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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Dram      Home login  
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 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 3
Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Easy way to solve this. Arrange a pile of rocks in a secluded spot in the woods. Take your current girlfriend to the spot, and say, "You wanted to see my ex? This is where I buried her after our last argument. I'll be waiting in the car." Then walk away sweetly.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 4
Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!
Posted: 11/17/2009 9:50:33 AM
The only obligation I see that you have with your ex is when it comes to your kids...beyond that, neither your ex or your g/f have any business "needing" to have anything to do with each other. You're right...drama. It's obviously the type of women you choose. Good luck with that. Blah.
 oceaneyess
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 8
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Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!
Posted: 11/17/2009 10:23:36 AM
OP..It seems to me that the only reason your ex wants to meet your current girlfriend is to cause trouble. Why invite that? She sounds like an angry racist. Perhaps tell her that if she can grow up and behave like an adult,you would consider it..in a public place and by all means do not let their first meeting be in front of your children.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 9
Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!
Posted: 11/17/2009 11:39:29 AM
I'd stay the hell out of it.

I'd tell my current and my ex that if they want to pursue this...it will be without your blessing and/or involvement.

You see it going badly and unless the meeting show signs of an adult mutual relationship for the benefit of the children that are...unfortunetly...involve...that you have no interest in facilitating it.

Your current should know that you do not approve of your ex's comments and have articulated same.

Your ex should know that it is potentially destructive behaviors that could eventually negatively affect the children.

Time for everyone to grow up.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 10
Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!
Posted: 11/17/2009 11:52:21 AM
Let me take a wild guess...its your current gf who decided you should meet her exbf?

Regardless, let's see if I get this right. You dated a woman who likes to start drama. You have a gf now, who knows that drama will occur, but wants to meet so it will happen. Am I right so far? B/c that means you tend to go for women who cause drama to occur.

If that is a correct assumption, and your current gf knows what's coming...then she knows what she's asking for. you aren't really going to surprise her, nor owe her (she's an adult) protection from her own foolishness.

So the question is, what do YOU prefer--do you want to risk the relationship you have now, to avoid the drama of these two women meeting...or would you rather they meet, which may save your relationship FOR THE MOMENT?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 11
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Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!
Posted: 11/17/2009 12:14:48 PM
I'm staying out of the main argument here, too nutty for me. I DO want to point out one minor thing: the fact that you met HER ex, in no way obligates you to introduce her to YOUR ex.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 12
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Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!
Posted: 11/17/2009 12:43:28 PM
I see no positive outcome in this. I see no positive reason for it.

What is your gf's thinking - she wants to stir up stuff in order to satisfy her curiosity? Or does she have different reasons?

And yep, have to agree with the ever wise Igor... just because you met her ex does not mean she has to meet your ex.
Different circumstances.
 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 13
Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!
Posted: 11/17/2009 3:12:31 PM
Big drama. Wow.

Some advice. First, put your current GF in her place. All she is doing is manipulating you becuase she finds it funny and you pathetic.

Your ex sounds like a racist pig. I can't stand racist people, never could, they turn my stomach. Sadly, most of the most outspoken racists I've met lately were black. Some were so disgusting in their opinions that they were hard to even be in the room with - and I CERTAINLY would never invite someone home with that attitude.

Me, I'm white, my ex was black spanish, and she never acted like that, but people rarly thought of me and her, an old redneck white guy and a spanish newyourican from the Bronx and to hear them talk about her... I just thought she was a beautiful spanish lady, they seemed to think otherwise. Not everyone, mind you... the worst and most disgusting comments all came from black people. It was hard after that to talk to black folks, knowing how they feel about white people, and hearing the comments and anger and hate and murderous comments. I wasn't raised that way, and it still shocks me.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 19
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Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!
Posted: 11/19/2009 2:24:36 AM
While I don't necessarily think that them meeting is the best idea, I can see your girlfriend's point of view. If you two are a serious couple (and after all, you two live together), then it makes sense for her to meet anyone who plays a significant part in your life because you two are sharing your lives together. If you want to continue any kind of relationship with your ex beyond picking up the kids and talking about parenting issues, then you should be trying to see your girlfriend's point of view, and support her feelings in this. Your loyalty is with her now. Be clear on that. Express that to her and reassure her that this is the case. And if you have a part in making this happen, do it sincerely.

Now, just because you and your girlfriend would want this meeting to go ahead, that does NOT mean that your ex has any obligation to meet her. If she chooses not to, then it is reasonable that you will become less close to her as friends(eg. texting you about your girlfriend, etc . has nothing to do with your shared parenting responsibilities. You cannot continue a friendship with someone who refuses to accept your girlfriend. Plain and simple. So let the ex go. Anyone who is incapable of acting civil to the person you choose to be your partner in life is not a true friend, as a real friend is looking out for your best interests because they care about you. Your girlfriend should not be expected to be very open to the ex, given the insults and bad mouthing (abuse) she's already taken unless your ex makes a concerted effort to apologize to her.

If your ex does want to continue to be in your life (aside from parenting), then she should agree to meet, and you can facilitate the whole thing. Try a double date where the ex brings someone too, for something quick and casual. Lunch in a public place should be fine.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 21
Current girlfriend keep insisting on meeting my ex...Drama Drama Drama!!!
Posted: 11/19/2009 1:04:35 PM
They both seem to be acting like children to me.

Tell them that you will be glad to introduce them to each other once they grow up.
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