Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Dating during the holidays?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 1
Dating during the holidays?Page 1 of 1    
Just curious...

I was kind of wondering since some of my female friends talk about "the holidays" like it's some sort of black hole of busyness with family get-togethers, shopping and baking. Me personally, although I have things to do for the holidays, I can still find time to date. Most men, I would think, are not doing as much cooking, shopping and entertaining as women do, but maybe I'm wrong?

Do men have any concerns about dating/meeting someone new during the holiday season?
Are you too busy with other activities? Or do you feel there is pressure on you to make commitments or buy gifts for someone you just started dating?

 somephxguy
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 2
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 12:51:32 PM

Most men, I would think, are not doing as much cooking, shopping and entertaining as women do, but maybe I'm wrong?

I think it depends more on the size and closeness of the family rather than gender.
Not to mention some people are into holidays, other people aren't.


Do men have any concerns about dating/meeting someone new during the holiday season?

Depends on the guy and what type of women he attracts or goes for.
Some women are really needy, and some guys really like to go for the really needy women knowing it won't last. So they may love to meet someone really needy to use as a holiday stress relief.
Some guys hate the really needy women that call constantly with nothing to say, so they have concerns about dating/meeting because they expect they will have to put up with the constant calls and texting.
Some guys work well under the pressure.
Sometimes you just have to switch the term guy and women in the preceding and it's all new stuff.
So, it depends.


Are you too busy with other activities?

Not really. It's just the same activities take so much longer because there are so many more people out, causing more stress and frustration.


Or do you feel there is pressure on you to make commitments or buy gifts for someone you just started dating?

I do feel there is pressure to make mini pseudo commitments such as "oh god, I don't want to see her anymore, but breaking up now may ruin her christmas. And I don't know the social etiquette if I've already received gifts. Do we take them back? Oh great, I will get a phone call from her mom saying 'You ruined christmas you sunnofabytch.' So I should wait until after the holidays." So it's over, but it's a struggle to get through them.
Gifts aren't that big of deal. Much easier with someone you don't really (or are just starting to) know than someone that is expecting you to know them.
 Elgalawaat
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 1:16:20 PM
Not really. During the Holiday I don't cook or bake any thing. As for shopping for gifts to family and friends, I used to spend too much time on that but thanks to the Internet shopping, all done from my computer at home and they ship it for me. So when it comes to dating, love, relationships and sex I always make time.
 Sun_Devil_92
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 4
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 1:24:46 PM

Most men, I would think, are not doing as much cooking, shopping and entertaining as women do, but maybe I'm wrong?

Actually, I agree with message #2: this has more to do with family and friends than gender.


Do men have any concerns about dating/meeting someone new during the holiday season?

I do have one concern: Does she really want to find someone to get into a relationship with, or is she "desperate" and trying to find someone for the parties that she needs to attend? Is it a situation where she has some issues with loneliness this time of year, and thus when spring rolls around I'm out the door? What are her motivations?


Are you too busy with other activities?

Uhm ... I'm in the middle of moving from South Bend, Indiana to Columbia, South Carolina. The only thing closer about them is that both names have the term "South."

A wee bit busy this year ...


Or do you feel there is pressure on you to make commitments or buy gifts for someone you just started dating?

It has nothing to do with gifts. However, I would at some time broach the subject with her on whether she felt we had progressed enough in the relationship to exchange gifts. However, even if she said "no," I think that I would probably get something small so that she had something from me to show that I cared for her. (It's hard to put into words ....)
 American-Boy
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 1:25:02 PM
In general I kind of avoid looking around the holidays because I have met some women who just want someone, anyone, to show up with them at an office party or whatever. Then when the holidays are over, the clock strikes midnight, and they turn into a pumpkin.

I don't rule it out entirely but it does create some additional logistical challenges.
 StuVaBch
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 6
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 2:35:22 PM

Do men have any concerns about dating/meeting someone new during the holiday season?

Yes, there are concerns. It can be difficult to get your schedules in sync and generally you don't want to take someone you just met to an office party, church function, a family get together, etc.

In my opinion, it is probably the worst time of year to start with someone new.
 IOWABOY1960
Joined: 11/16/2009
Msg: 7
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 8:07:52 PM
I have been in touch with a couple of gals here on POF via e-mails, getting better acquainted, and they both said that they are so busy with preparations and with family that they do not have time for any communication or meeting until after the holidays are done! My shopping has been done for a week, and I guess the big one is that I do not have children! I am more than willing and have the time to see someone but most everyone else is very busy and cannot find the available time, so I guess it varies for everyone, kind of "situation specific" The only time I am committed to is Christmas day with my folks, sister, and her children, otherwise I am just spending quiet time alone, awaiting the end of the holidays when gals will once again have time to be sociable with us "menfolk" again!
 username_highspeed
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 8
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 8:24:12 PM
it can be hard to meet peolpe because of everything going on. just try and do your best, even if it just for something as simple as a walk and talk.

i meet a reall nice girl yesterday and now she is going to az for a week.

pacents is a vertue.
 shiver27
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 8:28:39 PM
People who think that shopping and buy gifts taking precedence over meeting a friend or a date usually aren't the most reliable people to date. I mean shopping for the holidays and making holiday plans usually occur after thanksgiving. If you can't find time to go on a date in that span then you must not really care about finding someone at all.

~T~
 4gotnsoul
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 10
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 8:38:18 PM
If she seems worth the effort then time has no factor unless ofcourse ur talking of Christmas day...lol.
 KeyofLife05
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 11
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 8:44:48 PM
Online dating thins out HUGELY between Thanksgiving and New Year's. Trust me. Deadest time of the year.

Now, New Years to January 8th (a few days before Valentine's Day) ~ LOOK OUT ~ busiest time of the year for all on-line dating sites. Get ready for it! : )
 TodaysCatch
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 8:54:45 PM
I guess some people are good with the online dating stats. I just know that it's a great time to flirt in the malls, or sneak in kisses under the mistletoe. I get proactive and routinely call single galpals to offer my services as office party escort, which they appreciate. Desperation smells the same any time of year, so it's fairly easy to avoid. And with attitudes that this is a poor time to date prevalent, the competition thins out as well. In short, it works for me.
 Krebby2001
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/19/2009 11:59:22 PM
OP

I don't know about whether things here on POF thin out, but, in general, I think that this time of year, there's an expectation that you'll spend at least some of that time attending some functions, some time fighting lines for Wii's, being with family and friends, and, perhaps, engaging in some church functions. This tends to kill off a significant portion of possible dating opportunities.

Ironically, last year, I invited a friend, a friend that I told several times that we could just be friends, nothing else, to our homestead in TX to spend some time there. We invite international students, "stranded faculty," and others to do the same every year, as we have spare rooms, should they need to stay a few days. Anyway, that turned out to be a total disaster, in this one case. Although nothing even remotely intimate took place, she told all her friends that she had been invited to "spend Christmas" with me, implying much more than what actually took place (nothing). It was absolutely humiliating because there was absolutely no chemistry there, and she swore that she understood that the invitation came because she kept saying that she would be very sad spending the holidays alone.

That episode sorta swayed me away from wanting to do anything related to dating during the holidays -- too much else going on, why add to the confusion? In this strange case, it wasn't even a date, but trying to assist a lonely person. Christmas - it seems to bring out wierd stuff in some people. I know absolutely that one case should not be generalized out of proportion. But sometimes, all that it takes is one case.
 C.O. gothguy
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 14
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/20/2009 12:57:18 AM
look out for it..??..!!

great...thanks key

now i know i'll be ignored TWICE as much in the near future...
lucky me

i must need to work on my sweet/badboy ratio

or maybe i'll just continue to not really give a falk

FB
 dbgecko
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:28:50 AM
I am to busy after Thanksgiving with Christmas, I am to busy with all the small stuff to care about dating. And don't want to met someone just for the holidays and explain later to family and friends that it was just a holiday thing. Also its harder if you have a child.

So my son and I get everything togther, cook, baking..and what not. And the nice thing is, while he is on school break, I am on vaca from work till the 4th..! So during that time my son and I have blast doing things together. No time for dating, don't want to, and have better things to do with my time.

Just my two cents..lol
 wayfarer4you
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/20/2009 10:01:49 AM
ok here it is we man who are alone on the the Holiday's find this time very stressfull (ie) dateing and being alone and find it a wee bit overwhelming to A- date and say we hate being alone at these time's and B- what the heck was the question again ??? ohhh yahhh we dont want to come off as needy or to clingy in this time we call holiday hell and then there's new year's arrrrrrghhhh someone get the gun !!!!!
later daters
 Naissance Man
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 17
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/20/2009 12:02:30 PM
No, I see Holidays as more of tradition. In reality, its just another day. If anything, it can present unique opportunities.

For example, the person I'm dating is visiting her grand parents. She will get back on Christmas Eve. I plan on giving her a white stuffed rabbit when she gets back and telling her "the snow bunnies came back like she said they would". The white rabbit is part of an inside joke and is cute. Even if it weren't the season for giving, I still would do this, but since it is the season for giving it will make it that much more memorable. Building memories is critical this early on in our relationship.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 18
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/20/2009 12:18:25 PM
I get more messages from men during the holidays so I think a certain type is lonely and just wants to be with someone.

I do not think they are concerned about gifts as much as just wanting company.

I will not date or meet anyone during the holidays I do not already know.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/20/2009 12:26:59 PM
I LOVED wayfarere's response. DUDE! (shouldn't we have a high-five emoticon?)

Anyway, if I thought things through carefully, I'd take Krebby's kind of experience to heart, and do like Peppermint and lay back. Despite my apparent tendency to think A LOT, I probably would still unthinkingly go for a possible match if it came my way.
One the oldest complaints lodged against me as a guy, is failure to plan ahead ENOUGH, especially when it comes to Holidays. I probably wont be ready for Christmas until sometime next summer.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 20
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:23:35 PM
I'll throw the "emotional" part of the holidays into the mix if I may. It's a season that involves love, opening our hearts to those of our past, family,friends,etc. I would suggest to be very careful with the heart during this season,,,cause I don't think it would be that hard to get caught up in it all,,,blinding our true feelings(and common sense) which could easily turn into a disaster. Too many "feel good " movies out there not too "believe",,,so as long as you are aware that problems still could arise,,,,no matter what time of year it is.
 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 21
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/22/2009 8:28:44 AM
Lots of cool and interesting replies, thanks everyone and Happy Holidays!
 es-ka-moses
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 22
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/22/2009 9:02:06 AM
Dating over the holidays are fine....as long as you keep the family out of it.

There would definitely been pressure to buy gifts for someone you're dating, but it wouldn't stop us from dating.

And you're right, we don't spend nearly as much time as women doing the holiday stuff.
 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/22/2009 9:53:59 AM
I changed my profile to looking for friends and my headline to "No, I won't be your Xmas party date "

....had a few ladies looking for a temporary boyfriend.....not my thing, I'll wait until the new year.
 padman57
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 24
Dating during the holidays?
Posted: 12/22/2009 3:39:15 PM
I bake pies and breads before Christmas, then I go out of town visiting relatives. So I'm not available. If I stayed around town, I tend to look at the time between Christmas and NYE as being no different than the rest of the year.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Dating during the holidays?