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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?      Home login  
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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 7
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I agree, it is horrible.

But I have some bad news, this is not unique of men. Women are as bad. With horrible punctuation. The thing is this. English is NOT my main language, this is my second language. My main language is Spanish. And I was for many years horrible with English.
I am still make a ton of mistakes. But at least I can communicate. Meaniy of thes people simply da not try, u can't spek or comunicate by eggroring basic thins.

Bhah.

That even hurt my tongue.
The worst part is that some of the people speaking that bad, are English majors, teach English in some middle school or even have masters. Go figure.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 10
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 6:48:17 PM
In my opinion, I think a lot of it is just plain laziness. For instance, those that use "U" for "you" and "your" for "you're" really get on my nerves. If a college graduate or above is just making a half-assed effort to spell the words out correctly, then it's more than likely that they're only going to make a half-assed effort at building a relationship.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 11
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 7:18:42 PM
I grew up with a father that is an inventor.
His name is on numerous patents (every time you hit search/scan on your radio, you can thank him!) and his intelligence is astounding.
He is kind, compassionate, generous, respectful, funny and treated my mother like a queen.
And he can't spell worth a damn!
I learned from a young age to not judge a person by their spelling and writing abilities.

I also work with a great number of Vietnam Veterans that went to war instead of finishing high school. And this was after missing a fair amount of school to work on the family farm ( which was allowed back then).
These men aren't school "educated"......but are still great men.

I also know that some of the men here......are first time computer users.
They have never typed before.....and are just learning how to use these
"fandangled contraptions" as one aptly put it!
I'd bet half of them have no idea about spellcheckers!!

My point......don't judge a book by it's cover....
cuz if you think about.....that's all these little profiles of our's are.....
just a little glimpse into the real person behind the profile.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:16:21 PM
People with weak writing abilities may or may not be just as informed and intelligent as those with those skills, but it makes it harder to tell. Spelling is pretty hard for me, and I read and write a great deal. Spellcheck often makes me near nuts, when it underlines a word I typed, I guess an alternate, get that wrong too, and have to look up the damn word online or even in a hard copy dictionary, so I don't get down on spelling errors, unless it's on an official document.
When someone writes badly enough that I don't even know what they said, it's a problem.
Some folks have posted on the forums, and had multiple requests for deletion because their style was very confusing.
I do try to keep in mind the plight of people with cerebral palsy, and other such conditions, which can make them appear to be mentally retarded, when they just have a distorted voice, and facial muscle control problems.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 16
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:18:34 PM
At the same time as I bemoan the apparent reduction in writing skill through out the world, I also wonder if the problem isn't just that new technology allows all the not-so-literate of us to reach a public forum as never before.
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 17
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:27:09 PM
My pet peeve is when people email as if they are texting.
I hate deciphering text as code.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 18
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:35:04 PM

At the same time as I bemoan the apparent reduction in writing skill through out the world, I also wonder if the problem isn't just that new technology allows all the not-so-literate of us to reach a public forum as never before.


Bingo, thus the glass is not half empty, but half full.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 20
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 10:15:37 PM
Intellectually I know that there are good, intelligent people who don't write well.

My best friend is one of them. He is very smart, but is dyslexic and writes like a retarded 5 year old.

That said, even knowing this...

I am attracted to women who write well. I don't care if a girl is STUNNING looking and very sweet... if she types like an idiot or her profile is in all caps, I will walk.

It's definitely a deal breaker for me if a woman types like she is not educated.

-8sf8
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 21
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 10:38:47 PM
I don't think it is a problem that can be sized down to a region, age group, or community. Bad communication skills in any form seem to be running rampant. But I agree that in a profile, or a first messge it can be damning.

I understand that for some English is a second language, or they may not be able to express themselves clearly in the written word or may have a learning disability, BUT if you are trying to make a good impression and are aware of your shortcomings, why not work at making it better?

I don't trust spell check 100%, it is a help, but it will also tell you to replace d i c kless with deckles. If you choose to engage in an area that is text/written word driven, you need to work on making the best impression you can. Use the tools available(spell check, dictionary, etc.) to make that form of communication work for you.

I don't think poor skills with a written word indicate poor intelligence or human skills, but it can indicate a laziness in working to improve. After all if they are too lazy to make sure to type a coherant messege to you, how else would they be lazy in connection to you?
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 22
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 11:00:25 PM
Basic language skills is lacking anymore cause so many prefer to text speak. With people on the Internet, I see alot of run on sentences.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 24
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/9/2010 11:21:55 PM
It's not much a person's ability in writing or spelling for me, it's the fact that even if you can't do one or both there's a way to correct it and at least look like you can so that you make a good impression. The fact that people can go to so many places these days to spellcheck and review what they do write so they can appear smarter is the issue. People can but just don't.

There's really no reason in today's world to have to submit something with bad spelling or grammar, unless you just don't care. Not being able to spell or write used to be a secret that people were ashamed of and they spent a lot of time privately trying to correct so no one would realize it. Now people just expect others to give them space on it and don't seem to have any interest in bettering themselves.

Seems like when schools were a priveledge people fought to be able to attend one (some died fighting), the public library used to be a great place to quietly learn anything you wanted to. The more recent history gets, the more opportunity there is to learn just about any time of day or place, and the less desire people have to utilize any of it.
 *november babee*
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 30
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/10/2010 6:04:59 AM
IMO..

there are more important things to worry about than the occasional missing comma or fullstop... or whether he capitalized as he signed his name, or if he misspelt the odd word..

is he/she a good person..?
is he/she loyal and trustworthy..?
does he /she treat you with respect..?
do you fancy the pants of him/her...?
is he/she a hard worker..?
honest, reliable, fun to be with...?

now those things are more important to me that wether he can spell right....
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 36
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/10/2010 1:19:42 PM
people put way too much emphasis on tiny issues of writing. i wonder how many of these people, working so hard to disqualify their dating candidates, are the ones complaining they can't find suitable people to date.
 melissa0607
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 50
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/10/2010 4:19:26 PM
JCO415,

It seems that you and I tend to have the same line of thinking in most of these threads. I picked out the same things in that post with the there/their. I did look up criticise/criticize beforehand. It can be spelled either way, although I would normally use the Z, I just kind of followed suit at that point. I think you might be one of the smartest most down to earth guys in the forums (no offense to the rest of you, it's just my opinion). I was going to write to you privately to tell you this but with the mail restrictions I cannot as I do smoke occasionally. (bad habit, really need to quit. I smoke so little most people don't even know, but still hard to quit. lol)

Just as an added bonus for people to go crazy about, the other one that drives me crazy is to/too. It's not so hard to figure out, use the right one!
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 51
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/10/2010 6:23:25 PM
To all my like-minded souls in this thread who are turned off by illiteracy and overall stupidity...

Imagine how I felt after living in West Virginia for over a year. It gave me like... dating PTSD and I wanted to shoot myself. It's that bad.

:(

I will still have nightmares. In my nightmares, several fat blond women who are missing teeth and carrying illigitimate babies chase me while shouting. Their hooting hollars are full of bad grammar, terrible accents, and laced with profanity.

::shudder::

-8sf8
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 55
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/10/2010 7:42:11 PM
My opinion is that it is not specific to an age group or area. As much as I want to believe that there are different "brands" of intelligence, I have found that, for me, those who cannot spell, or lack grammar are not a good match for me. Thus, my profile. Opposites attract only to a degree, imho.
 Kimberish925
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 57
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/10/2010 7:47:50 PM
I think there are big differences between those that are grammatically challenged or just plain lazy or English is simply not their first language. I think you can tell the difference between the styles. I am forgiving to a point on this issue.

Personally, if the first impression is going to be judged on what you have written whether in a profile or e-mail I think you should take the time to make sure that at the very least you have used proper punctuation, capitalization and for God's sake learn to write in paragraphs.

I see it like this...I take the time to read over what I have written and make sure it makes some sort of sense and is well written. I would expect the same or we may not be on the same level. I don't or rarely use text speak even when texting and when it's used in e-mail it makes me crazy.
 AsharpTechie
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 62
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/10/2010 9:20:33 PM
"grey=gray" - Actually Webster's dictionary lists both of these as an acceptable spelling. Though I still see Gray as being the correct way.

But yes, the amount of people online that have a complete and total inability to spell correctly is astounding. I don't know whether it's a general indifference, or just laziness, or even total and complete ineptitude.

But, that's the internet for you.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 66
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/11/2010 6:18:01 AM

I'm sure you've got friends who text and email with abbreviated misuse of the english language? When was the last time you received a hand-written letter from a friend??


The vast majority of my friends refrain from misuse of the English language even in texts and emails, and I'm 19 - my friends and I grew up texting/emailing each other since our early teens. Although I rarely receive hand-written letters, any letters/emails I do receive are more often than not written with the correct usage of the English language, and not "text speak".

The whole point of "text speak" originally was to save money on mobile phone bills due to the character limit. In emails and letters, this simply isn't necessary; I don't even like it (or use it) in text messages to be honest, except when very low on credit. If I don't like "text speak" in actual text messages, then I'm not going to put up with it in emails and other forms of communication, where there is absolutely no call for it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 68
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/11/2010 6:38:30 AM

I do hate to be petty but if you are to be so ungracious towards guys who have given up there valuable time to write to you, as to criticise there English could I point out that your opening sentence "the incidence of illiterate men who write me," should be write to me(-:
but I wish you well!

No, actually it is "write me". The "to" is implied...and BTW, if a guy's time is that valuable but his interest in making an impression isn't, I suggest he save time and not bother altogether. He's not doing anyone a favor by sending messages.

Help people learn .

People are here to date and make connections, not tutor. There are people out there who do tutor primarily though as part of their job (or they volunteer). They probably won't want to date you. The two aren't connected.

Some have little knowledge in computers,

So? Keyboards and typewriters aren't that different. If you can type you can use either one. Spelling and grammar has nothing to do with computer savvy.

others do not know what to say

That's a social skill issue and one again, doesn't have squat to do with spelling and grammar. People who don't know what to say here don't know what to say anywhere - so they need to figure out what to say, not how to spell it.

and others are so lazy to write anything.....

Obviously a lot of people are. That's the point of the thread.

I maintain that asking for at least a sixth grade grasp on spelling and grammar is NOT too much to ask from a bunch of adults. If they can't grasp it, they need to have an awareness of it and be making a current effort to try to learn it and want to edit themselves. If that desire to at least want to know how to write or look good is missing, then I'm not interested.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 69
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/11/2010 8:00:22 AM

I maintain that asking for at least a sixth grade grasp on spelling and grammar is NOT too much to ask from a bunch of adults. If they can't grasp it, they need to have an awareness of it and be making a current effort to try to learn it and want to edit themselves. If that desire to at least want to know how to write or look good is missing, then I'm not interested.


Ditto. If they don't care enough to do the required work to make a good impression on me, then they shouldn't complain when I'm not impressed with them.
 melissa0607
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 71
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/11/2010 8:46:22 AM
breath,

LMAO. I was trying really hard not to go there. Is this the funniest thing ever? (well I'm exaggerating a little, but it is pretty damn funy) To come into a thread on a subject such as we have here and to write that nearly had me falling off of my chair. The thing is I think she is completely serious. You have to wonder about people huh?
 melissa0607
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 74
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/11/2010 8:58:44 AM
akamyrna,

ok, I think you are right about this one. Funny because normally if I question anything someone says I would go look at the profile first. I guess where this one didn't come across as a joke in any way I didn't bother. That'll teach me.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 76
Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/11/2010 12:53:40 PM

English is my fourth language, I can speak a dozen languages well along with excellent dialect, ask me to write in English and proper grammar,I have a very hard time with it.



I think it's very impressive that you are multilingual, but I think the OP was directing this thread at those whose first language IS English.
 nnb9251
Joined: 12/10/2009
Msg: 83
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Lack of basic language skills stunning! Is it my age group or area?
Posted: 1/12/2010 10:00:25 AM
OP-You are absolutely not alone and it's not just your age bracket. I absolutely can not stnad it when some one sends me a message and soes not use proper English! It bugs me to no end. I sometime scringe when I'm reading some of the messages that are sent to me. Lol. So just a hint for everyone reading; please use proper grammar!!
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