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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 2
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?) Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I always read profiles top to bottom, and I always send messages of substance that say what attracted me & what I think we might have in common. And I'm always respectful -- no overt sexual messaging to someone whose name I don't even know!

But, hey, that's just me and how I think things ought to be conducted. Your mileage, as they say, may vary.
 *november babee*
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 3
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/19/2009 3:57:55 AM
alot of guys dont read profiles, but then i would say the same is probably true about alot of women too...

i must say your profile is quite long, and guys may get so far down and then just scan the rest, if you are only or mostly getting messages about your pictures and not much else, maybe try hiding your pics and only send them/show them if you find a guy you are interested in....?

i guess at least if you get a first message that is quite lame and pathetic you know early on they arnt gonna be the right one for you.. i would pay more attention to the ones that take YOUR interest enough for you to send them a message and not so much the ones who cant string more that 4 words together....

i read most of the profile if i find the pictures attractive, but some of them are more like War and Peace than a profile, and just as heavy going, but then in that case i would probably not bother sending a message in the first place......
 Ozyman85
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 5
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/19/2009 6:06:50 AM
I don't think I've ever seen a profile that doesn't start with "I'm shy at first, but warm up and become funny blah blah blah." So what's the point?
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 6
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/19/2009 7:24:04 AM
I figure it's not just men that do this, but since that is my main experience, yea a lot of men do this. I even list on my profile some of the things that will not get a response from me. So this week a guy who fit most of my listed "no response" criteria messeged me. He even stated he had messeged me before(he hadn't) and hadn't received any response so he figured he would try again?

So it's not just that SOME don't read a profile, some don't even now who they messege. I guess it's a filter for reading comprehension skills and a person's ability to remember details.
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/19/2009 12:36:14 PM

DON'T SEND ME NO BULLSH*T MESSAGES!

those who read are obliging you. they're not sending you messages.

be careful what you ask for.
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 10
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/19/2009 8:38:55 PM
I always read them. But I wouldn't read yours... unless I had an entire weekend to kill
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 13
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/20/2009 8:16:55 AM
I do read profiles in their entirety and I know that there are a lot of other men that do as well(And I also know that a lot of women that don't, as very few of the women who have responded to my messages or initiated with me had not really read my profile).

However, I really can't sympathize with anyone that complains about others not being able to meet their own pompous and entitled expectations, at all. Nature forbids that you actually spend some of your own time and invest yourself into the conversations you take part of. Seriously, if you don't like how the conversation is going, than for Christ sakes just take control of it instead of pouting and sneering.

If you all crave substance, why not just let it happen naturally? Talk back, respond to even the most basic of greetings and see where it leads, that's how it starts. People aren't going to spend a lot of effort on substance without some sort of mutual rapport, especially not when the person they are talking to isn't even willing to meet them half way for it(or even come close to it).
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 14
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/20/2009 5:52:19 PM
Well partially, just speaking to my own experience. They read the stuff in the about me, and definitely sometimes just write because of the pics (it IS obvious...egad) what some seem to skip is the status or looking for.

Not complaining at all on my part, I get many emails nothing more than....that's one of the funniest things I've ever read, or thanks for the belly laugh. I DO reply and thank then for taking the time to drop me a note. It's fairly obvious my profile(s) are for fun...but yes it's great that someone will just write you to thank you for a good laugh.

I'm outside of the norm...in more ways than one, and whichever over the top profile I have posted, it's gratifying to know that it gave someone else a great giggle.

My profile(s) really are me, the people I talk to or meet it's rare I have more than 2 minutes into a phone call there's not a laugh.

But it's because that works for me...can't be interested or attracted to a man that I can't laugh with and sometimes you...or me...if a man's laugh is sexy, attractive....I'm done, poke me with a fork.
 Mr.Versatility
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 17
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/21/2009 7:15:00 AM
This shouldnt be gender specific, and I wonder how many people are being true to themselves, but I dont always read the whole profile, sometimes theres just too much to read, and if someone interest me enough I will take the time to read, but for the most part if you're not attracted to the person you move on to the next... Women do tis with men as well, I dont care how many say that looks dont matter and such, THEY DO!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 18
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:30:21 PM
On the bright side, you know very quickly you can discard the messages from so many such guys.
Women are bound to get far more guys in a rush, than guys who think things through and read carefully, simply because the guys in a rush type faster.
Also, you have to figure that the THOUGHTFUL guys, who read your profile carefully, are going to weed THEMSELVES out before contacting you. Only the few who actually think they are compatible with you and vice versa will write. Thus, you are mathematically bound to get a ton of thoughtless guys, and only a tiny few of the thoughtful ones.
It doesn't mean there aren't plenty of guys out here who read profiles, it's just that the ones who HAVE read your profile so far, who are close enough to think about contacting you, haven't decided to yet for what ever standard reason people have for such.
 Gina-Gina74
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 29
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/24/2009 11:39:28 AM
here is my take on this topic:

While there are those who may read a profile, the norm:

1. they cannot read
2. they are dyslexic
3. they have a serious reading comprehension barrier
4. simply plain rude.
 Opusvoid
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 31
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/26/2009 11:49:18 AM
I generally make a habit of reading the profile. Why? because first and foremost it's the personality that will attract me, not how the girl looks.

My problem is I hand out kudos to plenty off girls and get nothing in return. I'm not some sick perv or an ass. I generally point out pretty nice things and try to get to know them even better. It's not like I try to push relationship on every girl I talk to, but I still get shut out for some odd reason. I think it's because to many people like to assume things about me without actually getting to know me first....it's sad really.
 Nightfall301
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 32
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/26/2009 10:35:17 PM
I seem to be one of the minority, as well. I not only read the woman's profile, but the Chemistry Results and Relationship Needs, if they've bothered with them.
By the same token, I've already been bombarded with the "unread/deleted" quite relentlessly. And still I send messages. I just don't send very many... with the prolific presence of women's profiles amounting to "I'm a simple, easygoing, laid-back kinda girl".
With a profile like that, and the obligatory cleavage photo, is it any wonder they get garbage sent to them electronically.
I think a lot of this can be explained by our educational system. Even in my childhood, the "homies" placed some sort of stigma on literacy, and would berate and belittle those who sought knowledge... those who sought to be better than the dogs running loose in the streets. They, and their parents, were basically handed control of our educational system when "no child left behind" was started. So, as bad as it may seem now, you've only seen the tip of the iceberg. Now we're producing an entire generation who don't want to go to the effort of spelling whole words, or of using punctuation or capitalization. I say congratulations - we've discovered how to reverse evolution.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 33
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/27/2009 2:34:49 PM
My friends describe me as blah, blah, blah, blah. I want a man that makes me laugh and blah, blah, blah.

Why not just say, I want a man that loves my cliches, worships how great and awesome I am but since I do not fall for guys that kiss my butt, he tread me bad, plays me, then dumps me so I can put that line, no playas, which off course, attracts more playas.

So face it, all men are evil. Hahahahaha.

 TimothyEL
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 34
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/27/2009 8:24:51 PM
I will admit that I look at the pics first. if I like what I see I read the whole profile. When i respond I try to always use something from the profile in my response.
 spunkybum52
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 36
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/27/2009 9:36:42 PM
I think sometimes they do and sometimes they don't, however the majority of men that contact me always tell me "read your profile.....etc"......so I do think they read it. However again, having said that, on this site and other sites, I clearly write in capital letters that I don't have a pic on the site, and if you want to see a pic, contact me with email details, etc. This site is not so bad, but other sites are terrible for that. I get the automated replies and winks that say "post a pic" or "I'd like to see a pic"... etc. I can't believe how many times I say that I don't put pics on here or other sites, and if you want a pic, send me your contact details. So sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. I get a lot of responses from specific things that I put on my profile, so I guess they do read it.

Some guys just message because they think they will just take a chance anyway and say hi. I know it's a nuisance, but I think on sites like this you just have to put up with it.
 Doughboy1st
Joined: 8/4/2009
Msg: 37
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/27/2009 9:50:36 PM
The most intelligent post on this topic... thank you TuffLuv1984 !
Just for the record I always read the profile...
 Opusvoid
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 42
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/29/2009 6:41:30 PM
Silentman73....dude...you took the words right out of my mouth, mate :)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 43
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/30/2009 8:03:52 PM
I recently got a message from a guy who said he liked my profile and mentioned that we had a lot in common. I asked him what specifically we had in common. He responded asking how he would know this without talking to me to find out. Can you say cut and paste?
 Opusvoid
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 44
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Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 11/30/2009 9:47:28 PM
womaninprogress - you know what the sad part about that is...I actually read the profile and will give a responce and then list off the things I have in common with them, but still get blown off anyway. I would date an older woman, but I'd feel a little awkward in the search. Most girls my age are just frustraiting the hell out of me lol.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 46
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 12/2/2009 8:20:47 PM
what IS the point in writing huge long messages just to have them ignored .

1. Most women don't ask for long drawn out messages. What they ask for over and over are messages that aren't generic. If a woman feels like she's one of 30 women getting the same thing, she's going to ignore the message. All you need to do is write a couple sentences. If that's too long for you then you're either too lazy to make an effort here, or you're not very literate, neither of which is going to be a loss.

2. The point of reading the profile is to find out whether or not (realistically) you should bother sending a message based on her information. If you choose not to read a profile and would rather send messages based on pics, it's more of a crapshoot, you will obviously get a lower response rate. The odd thing is it saves more time reading a profile than it does messaging without reading it as you send less in the first place to people who aren't a match.

3. The point of reading profiles and writing based on what you read is so that when you DO catch a woman's eye you have a profile (assuming it's a good read) and a decent message to go with it. If you think looks are ALL it takes to get a response, you're wrong - women tend to like a combination of pics, profile and message. That 1 out of 10 that does like you likely won't care if after your pics there's nothing else going on.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 47
Do ANY Men Read Profiles (First or at all?)
Posted: 12/3/2009 7:03:43 AM
^^^If y'all do it, why would you complain that women do the same? Unlike a lot of men though, we don't stop there. We actually look to see what's beyond it. What's your point?

If a woman does find you attractive, your attitude could be what turns her off. If that's ok with you, then keep doing what you're doing.

Weren't you moving out of the US to date foreign women anyway?
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