Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Mandatory DNA tests at birth?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ValkyrieHJR
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 4
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?Page 1 of 150    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Aaamm, Matariki was married when she had her children. That does not necessarily stop the father from saying the child is not his. There are a lot of men out there that are afraid of the commitment that a child means to a relationship and all the changes that come along with it. So they fall into the age old excuse that the baby couldn't be his and she must have cheated on him.

As far as the DNA testing goes, I am not sure how I feel about that. I think that it's almost too much government involvement. And an invasion of privacy. I have the same views about prenups. Things like that are saying that the worst is guaranteed going to happen and it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy.
 AU 4 U
Joined: 10/22/2009
Msg: 5
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/21/2009 10:27:36 PM
I've been sniped, permanently serialized, had 2 (two) different girlfriends tell me that they got pregnant. One actually was the other just wanted money for a late procedure and never provided the proof that she was pregnant. BOTH times I had myself rechecked for swimmers, NEGATIVE RESULTS.

The laws in CANADA state that child support will be granted as that is in the child's best interest. The MAN must prove himself not to be the father, and sometimes it takes a court order served to the mother of the child to have this provided. During this process the man MUST provide the child support, otherwise there can be garnishes, suspended drivers licences, seizures of bank accounts, assets to be disposed of ETC!!

All of this may take up to 2 years to prove paternity, @ a min of $650. per month.

It is the up to the man to counter claim damages due to the occurred costs, and HE must pay for the DNA test AND the lawyer up front.

How the HELL is a guy supposed to collect from a single mom, that is on child support, the base amount of $15,600.???????

I say YES to mandatory DNA testing.
 Notdesper8atall
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 6
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/21/2009 10:31:31 PM
Sticky question.. But I really dont seem the harm in it if everyone has to do it. I fail to see how it would be a "goverment issue " to take a test to prove or disprove paternity. It would take all the arguments out of the equation. As a father I am all for it.

You buy insurance to protect your house your car and your life.... Do you realize that when you buy that insurance you are gambling with the insurance company? They bet that the worst isn't going to happen and you are betting that it will. A prenup is the same thing.. insurance. There are no self-fufilling phropecy's unless you chose to let them be.
 AU 4 U
Joined: 10/22/2009
Msg: 7
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/21/2009 10:57:37 PM
"Notdesper8atall"
Prenups don't mean a thing when it come to 'Quality of life PROVIDED'. All the judge will look at is WHAT the environment was that the child was living in and level a judgment for support in regards to the quality lifestyle (In Canada).
 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 8
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 12:46:19 AM
But I don't think denial of paternity is so common EVERY child needs an expensive DNA test. It happens often enough, but is still not the norm.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 9
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 2:09:04 AM
Oppose.
Oppose.
Oppose.
Oppose.
Oppose.


Message too short.
Oppose.
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 10
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 4:10:32 AM
Maybe if the dad is denying the child he should have to pay for one at birth. Or if the parents are both unsure the cost should be split right down the middle. I know I was explaining to the nurses at my hospital that my son's dad was denying him and they said if I wanted to he could come pay for a DNA test and they'd have the results back in a couple days.

If he's denying the child before it's ever born it would be hard to get him to come up there and witness the birth/get a dna test at birth though. Why would someone show up for the birth of a child they don't think is theirs?
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 4:14:09 AM
Women hate DNA testing...as they should i guess..Momma's baby and Daddy's maybe doesn't apply anymore
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 12
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 4:59:53 AM
Not all women hate DNA testing. I welcomed one. If you didn't sleep around you have nothing to hide.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 5:17:56 AM

If you didn't sleep around you have nothing to hide.
Simply because you have nothing to hide doesn't mean that you would be accepting of a DNA test to prove parentage.

It's a degrading, debasing ploy used by men that don't want to take responsibility at the dissolution of a relationship for the product of that relationship.

I'm opposed to arbitrary DNA testing... if the father doesn't want the child, why force this on him? I personally wouldn't want to learn that my father only took responsibility for me after it was proven beyond a doubt that I was his child... that's not a parent... being a parent is an honour and priviledge, not a duty that has to be imposed.
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 14
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 5:26:58 AM

if the father doesn't want the child, why force this on him?


There are many cases where the father wanted the child at first, then changes his tune when she gets pregnant or has the baby. Mine is such a case. It should not fall on the mother in these cases to provide solely for the child just because the sperm donor changed his mind. That's not fair to the mother or the child. The child has a right to be supported. Now I can understand if the father says he never wanted the child in the first place and the mom continues the pregnancy anyways, but not if he is all hunky-dorey about it then changes his mind when he sees how much work/responsibility is involved.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 5:43:36 AM
Im a little leery about the government, or anyone for that matter, having my DNA on file somewhere. Maybe Ive watched too many conspiracy shows and episodes of Fringe but still.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 5:53:28 AM
I dated an ER nurse for about a year. She worked deliveries from time to time also for C-sections or if there were other problems, but it was not her normal place of work. Despite it not being here normal duty assignment, during the year we dated she was present for two births were the race of the baby was not a match for husband and wife. The not the daddies were not happy about this, but at least they knew, that they were not the father of the child just by looking. She told me one of the husband took several photos and told the new mom, your not come home and I am keeping my kids, but you can have this one. The mom just started to cry. Busted! Have to think that there are lots and lots of dads bring up kids that are not there kids. Have to be lots paying child support for kids that are not there children as well. Yes, DNA testing should be mandatory. The biological father should have the exact same rights that the biological mother has from the time of the birth. Also the none biological parent should have zero obligations to support a child that is not their child. The only real way to make that happen would to be with DNA testing done at day one.
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 18
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 6:20:14 AM
The not the daddies were not happy about this, but at least they knew, that they were not the father of the child just by looking.


Sorry, but DNA can be funny sometimes. You can't tell if a child is someones or not just by their skin color AT BIRTH. My brother came out and looked like he was half white, half black, his skin was WAYYYYY darker then any of my other brothers and sisters, in fact he very much resembled a monkey (no offense to anyone, lol) My dad tried to pull the "He's not mine" crap until my grandma (dad's mom) looked at him and said "Are u stupid? That kid looks exactly like u did when u were born" He never denied him again, my brother lightened up over time and is now the spitting image of my dad.

My own son came out darker then some babies, people would ask me if he was mixed. He is not, both myself and his father are white with no black/mexican in our families, but my son has more of an olive color to his skin, so I guess that's what makes people think he's mixed.

My late Uncle Pat looked like he had a permanent tan, yet my grandma and grandpa are both white with again, no other races in our immediate family when my brother, son and uncle were born. (I'm talking grandma, grandpa, great-grandma and grandpa, and even great-great-grandma and grandpa)

Judging whether or not a kid is yours by skin color at birth is ridiculous. That's the same thing as saying he's not yours cause he doesn't have your nose, eyes, etc. Newborns can be all different colors, hell if you were in a womb full of fluid for 9 months then had to be squished down a birth canal u might look kinda funny too.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 6:21:46 AM

The child has a right to be supported.
Many children are supported just fine in a single parent household. I have no problem providing the necessities of life for my children as well as many perks. If you want the money grab, fine... but don't pretty it up with things like daddy and such. Any man that denies being a child's father is not the daddy and has forfeit the right to be in that child's life.

Our children deserve more than to be forced on someone that doesn't want them... I for one want my children and happily support them.

As for the expense... if you want this done, then pick up the expense yourself... again, don't foist it off on our public health care system. I believe that this can be done for anywhere from 3 to 5k.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 6:35:40 AM
My girlfriend that was there told me it was clear to every one in the room that the race of the children was not the race of the parents that were in the room. I.E. the two kids were black, parents in the room were white (even if the dad was not a new parent). So black in fact that the one father took photos to using as proof. It is possible to know if a child is mixed race at birth, but maddatory DNA testing could make it 100% or as close to it as we can get. I agree that skin color can be different at birth, but it is still possible to see clear differences in race at the time of birth also.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 7:02:49 AM

The mother need not be dna tagged at all so the argument against privacy is moot. I mean it must be hers, right? It is also beneficial for the mothers that if they do need to seek child support that a match has already been established.


Umm... My child has half my DNA so there would still be a familial match.


As for the skin colour of a child at birth issue...

I have seen almost white babies born to black parents, dark dark skinned babies born to the blondest/blue eyed parents. Genetics are strange things and hide until they want to appear and give your child green eyes when everyone for 3 generations on both side have had brown.

My daughter has beautiful olive toned skin. I happen to be white as a ghost (but with some native background), her father was half Jamaican, but most people assume she is part Latino.

Plus skin and eye pigments continue to change until the child is about 2-3. A lot of black children are born lighter then their parents and slowly darken.
 Notdesper8atall
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 23
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 8:40:07 AM
"Notdesper8atall
Prenups don't mean a thing when it come to 'Quality of life PROVIDED'. All the judge will look at is WHAT the environment was that the child was living in and level a judgment for support in regards to the quality lifestyle (In Canada). "


Don't know about canada but here in the states provisions for children in a prenup "are" put in place and a judge here wouldn't neccessarily overturn one unless something extrodinary happeend in terms of the financial situation. Alot of the lawyers I know love to see prenups. Many of them like the fact that they dont have far to look to find loopholes to find paydays for their clients.

OT I dont buy the big government arguement on DNA testing. If they want it they will get it and you wouldnt actually know it if they had, but do you really think that your that high on a secret list somewhere? Perhaps you watch too much television..lol.


I still dont understand why you wouldnt want to "protect" your childs right to know who is or isn't their biological parent. If it is done for everyone then there is no discrimination .
 ValkyrieHJR
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 24
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 8:43:00 AM
Freetime, I hate to say it but it almost seems like you are saying that every mom out there that has multiple children is cheating on their husband and that at least one of the kids is not the husbands. And if that is the case, I am truly sorry for what ever happened to hurt you so much, but it must have been major, to make you so bitter.

In the meantime, really, this is just asking for the relationship to fail. If the parentage is questionable, that's a different story, but honestly. "I love you honey and I trust you, but hey, I just want to make sure."

It's just like a prenup......"Hey honey I love you and I trust you and I am sure you are not marrying me for my money or property, but just in case, here sign this for me, just to make sure."

And it's not that my DNA would be on file. Or that it would be kept on file. But I don't think the government has any place trying to make sure a child really belongs to the parents. That is too much government in our daily lives. It is not the government's business to make sure spouses are not cheating on each other, that is personal.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 9:10:16 AM
DNA testing should be used anytime a man has doubts,there is no reason for a man to be with a woman who has cheated on him and attempted to deceive him into raising her other man's child...such deception is without any legitimate defence...except with the guilty of course.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 9:37:14 AM
"Freetime, I hate to say it but it almost seems like you are saying that every mom out there that has multiple children is cheating on their husband and that at least one of the kids is not the husbands. And if that is the case, I am truly sorry for what ever happened to hurt you so much, but it must have been major, to make you so bitter."

Valkyriehjr are you high? Were did I say every mom out there that has multiple children is cheating on thier husbands? If your not high what made you think that? dare I say bitter lol.

Fact is at least some women are cheating on their husbands, I know this for a fact and I am glad that they do. Just one more reason for mandatory DNA tests.
 Notdesper8atall
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 31
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 11:48:24 AM
"I don't think he was trying to say we are all sleeping around on our men therefore we need DNA testing.
I am a mom and I see no harm in it at all and I cannot see how that would effect the relationship. If it is something that is put into place and everyone has to do it, then its not personal anymore, its just standard. Just like many of the other tests they do to our babies when they are born.
Lets look at it a different way, not about if the father is indeed the father, but why not look at it as insurance for the hospital to ensure they did not mix up the babies? I mean, it happens, and more often then you would think. If the DNA test was put into place, it would save the heartache of parents to find out that the hospital made a mistake.
Just a thought. "


Yes exactly my point.
 WesternWildRose
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 3:20:34 PM
All 3 of my daughters appear to be Caucasian... my youngest has big blue eyes.... and I am asked constantly if I am their nanny.

They are indeed mixed-race. Their father is blonde, blue-eyed, 6' Scots....as you can see by my pic.... I am of South Asian ancestry.

I don't see the point in DNA testing to be common and manditory...imagine the volume of tests...and the greater incidence for error..... or the need for more For Profit instant labs popping up everywhere.

If there is a doubt about paternity....then get tested... an it is not an outrageous cost here in Canada.
I know when my kids were born that I had to fill out the forms and declare what info I wanted to list on the birth certificate...such as the Surname for the child...and the Father's name if I chose to list it.... I guess some pple don't know.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 35
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 3:21:50 PM

Oppose.
Oppose.
Oppose.
Oppose.
Oppose.


Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?

I think it's a great idea.

For those who think it's an invasion of privacy or that the government will get involved, so what? Very little is private anymore anyway, and there is no reason the government has to be involved at all except to issue a birth certificate.

Why not?

I think it's a way of keeping everyone honest, reduces the possibility of the father finding out years later that a kid is not his, and serves to make sure that the proper DNA match can be had if a kid has a medical issue.

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 36
Mandatory DNA tests at birth?
Posted: 11/22/2009 3:46:33 PM
But I don't think denial of paternity is so common EVERY child needs an expensive DNA test. It happens often enough, but is still not the norm.


When it becomes mandatory, the cost will drop to next to $0.00. They already do blood tests and other tests on newborns.

And, conservative estimates put the percentage of "uncertain" paternity (I prefer paternity fraud) between 4-10% of kids born each year in North America. That's about 200,000/year....

.. which seems fairly significant to me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternity_fraud

(Sorry about the Wikipedia link, but there are other sources at the bottom. I couldn't find the other links I had at one time)





vvvv this would only be an issue for the first 20 years or so after inception, wouldn't it? Everyone's DNA would be on file. A legal request to the lab who did the test would be all that's necessary, I would think.

EDIT to Add:

Strings: I know THAaaaaaaaAT...

.... I was just hoping someone would come up with something creative and interesting in order to deflect or avoid the real reason....
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Mandatory DNA tests at birth?