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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?      Home login  
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 CallmeKen
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 2
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Stop dating guys who are 80 years old with fortunes in the oil industry, and this won't happen, Anna Nicole.

Seriously, though, stress, exhaustion or anxiety can ... deflate the tire, as it were. Don't sweat it. Sex should be a mutual giving and receiving of pleasure / intimacy, not just "Hurry up and cum, American Idol's on." If he's having trouble, ask him to stop or decrease his frequency of masturbation, and engage in longer foreplay. If you do nothing BUT foreplay, that's good too. Build up to sex, don't just rush into the PIV.

And for God's sake, shoo the cat out of the room. Those glowing amber eyes staring at you in the dark are just creepy. I used to have a pet tarantula ("Smiley"). My ex-wife made me move it out of the bedroom - eight eyes watching her from a branch of driftwood were too much.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 6
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 3:29:04 AM
being over-weight and/or stress can cause complications like that.

So can poor blood circulation.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 9
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 5:09:06 AM
If any guy tells you 'it's you' - they are not capable of taking the resposibility to check into their own medical and phycological issues which may be holding them back.
You are not responsible for someone elses issues - especially physically!
Sure there may be things about other people that turns someone off - enough not to be sexually turned on - but they propbably wouldn't be naked with you to begin with!
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 13
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 7:19:33 AM
maybe the problem is you, in our culture, if a woman is not encouraged to be a 'great lover' maybe you lack experience and knowlege, do you just lay there,....... it could be that you are just a lazy lover
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 15
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 7:54:06 AM
its happened with 2 different men, then i think it might very well be you,currently we are living in an age where men, or boys your age are all over older women, cougars , i believe the reason for this is as a women ages and gains experience, she knows how to be a good lover, while younger women, are often very pretty, they lack in the experience, and passion department
this is not always the case, and it should not be this way, i was lucky, when i was your age, i had a great lover, who was just a bit younger, let me tell you she did not lack in anyway, the relationship lasted for years, and the sex just got better, the reason, she was open, and sexual, and also a great person
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 17
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 8:07:56 AM
I've had a similar experience... and from a 28 yo. What I observed from him is that he needed a steady stream of porn in order to get hard. It took him ages to cum. His idea of hard was not mine. The condoms kept sliding off. Was it me? Don't think so. I think he was just programmed for a very specific kind of stimulation... almost overloading himself. Without that... nothing worked the way it should have. I've seen similar in one other... but the lack of ability to cum was based on his masturbation style. He got plenty hard, just couldn't cum from oral.

The men blame the women. The women blame the men. Vicious circle.
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 18
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 9:03:45 AM
The actual reasons could be many and varied. You would need to discuss it with them wouldn't you?
Its interesting that it seems on two occasions there was only one chance.
Maybe you need to tell your dates to not jerk off before because they are going to get lucky tonight.
If your dating experience is longer term. Try making it more like a 3 course meal, than a would you like fries with that experience.
 tronvillain
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 22
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 9:41:24 AM
No, an inability to stay hard or cum can definitely be related to having masturbated beforehand, especially if it was more than a few times during the day. Alcohol and drugs can potentially be a factor, along with being extremely tired, or being sick. Perhaps both guys had a problem with finishing too quickly, masturbated to delay things, and then found they couldn't preform as a result? Did this lack of performance occur on a regular basis? I am personally going to blame the guys at this point, unless there is something unusually disturbing about having sex with you.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 33
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 2:41:09 PM
good for you op,saying your weight has anything to do with how good you are in bed has nothing to do with reality, after all both men where attracted enough to be in bed with you
i am one og the people that said it might be you, and it very well might be you
but i give you a lot of credit for asking, being open to suggestions, every bit of information and advise could help, it may very well be condoms as was mentioned, the important thing is not to feel bad about yourself, you seem like a lovely young lady,you are very pretty, and i gave no doubt at all that if you are not yet a good lover you really will be, i do not think being a bad lover is exclusive to women ,many many men only care about there needs
i really hope you find the answers, you are a worthwhile woman
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 35
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 2:57:08 PM

I should clarify, it's not that they weren't able to get hard, but it seemed like they couldn't stay fully hard (the last guy) and yeah, not being able to come. SO you're saying that it wasn't an excuse when they said it wasn't me, it was maybe that they had masturbated or something like that?


Probably too much porn and getting themselves off.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 46
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 6:22:15 PM

As a "fattie" who has had no issues with a man getting it up, keeping it up AND getting it up again and again...you're an a*hole!!!



AFL... I you.

I had to walk away when I read that first post Taylord made. I seriously was seeing red...
 tronvillain
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 47
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/3/2010 7:36:36 PM
Damn, that's what I get for posting on a Blackberry, quote commands didn't work. Anyway, Common_Goldfish:

<div class='quote'>Did you ever stop and think tayl0rd that you get as good as you give? Women get wet when they are aroused. You stop arousing them they stop producing lubrication. That tells us all a little something about whether or not you're a selfish lover, doesn't it?
While I am not super impressed with tayl0rd, I just thought I would point out that arousal does not necessarily result in lubrication, or at least in "sufficient" lubrication. A woman can be extremely turned on without being wet enough for sex - they make lube for a reason after all. *chuckle*
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 49
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/4/2010 1:18:00 AM
Well, young lady, I will do my best to explain some of the many things that can go on in a mans mind that can effect his performance....most of them are temporary and just depend on conditions more than anything else. First lets take a looks at a mans physical make up and how he differs from you in what emotions can be concealed. Have you ever heard the term "don't look down" if you are high from the ground? That's sort of what happens to a man when some small thing rattles his confidence with a new encounter. Both unfamiliar partners have little fleeting thoughts during the act, but a man knows that his will be physically noticeable. This alone causes him far more concern than the original thought that started it. This concern causes panic, and the whole mood comes crashing down. Usually, the original thought that triggered it was so small that he doesn't even know himself what happened, until he get's home and has time to evaluate it. This is why he gives you some BS excuse like he masturbated before the date. What man in his right mind is going to wear his willy out just before having a chance with a real woman? He tells you that to spare your feelings and put the blame on himself. I used the same BS excuse myself once when I was young and too dumb to realize the logic. O.K....now what could have gone wrong to trigger such a thing? My first guess would be a physical attraction with a personality difference. You are young and really don't know much about men and how they differ, anymore than a man your age knows about women. I can tell you a few things that shut me down in the past, and you can see if any of them fit what you experienced. A man has a fantasy of what you might be like in bed, and if the reality is a little off...his mental correction is enough to break his concentration enough to trigger the panic. I slept with a very sexy cougar once and every thing was just fine in the foreplay department. When we really got down to business, she started throwing all these compliments at me during the act. To me, it was like telling a house painter what a beautiful job he was doing after three strokes with the paint brush. It just seemed so premature and insincere that it bothered me and I totally lost it. Not only that, but she was building me up to something I was afraid I might not live up to, and it rattled my confidence. If she would have just shut up and kept the moans going...things would have been just fine. Another was this very attractive soft spoken, very feminine woman that just had me dreaming about slow wet kisses and sensual passion. Well...it started out that way and lasted until penetration. What happened after that really threw me. The mild mannered dreamy kitten turned into a foul mouth humping, clawing, screaming wildcat that shocked the hell out of me....do me here...do me there..do me everywhere. Shell shocked willy was messed up for months after that one. In short young lady, stay in sync with with your lover and don't make your sexuality intemidate or surprise him and don't overplay anything in the beginning. Allow him to lead as on a dance floor. It is better to hold back a little than to run off ahead of him. He wants to experience all the passion you have, but he needs to work for it to believe it's sincere. Sexually agressive women work fine for some men, but not most...unless they are the one that created the monster. If you don't think any of this could be the issue, you might look into the location to see if there is anything uncomfortable about....like an ex-bf stopping by or your phone ringing off the hook. It isn't odors or anything like that, because when we run across that one, we have to get up early in the morning and need to leave to get some sleep. You are too pretty for it to be anything else, so I suspect the answer has something to do with aggressiveness to some degree.....especially after reading your profile....you exude sexuality and are very confident about it.....maybe a little too much for some men.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 50
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/4/2010 1:39:20 AM
^^^^^Elgalawaat, the young lady is 23....she isn't dating worn out old farts like me and you
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 60
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/5/2010 12:55:00 AM
^^^^Some people do pick the right username!
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 66
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 1/5/2010 10:06:43 PM
One word..."issues". May you get over it or them and I don't mean it from a snarky perspective.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 67
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 5/4/2010 2:18:22 PM
I know this will sound funny, but the penis is connected to the brain. Seriously! It all comes down to a mans mood, energy levels and how comfortable he feels. The latter pertaining to nerves. If he's nervous up tight or scared, it will likely interfere.
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 68
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 5/4/2010 10:23:40 PM
"It all comes down to a mans mood, energy levels and how comfortable he feels"

wrong.

much ED is due to biochemical/cardiovascular/metabolic dysfunction.
 lateā„¢
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 69
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 5/4/2010 11:02:31 PM
Ummm

You're a nurse right? You don't have a ton of medical books at your disposal?

They were giving you the truth. Here are a few reasons it happens...

sometimes age (NOT ALWAYS)
alcohol (whiskey d**k is not good)
weight
being too tired
being overly excited
too much spanking the monkey
diabetic
meds that he is taking

Slow down. Sex isn't a race nd again, if you really are a nurse you would know more about male physiology than some men do!!!


Out of the 25 posts on the previous pages, post #9 ^^^^ is the one to pay attention to.
 zipdy
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 70
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 5/5/2010 7:51:03 AM
cialis, viagra and levitra will prevent you from cumming.

it blocks the orgasm trigger but on the other hand turns 60 yr old men into super hard supermen that lasts and lasts.
 BlueEyedGuy1974
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 71
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 6/6/2010 12:45:11 PM
I do find the Condoms put a serious damper on keeping me hard and making it harder for me to cum. I'm not condoning that you should go without condoms if it isn't safe though.

Anotherthing I have found is I will never come from the slow love making type of sex. From that style I could **** for 5 hours and never even come close to cumming. For me I have to pound her fast and hard. There is no other way around it.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 72
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 6/6/2010 2:03:22 PM
As I've said in previous thread responses, drugs can often play a roll here. Both prescription and narcotic. It could also be life stress's such as work, exhaustion from work and so on. A mans mental state can have a huge influence on his sexual performance. It could be a combination of what I mentioned and more. If the men you refered to, are otherwise young and healthy, it's probably not what they said. That's probably a concocted tail to cover for something else perhaps more personal.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 73
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 6/11/2010 3:44:27 AM
Because they jerk off too much.
 naturallydeselected
Joined: 6/6/2010
Msg: 76
what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 6/12/2010 7:50:44 AM
Go out during the week and pick up 4 different random guys.
If all 4 lose their erection with you during sex then it's you.
 roadglide5
Joined: 4/22/2010
Msg: 77
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what are the real reasons why a guy can't get hard/cum?
Posted: 4/22/2011 11:33:55 PM
I am 63 ! have asked the doctor and he said its the meds. I take ! I even have tryed the little blue pill ,won't stay hard and won't cum . It has gotten to the point I will not ask a woman to have sex with me , IT IS A VERY BIG THING FOR A MAN NOT TO BE ABLE TO KEEP A HARD-ON OR CUM . Makes you feel less of a man . I have been with 2 women in the last 5 years ,and won't try any more !
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