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Show ALL Forums  > Oregon  > Take it slow or meet the person right away?      Home login  
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 Altair_4
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 1
Take it slow or meet the person right away?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I tend to be cautious when it comes to meeting someone I don't know or haven't met before- yes, that means the internet. Let's face it,, there are lots of creepers on the web and many who are probably up to no good. I'm wondering how many women went off to meet someone and have wound up missing or on a milk carton? You should insist on meeting in a public place of course. We have all heard this. I had one person who wanted to meet me in a dog park. That didn't seem too public to me so I said I'd rather get to know a bit about him first via emails or maybe a phone call. He became irate, chewed me out and then blocked me. My question is how soon do you want to meet someone? Are you one to take it a bit slow or just jump in there? Ladies? Gents? What is your opinion?
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 2
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Take it slow or meet the person right away?
Posted: 11/17/2009 6:38:39 PM
If this guy became upset because you wanted to know more about him before meeting in person, and suggested any place that made you uncomfortable, then you should trust your instincts!

Think about it this way - even if he isn't some nutcase, the fact that he is so touchy that a simple request to take things a little slower would send him into a tirade would tell me that this is not the type of person I would want to build a long term relationship with anyway! Chalk it up to one of those frogs that we all have to kiss before finding our prince.

As for me, I like to have at least a couple of emails, and enough phone calls that I kmow some background before meeting someone. And - I totally agree that a dog park is not a "public place" for a first meeting. After all it could be you and the dog! Go for a restaurant, coffee shop, fast food restaurant, etc. You can always choose to take the dogs for a walk later if coffee goes well!
 2bornot2be2
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 3
Take it slow or meet the person right away?
Posted: 11/22/2009 2:38:08 PM
It's far too easy online, and even over the phone, to be the person you want to be, or the person you are talking to wants you to be. Seeing and talking to someone face to face will eliminate much of that fantasy world behavior. So, after a few e-mails and maybe a phone conversation, just meet the person for goodness sakes! And concerning safety? This is Oregon and one can't throw a rock without hitting a Starbucks.

Why the rush? You are going to find out that the photo they posted was 10 years old, 30 pounds lighter and or the one picture ever taken of them that made them look attractive eventually anyway, so why waste anymore precious life than necessary?

(for what it's worth......and I may be the exception?...... I am just as fat, old and (un)attractive in person as my photos suggest)
 ChristopherBrooks
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 4
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Take it slow or meet the person right away?
Posted: 11/29/2009 12:42:57 AM
I agree with most people who replied, trust your instincts. If you had a good conversation the first time then if you feel comfortable with a date then definetly go out you really don't want to spend a week getting to know someone only to meet them and find that your really not into them for more than friendship
 Gemguy
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 5
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Take it slow or meet the person right away?
Posted: 12/28/2009 1:05:13 AM
/delurking
Wildoutdoorguy,
You might try going to a christian dating site or jewishsingles or any faith centered dating sites. You'll find testimonials to the marriages that have come about through the couples meeting on the site. Since those folks are perhaps more traditional in their faith (like yourself) they sought marriage at a means to an end. I know of two couples that met on the internet and ended up married (still are years later). They weren't even on dating sites to boot. BTW, I'm not recommending you leave here - just that the "proof' that you ask for, might be present there. I would also add that meeting anyone IRL is just as rife with failure as meeting on the web.

Back to the OP:
Email awhile (weeks?) and if it seems like you might have some fun then exchange numbers and meet in a public place. Be sure to carry concealed and practice center mass shots before hand to stay sharp. Oh, and be sure to stay on any medications so you won't hear any "voices". I'm here to help.
Take care,
Gemguy

/Relurk
 Gemguy
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 6
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Take it slow or meet the person right away?
Posted: 12/28/2009 3:46:51 PM
/Delurk

W.O.G.,
I could generally only get away with that posting in concealed carry states like OR and WA.
Glad it made you laugh.
Gemguy

/Relurk
 2bornot2be2
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 7
Take it slow or meet the person right away?
Posted: 12/28/2009 6:10:16 PM
Take a look at the "success stories" section of this website. It does happen, believe it or not. However, take a good look at the photos of the successful couples. You won't see a total knock out (man or woman) with an average or less than average person. In fact, the couples look pretty evenly matched. On a scale of 1 to 10, you'll see 5's with 5's, 3's with 3's, etc.

I suspect the people who have success on a site, such as POF, are the realists. They have no delusions about who they are, and just as importantly, about who they wish to meet. And as a general rule, many were not on this site long (as in not years) before the met their mate.

We could all (myself included) learn something from these successful people, I think.
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