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 AUTHOR
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 4
The L WordPage 1 of 1    
So I've been "seeing" this guy for over a year and a half now. We have agreed on a NSA relationship. The other night he asked if I loved him. I thought he mistakenly said it. I pretended I didn't hear him, but he said it again. So I answered saying that I love what he does for me. He corrected me and asked me again if I loved him. I said that I like him. I do like him. Why would you ask someone that though? Was he caught up in the moment?




Some people need affirmation about this i guess.
 Skyzeus2
Joined: 11/9/2009
Msg: 5
The L Word
Posted: 11/15/2009 4:16:15 PM
So I answered saying that I love what he does for me.....Thats honest. At this point he should have dropped the topic.

He corrected me and asked me again if I loved him. I said that I like him. I do like him.....This is fine. You have sex now and then, and you like him.

Why would you ask someone that though? Was he caught up in the moment?...Yes he could have enjoyed the sex you just had with him, and he got emotionally confused about what he was feeling. This can happen.
Being able to have sex with each other does not always mean there is love, and of course its only been about a year and half, so to tell him you like him, is perfectly acceptable.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 12
The L Word
Posted: 11/15/2009 5:14:48 PM
He asked simply because he asked you. Any intentions behind WHY he asked will remain pure speculation on our side but his own.

Since he asked the question and is not “hearing” the words in your answer , you can rest assured that he is still going to be wondering if you do, or not. This said, you could be quite clear and direct with him and the next you want, simply mention to him that you do feel close to him more than all other guys you know and, you know that you do not see yourself falling in love with him. Once you tell him that, ask him if he is okay with that and “hear” his words if wither or not he has feelings for you.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 14
The L Word
Posted: 11/15/2009 5:46:23 PM
No, he wasn't caught up in the moment. He'd possibly just be caught up in the moment if he SAID he loved you, but he wasn't just caught up in the moment ASKING if you loved him persistently. And you were dodging the question, so that's why he kept asking.

Why would you ask someone that? You ask them that if you feel like you may love them and you feel like they may love you... OR you're convinced you're madly in love with them and just need to set the record straight on feelings.

A relationship isn't going to be defined by the label the two people put on it. I repeat, a relationship is NOT going to be defined by the label the two people put on it. It is defined by how things UNFOLD and the feelings involved, REGARDLESS of some "label" you may put it on. You can't prevent someone falling for you or doing something hurtful just because of a label you two previously agreed upon.

Agreeing on an NSA relationship sets the tone and the starting point, but what you two DO in actuality will dictate what it really is after some time goes by. You can't make something with "no strings attached" by labeling it that way. lol That's like saying "we agreed on a 'no drama' relationship" -- okay, great. But you can't expect zero drama as time goes on just because you gave it a label.
 broccolina
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 15
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History
The L Word
Posted: 11/15/2009 6:18:43 PM
If he did develop feelings, then he is the exception to the rule. I read countless threads about how fun-time partner never turns into life-time and no FWB can ever grow into something meaningful. I think his insecurities got the best of him and was trying to wrap his head around the fact that you can have sex like a man.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 17
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The L Word
Posted: 11/15/2009 8:07:34 PM
I imagine after a year of a NSA relationship he was probably seeing if your view of the relationship has changed to love, which you answered him by your statement that, "You like him, and love what he does for you". That should of given him your position in the relationship, a NSA relationship still. He may be looking for someone and something more, someone who he feels loved by.
 ninjaeleven
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 18
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The L Word
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:59:41 PM
cause he loves you, NSA never works, people develop feelings and that's as it should be.
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