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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What to say after being dumped.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 3
What to say after being dumped.Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
~OP~ I hate the POOFERs. There are many of them, I'm afraid. It's best to just leave 'em alone. Complete lack of decency really shouldn't be rewarded by our time, interest and or thought(s.) JMO
 virgiomonkey
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 4
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 5:25:05 PM
'As much as it hurts, he just is not interested otherwise he would not be ignoring you. There is nothing else to do in this situation other then to just accept it. If you call, show up on his door step,text and phone him constantly that will not get you any results you desire, so why bother? Leave him alone and walk away with your dignity intact.'

.......Bingo .!!!!...Good advice given here...Well said, Young Lady....

J.D
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 5
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What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 5:26:26 PM
I don't know what you could possibly say to someone who is not in contact with you, but for me when people want to get in that last word and tell off or ask why when someone has treated them badly, they seem to think it will some how fix things. There's no closure other than moving on and not giving a damn. Save your dignity, someone who dumped you had their reasons but none of those reasons will help you, might hurt you, understand unless you plan on changing who you are. They aren't interested, that's really all you need to know. Also, if you find the way they broke up with you as really rude, then why would you want anymore contact with them? Shut the door and get past it.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 6
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What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 5:57:28 PM
Send him one last email saying "be prepared to suck Karma's C**K..


.... Just kidding...


Not much you can do other than to rest assured that the same thing will happen to him one day.. Hopefully, he'll not be a sociopath and actually experience the emotion that that kind of behaviour brings to the forefront of who it's being thrust upon and he'll learn to be more empathetic of others feelings.

You'll be fine.. carry on soldier.
 ~Sexiest User~
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 7
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 6:02:52 PM
Hey OP,
So sorry this happened.....If you have not heard from him......He may have died!!!
This is the most obvious reason could happened......You could call the funeral homes to where he lives.
lea in west tn
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 8
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 6:06:34 PM
Just think of his disappearing act as him realizing you were too good for him and he pulled himself out of the running. He did you a favor. He is a worthless cad... a rotten louse... an incredible jerk and he knew it. He felt he had no right to subject you to his useless self. And guess what? He was right!!!
 virgiomonkey
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 9
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 6:12:54 PM
Just think of his disappearing act as him realizing you were too good for him and he pulled himself out of the running. He did you a favor. He is a worthless cad... a rotten louse... an incredible jerk and he knew it. He felt he had no right to subject you to his useless self. And guess what? He was right!!!

......Whoa.......Go for it Lady....My...My....What a lovely 'Disposition' you have Lady ...Can't wait to meet your Sister/s ......Not.........!!!!....

J.D... ..... ...
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 11
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 6:22:48 PM
Buy a frozen rabbit and a cheap pot and leave it at his front door when he's not home. Just to freak him out a little and don't ever let him know it was you. Or make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with some used kitty litter in them, package them real nice and send them annonymously. Post flyers around his neighborhood with his picture on it and a short summary of what kind of person he is. A little Karma would do him some good and you deserve to have a good laugh don't you?
 virgiomonkey
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 12
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 6:33:07 PM
'I know some men think that they are sexier shirtless'.............. ...Haaaaa....I see you have 'assumed' again....Hmmmmmm..... .Woman are so good at 'Assuming'..
Right just to Clarify this one, on my 'Shirtless' Picture....Quite simple my Boss,and a very good friend as well, took that photo and dare me, and made a N.Z bet of $2000.00 that I wouldn't dare post that 'Shirtless' picture on a dating site....I accepted his bet....I only rule was ,I had to keep the 'Shirtless' picture on till Christmas day of 2009 ...And my Boss as lost the bet ....I will putting a new picture on in the new year,and with a 'Shirt' on....Happy now Lady......Will you feel 'Morally' happier now.....Excellent, I am so happy for you
As for your comment 'Venom'....Excuse me........Lady you think I was 'Venomous'....I haven't if started .......... ...

J.D
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 15
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 8:16:14 PM



Just think of his disappearing act as him realizing you were too good for him and he pulled himself out of the running. He did you a favor. He is a worthless cad... a rotten louse... an incredible jerk and he knew it. He felt he had no right to subject you to his useless self. And guess what? He was right!!!


......Whoa.......Go for it Lady....My...My....What a lovely 'Disposition' you have Lady ...Can't wait to meet your Sister/s ......Not.........!!!!....

J.D... ..... ...
Monkey, I actually do have a lovely disposition, thank you for noticing. If you could not understand that my advice to the lady was so she would feel better about herself, and the rude manner in which he dumped her, then you are truly thick. Also, why should she not think of him as a jerk, a cad and a louse? I think if a woman did such a thing to a man she should be classified that way also. It is rude, callous and downright cruel to treat another person in this manner and, unfortunately, it happens all too often. There are threads started every day about this very subject. I have no problem with stating how I feel about others who have so little regard for people's feelings. Perhaps you feel I was being too harsh because this maybe your modus operandi. Why else would you take offense at what I posted?

Goodonya for the bet.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 16
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/28/2009 9:36:09 PM

MissMewsic ... Really, how shocking! I would expect that someone as cultured and gracious as yourself would advise the OP to take the high road.

Well that was all tongue-in-cheek humor. But seriously I wouldn't lower myself to the drama queen stuff - I would take the high road and just walk away. He was the one in the wrong - keep it that way and you can hold your head high OP.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 17
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What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/29/2009 12:25:27 AM
newsflash people dont just wake up one day and decide to simply walk away from a good thing.
more often than not something was said or done that made any goodbyes redundant and if you have people poof`ing on you alot then the time has come to have a look at yourself and how you behave in relationships.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 19
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/29/2009 7:55:09 AM
newsflash people dont just wake up one day and decide to simply walk away from a good thing.


Yes they do.
Oh they may have their reasons but a lot of times it's for something as trivial as a woman having a bad hair day or one breast might be bigger than the other.


then the time has come to have a look at yourself and how you behave in relationships.

If a woman treats a man with respect and kindness I doubt that tearing herself apart trying to figure out what SHE did wrong is going to accomplish anything.
The guy's an azz who dodges intimacy and spineless for not being a man who is being honest with her if he didn't think it was working out. Maybe she put out too soon, or maybe she didn't put out at all. Hell, a woman can drive HERSELF crazy trying to read the mind of a sociopath. Wasted time.


more often than not something was said or done that made any goodbyes redundant

Possibly - If it was someone you just met on a bus or subway.

Wow - Doesn't justifying sociopathic behavior seem a little bit silly?

I still say there is a certain pleasure in confronting them, hopefully in person,
and unleashing your inner psycho**** verbally on them.
Hysterical tears crying and screaming at them is men's worst nightmare,
especially if there is an audience. Have fun with it.


Yes - but then you give him ammunition to say "Oh she's a crazy b*****" or build his ego more making him think he has a stalker.
Sure going off on someone that's hurt you is fun to think about, but maintaining your composure and exercising self control helps a woman to walk away with dignity and class, knowing you're better than them.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 20
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What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/29/2009 8:18:38 AM

I still say there is a certain pleasure in confronting them, hopefully in person,
and unleashing your inner psycho**** verbally on them.
Hysterical tears crying and screaming at them is men's worst nightmare,
especially if there is an audience. Have fun with it.
Well.. that strategy has caused woman to be in a catch 22 situation.. Men who have been subjected to that behaviour now choose to just go pooof instead of having to be on the receiving end of it. As such.. us calmer one's are left being painted with the same brush.. Crazy-b*tch behaviour is a can't win for losing tactic that begets a nano-second of ego-stroking retribution.. Best to be calm and as logical as possible when giving someone your peace of mind .. well, IMO anyway.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 21
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/29/2009 9:15:03 AM
ARGH!
Lots of people do this, it is more than just annoying, it is one of the most hurtful things (I'm not talking the "we had one date" guys, I'm talking the "we were together for three months" ones).

What kills me is they almost ALWAYS try to contact me again. It must be the holidays--or they can smell I'm single again--because TWO just contacted me this week.

I just ignored their texts. I don't care any more.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 23
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What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/30/2009 12:07:43 AM
the immortal words of the great Burton Cummings....

Stand tall, don't you fall
For God's sake don't go and do something foolish
All you're feeling right now is silly human pride
Oooooh, Stand tall, don't you fall
Don't you do something you might regret later
You're feelin' it like everyone, it's silly human pride

 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 25
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/30/2009 12:27:09 PM
I think people should do what feels good for them...and not worry
about the feelings of the person that hurt them.
Not saying you should turn into a raving lunatic...but yeah...sometimes
just letting the person know they hurt you and made you feel like crap
is a good thing.
Not sure why we think treating hurtful people with kid gloves is keeping
OUR dignity intact?
I think telling someone in calm rational tones that their behavior was
unacceptable puts the onus on them to at least think about behaving
better the next time around with someone else.
I can look someone in the eye...call them an asshat and still feel my dignity
is intact...but maybe that's just my incredible powers of deduction.

 quinn24
Joined: 12/12/2009
Msg: 27
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What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/30/2009 6:03:43 PM
I know its hard but keep him at arms length and he will retun...
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 28
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What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/30/2009 9:45:54 PM
Surely you have better things to do than worry about guys who dont call. Put on your big girl panties, and go on with your life. Watch out, next time, and dont give more of yourself, than you are being given.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 30
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/31/2009 11:04:17 AM

Then I throw darts at his picture.

Those pics come in handy for shooting practice too.
I get to be a better shot and he gets to carry on his with his clueless existence. It's a win/win situation.
 pingoo
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 31
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 1/1/2010 3:02:36 PM
LOL
THATS FUNNY WHO CARES,
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS MET SOME ONE YOUNGER , BETTER BODY ,BIGGER PACKAGE AND GIT OVER IT ,
I CAN HELP YOU WITH THIS PROBLEM THATS PRTTY BIG OF ME SINCE U TURNED ME DOWN FOR THE SAME GUY YOUR COMPLAINING ABOUT


 pingoo
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 32
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 1/1/2010 3:07:18 PM
ADVICE FROM ONE WOMEN TO EITHER ON HOW NOT TO LOOK CRAZY,
IT WAS THE FRIST DATE+ COFFEE IF SHES THIS UPSET SHES CRAZY
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 33
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 1/2/2010 12:33:45 PM

Why isnt that a possibility? Why on earth would a man dump a wonderful, sexy, giving, appreciative,feminine,non-angry-with-issues, non-take-for-granted woman?

WHY would he do that? for NO GOOD REASON?

Ummm-because he's dumber than a box of rocks?

It's just amazing that you obvious man-haters

Confucius say, "man who point finger has 3 fingers pointing back at him."
Oh yeah there's obvious hating going on here, but I don't think it's in anyway confined to women hating men.
As for the OT...this crap happens all the time,and isn't necessarily confined to people met via the 'net. To seek an opportunity to have the last word, or to get closure, or find out "what went wrong",all imply that you care. The trick with
Adventures in Modern Dating is to firmly control the speed that caring grows at...especially when it comes to men met via internet dating sites. Do not let yourself dream/plan too far ahead. Because although there are many really good people who use internet dating sites for more or less practical or positive reasons, it's not always easy to tell them from the damaged, the delusional, the "avengers", the unsingle cheaters. So he fell off the face of the Earth...well, then this relationship wasn't meant to be. Ranting at the guy solves exactly...what? Yeah, it might briefly make you feel better...sorta like lancing a boil on the butt of your psyche, I guess;but when you stop and realize that you've just revealed yourself as a someone who attaches a lot of importance to dating and relationships, that you probably came across as a 5 yr old princess having a temper tantrum, then that "feeling better" tends to lose some of its' shine.
Anyone, man or woman who is in a dating situation and then just withdraws/ceases communication, is either
A. Married and got caught
B. a coward
C. probably both.
Let it go, move on. Living well is the best revenge.
Cindy O
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 34
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What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 1/2/2010 1:28:44 PM

It's just amazing that you obvious man-haters wont consider the POSSIBILITY that she DESERVED to get dumped.
We're not the one's with the TURDY attitude in this thread.. By your convictions here, I'd logically have to come to the conclusion that you've disappeared on a damsel yourself.

No one is assuming that Op was blameless .. we're addressing the fact that the fvcktoid disappeared without even saying a thing. Nada, nothing, zip...

What, in your mind would be something Op could have done that would have resulted in him being justified to be so unkind? .. and .. If she did that 'thing' then why would she come here looking for adivce???
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 35
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What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 1/2/2010 5:29:32 PM
The dilema the oposter has shared is that the dude vanished into thin air and she's wondering what she can say to to him or, should she just not bother.


Umm.. EVERYONE is ignoring the point I made which is that she MIGHT be blameless. MOST posters on here present themselves in the most favorable light in their initial posting.
so, do you just assume that they are all lying then?
I've read enough where later on, when challenged by the disconnect in their story does their own participation-if-not-causation in their own problem crop up.
It would be prudent then to wait to post your point of view when she presents a reason to then. At the point of your posts ~ she had not presented any evidence correlating with your views.

It's there in many many posts.
It's not in THIS particular thread though.

It's from THAT where I presented my question.
Seems you jumped the gun a bit.

Notice how the haters STILL didnt consider that MAYBE it WAS her fault, but instead jumped on ME, as you did.
I prefer to react on whats presented. Or, at least try my best to. Nothing of the sort regarding what you've posted has been presented. Your presentation was based on logically fallacies.. not evidence. And, they were blaming a woman for the thoughtless actions of a man disappearing without ending things. Not cool. I know that if the OP was a man.. I would be saying the same thing about the woman that disappeared without the courtesy of a goodbye as well. Would you be saying the same thing to a male Oposter if it was the woman that disappeared without courtesy?
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