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 Hottie2828
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 1
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Okay I want to know how you guys feel about serial daters...Lets get real these days and times guys dont want to share the girl he has interest in and the girl feels the same way. So if you are dating a girl and she tells you shes dating another guy what do you do and say? And vice versa! So confused on how it would be okay for a guy to date multiple girls and tell the girl that he doesnt want to share but its ready for it to be exclusive?
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 2
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:31:00 AM
I honestly think serial dating is very wrong. If someone is on a date with me it is because they like me that much and can only see being with me as the option because I am just that good of a person. The way I see it is if the someone is only going to make me an option in there dating pool then I am not going to make them a priority and if I can't make them a priority then I move on.

I refuse to be second choice to anyone if the other options fall through.


 Eyes O Blue 2
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 3
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:36:18 AM
I wouldn't be interested in dating a woman who was dating one or dozens more guys.

But that's just me.

I prefer to date one person at a time to focus on them and see if things progress. But again, that's just me.

 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 4
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:37:26 AM
If the woman looks like the OP's initial photo...whatcha gonna do? :)

seriously, people will rationalize anything. I've had women tell me they won't date a player..but then date one that's hot, which impresses their friends and raises their social value.

a human who wants his cake, and eat it too? Well, what does that tell you about the guy? And the gal who finds him attractive after all that? what's she looking for in a relationship, if the belief systems don't match? the same type of rationalizing?
 Hottie2828
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 5
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:38:20 AM
Thanks guys! Its always nice to hear a guys opinion...How do you tell if they are being honest about dating other girls?
 StuVaBch
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 6
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:39:26 AM
If a girl tells me she is dating another guy.. we're done. If she is going to date other guys before we determine we are exclusive, she should shut up about it.

I "meet" multiple women since most of theses things never get past the first date... but once I start actually dating someone, I don't see anyone else by personal choice.


How do you tell if they are being honest about dating other girls?

You really can't.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 7
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:42:05 AM
Why is anybody "telling" anyone anything if you're just dating?
Drama!!
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 8
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Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:44:30 AM
I wouldn't care if you were dating other guys - until we decide to become exclusive, dating is for deciding who may be the best match, and even for figuring out what you want from a relationship. I'd rather you pick someone else if they're a better match! Likewise, I date to find out if someone is a good match or not, and if there are several good prospects available at the same time, of course I want to get to know all of them before deciding.

I think it's the people with too little confidence in their ability to attract and keep a date that want to limit your opportunities to meet someone better suited. Of course, at some point you make a choice, and don't date or meet others - at that point, you've agreed to be exclusive and see if that works for the long-term.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 9
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Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:45:08 AM
Why is anybody "telling" anyone anything if you' re just dating


Exactly. Any man or woman bragging about or talking about another person while on a date is just boring. Don't kiss and tell!
If a man asked me if I was dating others I'd reply "Why, are we exclusive ?"
 somephxguy
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 10
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:47:14 AM

if you are dating a girl and she tells you shes dating another guy what do you do and say?

Best of luck to her, it means we have completely different personalities which means we simply aren't compatible in the long run, so best to end it now.


how it would be okay for a guy to date multiple girls and tell the girl that he doesnt want to share but its ready for it to be exclusive?

That's not all that clear on what's going on.

That doesn't sound like a serial dater, it sounds more like a user or an a-hole.
Or someone that is simply looking to make people an extension of themselves.
"I want to weigh all my options to figure what's best for me, and from whom I can get the most, but in the meantime I want you focused solely on showing me what you can offer to me and then I will make my decision. You are at mercy of my whims and decisions."

Unless he is dating multiple girls but will stop dating the multiples if the one he is having that conversation with commits first? IOW "I am dating multiple people, but I am ready for exclusivity, and will stop dating a bunch of people if you commit to being exclusive first."
Then he seems to simply be trying to control the relationship. Or have an "upper hand."
 green.apple
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 11
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Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:48:35 AM
Serial dating is like having your plate too full and you eat until you start puking.
 cherylbarnes
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 12
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:05:48 AM
Serial dating is completely the wrong word to describe people that date more than one person at a time. Serial killers hunt down and kill ONE person at a time.
 Hottie2828
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 13
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:08:47 AM
They kill one person at a time but multiple in a short time period.
 singleagain66
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 14
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:12:10 AM
Well me OP things have to be up front in whats going on because if she is not out to be with just me I move one but and I say but may matain a friendship and nothing more. And me I am not a serial dater so thats something a female will not have to worry about with me.

Now excuse me am going back to
 Artemis2009
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 15
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Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:12:47 AM
If I wasn't in an exclusive relationship with someone, I'd assume that they would be dating others and I wouldn't see the necessity to discuss it.
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 16
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Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:14:09 AM
Serial daters suck. On both sides. Men AND women.

Women because they're little more than date whores to me at that point. Men because they're playing options and if one doesn't "give it up" then he has standbys.

To me, if a mutual "interest" is displayed, or Hell, even talked about openly...then the woman and the man should more or less remove themselves from "the market" and explore the possibility of a relationship between themselves. Explore that mutual "interest" and see if there's more to it. If there is, great. If not, then part and go back on "the market".

Playing all sides of the field at once is just bad form. No one really wants to be "one of many". There's nothing wrong with expecting one to shit or get off the pot. If you really like me, then like me and just me. If I really like you, then I should like you and just you. Neither one of us should have standbys. Plan B's. That's just bad form.

And OP, the last part of your post where you mentioned if it's "ok" for a man to keep his options open but he doesn't wanna share YOU and limits YOUR options...that's NEVER ok. That's a hypocrite and power tripper. Ego maniac. A woman or a man can't play the field but expect the other to not do likewise. That's just rank. If it's good enough for one, then it's good enough for the other with no exceptions. If she wants to keep her options open but says I can't or shouldn't because she doesn't like to share...then she either stops too, or she can just watch me leave. I'm not gonna be "one of many". Not gonna be part of her "he-harem". Just like I wouldn't expect her to be part of my harem.

Play by fair rules of engagement, or don't. But don't expect it all and give nothing back.

JMO.
 cherylbarnes
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 17
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:15:39 AM

They kill one person at a time but multiple in a short time period.


Also untrue. One a year or less. Some serial killers go into a killing spree, but that's another subject.

What you refer to should be called mass dating.
 savepolarbears
Joined: 12/27/2009
Msg: 18
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:22:32 AM
maybe someone tells me when it's good time to talk about stopping dating others.
If someone tells me not to date others after couple of dates, I would think of him a control freak for sure.

I am not a serial dater (I am simply too lazy for that) but if anyone tries to tell me what to do by his rules, it's gonna be the last time he could hear from me.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 19
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:29:41 AM

maybe someone tells me when it's good time to talk about stopping dating others.


Right from Date 1 you shouldn't be dating anyone else because you like that person that much otherwise why be on the date with that person.

The way I see it is if my date is only going to make me an option in there dating pool then I am not going to make them a priority and if I can't make them a priority then I move on.



If someone tells me not to date others after couple of dates, I would think of him a control freak for sure.

I am not a serial dater (I am simply too lazy for that) but if anyone who tries to tell me what to do by his rules, it's gonna be the last time he could hear from me.


With what you just said I would classify you as a serial dater.
 savepolarbears
Joined: 12/27/2009
Msg: 20
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:35:18 AM
^^^^
oh yeah and you are a total control freak!
 gycraig2
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 21
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:38:22 AM
apollo u having a laugh m8 ??? from the first date haha ur funny

so a girl is meant to know shes interested in u and cancel any other dates before shes even met you ?? nahhhh cant see it m8

bout serial daters i was a serial dater then i met my current girlfriend who blew me away i had 2 dates organized the week after i met my current girlfriend i cancelled there dates because my gf blew me out of the water.

i liked my gf so much after the first date i wanted to focus on her and get to know her so i cancelled my other dates, if she hadnt blown me out of the water id probably still be dating now

nothing wrong with serial dating, when your looking for a house do you take the first house u see, no you play the field for a bit and look at your options

till they want exclusivity and you do nothing wrong with playing the field, unless your that insecure they gonna find someone better ?
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 22
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:41:46 AM
savepolarbears^^^^^No I just want my date to have respect for me and to show interest in me. asking for a reasonable amount of respect is not being controlling.
 Hottie2828
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 23
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:44:39 AM
Either way we want to classify it its mass dating serial dating whatever...And I told him I didnt want to share either. Its hard to find a guy that seems to have his head screwed on straight and something going for him in life. He hasnt been on here in a few days so I guess I should feel better about the situation.
 CommonSensible
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 24
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:47:21 AM
ANOTHER attention-trolling post. Why doesnt the post delete come up anymore?

It's OK for a guy to date as many as he wants. It's also ok for a woman to say "no thanks" to being one of the herd. Why are you confused? Make a MATURE & ADULT decision on whether or not you want to be a part of his harem/herd.

Make the decision withOUT asking for help on a forum full of strangers. MATURE people dont need the advice of strangers.

Or better yet, stop dating and focus on raising those two kids that were made within an IMMATURE relationship that didnt last.
 StuVaBch
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 25
Serial Daters...Deal With It Or No??
Posted: 1/21/2010 10:47:54 AM

If someone tells me not to date others after couple of dates, I would think of him a control freak for sure.

What is wrong with you? It has nothing to do with control. People (both men and women) like to think they are a priority rather than simply an option.

If a guy doesn't want you to date other people... well.. that's the exclusive talk. If you don't want to be exclusive after a couple of dates then be honest about it.
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