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 latin9999
Joined: 5/5/2009
Msg: 1
MEN THE DOUBLE STANDARDPage 1 of 1    
Guys I need your opinion:

I have 2 brothers and several good male friends.
When I am dating a new guy I tell them about my new guy; so my brothers
and friends usually want to know what this guy have going on. He has to own a house,
have a good job, drive a decent car and be good looking. If the new guy does not satisfied my friends expectations, they would have a bad opinion of him and tell me “he is not good enough” “he is a loser”. why ?? ?? ??

Also my boyfriends are always “too ugly for me” according to my friends.

But when my brothers/friends are dating, if they have the feeling that the girl
are with them because they have good jobs and nice houses, or because of
looks, they thing bad of them, “gold diggers””superficial bch” . why ?? ?? ??

According to my brothers I should shoot for a wealthy and good looking guy,
but the women they want, should not think the same way?? why??





luv u all
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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MEN THE DOUBLE STANDARD
Posted: 1/27/2010 2:30:25 PM
It's just who they are. They are double-standard men. There are a LOT of them in the world. Also, the ones who see themselves as your protectors, will try to be such, by steering you away of MEN SUCH AS THEY ARE.
No doubt your brothers and friends are NOT currently looking for WIVES, so their choices will be different than when they ARE. This is also a sort of a double standard, in that SOME men feel the rules of good behavior and honor do not apply when they are "just dating"(looking for temporary fun), but demand that they do, as soon as they get serious.
 Cedarwinds
Joined: 1/6/2010
Msg: 3
MEN THE DOUBLE STANDARD
Posted: 1/27/2010 2:34:35 PM
I have ..several good male friends....Great, that only means you have "Several males who want to have sex with you but you're not interested.

When I am dating a new guy I tell them about my new guy; so my brothers
and friends usually want to know what this guy have going on.
...Your brothers are being protective, your "Male friends you won't have sex with" want to know how is he attracting you sexually and they can't.

He has to own a house, have a good job, drive a decent car and be good looking.... Standard stuff women look for.

If the new guy does not satisfied my friends expectations, they would have a bad opinion of him ....Your "Male friends-you won't have sex with" will always have a bad opinion of hotter guys than themselves, who are working their way into your bed.

and tell me “he is not good enough” “he is a loser”. why ?? ?? ??...Because they want you to sleep with them. Other men are not going to be good enough for you, they think.

Also my boyfriends are always “too ugly for me” according to my friends....Yup, as I said, these "Male friends -you won't have sex with" are not going to be open armed accepting of other men sniffing around you.

But when my brothers/friends are dating, if they have the feeling that the girl
are with them because they have good jobs and nice houses, or because of
looks, they think bad of them, “gold diggers””superficial bch” . why ?? ?? ??
...These boys are wussies. So what if a woman is a gold digger. The important thing is these boys notice it, but meanwhile they don't have to give her any money, just have sex with her and dump her.
Essentially, if the guy notices a gold digger is after him, then this is prime for getting sex. The important thing is he should never be lose with his money with her. She'll have sex with him and if she doesn't, no loss. Its just a golddigger anyway.

According to my brothers I should shoot for a wealthy and good looking guy,....Yes. This is what normal women should do. But the difference between you and the "Golddigger" is you may have genuine intimate feelings for him, and you actually care about his happiness, health and wellbeing. THATS the difference. And men bond best with that woman who cares about him.

but the women they want, should not think the same way?? ...You're not getting it. The women they want should be attracted to him and care for him. But he'll bang the Golddigger, and send her on her way.
MEN THE DOUBLE STANDARD
Posted: 1/27/2010 3:01:01 PM
context is everything.

there's nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man with money and looks and all that. just as there's nothing wrong with a man wanting an outrageously sexy hottie with a trust fund. we all want partners who bring the most advantages to the table in an honest context. (of course, advantages are in the eye of the beholder.)

it's when people want those things in a dishonest context that problems arise.

your brothers (presumably) love you, and trust that you'll be honest in your romantic dealings. an honest women or man deserves to have the best partner they can land, and that's what they want for you.

the women your brothers refer to as golddiggers are simply ones they don't trust. but in all likelihood, these guys will be happy to share their homes, incomes and the rest with a woman they DO trust.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 5
MEN THE DOUBLE STANDARD
Posted: 1/27/2010 4:56:34 PM
If your brothers and friends didn't want the best for you then there would be something wrong with them.

Is it a double standard? Yes. Will you be surprised to see who they end up marrying? Yes, again.

"The rest of those who have gone before us cannot steady the unrest of those to follow.", no matter how much we try, every generation must live it's own life.
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