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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a ho      Home login  
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 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 1
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?Page 1 of 1    
Hi guys, a question...

I dance as a hobby - ballroom, salsa, and swing dance. Usually I do this type of dancing once a week, and I'd like to continue doing it whether or not I get into a relationship. If my s/o would like to take up this hobby with me, that's a plus, but it's perfectly ok if he doesn't.

Let me clarify, I mean that I take lessons and I go to venues that cater to people who have trained in these styles of dance. Usually the dance events are at a dance studio and there is no alcohol. Most of the people are already friends with each other and it is considered proper etiquette to dance with many different people. There is no romance or pickups involved; in fact some of the guys I dance with are married. It doesn't matter; basically you dance with the person, say thank you at the end of the song, and then walk away. There is nothing more involved, and I am not attracted to my dance partners. It's just a fun activity, basically like being in a band or playing a sport with other people.

What I am trying to say is that trained dancing as a hobby is 180 degrees opposite from a bar scene, and if I get into a relationship, my s/o can gladly come to one of these events and see that for himself. Given that, my question is, would you object, or get upset, if your g/f does this as a hobby?
 somephxguy
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 2
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 9:58:25 AM

Given that, my question is, would you object, or get upset, if your g/f does this as a hobby?

Only if she constantly pursued me to participate or care about it.
I have no desire to watch people dance, or to dance myself.
She will go dancing, I will go to the range.
If she had no problem that I have absolutely zero to negative interest in dancing or that particular hobby then I wouldn't think twice about it.
 ~~starlight~~
Joined: 11/28/2008
Msg: 3
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Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 10:00:49 AM
IMO it would be a great weeding out tool. If a guy starts asking weird questions or is uncomfortable about you dancing with another man~~besides him?? from the get go??? More than likely he has jealousy/insecurity problems.
 txredbull
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 4
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Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 10:04:21 AM
Thats a great hobby. You get lots of healthy exercise. Unless your dancing nude, good for you.

Don't ever let any relationship dictate "who you are" and "what you do". Relationships are not about "control".
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 5
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 10:05:02 AM
Well, naturally a guy is not going to be happy that some other guy is dancing with his girl. While all the women I know like to dance, you get a lot more salsa type dancing interests from Spanish women, you must take that into account when you ask them to date, IMO. So, yes, we don't like you dancing with someone else but I don't think guys would object under those circumstances unless it was to show you they cared.
 StuVaBch
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 6
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 11:10:17 AM

Given that, my question is, would you object, or get upset

Get upset... no.. object? Well, let's put it this way..

I stopped seeing someone for a similar reason. Not because she was dancing with other men but simply that she was very interested in something that took a good deal of her time where I had absolutely no interest.

I kind of think early on in a relationship if you don't like to do similar things and do them together, it really isn't going to work.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 7
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Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 11:20:40 AM
It would benefit you to find someone that enjoys what you do, if you do it that much, or friction can and will occur sooner or later just by the nature of doing things separately that you could be doing together.

I have the same problem at times with those women that prefer not to ride with me my motorcycle, and yet feel left alone when I venture off to ride and explore with others that enjoy riding as much as I do.

What it has done for me, is to make sure that I have it stated in my profile, or mention it when I meet someone new, because if they are not interested in doing what I enjoy, we will have problems sooner or later. This goes for scuba diving and the hiking that I do as well, and if I am around someone that does not like adventures, we will be apart most of the time.

Go find a dancer OP, and teach him to share with you what you enjoy, but never force him.

cd...........
 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 8
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 11:24:14 AM
Get upset... no.. object? Well, let's put it this way..

I stopped seeing someone for a similar reason. Not because she was dancing with other men but simply that she was very interested in something that took a good deal of her time where I had absolutely no interest.

I kind of think early on in a relationship if you don't like to do similar things and do them together, it really isn't going to work.


If your ex g/f was out dancing 4, 5 nights a week or more, had absolutely nothing in common with you, and also didn't want to make time to date you, I would understand the problem there. But if someone has a hobby they pursue one or two nights a week, and they still make sure to spend plenty of time with you and share other interests, that should not be a problem, I think. It's not as if dancing is my only activity. I have plenty of other interests that I enjoy and could share with someone.


Go find a dancer OP

Well you see, that's a problem. As mentioned, I'm not attracted to my dance partners, and besides, a good many of them are already in relationships and unavailable. Besides, if you decide to date a dance partner, and then it doesn't work out, you'll still run into them at various dance venues (the world of ballroom and salsa dancers is a small one) and that could get awkward - it's kind of the same pitfall as dating someone you work with. I've been dancing as a serious hobby for three years now, and have not had even one relationship result from it. So I have needed to cast my net elsewhere.
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 11:31:26 AM
what? a woman with a hobby of her own, especially one that makes her happy and keeps her butt firm? off with her head! she must attend only to my interests, until i need to do something else, then she must leave until i summon her!
 tjl2280
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 10
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 11:40:29 AM
When you get into a relationship everyone makes sacrifices but cutting something off that you love doing is not acceptable. Don't let any guy stop you from doing the things you like, if he has a problem with your hobbies then find someone who will. I wan't my gf to do all the things she loves doing as long as she can still make time for me, everyone needs some time to their self. I would encourage you to continue dancing.
 Teddymunch
Joined: 1/16/2010
Msg: 11
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 12:05:21 PM
Why would I mind? Somebody would have to be either really insecure or quite the control freak to try and stop you.
 StuVaBch
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 12
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 12:22:06 PM

if someone has a hobby they pursue one or two nights a week ....that should not be a problem

Maybe it won't be a problem... what I know is this:

There are basically 3 arguments in a relationship: 1) sex 2) money and 3) free time...

You are intruding on one of the big three. Now, all these guys might say it doesn't matter and how they would support you etc... but I'm telling you that if the guy isn't into this .... there is going to be a problem unless you ok him going to a strip bar or something during that same time period.
 CommonSensible
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 13
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 12:25:48 PM
I'd only object if she didnt want to help ME learn so I could dance with her.

I've been searching for a dance partner for some time now.

Ballroom dancing is SO NOT a pickup dance venue. People there are serious about perfecting their dancing skills to be good enough to dance with ANY good dancer.

As sexy as it is to watch on the shows.. it's also focused and hard work.
 StuVaBch
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 14
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 12:31:08 PM

Ballroom dancing is SO NOT a pickup dance venue.

Sorry, this is SO NOT true..

My brother swears he has better luck there than he does with online dating.
 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 15
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 12:36:41 PM
so, true, commonsensible...and if we weren't on opposite coasts I'd ask you to save me a dance.

And StuVaBch, wow, I don't know what to say. Dancing platonically with friends (at events that my s/o is welcome to attend if he wants to) is a whole universe different from a guy going to a strip bar, getting drunk and ogling/getting aroused by nearly naked women. I don't see how the two equate. In any case, I realize there are some people who insist their s/o spend seven nights a week with them and not have outside hobbies. I'm not one of those people.

As for your brother, StuVaBch, we already know that the odds are stacked against men in online dating, while they face very favorable chances at ballroom dancing, since there are usually many extra ladies. Plus, if the guy is handsome and a good dancer, the women are likely to feel "swept off their feet". Whereas, a good female dancer can be intimidating to some of the guys. So, a single woman at a ballroom dance has the odds against her if she's hoping to find a date.
 StuVaBch
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 16
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 12:41:02 PM

I realize there are some people who insist their s/o spend seven nights a week with them and not have outside hobbies. I'm not one of those people.

You asked the question and I answered it. If you were just looking for confirmation as to what you thought.. why bother?
 Teddymunch
Joined: 1/16/2010
Msg: 17
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 1:04:29 PM

Dancing platonically with friends (at events that my s/o is welcome to attend if he wants to) is a whole universe different from a guy going to a strip bar, getting drunk and ogling/getting aroused by nearly naked women. I don't see how the two equate.


I don't really see how they equate either but I nor do I think that it should be a big deal if a man enjoys to go to a strip bar with his friends. He probably stands less chances of cheating with a stripper than you do with one of your partners.


The dancing would probably equate more to your guy teaching yoga sessions or something of the sort.
 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 18
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 1:14:24 PM

I don't really see how they equate either but I nor do I think that it should be a big deal if a man enjoys to go to a strip bar with his friends. He probably stands less chances of cheating with a stripper than you do with one of your partners.

The dancing would probably equate more to your guy teaching yoga sessions or something of the sort.


I don't see a big deal if my guy either visits a strip club or teaches yoga and I agree. My question came about because of the way dancing is viewed in the bar scene and as portrayed in movies, as always being a prelude to romance or getting picked up. I felt I needed to explain that, when dance is a serious hobby, it's an artistic interest, not a romantic one and that hopefully a guy should therefore not feel threatened or jealous if his girlfriend does it.
 rickxyz
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 19
Guys, would you object if your GF did ballroom or salsa dance as a hobby?
Posted: 1/22/2010 1:49:19 PM
This is funny, I dance with women like you, I see alot of women who drag their husbands to the class too, but at the end of the day, its a hobby you want to pursue, so just do it. I will say I took up dance classes to make my GF happy, and its pretty fun, its very unlike the bar scene, people are serious about dancing, and as you know its not productive to drink before a complex routine.... its good clean fun.
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