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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Meeting someone, and the following days      Home login  
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 deanne91
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 1
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Meeting someone, and the following daysPage 1 of 1    
Why do some guys insist on meeting a girl and then turn around and never speak to the girl or are cold toward them? How does a girl find out if it was her or him?? Any insight into this would be helpful. Really curious as to why this might be.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2
Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/16/2009 9:09:59 PM
They don't meet you at all, or they don't talk to you after meeting?

Either way it's still lack of interest, but I was just curious.
 parry10
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 3
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Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/16/2009 10:29:14 PM
Because it's human nature not to want to hurt someone directly......it's hard to be honest with someone and say...."thanks but no thanks"... "I'm not into you".... "you aren't my type"...."I feel no connection"...... etc, etc

It may seem like a cop out or cowardly but think about it.....it's not an easy thing to do.......silence is sometimes the best way especially after only one date....I've done it and I'm sure it's been done to me....no big deal really because there was no real emotions or time invested yet.....

just assume he didn't feel a spark and move on.......it doesn't mean you are bad or he is bad......it just wasn't to be.

cheers!
 deanne91
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 4
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Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/16/2009 10:32:42 PM
But why is this happening with multiple guys? They knew how i was before....why wait til after?
 parry10
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 5
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Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/16/2009 10:50:44 PM
Who knows?......do you get all drama queen on your first dates?....do you spill out your whole life?.......start demanding?.....lay down a littany of rules?......start talking about past dramas?........start talking -gulp- marriage?.... trust me, I've seen all scenarios and have been chased off within an hour of meeting the person......guys get nervous very quickly at first and will run for the hills fast........once they actually fall in love they will stay but at first?...it doesn't take much......

here's the biggie......are you the nagging type?........guys hate to be nagged.....it's like fingernails going down a chalkboard. I can't even stand to watch a buddy getting nagged. The hairs stand up on my neck if I hear any guy getting truly nagged. Women have no idea what it does to a man to hear it.
 deanne91
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 6
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Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/16/2009 10:55:52 PM
well what would u classify as a date? normally we just meet at their house or go riding around. Im no very talkative and really shy and nervous
 parry10
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 7
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Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/16/2009 11:03:07 PM
meet at their house and go riding around?......c'mon girl!.....make the guy work a little harder than that ! At least go shopping and make him push the buggy! lol

By the way, that's a little dangerous to do with someone you don't now. Do not just go to his place and then jump in his car and go for a ride ok?......you're what?...18?

Meet at a mall and walk around and talk with coffees or something. Sometimes it's hard to sit across from each other at a table on a first meeting.......but strolling and chatting is always good as every minute the scenery changes and there's always a new topic to talk about depending on what is in front of you.

Get creative........but DO NOT DISAPPEAR WITH A STRANGE PERSON IN A CAR!......not good!
 deanne91
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 8
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Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/16/2009 11:04:54 PM
i know its dangerous but multiple people know where i am and one of the other happens not both
 parry10
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 9
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Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/16/2009 11:20:23 PM
ok....last post from me on this topic......I think the last poster (Wendy) nailed it......you are throwing yourself into the hands of these guys and expecting them to do all the emotional work while you sit there stunned and speechless......why do you go on these dates if you have nothing to offer except silence and shyness.........c'mon, be interesting at least.....take charge of some of the conversation instead of appearing to be a walking victim with nothing to offer.....am I harsh?....nope, cause this is what you've just put across to us.

(unless you are now going to change the story again......and at that point, nobody can help you if you keep denying the obvious........and last piece of advice is........you're probably not emotionally mature enough to be dating yet..........give it a few more years and maybe life's experiences will help you be more talkative.....

good luck

.......remember.....you asked
 deanne91
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 10
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Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/16/2009 11:23:29 PM
yes i asked but did not deny anything as i recall

but ok thank you
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 11
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Meeting someone, and the following days
Posted: 12/17/2009 7:30:43 AM
Hon...it's really very simple. No matter how wonderfully well it goes, online, texts, phone, whatever - until you meet there is really not telling if there's going to be a spark. That meeting is a test drive, so to speak - to see if you are interested or not. If they don't talk to you again, or are cold - they aren't interested. End of story.

You shouldn't think of the emails/phone calls/etc. as anything at all - there's nothing until you actually meet.
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