Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Approaching the subject of sex with older women      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older womenPage 1 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
^^^ That is helpful ya silly guy you! lol....

OP? I am not a man who is dating but? Can you not tell from the response you get from her when you kiss her? Is there not some way you can work that in a conversation, such a little innuendos where you could relay the fact that you have a healthy sex drive! Kudos to you btw darlin! I have always gone by body language, the way he kisses me back to kind of be an indicator?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 9:34:52 AM
Most women I have ever been with make it crystal clear when they want to get laid. If you can't tell at this age, you may as well give up.

Generally, if she isn't sending out the vibs, stop wasting your time....
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 9:35:56 AM

OP? I am not a man who is dating but? Can you not tell from the response you get from her when you kiss her? Is there not some way you can work that in a conversation, such a little innuendos where you could relay the fact that you have a healthy sex drive! Kudos to you btw darlin! I have always gone by body language, the way he kisses me back to kind of be an indicator?

While that is very sound advice Ms. Moonie, I think what the OP was getting at is how do I find out quickly so as not to waste too much time or, for that matter, any time on a woman who is not willing to put out. As has been mentioned numerous times in these fora, expediency in this department is of utmost importance. I would think if the OP asked that question in the very first e-mail, he would very quickly find out the answer to his question. Afterall, why beat around the bush [pun intended] ?
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 5
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 10:13:07 AM
OP...if all you're looking for is sex, then be truthful and put it right on your profile, then there won't be any question. Just read profiles before you contact a woman. If she states she's looking for a relationship, chances are you'll be wasting her and your time. It doesn't mean she doesn't want sex, just simply that she wants it with a man she gets to know and establishes a connection with.

If you are looking for a relationship, put a phrase such as "I'm healthy, active, feel 20 years younger and am looking for a woman my age who can match me in body and mind!"

The majority of women over 50 I know, have complained of having higher libidos than the men, so I can't see there being a problem. Most women over 50 are looking for a man they can get to know, be attracted to and have an active sex life with. They'll be flocking to your profile! Lol!

Now keep in mind if a man asked me on the first date if I would sleep with him, trust me I wouldn't be! You must have some finess and want to take the time to get to know and establish the ground work for a relationship. Try not to put the cart before the horse, so to speak.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 10:40:01 AM
Hey Tinks darlin! The bold approach doesn't work with me at my age, so why would it as the OP'S age? Picture this...out at a restaurant, just finishing dindins. Op says hey baby, let's hit your place for some hot romance! Hmmm...I think that our needs sexually can be determined well before that, agree?
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 10:43:55 AM
checked out your profile, FarmBoy ... and it reflects a nice person, well rounded and interested in a long term relationship ...

when men contact me and mention sex in the first (or even second) e-mail, I don't respond ... so, if that's what you were looking for ... knowing when to mention sex in an e-mail ... I suspect an e-mail question will not elicit the response you wanted ...

body language is the way to go! which, of course, requires a meeting!!

don't you wish there were a faster way to find someone who fits all the requirements?!!

 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 9
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 10:54:02 AM
I'm thinking it might just be me...because I've not thought about this before.
I just assume that a healthy relationship includes a healthy sex life...or a
mutually satisfying sex life.
I have to say (especially at this age) having someone ask me early on,
particularly in an email, whether I liked sex or enjoyed sex would be one
of things I would file under....
things that make me go ewwwwwwwwwwwbies.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:30:45 AM
if you are not willing to do the hunt, then go to a supermarket and buy the meat. there is no "vegetarian" way for me to express that thought!

i have things on my wish list,but some of them are not answerable by a questionaire. i have to take the time to learn and observe. it would seem to me, that a person who cannot "sense" sexuality, cannot be all that sensual. i try to learn what a person is looking for in a relationship. if he says activity partner and a movie date, then i think that is pretty clear. if i want to see a movie, i know who to call. the rest is about an entwining on "all" levels.

i pretty much seek out friends and let the chemistry do the rest --or not. when i least expect it, i am often surprised.
 ColumbiaSingle
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 13
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:44:25 AM
Are you looking for sex only? or sex without payment or emotions? Then you might want to hire a professional. Most women I know in their 60s are very interested in sex, but not sex on demand or without any type of emotion.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 18
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 12:07:16 PM
Well, I imagine it would go like this..
You take 'em out for a while and then you ...
geez.



ahahahahahaha!


I don't think you need to "approach" the subject. If you come out
and ask someone if they like sex (and they do) they might not find
you all that attractive for asking (they might just assume that sex
WOULD be part of a relationship with you) If you ask someone and
they don't like sex...well you're just going to get "turned off".
Why not do it the old fashioned way? Date someone, cultivate a
relationship and let nature take it's course. If you want to know upfront
before you waste your time, you're either going to offend the woman that
enjoys sex or offend yourself if she doesn't.
Believe me (and I cannot stress this enough) there is not much else I can
think of that would turn me off more than to be sitting across from someone
I hardly know, someone I'm trying to get a handle on to see if I see like, and
have them ask me if I like sex.

Now I'll be honest, maybe when I was a lot younger, this coming from
a young hot guy might not have seemed so bad. But I've got to tell you,
us older people really have to phrase these things right so as to not gross
anyone out...if you know what I mean.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 12:14:20 PM
C'mon....If you have to ask, you are wasting your time. You should be able to detect a sexual interest in the first 10 minutes of a conversation. If it is not apparent, you are not doing it to her, and while it is possible that something may evolve over time, you would be better of seeking someone who displays the reactions to you that let you know that it will happen.

Usually, if while you are interacting, you notice a sexual reaction in your own body, go gently with the flow and see if it persists. If not, its not mutual, and its time to move along. By this age, you have had enough experience to know without getting into words.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 23
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 12:21:36 PM
^^^^^ I can tell as soon as I meet someone whether or not
sex is a possiblity (for me...not speaking for him). It's after I
talk to them for a bit that I decide whether or not it could be
a reality. (for me...not speaking for him)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 12:24:01 PM

It is only that she finds you attractive and there are possibilities.


Err.....isn't that pretty much what I am saying? If she does not find you attractive or feels there are no possibilities, why would you think that sex is even a possibility?

I think its pretty much an illusion the idea that you have to be a woman to understand their thinking or what is in their minds. They may have different motivations, bu we are all the same basic animal.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 12:28:09 PM
^^^^^ Well, easy to see who has their mind in the gutter. I love it!!!
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 12:30:34 PM
ok ... you DON'T approach the subject ... at all ...

one evening, in a nice setting, probably more romantic than a Denny's parking lot ... and not on the first date ... you stand next to each other ... talking ... maybe at a park with the moon shining against the lake ... move a little closer ... still talking ... mention the moonlight ... lean down toward her face ... don't go 100% there ... just go maybe 70% ... and wait ... wait to see if she closes the gap ... maybe lean in to whisper something in her ear ... maybe go 85% toward her face ... and wait ...

aren't we a little old to be having this discussion?

sheesh ...

P.S. you know ... there's a movie starring Eddie Murphy that fully explores this subject ... the love doctor ... or something ... check it out ... really. check it out.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 31
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:15:35 PM
Op, I think the thing you should realize is that most women are STILL interested in sex, but only with the right person....I also understand that there are some women who have no interest in sex at all and will not tell you until much later in a relationship...you are looking to invest time with someone to develop a relationship but you want it to be with someone who oven still have a pilot light going.

I do think your question deserves better answers that what your getting but it is causes like most of the ladies on the forums...we like sex...with the right person so we have no clue to the concept about the women who dont.

Good luck to you.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:24:07 PM
google: social skills. google: pheremones. that should help you start to figure it all out!
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:36:48 PM

Hey Tinks darlin! The bold approach doesn't work with me at my age, so why would it as the OP'S age?

Well, Ms, Moonie, apparently the sarcasam and tongue in cheek humour that was intended in my post was not clear and it was missed .

OP, set your sights on Intimate Encounter, Other Relationship or Activity Partner and that ought to get you what you are looking for although it could be with a dinosaur or two considering where you live.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:53:02 PM
Of course at the age of 63 you have been around , and you know and the older woman knows that dating is a package deal of man and woman union (relationship bonding) that consist SEX if the two of hit it off. Unless you are dating your Mother for a nice lovely dinner as a good son and after the date you play Chess in your Mommy's room,she doesn't want in the cold living room because of her arthiritis...........

If you are dating me and all your enterest is you pecker and if my legs is easily open like a sliding door ,and you are not enterested in me if I am a decendant of wickecd witch or a woman with a virtue I will tell you upfront to " Take a hike and get lose to a brothel and make sure you have $500.00 in your pocket......









 onlyfootprints
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:54:48 PM
Seems to me that OP is looking to cut to the chase. It would be nice to know what you're getting yourself into in the beginning but life doesn't work that way. I've been in similar relationships. I've spent the time to get to know someone and develop a relationship only to be totally disappointed when I found out she was just looking for a friend, email buddy or activity partner. If that's all the other person is looking for they don't belong at a dating site. I'm sure there are plenty of websites for just friends or platonic partners. Unfortunately I've found that I've been put into the "Friends Zone" here more often than I'd prefer.
I don't blame the OP for wanting to cut to the chase. Why waste everyone's time if the ultimate goal of a complete relationship is never in play?
 onlyfootprints
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:05:47 PM
Your anger is showing fluffy brain. I see why you're only here for the forums. And tell me why would any man be interested in hanging out with you with an attitude like yours?
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:09:59 PM
only footprints: How does it feel if a woman meet you, personally, instead of saying Hi how are you ,nice to met you,, she looked at your gray hair and beard ,, and ask you how is your performance in sex, can you do 2x in a row every night ????

That is shocking isn'it ???
P.S.
Women WANT LOVE AND SEX otherwise they won't be on a dating website, unless they are looking for a Bingo buddy that is a different story
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:10:32 PM

...to be totally disappointed when I found out she was just looking for a friend, email buddy or activity partner. If that's all the other person is looking for they don't belong at a dating site.

Sorry, but you aren't the one who gets to decide who is allowed to "belong" on this site. This site is open to anyone who chooses to belong to it.

Rather than trying to put the onus on the other person for allegedly misleading you, why not try taking responsibility for the fact that your "picker" just isn't working the way you want it to work and that you are selecting the wrong people to get involved with.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:11:08 PM
Moonchild - msg 3

I have always gone by body language, the way he kisses me back to kind of be an indicator?

I would agree on that point. The way she kisses, and where she kisses, are pretty good indicators, what's on her mind.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Approaching the subject of sex with older women
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:31:00 PM
rearguard wrote:


<div class="quote">You should be able to detect a sexual interest in the first 10 minutes of a conversation. If it is not apparent, you are not doing it to her...

a link to a blog post about this showed up on my Twitter feed this morning:

First off, men know that if we’re on a date, you’ve already considered if you would sleep with us, and the Moxiefebruary20134 answer is yes. Women decide this in about fifteen seconds. - Jack From Brooklyn

Here, I think, is another Dating Myth. I've heard men say this a lot. They believe women know within a few minutes of meeting or on a first date if we're going to sleep with a man.

Am I the only one that needs a little more time to figure that out?

See, this is why I think so many men think a woman is playing a game by not having sex on the first date.

I'm at a point in my life where I don't feel like having mediocre sex. So when I meet a man or I'm on a date, what I'm wondering isn't whether or not I'll sleep with him. I'm trying to determine if he's going to be good enough to make it worth the risk. And by risk, I'm not just referring to being considered "easy." I'm talking about getting myself in to an uncomfortable situation. There's nothing worse than having sex and lying there wondering when the hell it will be over or when the guy will finish.

If I'm really, really attracted to someone and feel that intense pull of desire and I actually like the guy, I'm then trying to determine what his intentions are. That's what holds me back. I'm not trying to make him earn it as much as I'm trying to prepare myself for the possibility that this guy might not stick around. I need to feel like the guy will actually appreciate my efforts and does not expect or feel entitled to them.

I wrote about a date I had a couple weeks ago with a guy. We split the tab and he walked me home and kissed me good night multiple times. But I knew I would never see this guy again, at least not in a dating or romantic capacity. I was attracted to him. But what held me back from taking things further was that I got the distinct impression that he was just trying to salvage his night with sex. Women, most at least, can sense when a guy is just looking to get laid for no other reason that to say they got laid. Which is why so many of us are on guard about sleeping with men too soon. It's not just that we know men like the challenge to some extent. It's that we don't really know if we want to just yet coupled with the fact that we just don't have a good enough sense of what ti is the guy in question really wants.

The truth is I don't know all of this after one date. I know if I'm attracted to them. And I know when I'm so attracted to them that I can't wait to get them naked. But being attracted to them isn't enough for me.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Approaching the subject of sex with older women