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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff      Home login  
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 tallykatt
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 1
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuffPage 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Ok, let me give ya a scinario


A girl goes to the club with her friends, she looks great, carries herself with class, in no way acts slutty. Sometime throughout the night she hooks up with a guy she would like to get to know, they chat dance, she in no way leads him to believe that she is going to sleep with him, but makes it obviouse she is interested. The end of the night comes and he asks her if she wants to come over for a bit to watch a movie, she accepts. They get to his place and the paws start goin...... she sais no, they just met, ( not because she doesnt want to , but because she likes him and wants to get to know him) After a while she feels guilty because the guy has worked himself into a horny frienzy........



What should she do?


Sex on the first night? Does this ruin a possible relationship?



If you were the guy in this situation, what should she do? What would turn u on the most?



And if she does give in ....... why does he not call??????


I have always wondered about these things, the F^%K N Chuck syndrome


Thanx


Ciao
 FishinRod
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 2
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:06:27 PM
I don't think sex on first day can ruin anything - but there can be some confusion as to what each side wanted out of this "relationship".

My advice is .....JUST DO IT
 rockwell
Joined: 7/8/2005
Msg: 3
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:22:50 PM
tough call.

the thing is that most guys see clubs as places to get laid-- not start relationships-- so if you meet one there and go home with him chances are he is going to take it as a given that the two of you are going to have sex.

personally i wouldn't go to a club if i was looking for someone to have a serious relationship with. the whole atmosphere of a club-- from the alcohol being served to the types of music that get played-- is geared towards sex; it's not the type of place one is easily able to show off, or notice, the characteristics that make a good long term (as in anything over a 1 nighter) partner.
 JessKO
Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 4
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:24:08 PM
Going to someone's house right after the bar and not expecting to have sex is silly.

If she really didn't want to screw him then she should have asked for a rain check and maybe he would have asked her out on a proper date another day.

I don't think the guy was interested in anything more than sex...otherwise he would have asked for her number with plans to get to know her another day instead of inviting her back to his place.

I had a great relationship that started off with sex on the first date. Lasted 2.5 years. Mind you, we did talk a lot earlier on in the evening.
However, sex on the first date unfortunately does get you a lot of booty calls.
 happycat512
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 5
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:37:42 PM
First of all, you've been choosing the wrong venue to meet dudes. (yeah, I'm from california) Coffeehouses, street fairs, sports events, even department stores are good places. If the guy's buying something, he may just have a job. Unless he's buying condoms or a lot of beer. Guys you meet during the day are less likely to perform the ol' slam n jam. Plus, anticipate a little- get his phone number, and call him! Keep the ball in your court.
Recap: You in attractive attire + dark club + alcohol + guy who didn't come to club to find a steady girlfriend in the first place + more alcohol + you agreeing to go back to his place that night = a great story for him to tell his buddies the next day, and lonely you.
Look elsewhere for a good time! Good luck.
The Cat
 JackJohnson
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 6
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:41:57 PM
Baby...

Just being honest here...

When I was younger, I was criticized for being a "slowpoke" and not putting moves on her the first date. Many assume the guy's not interested unless he does this.

I learned my lesson well.
 tallykatt
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 8
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:45:43 PM
Ok , all great advice...... but what i want to get to , is ..........................................


WHAT GOES ON IN THE MIND OF A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

What in that given situation......

What could the girl do to make him want to spend time, besides sex that one night?
 tallykatt
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 9
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:46:56 PM
LOL, Do you by chance work for MAXIM, or play girl??? Funny suggestion, which probably happens more often then not....
 TiredDaddy
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 10
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:47:11 PM
I don't think there should be such a hard rule as to NOT have sex, or to NOT go somewhere.

Everyone is different and every situation is different, so the rules are silly and impossible to defend either way.

If you are an adult, and mature...you know what you are doing and what your expectations are. Be clear, and firm in your choices and live with the consequences. You'll be a much happier person without the rule book.

If it feels like the right thing to do right then to NOT have sex...then don't...if the partner cannot deal with that...they weren't for you anyway.

On the other hand if it feels right, emotionally...then go ahead. But be prepared for all the possible scenario's the day after.....
 tallykatt
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 11
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:48:31 PM
How r we damned???


What do u think the guy would do



If she put out?



If she didnt?


Pretend that she is a catch as well??
 tallykatt
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 12
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:50:27 PM
That actually makes sence, i find guys r always trying to do (the right thing) and more often than not they are very nervouse........ So then why dont they call back???
 TiredDaddy
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 13
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:51:30 PM
It's always about chemistry...if it is the right woman...then sex on the first date, or the 21st date wouldn't change how smitten you are with her.
 tallykatt
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 14
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:52:53 PM
Thank you, what if




The girl dresses very sexy, and can dance.


This is why there is pawing
 TiredDaddy
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 15
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:54:34 PM
The right woman could be dressed in a Nun's habit....and there would still be attempts at pawing....

The way a woman dresses has very little to do with her sex appeal. Some women can be in a bikini and NOT be sexy....
 Romantic Love
Joined: 3/14/2005
Msg: 16
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:55:10 PM
Men for the most part want sex and women for the most part want relationship. You should only have sex with a man, who is interested in wanting a relationship with you. If you demand a relationship, first, and you lose him; he only wanted sex and will move on to another victim. Men, who score with a women and never calls her; is a player! His desire to score with you has been meet by your giving in to him, so he does not need you anymore and moves on to a new victim to conquer.
 JessKO
Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 17
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 1:57:02 PM
Personally, I have RESPECT for myself and do it on the first date.

I do it cause I like sex, not because I have some freaky self-esteem issues that I try to solve by being promiscuous OR cause I get drunk and don't know better.

However, I WON'T do it on the first date because I am aware that there are way too many guys who will not respect me or want more from me if I do do them on the first date.

I used to think that guys who acted that way were too narrow-minded and I wouldn't want them anyways.... but as screwing on the 1st date is really limiting my romantic possibilities I am forced to change.
I don't think I should have to but I guess it's like one of those rules like gravity that only change in very specific odd almost impossible to find situations.
 seasons in the abyss
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 18
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:02:07 PM
this reminds me of my ex GF. seems like for whatever reason she gets it on with some new guy shortly after meeting them, then a week later he's out the door, and she's all pissed off.

women, do not f*ck guys in the first 2 weeks of meeting/seeing them if you really have any intentions of getting to know them or having them hang around. you'll save yourself a lot of bs and other problems.
 mak423
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 19
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:02:29 PM
what was the question again?
 JessKO
Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 20
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:03:56 PM

What could the girl do to make him want to spend time, besides sex that one night?



Guys only want what they want.
Get better at reading the signs and go from there.

The best thing you could do is to invite him and his buddies to go with you and your buddies for food after the bar.
 seasons in the abyss
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 21
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:08:14 PM
and further more your probably better off to leave it alone once the bar closes.....exchange numbers then see if the guy bothers to call.....if theres one thing ive learned its this...is the other person even bothering to make en effort to get the ball roling or not. take some time first and evaluate this a bit.
 mak423
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 22
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:09:05 PM
I have had a great relationships with those who I have slept with in the first night.. it just comes down to what you are looking for..

..but its true, most guys just want the one night sex then more sex at a later date with no strings attached.

Always best to chat about it first if you are wanting more yourself.. if not, wait the suggested two weeks ;)
 mak423
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 23
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:14:14 PM

What could the girl do to make him want to spend time, besides sex that one night?


She should just simply make it clear that she wants to come over but that no sex will happen. I had a great night before just listening to music till 4 am and chatting then just Sleeping together (clothes on).

If she doesn't feel like he gets the message, don't waste your time in going.

Plans with friends after is always good too.. though its usually harder to occomplish (due to lack of good places to go, or friends to drunkto be in public etc)
 tallykatt
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 24
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:31:36 PM
What would make her " the right woman" what would she do, be like?
 tallykatt
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 25
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:33:43 PM
Im actualy not talking about myself. Im just wondering why it happens, i love psychology, this is always something that baffled me
 tallykatt
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 26
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/12/2005 2:36:53 PM
Thank you..............................what goes through your mind through out that evening?

And after


having sex the first night

'

or not having sex, even though she did come over
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