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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?      Home login  
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 white_flag
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 4
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?Page 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Do both of these suggestions. He deserves his ass handed to him, however do not let him know that he is a very important part of the job. He might take that to his head and do other things that should get him fired, only to pull out the "You won't survive without me" card.

Write him up for sexual harassment and give him a verbal warning as to the conduct of his language.
 mermaid140
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 5
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:43:31 AM
I think you should say something. Pull him aside and have a chat. Tell him you overheard his conversation the other day and you were not happy with his remarks...

He will get the hint.
 xxxDINOxxx
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 6
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:43:59 AM
OP, tell him you overheard him and that there's a problem, IMO. See how he reacts. Also, if you saw him for instance chatting up this black girl, or you heard the two of them were going to go out or anything, personally I would say something to her about it as well. Obviously she'd have a right to know about it if she were actually considering going out with this guy.
 littlelynx
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 8
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:52:07 AM
Yarimelma, you obviously know nothing of sexual harrasment in the work force. It doesn't matter who it was directed at, legally there is no free speech in the work arena when it comes to offensive and profain topics, due to the fact that other employees are forced to hear what other people say. It is especially not a okay to make sexual and racist remarks at work.

For your own liablity, you need to document the incident and write him up. If you don't it can bite you in the end. Cover yourself and he will most likely make further offending comments that you need to also document. From there you have grounds for termination.
 mermaid140
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 10
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:00:07 PM
{{He has no business going around harassing employees just because they said "something about something" ...
Unless there is a case in hand. His business is how the guy does his job, not what he does with his dik in his private life. }}

This is not true. I was getting over the top remarks from a vendor that was coming to my job. My boss overheard them and reported it. We never saw him again. You have to becareful what you say in the work place.
 littlelynx
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 11
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:09:13 PM
Yarimelma:
That is your opinion and you have your right to it, but legally even conversations of sexual nature are not tolerated.
It leads to complications and can lead to a hostile work enviornment if she finds out.
Basically it makes people uncomfortable, and the right to not feel uncomfortable at work over rides your right to say sexual and offensive things.
 littlelynx
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 13
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:12:58 PM
Yerimelma,
you haven't been around human resouces much have you? At work we are considered an active involuntary audience. People are forced to hear what other employees are saying just by being there. You can't have private conversations at work, they are technically done on work time on business property.
 mermaid140
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 15
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:25:14 PM
But, you want to nip it in the bud before it becomes an issue. He heard it so now it is a problem. You don't want her coming in his office complaining that this man is bugging her when you could have stopped it.
 littlelynx
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 16
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:29:04 PM
Yarimelma,
Please keep some tact. I'm actually a director of a performing Company.
Like I said earlier, you just need to be sure to document everything. He should have written him up for the comments he made. I never said that was grounds for termination, but from there if the situation accelerates, he has documentation.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 19
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:13:32 PM
Maybe she secretly wants to fuck him back...



 Libraponi
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 20
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:15:38 PM

Boss's job is to protect his business.


Exactly.... and you're contradicting yourself in your posts. I see your 'profession' is "A Royal Pain in the" arse.

'Nuff said. Either you don't work, or you're completely oblivious and/or uneducated about labor laws.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 22
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:00:09 PM
No, he didn't come out and harass her did he. Just guy talk?
All you can do is take him in the office and tell him you are noting, writing up racist sexual convo in the work place as it won't be tolerated.

Honey, No one is irreplaceable. Lots of good people out there would love his job.
Only one warning and next time he is out. No reference letter.
Personally he wouldn't have a second chance with me.

op bring back the other pic..please. Talk about ugly...
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 26
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History
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:27:52 PM
a documented verbal warning is definately called for.

If you overheard it.......anyone could have over heard it
and that is not acceptable.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 27
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:32:42 PM

Keep your ASSumptions to yourself...
He has no business going around harassing employees just because they said "something about something" ...
Unless there is a case in hand. His business is how the guy does his job, not what he does with his dik in his private life.


You are ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!! When that employee opened his mouth in the workplace, and began discussing his sex life, racial slurs, and his intentions to commit sexual acts that will possibly put the business in jeopardy, you better believe the boss has every right and responsiblity to step in and take action. If the moron that wants to use and abuse a black woman had kept it out of the workplace and kept his mouth shut, then it wouldn't be an issue at the job, but now it is a work matter, and needs to be handled.

OP, you need to step in, take him aside privately and tell him that you heard his comments, write him up for racial slurs and then have him attend a mandatory class or therapy regarding sexual harassment in the workplace. Make him understand that this type of behavior will not be tolerated in your company, and that he is not to consider the women in your employ his private dating pool. He needs to keep his personal life at home, and out of the workplace. I would remind him that in this economic climate, there are a lot of people looking for work, and everyone is replaceable.

Don't let his value as an employee sway your actions. I guarantee that you can replace him in a week with a couple of good ads online and with a temp agency. Never let your employees rule you.

Beth
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 28
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:17:45 PM

I didn't know you cared!


Thank you!! Nice face.
 WolfPrint
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 31
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:02:58 PM
Wow, yari. It's a wonder you're single. You clearly respect women so much they should be lining up infront of you.
God help any woman that's foolish or desperate enough to get to know you.
 WolfPrint
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 34
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:31:33 PM
Don't laugh at me. You took the bait. :D
 StatlerandWaldorf
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 37
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:21:29 PM

Anyone can file a harassment charge whether or not they were the subject of the discussion. All they have to do is "to feel uncomfortable."


Yes, thank you. One doesn't have to be the target of a comment to feel offended by it.

There's no need to fire the man; he has to be given a chance to modify his behaviour appropriately. Sometimes people go around saying stupid crap like that because they don't even realize it's offensive, and no one ever calls them on it. In this case a private talking-to may be all that's needed to make him realize his comments are putting his job at risk.

As an employer I think our OP bears some (maybe a lot) of responsibility for setting the standard for the tone of the discourse around the workplace. Presumably the woman in question also does valuable work for the company - OP risks losing her (and maybe other female employees too) from the company if she gets fed up with working in an old boy's club environment, where Star Techie talks about women as though they are sexual objects, and the boss and everyone else condones this attitude with their silence.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 38
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:28:04 PM
He does not need to be (and should not be) FIRED based on one incident. He DOES need to be reprimanded, verbally and in writing, to give him a clue that this type of behavior is a problem.

If he wants to make asinine comments outside of the office on his own time and in a non-business setting (not an employee outing, offsite business meeting, etc.), then what he says in private life would be none of the boss's business. However, his being IN the office at the time - no matter to whom he was talking nor about whom the comment was intended - makes it an HR nightmare if not dealt with NOW, and a possible liability issue later for the company.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 39
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A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:38:48 PM
if it was my business , i would get rid if him he is a loose cannon, and not dealing with him will come back and bite you in the a ss, its the 21st century, no room for sexist racist employees
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 41
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:56:14 PM
Take it to HR.

Perception is reality in cases of hostile work environment. That is what he has done to you. You have a valid grievance.

If SHE complains, it escalates to sexual harassment.
 edburke001
Joined: 9/5/2009
Msg: 42
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:18:44 PM
The feminized PC crowd eagerly jumps in to show their moral superiority !

Has anyone actually complained.. including the black chick herself ? How about a simple 'please keep your comments to yourself' ?

If I were ever running my own company and someone complained to me, the boss, that he or she was offended over someone saying something, I would fire the person on the spot. Not the supposed offender but the one complaining. I know in today's liberalized/feminized culture it is fashionable to be offended and then demand that others make ammends, but in my company there will be zero tolerance for offendees.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 44
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:39:36 PM
^^No kidding.

There is a standard protocol to follow. Take it to HR.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 45
A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:23:20 AM
Self-indulgent rants aside...it's the LAW.

Take it to HR.
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 48
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A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:59:02 AM

The other day I overheard a conversation between two of my male employees. A woman who is our technical writer is a very attractive single African American. One of the male employees said that he was trying to get her to date him "just so I know what it's like to f*ck a black chick." From what I could tell, he has no interest in her beyond that, and he even made some pretty ugly racial comments in general. I wanted to go right in there and fire him on the spot...My question is, other than immediate termination, how would you handle this situation?

1. I'd start a file on this guy immediately, noting all of his legitimate professional digressions. If this technical writer's statement wasn't said to her or at the worksite, it's not a legitimate digression.
2. Once you have enough of a file on this guy, post his position. Tell the department that you are seeking to expand the staff.
3. Once you hire a new employee, get the bad employee to begin to train the new employee.
4. Once the new employee is adequately trained, terminate employment on the jerk.
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