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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Help! I don't want to break his heart      Home login  
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 punkin5681
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 1
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Help! I don't want to break his heartPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I need some advice. I started dating this guy who has been crazy about me for the past 3 years. He has all the qualifications that i want in a guy and i had been putting him off because i was scared and cause he is a big guy. Anyway, i finally said yes to dating him and at first everything was cool but then i started noticing that he was becoming overly affectionate and i couldn't handle it. I started to back off of him and he noticed and we talked about it and he said he would change. He did calm down and then he asked me to marry him and i was shocked but i thought it was what i wanted until he started trying to set dates and then i freaked out and so i said what about in two years. he wasn't happy but he agreed. This is my dilema i don't think that i want to marry him anymore and i don't know how to break it to him. It is going to crush him because he is deeply in love with me. So my question is how can i break this to him without devasting him?
 girlred228
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 2
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Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 11/30/2009 6:38:53 PM
LOL... men always say we don't know what we want...LOL ....thanks ... OP

Well if you didn;t like him from the beginning you should never lied to yourself.. now you have to face this situation cause you created it..

WOMAN up.. let the man go and find someone who wants him... because I think you made it clear that you don;t... don't be one of those people who don't want the guy, but don't want anyone to have him.. so you keep him around.. RELEASE this fish back into the ocean.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 3
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Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 11/30/2009 6:40:56 PM
There is no easy way out. But you can make him start the conversation. The key is to be noticeably aloof, distant, troubled. He will eventually ask you what is wrong, and at that point you begin to cry. Let him see that you are tortured, and let him know that you cannot move forward with your relationship and you have felt that way for a long time. If he talks you out of breaking up that night (I've been there) make sure that your body language and demeanor show that you are unhappy every time you get together after. He will notice and start the conversation again or he may even do the right thing and let you off the hook.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 4
Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 11/30/2009 6:43:50 PM
Cut the bul l sh it. Tell him to take a hike. That will be two years of misery not only for him, but for you. Grow some ovaries and tell him no.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 5
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Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 11/30/2009 7:00:42 PM
You had no problems telling him to back off and how you felt but now you don't know how? Just tell him.
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 6
Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 11/30/2009 7:20:14 PM

But you can make him start the conversation. The key is to be noticeably aloof, distant, troubled. He will eventually ask you what is wrong, and at that point you begin to cry. Let him see that you are tortured, and let him know that you cannot move forward with your relationship and you have felt that way for a long time. If he talks you out of breaking up that night (I've been there) make sure that your body language and demeanor show that you are unhappy every time you get together after. He will notice and start the conversation again or he may even do the right thing and let you off the hook.


I can't tell if you are being facetious or not. But that scenario is manipulative as hell.

Op, just tell him. Soon. The longer you put it off, the more convoluted the situation will become. I personally, would rather be slapped quickly, then suffer a slow strangulation.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 7
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Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 11/30/2009 8:16:11 PM
Be straight with him - you've already sort of strung him along it seems for a long time, so you're already going to do PLENTY of damage.... don't make it worse by dragging it out even further.

I mean, maybe I'm reading it wrong, but have you been dating him for the past 3 years?
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 8
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Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 11/30/2009 8:29:41 PM
This is beginning to sound like a scene from "Jerry McGuire" when Jerry first offered to marry his secretary(Renee Zelwigger) not that he yet loved her but to be a father or friend to the son. Don't get involved if your heart is not into it. I think you need to let this guy know that he is going way way too fast for you, and your inclinded to end it if things dong slow down. This is of course if you want to see this guy.
 Malley
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 9
Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 11/30/2009 8:59:04 PM
Is this the same friend you began sleeping with a few months ago that pretends it didn't happen or or the one from high school that proposed then broke it off 12 hours later?
This is beginning to sound like the beginnings of a bad soap opera!

It is going to crush him because he is deeply in love with me. So my question is how can i break this to him without devasting him?

I suggest you leave your journal out where he can read it. There'll be no need to say a word.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 10
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Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 12/1/2009 2:58:29 AM
Wow another heartless b!tch loss on the streets. Why dont you and all the other heartless she-devils do the world a favor and drive off a cliff.
so you are punishing this poor sap because he is affectionate? grow up!!!!!!!
you even admit in the first 3 sentences that he is a great guy so you reward his niceness with venom? geez and you women are so surprised when one of these guys snapps and starts shooting b!tches up at curves.
 girlred228
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 11
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Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 12/1/2009 9:38:45 AM
LOL.. damn girl... LOL.. that is all I can say.. I posted earlier... so I am just saying to say.. Damn GIRL...LOL
 HD Red Lantern
Joined: 11/16/2009
Msg: 12
Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 12/1/2009 12:24:19 PM
Oh, man, I didn't there are men like this...
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 13
Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 12/1/2009 6:10:25 PM
if this man is really madly in love with you think long and hard before you throw him back...you may never find another man who is that in love with you..you may end up regretting it ...you will be treated well if you stay and will probably not be treated as well by anyone else...something to think about....
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 14
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Help! I don't want to break his heart
Posted: 12/1/2009 6:11:51 PM
OP, I'm not going to read the other threads but you are 28-years-old and you have children. Please get your head out of your ass and start acting like a grown-up, and preferably one who has a spine.

I don't know how long you have been with this man, hell we don't know whether this is the one that isn't really having sex with you or someone else but this parade of idiots cannot be good for your children even if you think they don't know about it and someone who wants to marry you I assume has a relationship with your kids.

Sounds like you should spend some time by yourself, finish your degree, raise your children and if a guy comes along that you actually like and who actually likes you, well, you should understand what to do when that happens. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum who don't treat you well, probably should stay away from them.
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