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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > The we can be friends thing, ugh!      Home login  
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 sassy_1974
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 2
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The we can be friends thing, ugh!Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Nah ya not an idiot, just stuck in the past. But hey, you wanna be someones second best? then good luck to you. Life is too short-go find someone who wants YOU ;)
 parry10
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 7
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The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 12/14/2009 2:18:44 PM
"teach1er" ........ .easy there boy!
 parry10
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 12
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The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 12/14/2009 8:49:10 PM
The only time the "friends" thing worked out for me and another woman was when I was truly friends with that woman........we both had sole custody of kids so we truly were best friends as we relied on each other daily........at some point, we got dumb and stupid for a month and did the " buddy sex" thing which turned into actual dating........then one day we both shook our heads, laughed hysterically and went straight back to being best friends.......

but it was clear we loved each other as friends and not romantically so neither of us got hurt.....

but, if one or the other had deep romantic feelings, we'd never be able to be friends.....it just never works.

You can't go from being "in love" to just friends....one person out of the two will always be hurt and tortured.

........move on...it's over
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 13
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The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 12/15/2009 9:05:16 AM
If you feel it is the dump line, say NOPE I DO NOT WANT TO BE FRIENDS.
Problem solved....call her on it......let her know that you think she is full of it.
 Mr.Versatility
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 17
The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 12/16/2009 6:03:06 AM
Dude, The problem is So clear...

You're way too nice.........

I guarantee you treat all these women like they are the queens of the world, you give them all the respect in the world all the attention they need, you fondle them with affection, you're at their becking call...... If i'm wrong than I'll be suprised..

Stop Doing these things, you will always be placed in the friend zone as long as you keep coming off as a doormat and not as a Man....

Women might be drawn to this for awhile but eventually it fades, you need to keep the ball rolling you need to switch it up, you need to throw her for a loop, you cannot just be Mr. Nice guy, you need to have your own opinions, yeah one that differs from hers from time to time, you need to be a****sometimes, even if it isnt like you, if you ever want to land a woman its a must, dont listen to anyone that tells you otherwise, any successful man will tell you the same things...
 ghostrider73a7x
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 20
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The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 12/17/2009 6:57:25 PM

What does the girl mean when she says she wants to stay friends, then say a couple months after breaking up with you, she dates someone else, and then tells you we no longer can be friends and should focus on our own lives? Yes, if you have no connection to the situation, it would be ease...move on idiot! Thanks, I've been told this over and over, so perhaps I am the idiot in this situation. Yet, as I'm sure some of you have discovered, when someone has an emotional attachement, it is a bit hard to "move on".

After a year of knowing each other, I lost my best friend and a woman who I thought might be the one *boo hoo*...anyone think she'll send me an e-card for Christmas or should I prepare myself to never hear from the girl ever again and just hope she's happy and content with out me?


I had been through this B.S. plenty of times too. The last woman I had dated that had decided to "friend" me, I told her "If im not good enough to be your boyfriend then you are certainly not good enough to be my "friend".
 Malice From Wonderland
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 23
The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 12/21/2009 11:11:41 AM
This is why (what few I have) with X's I do not "stay friends." It is too much bullshit and someone gets their feelings hurt. It is not good (in my opinion) to stay "friends" simply because in order to move on with a new relationship, who the hell wants to deal with someone's X? I know I don't and won't. It is called move on, and get on with life. Period. And I don't buy the "I'm a changed man" ~ they all say that.
 ~Sexiest User~
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 25
The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 12/21/2009 12:19:41 PM
Hey OP,
You came here and asked for advice with your half $sss story....And everyone here gave you good advice...with your half $sss story you made this 2nd girlfriend as at fault....YOU had a girlfriend when you started dating this 2nd girlfriends that you are trying to get over....And yet YOU can not seem to get over your 1st girlfriend out of your head while dating the 2nd girlfriends....seems that you are the problem...it is not them...it is you OP...your brain cells is not fully develop....you played them both....You are a two timer....get ready it will fall in, in you, in both directions...have yourself a merry christmas....my advice is to leave them alone....
HO!...HO!...HO!....Merry Christmas to everyone
lea in west tn
 ~Sexiest User~
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 27
The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 12/21/2009 12:49:12 PM
Hey OP,
You asked for advice and you got it.....about the turkey.....lol.....liked the turkey dressing with lots of giblet gravy...yummy
lea in west tn
 Buffalo-Gal
Joined: 1/1/2010
Msg: 33
The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 1/7/2010 10:19:33 AM
Wow, I feel so devastated now by everyones answers!
Of course it depends on the circumstances, and your situation-it doesn't seem likely.
I managed to stay friends with all but one of my ex'es. I guess because I am very picky about who I date, and I certainly wouldn't go out with someone unless I really liked them....considered them to be a friend. To me, losing one of these great guys as a friend is akin to me waking up one day and reading in the paper that they were hit buy a car or shot in a robbery. It would absolutely break my heart if we parted ways, and I knew I would never see/hear from them again.
Granted, thats just me. But one thing is common with each and every break up-they took a LOT of time for us to finally get to a place where we could be friends again. I guess thats where the actual broken heart plays in. But after time, when the pain was gone and life had moved on, it was easy. I guess it just depends on if you really want to be friends.
 AceHi
Joined: 9/28/2008
Msg: 42
The we can be friends thing, ugh!
Posted: 1/11/2010 5:25:10 PM
I have to ask because I think it helps to look at this from a different angle.. Does it concern or confuse anyone when your new girlfriend didn't think it was a big deal to mention that Rambo, the dude who's walking around in her apartment with nothing on but the radio, is her ex-husband but they're just "friends" now?

Ok, perhaps I'm exaggerating a bit but my point is.. It just isn't natural to become un-intimate, if you will, with someone. At least for me it isn't. I don't know.. I suppose it's possible but what a pain in the a**! For some dude, that’s quite possibly had your new girlfriend in who knows what unique positions atop the coffee table by which you sit flipping through a Redbook, to still be in the mix.

Here's the bottom line.. "I still want to be friends" is a demotion. It means someone else, better suited, will be taking your place in the romance & intimacy department. And don't fall for the "I just need time for myself " nonsense. There's likely someone else in mind or in bed already. I'm a very keen observer & I've seen this happen time & time again. "I still want to be friends" is a ready-made statement for someone who wants out of a relationship to tell someone who doesn't.

Are all women capable of such rotten behavior? Of course not! Isn't it okay to split up with someone you just aren't compatible with? Of course it is! It requires a lot of guts to do correctly however & "I still want to be friends" is incorrect. "I'm not happy in this relationship" or "There's someone else" would be much better as grieving the heartbreak can begin much sooner. Pain eventually makes it's way to the surface. Why put it off until later?
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