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 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 5
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Depends on the man.
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 16
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Posted: 10/26/2009 5:53:00 AM
It really depends. My girlfriend is mildly bi-polar,and when her and I 1st got together she was on meds that were too strong for her. There was some pretty major drama,but the sex was great so I stuck around. Maybe I saw something in her,but the sex made me stay. We're still together.
Then again I had a previous relationship where the sex was really good,but I just couldn't take the drama that went along with it,so I ended that one.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 18
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Posted: 10/26/2009 6:05:36 AM
Hmmmm...what about the other way round?
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 19
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Posted: 10/26/2009 6:23:00 AM
I would say yes to some degree. If a man wasent getting sex, theres a very slim chance he would put up with the frustrations of someone else. Its sort of a trade off he is getting some of his needs met while the other gets the opportunity to have someone take an intrest in yourself. I dont think proportionaity can be measured. The fact that both individuals get and recieve something is a fact. In the light of it, the women with the nerosis also gets sexual gratificatin as well. Since men are less comunicative, I think you have an ear that listens to you. Dont knock what you have, any man while capable of understanding and helping you deal with your issues by listening, its not fairl to judge a persons physical needs based upon your nerotic needs. Be happy there can be a trade off.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 23
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Posted: 10/26/2009 7:19:15 AM
digmusic wrote:
I have always wondered how much of what men put up with is proportional to the amount of sex they get


Darlin', to be honest, I have been amazed by the shallow world I read about in these posts and the one you seem to reside in.

While sex may / is a strong element in the quality of a relationship, a MAN (or if it's appropriate, a WOMAN) stays in a relationship (my mind is screaming marriage) out of commitment. Otherwise, you have reduced man-woman relationships down to the level of dogs sniffing each other looking for another to mate with. Personally, I like to think we are better than that, although most of the tidbits of knowledge I glean from these pages leads me to differing conclusions.

TK
{a commitment is a terrible thing to waste}
 PiggyT
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 24
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Posted: 10/26/2009 8:17:30 AM
Imagine my disappointment when I came into this thread expecting more sex and find this!

Good title... crappy content!

OT. Isn't the expression; Put up or shut up?
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 29
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Posted: 10/26/2009 11:06:06 AM
OP: Not if they're smart. Would you put up with DRAMA for sex?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 31
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Posted: 10/26/2009 12:42:19 PM
God gave men the fortitude of two brains. One big brain on top of our heads, and one little brain between our legs. Unfortunately, God gave men only enough blood to run one at the time.

So you do the math.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 38
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Posted: 10/28/2009 7:25:37 PM
It definately depends. I've never had the experience of sex being the kind of scarce commodity that your theory implies. I've said in other similar threads that if I smell falseness or insincerity or any craziness, I'm gone and no amount of sex will hold me, or justify continuance.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 43
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Posted: 10/29/2009 8:22:11 AM
No, I don't think it's true, otherwise you wouldn't have so many men staying with women who say they never get enough sex or not as exciting as they'd prefer. I think "most" men have more depth to them than to think that sex is all they require from a woman. Women stay with crappy lovers too because they get more out of the relationship than just tepid sex.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 45
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Posted: 10/29/2009 11:44:00 AM
I think the amount of sex really has nothing to do with it.
I see men who stay in sexless relationships for years all the time. It thinks it depends more on how clueless a guy is and how manipulative and controlling a woman is. In my past relationships I'VE always been the one disappointed in the amount of sex I was getting from my partner.
Men aren't the only ones motivated by sex to stay with someone that's not right for them. It wasn't till later in life I realized that a jackass is not sexy to me no matter how good looking he may be. When a man treats me well and wants to be with me? Now that's sexy. If a man is willing to put up with drama or abuse from a woman, I think it's usually only because the woman is smokin hot or they get off on the adrenaline rush from living in conflict.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 46
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Posted: 10/29/2009 2:29:56 PM
I hate drama and ****ing. I put up with it for a little while then I write it all down and let her read what I am thinking. If it continues I am gone. I am also not going to listen to every thing I did wrong every time there is a argument either. I would rather be miserable alone than with another person that makes me miserable.

I will call someone on it when they are being ****y and expect them to do the same when I do it.
 dsleeth
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 48
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Posted: 10/30/2009 3:09:13 PM
Any man with a brain-who chooses to be sexually active-will hit and run a woman who is a ****.

Any woman who doesn't have standards sets herself up to be hurt by a guy. A woman who nags and gives shit obviously has lowered her standards. So yeah, he partakes and he leaves her.
 OLIZAY
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 49
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Posted: 10/30/2009 3:11:31 PM
As a man who preaches and practices a stress free lifestyle aint no sex worth the drama.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 50
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Posted: 10/30/2009 3:54:08 PM
a man who is NOT getting more sex is putting up with more shit, air shelter, love and sex, oh yea and food
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 52
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Posted: 10/30/2009 5:38:34 PM
I definitely say yes to this on both sides. Sex is passionate and so is arguing. But it depends on if love is there. If there is love both sides must try to work on themselves enough to compromise and work out their differences to make the relationship grow closer together. Allow eachother to grow and be different but respect eachother and do not allow others to disrespect your partner in front of others.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 54
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Posted: 3/3/2010 5:33:18 PM
If a man is totally self-centured---he would stay for just the sex---but that would wear off with time if they have nothing in common. (vice versa). Both people need to seem like-minded thinking and have a genuine care for the other. Respect is very important in a relationship. Both parties must respect the characteristics and integrity of the other person and value them, which eventually should turn into love. Their love should bond them together, so that they compliment one another.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 55
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Posted: 3/3/2010 7:07:50 PM
Hell no. It isn't magical and doesn't hold any power over me. She is a nut case or is just a beyotch... I am gone. No ifs ands or buts. She may think so but then clearly she is delusional.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 56
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Posted: 3/3/2010 7:14:20 PM

Do you think men put up with way more "shit," aka drama and chaos from women if they get more sex?


there is always drama and chaos so plenty of sex sure does help.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 62
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Posted: 2/21/2011 1:56:19 PM


On the other hand, women do not hold themselves hostage by sexual favours or housekeeping advantages (rarely applies anyway)


I'm sure you can find many men who know they are in a mutual give/take relationship. There are many women who enjoy having a man around for more reasons than sex - sex is strictly the pay-off. I think you may be a little misguided in thinking sexual favors is not a two-way street.

^^^Of course it is for some...but I do think that for others that when they are unhappy at a really fundamental level in a relationship, sex can take a backseat in importance. Some women can find it emotionally impossible to be as connected sexually when other important relationship components are failing, or if they don't feel validated in a meaningful way.
 AquanGold
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 66
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Posted: 2/23/2011 5:47:34 AM
Most men will put up and tolerate almost anything providing they have a partner who knows how to throw a great ride... In a man`s world great sex rules and everything else can be worked out eventually...
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 67
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Posted: 2/23/2011 8:27:02 AM
^^^ if he's a low-value sap or 16-year-old or can't handle a few lonely nights with palmala, sure. plenty of hot women out there don't require a man to 'tolerate almost anything.'
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 72
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Posted: 2/25/2011 8:02:16 PM
I don't know, but I stayed in a relationship with a woman waaaay too long because the sex was so good. Then again, I stayed with my ex husband even longer and the sex was really bad. Not sure what that says about me.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 73
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Posted: 2/26/2011 6:52:21 AM
Like most things, it's all relative.

Funny, some guys here won't/can't admit that they have a least one relationship of which this is true. We ALL "put up"(if that's the expression to use) with certain things in another, and still hang around them. I can compare this to the +/- stat that hockey uses regarding individual players. If the plus'outnumber the negatives we as humans, will/can accept quite a bit.

Of course this is all relative to our ages and experinces. I actually am kinda attracted to the nutbars. Yeah, I know, it's MY problem. But at least I admit it.But when I sit down and do the math(the +/- again) I can see why. Sometimes the +'s outnumber the negatives by soooooo much that I just say the hell with it, and go with the show. Never really ends well, but hell, it's usually a ride I never forget. As time passes, I'm really starting to think that I'm much better entering these types of relationships if for any other reason, the entertainment value. We're only here for as long as "they" let us anyways,so why worry about it????
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 75
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Posted: 2/26/2011 3:18:18 PM

Do you think men put up with way more "shit," aka drama and chaos from women if they get more sex?


no


Guys will put up with anything, say anything, or do anything to get sex, or get sex again.


disagree- I've broken off a relationship with nothing in my hold hand with a girl who I had really great, very frequent sex with.


from what I've seen -- the guys who put up with more ""sh1t", etc- are the ones who are NOT getting enough sex. the girl has them on a string with her BS, and he's just their pining for the one time a month she's gonna actually put up with it.

its the exact opposite...

when I'm getting good, frequent sex - my confidence level as a man actually improves. I feel more like a man and in control of myself and my faculties as it were. lol

I caught myself in the former before and didn't know how to handle the situation.

After having learned and understood the dynamics of relationships/sex, etc- I see things much more clearly.


The last thing a guy should ever ""allow"" is his woman to hold out on sex.


She loses a great deal of respect for him as a man because of this.
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