Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Oregon  > Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 2bornot2be2
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 3
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etcPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Talk is cheap. Most people will say that things such as a good job and money don't matter. I often hear "It's what's in the heart that matters." While that sounds nice, and makes for good prose and poetry, it's not reality.

Back before I decided to go back to college I had a great job, a nice car, money in the bank, traveled often......all of that good stuff. And guess what? I never had the need or excuse to use an internet dating site.

Fast forward.......I have used most of my savings to fund my education, I drive a 20 year old car, live in an apartment the size of a shoe box, and driving 5 miles to Philomath is a what I consider a big trip these days.

I'm still the same person I was before I decided to go back to school. I'm no uglier, dumber or have less of a heart. But, I do have much less money. The result: I'm on this site, and as you might guess, I'm not exactly so busy answering my e-mails that I don't have time to read and write on this forum.

I'll earn a good paycheck again eventually, but that day is in the future. I guess one thing has changes about me, though. I'm far more cynical now and will likely never believe anyone who says "It's what's in the heart that matters."
 2bornot2be2
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 4
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc
Posted: 12/3/2009 5:50:24 PM
Perhaps I should elaborate.....I'm cynical about dating. I'm actually quite happy and content with most other aspects of my life. I like getting up each morning, look forward to going to work, I like the people I'm around and I am excited about the future.

To hit the ball back into your court.......do you know anyone who likes to be around a person that criticizes them?
 2bornot2be2
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 5
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc
Posted: 12/3/2009 7:12:53 PM
Perhaps you are correct Kat. No offense taken.
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc
Posted: 12/5/2009 9:22:09 AM

What ever happen to Ok times are tough, but we can do it. No I don't see that any more times get tough and it is time to go. Not in the old days, 90% or more stuck it out.


Is it possible that things were pretty rocky before 'times got tough?' It seems to me that if you take care of your relationship when times are good - keeping the foundation strong, the love healthy, and the romance going both in and out of the bedroom - then chances are it will survive the tough times. However, if your already on rocky ground, times getting tough may be the excuse to bail???
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc
Posted: 12/5/2009 9:27:47 AM
Having gone through a layoff, back to school, and realigning my life, during the recession of the 80's, I found that my perspective often impacted other's impression of me. When I viewed myself as an unemployed, single mother, living in my parent's basement while going back to college to get my degree - I was persona non grata!

I realized that I was beating myself up and changed my 'self description' to a successful college student, retraining for a new career with a definite plan for the future. I found that I started talking about my vision of my successful future, rather than talking about my past failures!

I think that there is a rush to be 'honest' about where we are in life - and that often comes across to someone that doesn't know us as "homeless with no future" and they never get to our vision of where we are going.

Personally, if I met someone that was 'self supporting' (even if that was unemployment benefits), working on a definite plan for the future, and a positive self image - that would spell 'successful' to me.

There are many ways to have a terrific date without spending a fortune. But - there is no way to get past someone who is stuck in their own misery! I can't remake your life - and most women (and men) are wise enough to know that.
 MissyIkie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 9
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc
Posted: 12/5/2009 1:29:29 PM
mkwbmh,

I commend you for trying to date and putting yourself out there. I have been involved with a man who is pushing me away because he "has nothing to offer." He is about to lose his job, his house, his parents are requiring a lot of care and one is close to dying. I'm here, trying to offer support, love and encouragement, only to be told to "move on."

There are women out there like me. In my book, it is easy to fall in love when life is great and things are going wonderfully, but if you are blessed enough to have someone that wants to journey the bad times with you, you should grab hold and enjoy the ride back up together.

I look to the measure of a man rather than what he has for "stuff." Does he have integrity, intelligence and humor? That's my guy.
 2bornot2be2
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 10
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc
Posted: 12/5/2009 1:38:29 PM
I have been involved with a man ....................."


Judging from your profile you have either already given this guy the boot, or will do so once you have found a new man. If it's the latter this post seems a little hypocritical. But correct me if I'm wrong.
 MissyIkie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 11
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc
Posted: 12/5/2009 10:38:50 PM
My profile is hidden from searches. And the fellow I'm referring to hasn't been in my life in 7 months. We only touched base briefly recently when I was given the "word."
 dtcdude
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc
Posted: 12/26/2009 7:14:20 AM
mkwbmh : There's a new web site for unemployed singles. http://www.funemployedsingles.com .
 MissyIkie
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 15
Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc
Posted: 12/26/2009 8:08:19 AM
That looks like it is for "employed" singles. Also, brand new and no postings.
Show ALL Forums  > Oregon  > Divorced/unemployed/foreclosed, etc