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 bowlingfordates
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 1
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Grandma's ring IIPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
There was a thread in the ask a guy section that lead me to post this one.

How should a man feel about his S/O wanting to wear an inherited diamond ring as her engagement ring?

Should he be happy that he didn't have to purchase a very expensive ring, or feel bad, because he didn't buy his future wife's engagement ring ?

The band that goes with the ring will be purchased by him.

? or ?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 2
Grandma's ring II
Posted: 12/7/2009 11:38:15 AM
It's just a ring. Whether you purchase it or it's an heirloom, does it make you any less or more engaged?
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 3
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Grandma's ring II
Posted: 12/7/2009 11:57:38 AM

Was the inherited ring a ring that symbolized "till death do us part" to the same guy?? If so, then it could potentially be what she wants as a "blessing" on her finger to hopefully have the same thing with her man. These are the DEEPER things that couples who are wishing to be married should talk about. You know....it's called 'intimacy'.

If this were the case with MY woman.... I would be pretty proud that this sort of symbolism were important to her. It would be a DAILY reminder, looking both her and I in the face as to the REAL importance of marriage and how to keep that sanctity alive and well...... A woman who values that is FAR more valuable to me than a woman who INSISTS that I get her a diamond to wave in front of her friends simply from sheer size.....

I would think it would be for purely sentimental reasons and totally agree with this post. My mother was married to my dad until he died, her mother was also married until my grandfather died. I have my grandmother's engagement ring and my mother's wedding ring. I know since my grandmother died before she was born, that my grandmother would be tickled for her to have it. Mother would similarly be happy if she wanted to incorporate the wedding ring.

The ring symbolizes the love a couple shares, not the title history of a ring and to me, a ring that was handed from another family member just makes the connection with the new family being created stronger. In a way, a personal guardian angel for the marriage.
 sonofabiscuit2
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 4
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Grandma's ring II
Posted: 12/7/2009 1:51:51 PM
My Grandfather and I once had a conversation regarding marriage, because I was feeling guilty for getting married in Las Vegas without any family present. He asked me if my marriage license was legal, I told him it was and he said "if it's a legal marriage license why does it matter where or how you were married"? He then told me that he and my Grandmother were married by a justice of the peace a few days before he was sent off to Korea. They were married until they passed. My point is that it doesn't matter where or how you're married or the ring you have on your finger if any at all, the only thing that matters is that you love one another and committed to that love.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 5
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Grandma's ring II
Posted: 12/7/2009 2:23:26 PM
If she has a sentimental attachment to the ring why would the guy care, it's not like it's from her ex. I don't find it creepy, lots of people use antique rings, some are quite beautiful. I mean there's not ghost that comes with it. A woman should have a ring that she loves, isn't that the point?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 6
Grandma's ring II
Posted: 12/7/2009 3:04:33 PM

How should a man feel about his S/O wanting to wear an inherited diamond ring as her engagement ring?

Should he be happy that he didn't have to purchase a very expensive ring, or feel bad, because he didn't buy his future wife's engagement ring ?


The way this reads, it sounds more to me like it's the woman who is wanting to wear a ring that SHE inherited as the engagement ring; not that it's a ring HE inherited that he wants to give to her....come back and explain yourself OP....
 bowlingfordates
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 7
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Grandma's ring II
Posted: 12/7/2009 5:12:56 PM
The way this reads, it sounds more to me like it's the woman who is wanting to wear a ring that SHE inherited as the engagement ring; not that it's a ring HE inherited that he wants to give to her....come back and explain yourself OP....

The ring was inherited from her grandma that passed away recently and she would keep the ring if we were to get divorced. It is her family heirloom and her family decided to give it to her so it would be kept in their bloodline. She loves the ring and is proud to wear it.

I guess my real question should have been...........would I be looked down on because I did not buy her an expensive ring?

I am proud of her and her family values. I just don't want to look like a cheapskate.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 8
Grandma's ring II
Posted: 12/7/2009 5:56:53 PM
Well then, OP, so much for all these people being afraid you'd loose an heirloom. I certainly wouldn't think you were cheap. That's the problem with society and what it's become. The ring is supposed to be a symbol of never ending love (in recent times), not a symbol of how you can impress everyone else with monetary flash (which has become an all to frequent more recent symbol), including brides to be. Go with the symbol as it is intended, with the added benefit of it being "love passed down through the ages."

Congratulations by the way!
 Kimberish925
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 9
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Grandma's ring II
Posted: 12/7/2009 6:01:40 PM

The ring was inherited from her grandma that passed away recently and she would keep the ring if we were to get divorced. It is her family heirloom and her family decided to give it to her so it would be kept in their bloodline. She loves the ring and is proud to wear it.

I guess my real question should have been...........would I be looked down on because I did not buy her an expensive ring?

I am proud of her and her family values. I just don't want to look like a cheapskate.


Thank you for clarifying...You shouldn't be looked down on because you did not buy her a ring, especially if she would prefer to wear her grandma's ring for sentimental reasons. In this case it is not the ring itself but the love you share.

If you still feel that you should get her something to signify your commitment get a matching piece to go with the ring, even something she can wear on your wedding day (besides the obvious band) such as earings or a necklace.

On the flip side...if I were given an heirloom from his family I would expect to return it if things did not work out.
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