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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Prison dating      Home login  
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 5
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Prison datingPage 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Can't say I agree with people making it to prison based on a 'bad decision' Katie. We are not talking jail time here but actual prison.

I won't venture to say either that those are the bad guys and we are the good guys, but why 'LOOK' for trouble. Lots of men who are not behind bars to choose from.

Not necessarily so either that its only bad if they killed someone...but that's a story for another forum.
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 6
view profile
Prison dating
Posted: 7/12/2005 10:23:22 AM
Gee hank5, I was gonna date you just for the access to the prison library. How disappointing to learn that you are not in
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 8
Prison dating
Posted: 7/20/2005 12:56:01 AM
Some womens ability to make bad decisions simply astounds me.

Society locks a guy up to protect you from him, and it seems like a good idea to date him?

Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 11
Prison dating
Posted: 7/23/2005 7:26:38 PM
I started dating a guy who went to prison shortly thereafter for 2 years. I waited, and we wrote letters and talked on the phone. All went great! Until he got out and decided that he didn't like some of the life choices I made and jumped ship like a drowning rat!
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 13
Prison dating
Posted: 9/29/2005 6:40:50 PM
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 14
Prison dating
Posted: 10/21/2005 7:44:38 AM
Very interesting thread/subject

now I know this thread is basically about men in prison or have been but ladies, you can be just one decision away from prison yourselves.

I work for a company that hires women that have just been released to a halfway house. All but one, was imprisoned for drugs. About 50 percent of those, it was the boyfriend and to save his butt, guess what.
Some of these women, deserved to go to prison and they do not make it. There are violated and are returned.
Others, make it with no trouble, first stage is the halfway house, then house arrest, and they are finally released to what is called on paper. Otherwise known as Parole.
Now if I did not know, most of them I would have never suspected they had served time.
Now they do receive a lot of help, but they actually have to do it themselves.

Some of them when you talk to them, get to know them, they have learned a lesson, they will never put themselves in a position that will get them in trouble again.
After a while, you learn who is telling you a story and who is telling you the truth, mostly because their behavior tells you.
We had one that was really cute, sweet personality, and she was a thief.
She has about three more years to figure out what her problem is.

It has been a very unique experience.
I've learned a lot.
As I said in the beginning, basically you are one decision away from prison.
If I had to make one recommendation, never allow yourself to get involved with a man that is doing drugs.
You may find yourself doing time while he walks free. That is actually the most sickening thing about this. These women trusted their men and men rolled over on them. Blame them for everything and somehow the courts don't see it. They freely admit they were there, but sometimes I don't think they deserve what they got, but some of them did deserve what they got.
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 15
Prison dating
Posted: 10/22/2005 5:50:01 AM
why do people go to prison?
There's more than one reason!
You have career criminal, who all their life has committed crimes, small things, big things, these people they are the true threat to society. Because even after they are released, they will continue the same behavior.

Then you have the crimes of passion or desperation, a person who has actually been law-abiding up to this point then there is a situation where they make a bad decision. Alcohol involved, a fight with somebody, etc. after they are released, very rarely do they ever commit another crime.

And there are mistakes. The person chose to get involved with the wrong person and they do not realize the mistake until it's too late. Years ago I knew this girl who had a boyfriend, she was driving, they decided to stop for doughnuts. For some stupid reason, spur of the moment, he decided to rob this doughnut shop, he got $42. She didn't even know he had done this until the police stop them, she was driving, she got seven years.

As I said in my previous post, where I work, I am dealing with women who have just been released from prison. A lot of them have done what they were accused of. But some of them, it was their boyfriend, they trusted their boyfriend to protect them. This is a mistake they made. They didn't do anything other than trust the wrong person, they get an average of three years for this.

And as I said, you are just a decision away from prison. And sadly, more often than not, the guilty will more likely get off than the innocent.

At work the other night, we have one woman who we believe will be very successful in life, even with her record. She has done very very well. But two of the others were jealous. They're going nowhere, obvious from their behavior, they like to fight, argue, blame everybody else for their problems. We found out that they were going to set up this other woman, they were going to spike her drink with cocaine. (Some might say they haven't done anything wrong yet. But this is not a normal situation) Now we have informed the one woman, and I must say I am also very proud of the way she reacted when we told her. She could have very easily sought to take matters into her own hands. That would tell me she is still of the negative way of thinking. But she is trusting us and the higher authorities to protect her. But we are not sure if this has already happened, but if it has, if she comes up positive on her drug test, she's not going to be violated.
These other two women come Monday morning, will have three more years to figure out what their problems are, strangely I have a feeling they will blame everybody but themselves.
And actually that is one of the things that will tell you if a person is doing good or not, who do they blame for their trouble. Do they accept responsibility or not.
And on a personal note, I would feel safer in a relationship with some of these women more than I would with some I see that have never been imprisoned.
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 16
Prison dating
Posted: 10/22/2005 6:16:46 AM
It is the blaming others syndrome.
At work we figure out pretty quickly who will make it and who will not. But we did have one real serious disappointment, this person had done so well we don't even know what happened. But sometimes, but they are under incredible pressure, the rules are so strict, I don't think any normal person could hardly keep them. But we think the pressure just got to them and they gave up and chose to return to drugs and they went back to person.
We were let down. Most time we don't get that involved personally, but every so often you have the special person and you can't help not getting involved.
As this one that was going to be set up. I am terribly concerned for her. She has six more weeks under the rules before she is released to parole. She is under house arrest, she has two children, now there is no rules that I cannot become "personally" involved. So I'm trying to alleviate temptations. To go to the store, she has to get permission a week in advance, what time she will be there, who she will be with, what time she will be home. Last week she had gone to the store, get things for her children. But she forgot one thing, and it was something for her daughter that she was doing for a school project. So she was going to take the chance on the way back home from work and stop and get what she needed for her daughter. I have a child, I know what it's like when you need to do something for them. They come first. But if she had gone to the store without permission, that's a violation. Now there are minor violations and major. A major, it's over, you are returned to prison, but a number of minors, missing phone calls, not checking in on-time, late for meeting etc. that will get you returned.
And going to the store without permission is just under a major violation.
So I went and I got what she needed. She chose to come here instead of going back to where she had lived previously because she wanted to start a new life. She knows nobody here, she has no outside support. She needs a friend, I don't need these problems in my life, but I am going to choose to be her friend and whatever problems, they will come with the choice, I will deal with them.
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 17
Prison dating
Posted: 10/22/2005 6:55:44 AM
WOW, i think there is a big difference between 'open minded' and down right 'stupid'!~! There are plenty of men/women in this world to choose from, why would someone deliberately choose one that is behind bars? There are enough troubled souls right here, infront of you , you don't need to go looking for them! And people think LONG DISTANCE dating is tough? try BEHIND THE BARS dating LOL

as Jessika says, 'just make better choices'
Joined: 11/10/2004
Msg: 18
Prison dating
Posted: 10/22/2005 9:58:59 AM
I saw an interesting TV program a while back that explored prison romances and what happens after release.

Apparently, the marriages don't last as a general rule. The couple breaks up.
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 19
Prison dating
Posted: 1/9/2006 6:35:21 PM
you know that is too bad to hear about what happened to you,really people like that should be locked up for the rest of their lives,but not every person who go's to jail is a goof diddler,there are lots of people out there who have gone to jail for making a bad desicion,just cause people go through things in their lives ,that may influence them to do bad things,does not meen they cant change and that they are bad people.i know of many people who were drug addicts and robbed people or stole,who are now youth councillors or youth pastors...just cause someone may have been in jail doesnt meen there child molestor or rapist
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 20
Prison dating
Posted: 1/9/2006 6:42:22 PM
and as far as im conserened if a guy can get some while hes in ...he must be somethin right...not every women on this earth is as negative and judgmental as most of the women here...and i said most not all cause i really did agree with a few
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 22
Prison dating
Posted: 2/1/2006 5:02:09 PM

"Prison dating
Posted: 7/12/2005 959 AM
girl u go with what u feel is right...i dont know y he is in prison but they all arent bad just made a bad decision on what they did...(only bad if they killed someone) dont listen to what others have to say go with your heart."

I would have to say the same thing because right now my boyfriend is locked up as well, but he did NOT rape or kill ANYBODY he's in jail because of what happend one night. When he was working doing "repo" (picking up people's car's when they, didn't make payments on time) an cop pulled him over in OUR blazier because of no tags and an open beer container and an firearm. (his stepmom/dad loan him.) NOT EVERYBODY goes or gets LOCKED up for rapeing/killing or molestation, i wish this world was NOT so cold hearted.
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 23
Prison dating
Posted: 2/1/2006 7:37:50 PM
" Prison dating
Posted: 1/9/2006 8:35:21 PM
you know that is too bad to hear about what happened to you,really people like that should be locked up for the rest of their lives,but not every person who go's to jail is a goof diddler,there are lots of people out there who have gone to jail for making a bad desicion,just cause people go through things in their lives ,that may influence them to do bad things,does not meen they cant change and that they are bad people.i know of many people who were drug addicts and robbed people or stole,who are now youth councillors or youth pastors...just cause someone may have been in jail doesnt meen there child molestor or rapist"

I agree with you on that part there are ALOT of different reason's why a man/woman goes to prison it could be something minor or it could be something, real heavy. I think if "we" (all of us) do not know the person's background-history or even know the person i don't see why we have the right to "judge" yes we have the right to speak OUR mind's on the fourm's, we also have the R.I.G.H.T. to not agree with somebody/anybody else's oppion on here. After all this is the "internet" and we truly do "NOT" know the person or the person's situration unless we take the time to find out about the guy/girl and ask them question's to get to, know them better. I will speak on "my experience" i know a few women/men who's been in "prison" who are not at all bad people they just made some bad mistake's in their life, and down the road but i do not hold that over "THEIR" head's.

Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 25
Prison dating
Posted: 2/11/2006 11:35:39 PM

You said we shouldn't "assume" because we know nothing, about you or you'r life..?

Well shouldn't that be IT aswell YOU should NOT "assume" somebody did
something so terrible wrong that can NOT be forgiveing because YOU truly
do NOT know, him or ANY of us who have known/dated somebody with
a bad past.

Alright so YOU would NOT date a guy who has an record of being an convicted fellon
or an ex convict that's YOUR right's nobody is telling you what you should be doing
with you'r life, or who YOU should be with.

I wish you wasn't so high pitch one somebody's past because WE all have a bad past and even some of us have a bad record lord's KNOWS were NOT all perfect or even P.E.R.F.E.C.T,
in any way.

By The Way i just LOVE the little (smiley)
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 26
Prison dating
Posted: 2/11/2006 11:44:16 PM

Yes i KNOW it was an crimial offense O.K.A.Y (maybe spaceing the word's, will help YOU).

I'm NOT saying it was NOT a C.R.I.M.A.L offense NOBODY is ****ing perfect and i do NOT see where you or ANY body has the RIGHT'S, to judge ANY OF US or **** about me(or)my boyfriend or this girl and her boyfriend. I mean i'm SURE you ALL (we all) have done some shit in our past's that was wrong but NOBODY is ****ing at you or all of us about our past's.

YOU or NOBODY know's a damn thing about me or my boyfriend or OUR first child (on the way) so what gives you or them the right, to judge me or "us" (couple) about being with somebody who has a ****ed up past.

i for ONE..!


(wow it's funny because i bet everybody who, post's on here acturly think's the LITTLE word's, people use's on here so calls UPSETS me... thats funny )
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 27
Prison dating
Posted: 2/12/2006 9:29:34 PM
That's nice to know and hear jess (if i may call, you "jess".)

I'm not saying my boyfriend is innocent he knew better to bring
the handgun along and i know it was because he had me, and
his unborn child in the car with us.

But he is "paying" for that now and he's been sitting in there
for almost 4 month's now and he's still not home because of
him, being an ex con and haveing an hand gun on him.

I'm not trying make it sound like i am takeing up for him or
trying sound like i'm saying he is an angel because god know's
none of us, are "angels" and he admitted it was stupid and wrong
of him to bring along the handgun while we left that night.

But he's doing his time and when he get's out i'm still going
to be around and still love him for who he is, not what he
has done in his past. (May i ask why were still, on this subject.?)

It's hard enough trying stay calm and not get upset over stuff
when people in half of my family does not, wan't to be around me
because i'm haveing a baby by somebody who is locked up right now.

Well you know what..... i CHOOSED to have this baby and
i choosed to have him in my life because before we ran into
some bad luck we was doing FINE we never fight/**** at one
another and at least i knew he NEVER cheated on me, or
slept around on me with some lady who was in her late 40's.

Like my ex boyfriend did while we lived togeather and slept in
the same bed he was NEVER at home during the night's and
half of the time, he wouldn't come home until 7am the next
morning. He would be out sleeping around with some other whore
and stay gone from around 6pm-7am sometime's little later than
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 28
Prison dating
Posted: 2/19/2006 2:45:25 AM
Okay i have a question lol since i can not sleep tonight and its
going on 5am it's 4:42AM now but yeh anyway's back to my question,
what would you do/say if you was ALREADY with somebody and they
got arrested and they have serve their time in jail/prison wichever it
may be.?

Would you brake it off?
(being an jerk/cold hearted and haveing people, look at it as if why brake it off now when you have been with the person over 3year's?.)

What would you do if you (the guy) got arrested and have to serve sometime in jail/prison and you'r ole lady is pregnant and, you come home after being locked up to find that she's moved on and raising yall's child with another man?.

Just wondering what anybody would do IF,
any of US had to face that point in our live's.
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 31
Prison dating
Posted: 5/14/2006 4:14:43 PM
i dont understand how you meet somone while there in jail? how does that work?
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 33
Prison dating
Posted: 5/16/2006 11:26:33 AM
^^^^^The boyfriend doesn't need to "share" his paperwork with her, it's public record. If she wants to see it, all she has to do is pull it up on the web or visit her local courthouse.

And yes, there are times when life takes turns we do not expect. I work in the legal community (have for over 18 years) and like it or not, not all criminals are in jail, nor are all in jail criminals. No one needs to bash me for that statement, I know I know....all government figures (police officers, etc.) are honest, do their job, etc., etc. (yeah right!!) The simple fact is, sometimes you may love someone who makes bad choices for him/herself. That is life. And yes, there is someone in my life who is incarcerated. He is probably the most honest person I've ever known, that is why he's incarcerated ~ he admitted his mistake. Now, he's paying for it. He lost me, his freedom and a portion of himself. I stay in contact with him, out of respect. He taught me the true meaning of love. For you doubters out there ~~~ be very careful what you say. Things happen in life that you would never anticipate. Unless you've been in my shoes or anyone else's shoes in this position you can not say with certainty what you would or would not do. I learned that lesson the hardest way imaginable. I was once very judgmental, like many here ~~ not now. ~ Without knowing him, I wouldn't know love ~ how lucky I am that he entered my life.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 34
Prison dating
Posted: 5/16/2006 11:46:40 AM
^^^Should either of you need to vent from time to time, feel free to email me. There are definitely times when one needs to talk to someone who isn't going to point out all of the hateful/negative aspects of our choices!! I have some great online support links, for those of us ~~ out here ~~ so to speak! Good luck to you both.
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 35
Prison dating
Posted: 5/16/2006 3:02:04 PM
First off I want everyone that reads this to know that I am not passing judgment on this jessika2980. I have no hate, or ill will towards her or her or her parents profession and I wish her nothing and her family nothing but the best now and in the future. But I just want to share a different point of view on things about her and her family being apart of the legal system. I read through everything written on this forum about "Prison Dating" And out of everyone who spoke on this matter this user jessika2980 was totally hilarious in the way she presents herself and with her thinking. BTW she would NOT make a very good lawyer. Most of the time she was just making comments that you don’t even have to be a licensed legal professional to even know yourself what she is talking about is against the law. BLAH BLAH BLAH… Have you noticed how she talks about what is morally and or legally right and wrong and what she would not do because its not morally or legally right, but wrong? like all that "talk" in someway makes her a better person or that she even for an instant even believes and or lives the life in which she speaks about. Almost every time she spoke on this forum she speaks in a way that because she has parents that worked and even retired from our legal system and that she too has worked in our legal system that in some way that makes her and or her parents better people than others. That is totally false. MOST of the time dealing with the kinds of people that are corrupt in the legal system that is one of the FIRST signs to watch out for as a professional to spot them for who they truly are as corrupt and completely unjust and or plain and simple no good. Let me tell you the other side of the REAL truth and learn something Jessika backing it with FACT because that 2980 could be just your own prison number that you and or one of your parents deserve yourself ... Some of the worst people you will ever find in the entire world that have gotten away scott free over and over endlessly with corruption, drug dealing and use, assault, mental and physical abuse, rape, murder and so on are people IN our justice system even NOW and or that have retired. That includes possibly you and or your own parents jessika. I have seen even those working in our justice system currently, and or retired if not cover up crimes of there own help a friend and or family member cover up a major crime they would have went to prison over MANY times. And let me tell you don’t think the US government WILL NOT KILL YOU if they think you’re a threat to blow the whistle on someone doing things illegally but its suppose to be TOP SECRET off the record that’s only for the better of America and the American people. I would rather you save your BS on how just because you work and or have worked in our justice system that you are in someway BETTER or completely innocent cause I can assure you with FACT that your far from innocent and or perfect little lady. That includes you and or your parents. Being in the profession I am in I have seen this shit FIRST HAND PERSONALLY over and over with all types and kinds of local, state, and national law enforcement officials and agencies and government officials and agencies and its sad that there are even actual contracts that keep those that work in the legal system on local and state and national levels from ever being convicted of breaking the law themselves even for MAJOR crimes such as MURDER. Another fact is even if you can't cover a crime up, if you know the right people and or can afford a good lawyer its already been proven over and over that even if your caught RED HANDED for the crime you can pay your way out of trouble rape murder ect ect.... So please little girl save your statements for your parents to make them happy. After all I bet they even helped you get a conviction for that dude you say raped you. And maybe he did and if so then he got what he deserved… But then again if say he didn’t really rape you, it still made it allot easier for that person to be convicted with your parents and you already apart of the legal system didn’t it? Even if he was completely innocent, but you just wanted to **** up that mans life up because you were pissed off maybe because he just left you and wanted nothing to do with you and or he just cheated on you and that made you so angry you decided to claim rape and say to yourself that he will pay. Maybe you were virgin and it would have killed mommy and daddy that you had sex out of wedlock so claiming rape would have covered your ass in that situation as well and or heres another maybe just maybe you were and or are a married woman that was out cheating around on your husband behind his back there was a chance you were gonna get caught and or did get caught and in order to make sure it was covered up and make you look completely innocent you claimed this man you were willingly having sex with raped you. After all you will always me mommy and daddy’s little girl that can do no wrong. Even if something happened to where you went out and killed someone yourself in cold blood over something, I bet even if your parents knew right up front that you DID it that you was guilty they would STILL try to prove your innocence as much as they could because your there little girl. They would probably work there asses off day and night if not to get you off scott free, or lesson the charges so you would not do any prison or county jail time or just so you could spend sometime in a mental hospital and be out and that’s only IF they couldn’t in some way get the crime you committed completely covered up first. Gos back to what I have always said that is also FACT. Just because America has the greatest working system to date in the world, doesn’t mean that it is NOT a system with major flaws. That will never change because the people who are in control of our legal system no matter on what level the contribute there service they are not flawless people.

Including jessika and her parents.
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 36
Prison dating
Posted: 5/18/2006 9:19:36 PM
"only bad if they killed someone"

I strongly disagree.In my opinion, a rape is a greater crime than murder.When you kill a person, atleast the person dies and is free.But when you rape a woman, she loses everything and has to live with that horrible act committed against her for the rest of her life.I am not a forgiving-forgetting type of a person.However, if I had to forgive either a murderer or a rapist, I'd forgive the murderer.Because when you rape a woman, you kill her everyday and that is the greatest crime in my opinion.
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 37
Prison dating
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:10:58 AM

unless you really wanna.
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 38
Prison dating
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:12:46 AM
I totally agree. Prison doest NOT rehabilitate anybody. Institutionalizes them if anything. When people change out of their ways, I think its purely out of their own mental strength. Which happens rarely, have you seen Dog the Bounty Hunter? cheesy reference, but you see my point lol.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Prison dating