Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > he likes you he likes you not      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Elisabeth77303
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 1
he likes you he likes you notPage 1 of 1    
just curious what does it mean when someone tells you that he has huge feelings for you and that he is totally into you . He is attracted to you in so many ways. He wants you in his life. He enjoys you. The same person tells you not to long after , that he cannot concentrate on you now and he does not wanna worry about you and that he is sorry that you will get hurt you came at a wrong time into his life. Without knowing more details it is probably not easy to answer but that is all I have. Thank you I appreciate your thoughts.
 somethingaboutJ
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:36:37 PM
Sorry Elisabeth, I also have a thread posted on here about a similar situation with me. Basically, you can't force anyone to like or love you. Even though he is sending mixed signals, there is nothing you can do about it. Hope you find someone who has it together and knows that they want you without flip-flopping their emotions. Best of luck to you!
 Elisabeth77303
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 3
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:40:19 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX9brTqUrss Jason Mraz - "You and I both"
You can find this song on "The Tube"
 somethingaboutJ
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 4
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:45:31 PM
Thanks Elisabeth, I will check it out. You sound sincere and I appreciate that a lot!
 somethingaboutJ
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 5
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 10:53:25 PM
Saw it, heard it, feel your pain. We just have to keep our head up, pull our pants up a little higher, and move on with our hearts. May God bless with with all of life's riches.
 Elisabeth77303
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 6
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 11:10:49 PM
Thank you for your kind words. May God bless you too. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" Ps 51:17
 MOTORCYCLEMAN4U
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 7
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 11:18:23 PM
I am so sorry it soundes like he was using you. Better luck next time weren't all like him good luck to you.
 somethingaboutJ
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 8
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 11:20:12 PM
Just want to say one thing. When I first was replying to you, I thought you were younger, early to mid 20's. I did look at your profile pixs, and dam girl, any guy would be lucky to have you his girl. You should have no problem finding a man, you are beautiful and any guy would be lucky to call you his girl. Wishing you the best, J
 demondingleberry
Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 9
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 11:36:49 PM

just curious what does it mean

It means he was telling you what he thought you wanted to hear.

He either:
1) saw you as representing something he idealizes
2) saw you as having the ability to offer him something he idealizes
3) saw you as a means to obtain what he idealizes (an extension of himself or his self image)

And then he either:
1) got what he wanted and didn't feel the need to pay you with talk anymore as the transaction was completed.
2) realized he was being dishonest about who he was or his intentions to possibly use you and tried to get out of it in a socially acceptable way that means no judgments on him or doubt placed on the veracity of him seeing himself as "good." With the potential possibility of him returning and trying again.
3) realized that you needed more than just words to give him what he wanted and he wasn't ready, capable, or desiring to behaviorally pay more than that to you.

*(getting what he wanted means more than just physical gratification. Men need emotional, social, and mental validation just as much as women)

Those are my thoughts.

Thank you I appreciate your thoughts.

You're welcome.
 WackMC
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 10
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 11:37:17 PM
Egad...women are constantly asking for men to tell them what they feel. And when a man tells a woman how he feels, if it's anything other than "I love you" she asks "what did he mean?"

I think he meant that he cannot concentrate on you now and that he is sorry that you will get hurt you came at a wrong time into his life.

Pretty damn clear. It means bugger off. And he already apologized.
 Elisabeth77303
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 11
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/20/2009 11:38:21 PM
Thank you very much.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 12
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 12:05:40 AM
Dating and getting to know one another can be
a bit tricky, can't it, Elisabeth? :)
One thing I really like about men is their pragmatic
approach to things. Take his words at face value, and
don't take it personally .
It is always best to be authentic- with our words, actions, etc.
If we don't allow ourselves the honesty of knowing
that we aren't with the person who gives us joy, then we
cannot open our hearts and minds to the one
who does.
All the best
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 13
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 12:50:50 AM
Sure he may “say” (with words) that he has strong feelings for you but, given those words and his actions, what do you really hear him actually saying?

Based on what you heard and WHEN you heard it, you will be able to get a good idea of where the relationship is heading…

In what you said, him saying that he is attracted to you means just THAT “he is attracted to you” as I can tell you sure do look very appealing, he obviously has good taste! :)

Him telling you that he wants you in his life but cannot concentrate on you now means just that too, “he thinks you are beautiful but does not want to take the time to date you”.

That’s it that’s all, nothing more complicate than that; sure is easy when an outsider takes a look at it, isn’t it!
 kornbluth
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 14
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 1:40:05 AM

...he has huge feelings for you and that he is totally into you... that he cannot concentrate on you now and he does not wanna worry about you and that he is sorry that you will get hurt you came at a wrong time into his life.

This would be a pattern for the future--if there is a future, and for your sake I hope there isn't. If it's "a wrong time" in his life, he had no business spewing out the romantic prelude.
 Foxi Pavement
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 15
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 2:09:10 AM
he sounds like he is married if you came at a wrong time, another woman or the unlikely story he rather pursue his job? he sounds fickle...and seems like he wants everything he can get...
 LD44
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 16
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:12:21 AM
he is being honest about being fckd up and delirious in the old noggin. be glad he left why waste more time, just say good riddins do not even waste your time being a friend.
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 17
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:16:57 AM
Sounds to me like he's emotionally unavailable, he may say the pretty flattering words but he's backing off for whatever reason. Don't even try to analyze what's going on, you will drive yourself nuts. I hope you did not give too much of your heart to him.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 18
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:22:04 AM
Elisabeth,
Its natural to be upset over a loss. Its not something that anyone wants. There is too many factors as to why he was one time attracted and then wanting out of a relationship. Just remember many men come from disfunctional families and and other learn that men shouldnt be sensative and emotional, our society teaches this to men. He may be playing out a drama that is related to childhood which you had a star role playing in. A man that talk and share his thoughts and emotions with you, has a better chance at a LTR. This person you speak of doesnt show that potential.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 19
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 5:38:49 AM
I live inside a male head as well. I do find that from inside my head, that I see an entire world at all times, including both the outer, factual world I live in, and the imaginary future world I wish for. Emotions have a great deal of influence over that future world. When things are going well, the and my emotions are in a smooth place, the future looks WONDERFUL...if you were my girlfriend, I would likely say that you are the magic in my life that is making that future so rosey. At another time, when my car breaks down, my house heat fails, my ex-wife makes new demands on my income, my children get sick, my employment livelyhood is threatened by an economy devastated by rich people trying to cheat to get richer, I might turn to you in despair and say "you came to me at the wrong time in my life."
It's possible he was intoxicated with you at first, has woken up the 'next day,' and realized that his earlier protestations of love were just so many drunken delusions. It's also possible that he is giving true, moment to moment descriptions of his emotional vista. He COULD be a "user," as someone said, purposely lying to get you in bed.
Based on my own experience, and depending on the exact timing of your interactions together, my guess would be that this is a fairly common sequence, wherein the guy falls for you, in love (which I've pointed out elsewhere, is just an emotional reaction inside the person feeling it, and nothing more); some time goes by, and he starts to panic, as he recognizes that, as is always true, that actually building a life together with someone is a very difficult and complicated enterprise. He'll have to make tons of changes in his life to adjust to it, and (especially if he has another FAILED such effort in his past), he'll take two steps back, and say what he said to you later.
Car salesmen call this phenomenon Buyer's Remorse. It does not NECESSARILY mean he's a bad person, or a weak person. Only time can tell if he makes full adjustment, weighs your value to him, and overcomes his panic. Only time will tell if YOU can trust him as he changes his mind back and forth, or if you can stand the vacillating emotional pain it puts you through.
Sorry I can't say for sure what he is really thinking, or what he will finally do.
 petebelongs
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 20
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:13:02 AM
OP, it means that he sampled the goods and even though you look great and perhaps were great, he has come to decide that you are unstable and he no longer wants anything to do with you! Keep fishing woman.
 OpenHeart928
Joined: 10/12/2009
Msg: 21
view profile
History
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:47:44 AM
Sounds like a man who does not mean what he says, doesn't talk straight, tickles your ears to get what he wants, is flighty and unreliable, is insincere and maybe even a player who used you as a stepping stone to someone/something better.

Count your blessings. Someone better awaits.
 jbrisbane
Joined: 11/18/2009
Msg: 22
he likes you he likes you not
Posted: 11/21/2009 6:55:54 AM
Few things could be going on, I could venture:

1. He has commitment problems, which are really emotional problems due to fear of abandonment.

2. He is depressed or otherwise in bad shape and is pushing you away.

Either way I would say he needs time to grow and heal. He can't do that in a relationship or rather it is really tricky to do so.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > he likes you he likes you not