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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?      Home login  
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 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 1
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Yes, I did a thread search. All of the threads with 'not ready' in the title are about a specific situation and people wanting an interpretation of what went wrong in theirs. I'm asking people who feel they are unready or have said those words what they meant by them. If it wasn't a blow-off, then what was it? How/why are or were you 'not ready'?
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 2
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:02:15 AM
Both, I have said it as a blow off cause I wasent attracted and wanted to spare thier feelings. And I have also said I wasent ready because I was unsure with how I felt. And then there are those that you just dont want to get involved with and then same thing. And yes they can be lies, but would it be more appropriate to say, "I am ready, but just not with you"
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 3
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:08:04 AM
For me, not ready means that for reasons outside of the relationship, the relationship is destined for failure. Work, school, grief, family issues and other emotional isses are common reasons.

For me, that's why I am skeptical of getting involved with people who have just recently ended a relationship. I've been there myself and with the gift of hindsight, I now know that the relationships I had been involved with back then could have been successful, had I been ready.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 4
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:10:15 AM
Because I don't want to be in a relaationship right now.
 OneMoreNutt
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 5
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:18:42 AM
After my divorce, I called a "relationship" the "r" word. I was like SoftandHappy, needed to "find myself".
Two years later, I told a guy I wasn't ready for a "relationship". He told me he wasn't either. We went to sleep. I woke up 3 years later realizing that the relationship neither of us wanted was in full swing.

Just because they say they aren't ready, doesn't always mean it can't happen.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 6
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:25:35 AM
It has meant that I had not yet figured out why the last relationship went south. One of my brothers made the mistake of charging right back into marriage after his first divorce, and now he is recovering from divorce 2.

It has meant that I discovered that I still had too much resentment and/or anger at a previous woman to be able to respond freely and rationally to a new one.

It has meant that I was financially and/or living conditions-wise, not ready to date with any reasonable chance of not appearing to be destitute.

It has meant that my life was full of complications, which despite my strong desire to be romantically involved, left me with not enough time to give to someone else.

I am apparently not one of the more common types of guys, who at least CLAIM that they are having so much fun playing the field that they just don't want to settle down, but that's a reason I've heard of.
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 7
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:09:48 PM
is getting married a choice or has it been mandated by law...are people so frightened of being alone they simply can't meet and see different people and allow them there freedom...this obsesssion everyone has with marriage mystifies me...if someone were to say to me i am not ready to get married i would only wonder this...what makes you sure you will ever want to....so really, today you don't want to get married to anyone...so don't...what is the big deal... isn't marriage something you do because you think you would be happier...or is single life ..wrong in some way....
 TodaysCatch
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 8
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:16:31 PM
Well, according to most women my age, it's because I don't have a failed marriage or three under my belt.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 9
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:36:34 PM
OP - if a person says they aren't ready for a relationship, it means that. Be it with you or another person. I don't think a full detailed explanation is needed. If someone isn't into you 100% then you really are better off without them.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 10
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:32:28 PM
If everyone is being honest----it means that they are emotionally cannot handle a serious relationship at this point in their lives. Some may say this and really want a relationship but you both are not clicking, but they should really be honest and say that to the other person. Sometimes they say that because it is more acceptable for the other person to handle. Sometimes people misjudge something the other person said and they jump the gun and determine that the other person is not their type. I myself, usually take it literal that they are not ready for a relationship for whatever reason and the receiver just has to let it go and not force the issue.
 sinlov
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 11
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:58:12 PM
IMO this means may mean different things at different times to different people and it is not always a way of blowing people off. Have you ever thought you were ready wanted to date and be blissfully happy, and yet within knew you weren't ready to bring a partner into the daily drama that might surround you, family issues, money issues, moving, or just being preoccupied with "other" things in so far as you could not, would not wish to involve a special someone in it to you feel resolved.

But I have said this before and also meant to the person, " I'm probably not feeling like a relationship with you.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 12
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:53:01 PM
Hi all - looong day at work. Thank you all very much for all your insights - I love to learn the 'whys' of how people are who they are and you have just filled in a number of 'whys' for me.

I sure am still around, cowbOy77, and look forward to your input! I'm happy to learn from you and anybody else's who cares to contribute. I'm sure this thread will be useful to others, too, since, as I mentioned, I couldn't find another like it. I actually have to work now from home but I'll definitely be checking in each day.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 13
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:02:01 PM
There seems to be some universal assumption because the site is a "dating site"...yeah we can all read...but there are other options. It's there....so not everyone who joins and posts a profile is looking to date, or for a relationship.

So the posts that start off with, well all of us are here for the same reason...not true. If it were there wouldn't be drop down selection.

Not ready for a relationship.......isn't a one-answer-fits-all. Not ready for a relationship COULD be, not ready for a relationship with YOU...or with you NOW. If you have to interpret it, then it's already a waste of time and brain cells.

It's good advice and logic/wisdom. Stay focused on what you want and desire and what makes you happy. If the other person that there may be an indication of interest, unless you've MET, it's possible potential interest...isn't ready for a relationship, take it as a cue to exit left and let it go. Don't try to come back and nag or give them crap about something they have on their profile...dating...long term, that may be what they want, it doesn't mean they'd want it with you.

You're making it a personal thing when it's not. Unless you can adopt a different mindset, it's highly unlikely you'll enjoy being here.

Not everyone who joins or posts a profile is looking for their "last love of a lifetime" or all the other flowery cliches. If you are, then unless you can be patient enough to learn how to make it work for you, this may not be the best venue.

Not ready for a relationship and what does that mean....it's so obvious, what else could it mean BUT that. You're looking or wanting it to mean something else....or wanting a reason to give someone some major crap about a line in their profile.

Not going to work favorably for you.
 ~*Isabel Kitty*~
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 14
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:14:28 PM
For me, it means not over an ex so it isn't right to move on yet. As I don't move on unless i'm 100% sure I would not take my ex back. I will date, but not commit to a "relationship"
 windsor_aries
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 15
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:17:33 AM
There's a term a phych friend uses for a woman ( or man) who's constantly 'running' after a divorce..I've found a lot of women go through this.My friend told me it mostly depends on the woman..some stop running after a few weeks,some after a few months...some never stop running.

My advice and his...you can't stop them..so why waste your time trying to catch them?
 coffeefan
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 16
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 11/17/2009 7:01:24 AM
Why do you have a profile??? two years before your even thinking of a relationship...come on get real...Why waste a ladies time...? just wondering
 joemac356
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 17
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 11/17/2009 1:16:29 PM
I'm sorry to say, but since reading these fora, I'be become convinced that most people are not ready for a relationship.
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 18
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 11/17/2009 3:37:53 PM

I just want to date, have some fun, and be friends with a man that is attractive to me physically & mentally. That's it.


Isn't this the way its suppose to start out at least? You go on dates, hopefully have some fun and excitement, and things move along at their own pace in whatever direction they move towards. Does it need to be more than enjoying each others company?right away?

Many seem on these short time tables- 3 dates and then buy a ring and run down the aisle. Why not a least take a little time to get to know each other and enjoy the ride. If the love is there, on both sides, the commitment will come.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 19
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:34:04 PM
I think "not ready for a relationship" describes my ex to a tee. And, frankly, she said so herself when she broke up with me.

In her case, because of some things that happened to her in the past, I believe she has a very difficult time forming relationships with people, mainly, I believe, from a fear of getting hurt by them.

She and I had met online -- not even a dating site -- and she was the one who relentlessly pursued me for a month until I finally gave in. It was long-distance, so it was three weeks before we could meet in person. When we did, the sparks were flying right off the bat. I can tell you it was the best weekend I ever had.

But shortly after she returned home, things just seemed to cool down a little bit. The next time we met, she was basically a cold fish. I had attributed that to her being stressed out over a class project she was doing at an online college she was attending, but the day after we got back home, she sent me an e-mail that basically said she was taking a long time away from relationships.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 20
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 11/21/2009 3:07:33 PM
Everybody's POV has been very interesting! If people are still writing, I'm still reading :)
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 21
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 5/24/2010 11:02:56 AM
Sometimes it means they are not ready for any type of relationship and sometimes it means not with you, not interested, may have sex but not meaning more. A person may well not feel ready for a relationship until someone comes along who makes them think differently, which comes under the heading of, not with you. The meaning behind it doesn't really matter much, the fact is, they aren't interested in being with you in anything committed or even steady. What's to analyze, they aren't interested in more with you, should be enough said.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 22
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 5/24/2010 11:07:38 AM
For me it means I have a lot going on and don't have enough time for the person in question (unless they are busy too and don't pressure me for free time, then it's cool). It also means I'm not in that frame of mind, or I feel things are going too fast, or I am in a situation where I can't get serious with someone who's looking to. If I feel my freedom's going to get compromised I'll say that also.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 23
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 5/24/2010 12:40:11 PM
Not ready usually means one of two things; either the person is focusing on their school/career and doesn't want to screw that up (after all, when the relationship is long over, we still have to have a good job), or the person who they are dating at the time isn't quite all that they want.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 24
You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 5/25/2010 8:47:39 AM
"You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?"
--------------
It means that somebody wants to keep his/her options open, i.e., fuc.k around and then use a backup plan.
 ~*Isabel Kitty*~
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 25
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You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean?
Posted: 8/15/2010 1:57:36 PM
If i'm "not ready" it means either I don't feel like going on a date cause i'm not over my ex, or I have tried and went on a date with you and it just didn't feel ready to become a relationship.
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