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 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 1
Is porn ruining real live sex?Page 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I've read an interesting piece:


The latest to take porn to task for ruining modern ****ing is Salon's Mary Elizabeth Williams. She writes,

"Convenience, ubiquity, and the goal-oriented, money-shot, male-centric perspective of most porn (hint: women don't need to see that much fellatio) have changed us. Much has been written on how porn's transformation into the modern sexual lingua franca affects women – the pressure to be bush-shaved and adept at pole dancing didn't come from Oprah or Martha Stewart. But porn has changed men too – what we expect of them, what they demand of themselves. And the problem is that thinking you can learn to make to love to a woman from watching porn is like thinking you can learn to drive from watching "The Fast and the Furious."

Her point is that dudes who watch too much Ron Jeremy think that women want to be jackhammered — or, more upsettingly, that they enjoy a man "withdrawing his member at key moments to thump it on" them.

http://jezebel.com/5395261/do-we-need-to-be-told-how-to-have-sex

What is your perspective?
 blueberrywaffles
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 2
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:59:21 PM
Answer: Yes it is/has.
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 3
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:13:06 PM
When you see enough of it and have enough good sex porn becomes boring.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 4
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:20:05 PM
Never saw Ron Jeremy jackhammer anything- his oxygen debt would be overwhelming by the fourth stroke. And the withdrawal is just a prolonging ploy, at least that's my guess.
When I get bored, and that happens alot, lol, I wander into porn sites, and regardless of the media form, have been doing so since I was a teenager.
My perspective: porn has influenced me momentarily, kinda like this sixth game of the World Series, but the lasting effect of each will be about the same- Nada. There are certainly demons to fault for sexual mismatches, deficiencies, insecurities and errors in perception, but the porn industry is not among them. As for Ms. Williams article, well, sex sells, and Salon can be expected to push causes that appeal to its readership. Whenever I observe a woman discussing how a man thinks, or the reverse, I am always bemused by the arrogance and presumption. Granted, a porn clip may impact a sub-adult, lol, i.e., a very young and inexperienced one, but I think that washes off with the first post-coital shower.
Her website title, "Do we need to be told how to have sex?", certainly has some superficial appeal, and the answer is most assuredly that we could all benefit from some education and instruction. imho But that has little to do with the mechanics of coitus, and alot to do with mutuality and respect for each other.
 blueberrywaffles
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 5
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:23:22 PM
I dont' think porn ever "becomes boring" which is why it is perennially popular. The question is, I think, as one poster mentioned, a question of moderation. Of HAVING SEX as much as just watching it.
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 6
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:32:51 PM
if you watch enough porn, your own sex life and the situations that you find yourself in can never compare to that of the porn scenes. porn scenes are outragiously sexy or out of the ordinary. they are illusions. if you think your own sex life should be more like a porn scene then you need help.
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 7
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:33:09 PM
It only becomes boring when I have enough good sex. Most porn is boring, some is very stimulating.
 Thaddal
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 8
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:38:23 PM
Porns for kids...it's a learning experience for the...ones who like to" hit and run.." most of what hasent ran past them too quickly..and if you satisfy the man you are with...he has no need for porn...remember that....
 Torrtyr
Joined: 10/31/2009
Msg: 9
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:21:14 PM
mmm no diseases aids herpes is ruing real live sex sorry i'd rather beat my meat then have my****fall off from some weird virus shiznazzle you just don't know these days anymore
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 10
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:34:55 PM
Funny for me it was just the opposite. Live sex just killed porn for me... I've never recovered... Damn GF!!!
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 11
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:11:22 PM
Depends on which type of porn you're talking about IMO. Some of it is over the top ridiculous, purposely debasing etc (the kind I don't care for). While there is a lot that is perfectly "real" and great.
 Heptone
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 12
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:28:13 PM
Very funny, Ohio ...
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 13
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:36:52 PM

or, more upsettingly, that they enjoy a man "withdrawing his member at key moments to thump it on" them.


There's something wrong with that? ~puzzled~
 Shaitan
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 14
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:50:39 PM
I wub porn, but Im also smart enough to know half of it is bullshyt. However men are not. So I do think men who use porn as a sex manual really do end up screwin things up. hahahahahahaha. I said screwin!! Giggle.

^T^
 Aelphabae
Joined: 9/27/2009
Msg: 15
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:15:51 PM
I think it is funny that she refers specifically to the "thumping it on them" part - I've had men do this thinking it is teasing/tantilizing/a turn on... I'm sorry but having my clit slapped with your penis is not a turn on. Girl on girl porn is even more humorous - women don't kiss each other by touching the tips of their tongues or dry humping each other's crotches...
 S to the B
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 16
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:21:22 PM
i learned everything i know about sex from watching porn
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 17
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:01:53 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^ You should put that on your profile.
 soflnighteagle
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 18
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:54:03 AM
I have wondered if porn changes what we consider normal sex. For instance, were some many guys always into anal sex or is the fact that it is now in every pron movie a factor in why it is almost considered normal now? Same can be said about oral sex, to take it another step is suddenly that started showing pegging in every porn movie would guys all start asking for that? Do we think girl on girl is hot because they show it in pron? I mean you do start to wonder what is normal and pleasing to the opposite sex, and I believe that porn is a poor representation of what normal is but do we even have any other meassuring stick. Is porn the reason all women want bigger and bigger boobs, and men want longer and longer d@#ks? It is a little hard to live up to the standards that the porn industry portrays, and I've wonder how much it influences how we behave in the bedroom, or pool, or bathroom or etc. etc. etc.....
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 19
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:14:54 AM
If relationships are ruined by porn - then the relationship was not ment to be in the first place. Porn like anything else sex related should only be a tool for stimulation or entertainment if required - then the 'real' life relationships should be your priority. If that is not the case - therapy may be in order!
 handsoflove
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 20
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:09:53 AM
Live sex shows are better than porn, but if you sit in the front row be careful about yawning. And bring a carrot for the donkey. They like that.
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 21
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:38:58 AM
Thanks a lot.

Now I have this horrible vision in my head of Oprah, Martha Stewart and Ron Jeremy acting out a pornified version of a scene from The Fast and the Furious.

The Horror, the horror.
 ChefInJeans
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 22
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History
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:09:45 AM
As a late bloomer and a shy kid I never really had a clue on what I was actually supposed to do when it came to sex. My first time was awkward and admittedly sloppy, but I did watch some porn to get the basic idea and it does help.

You have to take it with a grain of salt though. I think for those of us that arent super suave by nature in bed its a good technical tool for the most basic concepts such as where you should be and where she should be to maximize the experience for you both.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 23
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:18:31 AM
tuffluv1984


I've read an interesting piece:


The latest to take porn to task for ruining modern ****ing is Salon's Mary Elizabeth Williams. She writes,

"Convenience, ubiquity, and the goal-oriented, money-shot, male-centric perspective of most porn (hint: women don't need to see that much fellatio) have changed us. Much has been written on how porn's transformation into the modern sexual lingua franca affects women – the pressure to be bush-shaved and adept at pole dancing didn't come from Oprah or Martha Stewart. But porn has changed men too – what we expect of them, what they demand of themselves. And the problem is that thinking you can learn to make to love to a woman from watching porn is like thinking you can learn to drive from watching "The Fast and the Furious."

Her point is that dudes who watch too much Ron Jeremy think that women want to be jackhammered — or, more upsettingly, that they enjoy a man "withdrawing his member at key moments to thump it on"

http://jezebel.com/5395261/do-we-need-to-be-told-how-to-have-sex

What is your perspective?


I think for men and women who take porn too seriously. Yes it has effected them in the bedroom. But then again those same people are probably taking what Jay Leno and/or David Letterman says seriously every night. They probably watch a Sly Stallone movie and think they can do the same thing physically as well.

In my opinion is that the people that would take movies (no matter what genre) seriously have a problem anyways.

Something that could be interpreted incorrectly is the Oprah and Martha statement. That could be saying that if someone doesn't see something on there then it isn't right? So they are the word of the people? So they tell everyone to jump off the Empire State Building would they do it because Oprah said so? This could be a promotion for them. Watch Oprah and she knows EVERYTHING and if she says something is wrong don't do it. Come on; in a way someone that believes that is just as bad as someone who would believe porn movies IMO.

Not downing Oprah or Martha just stating the facts Ma'am.
 Bãbygirl
Joined: 5/15/2009
Msg: 24
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:45:47 AM
Porn has absolutely ruined sex.

Deep throating used to be a mysterious and wonderful perk, now it's an expectation.
Anal...same thing. Girls who did it were....ya....and now it's an expectation.

Why do women shave? Cuz we like it but WHY? Who thought of it and WHY? the idea has to have started somewhere.
I know I saw my first 'landing strip' on porn.

What is next? Choking? Slapping? (yes I actually watch it lol) the thought of the next trend women will be expected to step up to is kinda scary.
Each fad in porn is slightly more outrageous than the last one and raises that expectation that much further.

Why cant we expect all the guys to be hung like a porn star or able to go on for hours and hours?

Dont get me wrong. So far it's all worked for me, I have a hell of a lot of fun lol but Im a little nervous about "what's next" since the onus is always on women to step up and perform like porn stars in order to keep the men in their lives happy.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 25
Is porn ruining real live sex?
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:56:36 AM
But who is going to teach these young men and women about sex? I've said this a million times in these forums. Parents are NOT going to do this because most parents cannot even fathom that their child is a sexual being.

Why don't more parents suggest some good educational sex shows like "Sex with Sue". This is a great show for young people of that age. All the parent need do is burn a CD of the episode or discreetly give them the website and say "you might find this interesting". And then you leave it ALONE.

Unfortunately not everyone takes their sex research into their own hands. Most people are happy with the status vanilla missionary quo that they will perform all their lives. Then once a woman comes into her sexuality into her 30's and tells her husband she is unhappy, he hasn't a clue why. I've seen so many women leave their husbands because they needed more in the bedroom and this has been on the increase.

It is up to each individual to do their sex homework. I won't settle for less anymore. Once you have experienced a partner who is on your level in sex knowledge, openess and viewpoint - you don't go back.

Porn is merely a fantasy aid. Sure it's fun to perhaps act it out or try things for fun. But if you can't remember to laugh about it and to understanding your reality, you need to re-think things. Most couples cannot even sit down and discuss their likes and dislikes out of the bedroom. It takes courage to sit down in the living room, fully clothed and begin a conversation about that. But there are plenty of aids and fun things to help you achieve better sex communication. Sex should be fun, but it should also be taken somewhat seriously if it is lacking. It is a PART of the relationship.

Anyone who has an interest in sex in general knows what I'm talking about. Those that don't should really do so or remain happy with their vanilla missionary status quo.

And any man or woman who thinks that their partner should be able to perform like a porn star needs to perhaps go find a partner who works in the industry. :38:
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