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 AUTHOR
 Malice From Wonderland
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 5
your SO is addicted to dating sitesPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Just talk to her. A lot of people (I am one of them) love the forums. Am I in a relationship? No. However, if I do become in one, I am still here, still with similar photos (I update them all the time to be current) and it does not at all mean I am looking or wanting to have relations outside of who I am with. There is a lot to be learned here sometimes, and other times it is just fun. I would not really read into ti too much; unless she is meeting other people or lying to you. Not everyone on a website is lying. Good luck and stay safe .
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 8
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/14/2009 6:22:49 PM
If she cares, she will feel comfortable enough talking with you and toning down what seems to be bothering you.

You do not own this person, and maybe you need to be more secure within yourself, and feel good enough about yourself, that if she is not happy being with just you, maybe you need to be with another.

cd.............
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 14
your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/14/2009 6:44:57 PM
are you engaged ...have bought a ring for her ...set the date...if not what right do you have to tell her what to do...maybe she is looking for a guy who is willing to put his money where his mouth is ...until you can make up your mind what you want she is looking out for number one...she is still looking...and what you want to do is up to you...but is you want to get her off the dating sites start showing her you mean business...ask her to marry you and mean it..otherwise quit complaining....
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 15
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/14/2009 6:55:58 PM
Leave her alone, she doesn't want to do what you are determined she do, it's her business. Now if you don't like her behavior, don't date her, you can't make her do things to conform to your needs. It doesn't matter what any of us think, it's her decision.
 SASSYN89178
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 26
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/15/2009 9:40:09 AM
She should respect your wishes, however you write she's a new g/f.
Have you talked about not going out with other people?
Are you exclusive?
Have you had any communication about what your relationship is about?
Maybe she doesn't consider you to be her boyfriend.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 29
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/15/2009 10:00:40 AM

are you engaged ...have bought a ring for her ...set the date...if not what right do you have to tell her what to do...


Even then no one has the right to tell an other what to do!!!

You have seen these sites by her choice or you found them?

If by her choice...seems she has nothing to hide.
You finding them...I must ask, how did you find them?

As for pic's...are they so provotive, nudes or what?

I need some answers...
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 33
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/15/2009 10:34:45 AM
^^^Stu:
You said it "BOUNDARIES" these are things two people agree apon together. No one has the right to impose such things on ppl as what to do or not to do. No one owns anyone...Its called respect!

VVVEdit for Stu:
Been cheated on, lied to and abused...still doesn't change the fact that we have no right to tell an other what to do...

Looking for a fight...tee hee

 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 43
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/15/2009 2:24:50 PM
I have a myspace and facebook as well as recently joining this site to participate in the forums. My boyfriend has profiles on these sites as well. We have it as "in a relationship" status though. If she does not acknowledge she is dating you she may not be ready to make it exclusive. Only you can decide if she is trustworthy or not. If you tell her she has to delete them this will only make you look controlling. It is better to communicate your concerns to her and if she doesn't understand you must decide if she is really someone you want to be in a relationship with.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 48
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/15/2009 7:12:03 PM
How long have you two been dating?
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 49
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/15/2009 7:24:05 PM
You asked her to delete the pics you found offensive and she said no. I don't think you can trust this person to be in a committed relationship. As much as it hurts the best thing to do is leave the relationship. If she cared about you she would be willing to remove pics that you do not find appropriate to display when in a relationship. You should not of said I demand you take those down because it is her right to display them. However, if they are hurting her SO she should want to take them off on her own. She obviously doesn't care about you and it's time to move on. Marriage wouldn't of solved anything, she would just end up cheating on you. She doesn't sound like she wants a commitment of any kind, she is just having fun. She doesn't care if you get hurt along the way either. If you can't trust your SO what kind of relationship could you have? Not a healthy one if your constantly feeling the need to check on her.
 Malice From Wonderland
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 52
your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/16/2009 7:22:42 PM
If you are going to bail over photos then she does not need you. I was married to a jealous man who would have had me in a Burka if he could have. There is nothing wrong with sexy photos especially someone who can sport them. It does not mean she is screwing anyone or flirting. Jealous people are irritating. And it is a disease. Be proud of her for looking good. Maybe find someone more like you; on dating sites just without sexy photos.
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 68
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/19/2009 11:42:09 AM
I was dating a man recently who I loved and was still on the POF site mainly because I liked the forums. I do not date him anymore since I found out he was cheating on me for 2 1/2 yrs with women from POF that apparently did not know he was involved. Since he has become abusive and sets me up to get in trouble with police and people I know and refuses to introduce me to family and friends----I have broken up with him.I initially got onto POF because I saw women's faces on his desktop and questioned the site he was on. Suggested that we go to the events and meet new people, but he acted like he did not want to be seen with me, so I let him go his own way. I am an educated women, who takes care of herself and shares with others less fortunate. I love him, but had to let him go due to his abuse of me and humiliation in front of my friends and others in society and his unwillingness to work on or talk about his issues. Everybody has their own issues----it's whether you want to address them and be honest that makes the difference.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 77
your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 12/20/2009 8:34:34 AM
"with my new girlfriend which i met on myspace,we"ve had so much trouble with her wanting to keep her profiles up on numerous dating sites..she says that there isnt anything going on,but when i look at her profiles,she has pictures on it that i feel arent appropriate considering she is in a relationship..she does not want to delete her profiles and this is upsetting me,,,what can or should i do?????"
------------------------
Well, there's nothing you can do about that I'm afraid. Personally I'm through with giving speeches about what I consider right or wrong. Those qualities have to be there from the beginning anyway and it's not your job to change somebody. I can say from experience that there's no reason to argue about that. She's made her choice and shown you what kind of a person she is. The best thing you can do is to move on to someone who respects you and doesn't allow dating sites come in between. If a guy or chick wants to stick around writing on a forum, that's Okay - I guess, as long as the person is clearly there for that purpose only, and if so, there's no need to keep a profile around with pictures either.
 Rachelle2008
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 93
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 1/2/2010 6:31:26 PM
A lot of your problem is a need to know what's really going on with this woman and what she's really doing when she's visiting these sites.

Several people have suggested that you put her to the test by creating another i.d. That may not be a bad idea, all things considered. Either create the fake i.d. and approach her subtly, or observe what's really going on with a remote tool, in real time. You'd definitely get an answer to your question. You'll know exactly the right decision to make, no more doubts.
 VintageLve
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 94
your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 1/2/2010 6:44:12 PM
Well now I dated a guy who - got so mad at me because i put my pictures back up - but he ordered me to take them down - then he didnt call me for 3 days lol i was like yeah ok right /Now i really liked this guy and it did turn to love but ever since i did that i kindas ruined it / He tried to trick me with fake profies and hot talks - i knew it was him and was playing along making every story hotter /after mths of this i finaly got bored with the b-s and fake profiles and games this site is so full of wakos but I understand why she keeps it up i dnt take mine down that easy i just take pics off and then i hide my profile when i really am into a guy but im still on here
it should be plenty of hookups not fish anyways good luck sweetie have a talk with her see how she feels
 Happinesstoo
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 95
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your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 1/2/2010 6:46:52 PM
It sounds like you have already asked her to delete the profiles and or the pics and if she hasn't done that then you need to decide if this is a deal breaker.

Everyone should have a list of what they feel is acceptable what is a deal breaker and what they can be flexible on. Then when you meet someone no matter how great they seem if they land in the category of too many deal breakers then you know what you have to do and that is break up with her.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 100
your SO is addicted to dating sites
Posted: 11/22/2011 7:48:57 PM
This is from 2009.

But of course- I'm going to add something.

I'm sure, by now you figured out this is
a losing battle.

There is something about the attention people
get on these sites that they don't get in real life.

It fills a void for them.

I'm hoping you have moved in a healthier direction
and are having a good life - without having to
compete for her attention.
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