Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > What do I make of this?      Home login  
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 9
What do I make of this?Page 1 of 1    

I agree that would make me look like the psycho one.

Yes, because it would BE psycho. It would probably also scare the hell out of her. Is a restraining order really the parting gift you want from her - and a legacy of fear the parting gift you want to leave?

But I do have to go get my DVD at some point.

No, you don't. E-mail her your mailing address if she doesn't have it (don't say anything else, just, here's my address so you can send my DVD), and she'll either send it to you, or not. If not, forget about it. Other than that, don't contact her again!

For whatever reason, she had second thoughts. It just didn't work out and obsessing over it isn't going to make that happen. So I recommend, spend some time with friends and have a communal "women suck" ****ing session - that has a chance of actually helping you to feel better!

Most of us at some point have probably had someone back off like this, after clearly expressing strong interest. My take, usually they're using us to work through some emotional problem of their own, and they don't realize this at the time (or, at first, anyway). But whether that's reasonably accurate or not, for our own sakes, we've got to just forgive - and let it go.
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 10
view profile
What do I make of this?
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:30:56 AM
I have to agree with Deb, first sentence you call her a chick???

Perhaps she noticed that you were way more like your ID, then you think... Dr Strange pork...There may be a great story behind that, but perhaps she was seeing how "strange" you really were...

I agree with the others that said she had other lines in the water, and you were the little fish that didn't make the cut... Shug it happens even to those without DR strange as our ID...

People aren't always honest, and many just blow you off... She probably liked you, but as said not as much as you started liking her... The you still married thing probably was a key factor that set on her mind, no matter how close you say you are to divorce... New divorce's are not the best choice for a long term...

It is your ego that is hurting, because you did like her... Reality, yes there is a time to say when, and she stated sorry, but I am friend zoning you... She probably also has no idea what got into her to get so hot, but stopped at full on sex... Now she's embarrassed that she went that far...Probably because she had a smoking hot what ever danglign her along, and now he says hey he'd like more, because others wanted her too...

You can try and strong arm some explanation, but the question is what would it do for you??? it won't make you feel better, and you won't have won anything by doing so...

I make of this as a let it go, because it's dead and done... Sorry
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 11
view profile
What do I make of this?
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:38:02 AM
Ya know, op.. she didn't just do a vanishing act on you.. She actually explained her not wanting to continue with you in her own way.. whether it was ambiguous to you or not, is not her problem. The bottom line, as hard as it may be to swallow, is that she doesn't want to see you again. She's given you closure by telling you.. let it go. Persuing it further is pointless.
Inviting things to get that far, and then doing a complete about face are the signs of someone who doesn't know what she wants.. do you want to be involved in continued mixed signals and pushpull bs from her?

.. Forgettaboutit..

Now.. On my useless thoughts on why she may have done what she did:
1. You had a hard time making plans with her.. so she finally gave up and just invited you to her place.. Next time.. have a plan and stick to it. Be decisive.
2.. When she reminded you that you left your dvd there. Instead of acknowledging the fact and then making a precise date to get to gether again to retrieve your dvd.. you waffled again and just said "yes an excuse to meet up again".. Being confident and assertive without being cocky is attractive. Remember that.
None of those observations are necessarily why she's lost interest, but just an observation I noted within your account.

On Edit:

We told each other at the very beginning, before our first date, that we would always be honest and up-front with each other. Sorry for thinking that was a truthful statement...
Whether you agree or not.. she was being honest with you. She didn't lead you on indefinately or, keep you on a string, or hold a carrot on a stick.. What she did do with you was mutually decided upon.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > What do I make of this?