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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Ok.. so its over      Home login  
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 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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Ok.. so its overPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
This strikes me as an organizational problem, sort of. You need to organize your feelings, so that you can recognize which are about you, which are about him, and which are about what ever new people you meet.
Right now you have the affection hunger, which, if you begin with someone new, you have to consciously recognize is NOT a continuation of the ended relationship. You also need to identify what you are angry about from this relationship as carefully as you can, as this will help you avoid blind fear of a new situation. Being able to identify and focus your anger on what really triggered it, is kind of like carefully aiming a gun at a target: the chances of you shooting the wrong thing are sharply reduced.
 Zardoz451
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 8
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Ok.. so its over
Posted: 12/26/2009 9:31:53 AM
Wow OP,

Talk about controlling.

He didn't move at the pace you desired or danced to your tune...so you ditched him.

I love it when the blame is placed on the other person too. 'They had ample opportunity to stop me from leaving, they didn't...so it's their fault.'

Sweet nurosis Batman.

Good luck and and may you find someone who's on the same page as you are with all the t's crossed and i's dotted in the same fashion as you.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 10
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Ok.. so its over
Posted: 12/26/2009 1:07:48 PM
I'm sorry you're feeling dissappointed about your past experience. Perhaps in the future you shoud find out this:
he sees us both with someone else someday..
before you meet the poor innocent kid(s) that shouldn't have to be subjected to the romantic whims of (supposedly) mature adults.

ANY of my ex's would tell you what a wonderful kind person i am.
I will assume that you are a wonderful person.. But, what are you doing that makes them want to be ex's?? Why are they not staying with someone who is so wonderful?

There is a lesson in your last relationship. Learn what that lesson was before you venture out again.. If you don't learn about YOU.. The same thing will keep happening.

I think you are right in leaving someone who "sees you both with someone else some day." He was just there to kill time.. That doesn't mean he wasn't enjoying your complany, nor does it mean that he wasn't fond of you.. It just means that you gave your heart to a man that didn't really want it. Learn from that, forgive yourself, forgive him.. figure YOU out and then you'll find someone who's in it for more than the moments of pleasure you share(d).. Casual relationships are fine when it is what both people want. When It's only what one person wants.. then they're not so "fine."

Best
~ Wishes ~
 parry10
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 11
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Ok.. so its over
Posted: 12/26/2009 1:17:47 PM
To the OP;

Some of the other posters may have a point. Were you pressuring the guy? Most of us guys withdraw when we feel pressure. You said one of your kids hated the guy. Ever think that he felt that and wanted to keep his distance a bit for the sake of your kids and you? I'd love to hear the other side of this story is what I'm saying.

oh, and this little gem here?


my son.. hated the ex b/f.. but.. only hung out with him 2 x in a yr..

and sadly it was cuz he hated fords.. and the ex was a ford mechanic..



Sounds to me like you are always going to have problems getting a man to committ if you've got kids like this who want to sabatoge things.......you kids needs some growing up to do and perhaps some therapy.......again, I'd love to hear the other side
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 16
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Ok.. so its over
Posted: 12/27/2009 11:38:04 AM

Be careful with that, you don't want to miss something good. You don't have to be emotionally involved on day one with anybody.
Op has already admitted that she denies herself and then when she finally meets someone who she is attracted to she quickly falls heavily for them before she ascertains if they have the same relationship goals..

As such.. jumping in while she's still trying to process exactly what just happened will only be detrimental to her in the long run.. She won't 'MISS OUT' on ANYTHING that is GOOD just by waiting.

The only thing She'll miss out on, is meeting someone while still vulnerable and making the same type of mistake or, she'll miss seeing the good in a new man she's met because her mind and heart are still with the ex.. JMO!
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