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 DiannaBall
Joined: 1/6/2010
Msg: 2
So is it men, women or both?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I know I go off in here all the time and I will tell you why. I do trust people until they give me a reason not to. What pisses me off is that over and over , people just seem to lie. And I do not get it. I was talking to my dad last night who always asks why I am not with someone. Because Dad, over and over, I meet men who just cannot be honest with me. And the sad thing is, I know not all men are this way. Just like all women are not. I do not have a problem with men wanting sex. I want it too. Every damn day. But what I do not want is a man to feed me a bunch of shit to try and get sex and not be seen again. You wanna fk me? Just tell me. Then it is my decision if I want to go there with the guy. I just hate games and BS. When we see issues here in the forums you also do start to wonder are people really being honest? Or are they just that blind. I am not an insecure person ~ far from it. I am a **** however. Because if I do not take care of ME and protect my feelings and my home, who will? I hahve had a total of 3 relationships. One man God totok from me, one cheated (years ago) the last one, 7 years ago, I simply got sick and tired of the shit with his family. My reason now for not having a relationship is I need to have that right match. Not 100% like me, but close enough where lifestyles and needs do not 6 months later down the line become "I told ya so's."
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 3
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:11:31 AM

are you REALLY like this IRL?
I'm actually not quite as nice IRL as I am on here... yeah, go figure...

As for dating off of here... nope. I see far too many threads on what happened on dates and such to even think of being the topic of the next one. Whether I say thank you in an appropriate manner, if I've even kissed him... not things I want bandied about for the world to discuss... even the narrow, shallow world of the PoF forums.

It's not men individually, and it's not women individually either... it's more of a mob mentality that seems prevalent in forums - not just this one either.

On a personal note, there are a couple of individuals on here that know me personally and the things that go on in my personal life. Those people I trust with my confidences as they've proven to me over time that they truly care about me and my life...
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 4
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:19:51 AM
I think people feel some sense of being anonymous online so they either speak freely or just go along with others to feel a part of the group. I don't believe I'm as trusting as I once was, but as we grow I think ideals and beliefs change based on personal experience--particularly when discussing relationships or relationship expectations.

I've often pondered if men and women seem to hold such disdain for the opposite gender---online or off---how can either gender expect to find any happiness being a couple. When you figure it all out lemme know. :)
 TiffLS
Joined: 10/28/2009
Msg: 6
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:30:10 AM
I think I'm exactly the same IRL as I am online. In part that may be because I'm a writer by trade, so this is my natural means of communication. It's probably also partly because I don't hold anything back IRL, either. A lot of people talk about people being more blunt or daring or whatever online because it's somehow "safe", but I pretty much speak my mind wherever I am, for better or worse. In general, I wouldn't say there's any difference between my online and offline personas.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 9
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:50:46 AM
Well, the anonymity of the Internet certainly allows some people the ability to say things they wouldn't have the stones to say irl. Also, if you look at individual posters, you can often see that they post in anger, bitterness, cynicism, etc. but as time wears on, their posts become more moderate as they work through their own pain. Herd mentality also applies.

Of course you have the people that choose to sit and spin.

I have never been the type to generalize from the specific because it is too ingrained in me to consider each person on an individual basis rather than who or what they are. I do notice things that I seem to see exhibited in many males or many females but bashing is just pointless and stupid.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 10
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:55:47 AM
Where to begin!?!?!?

it's a multi fold problem or should I also say, a combination of many things that influence at a level or another each individuals, giving results looking similar to many, but with beginnings and roots unique to each all.

Society play a major factor here, as most are conditioned to gather and accumulated without reasons or needs, to fear any forms of lack or "missing", it has a dual effect on the individual: I take, I do not give back, I become self centered or self oriented first and only.

That particular facet of the individual may not be predominant but will definitely influence choices.

The ease in which we live in, this mass over consumption, to use and throw after usages, to buy a new one instead of repairing or fixing; also is representative on how we deal with human interaction: instead of working and making concessions, we discard, generally after a placebo "work" on the relation.

Right away, as you have an individual centered on the self, you have an individual on the defensive; added with this society of abuse and "market", mistrust comes before trust in most people.

You also have the fact that people are far more used to instant gratification, oriented more on the "I have rights", forgetting thus that they also have "obligations" (am talking about moral obligations and integrity...afterall we are talking about inter personal relation here)

Then the "bad" information versus the lack of "knowing one self".
People simply do not know whom they really are, because they lack opportunities to challenge themselves to the core and prefer do and externalization instead of an self inspection ( It's not me it's them). Added to a mass media system (built only to make money) who will provide and submerge the individual with "cliche", false or "oriented" information; external information that the individual will use as a base of reference instead of discovering by themselves whom and what they are capable of.
it also influence the ability of an individual to "move on" from a past experience, to learn and grow from it while keeping it where it belongs (in the past), "re-evaluate" and "re-position" their present and building their future.

Misinterpretation of the information is also VERY common. For example many media tell you to "think about yourself": it is right! but it forget to tell the individual to also balance it with the others!!! So you have individuals moving from one end of the pendulum to the other!

Then you have individual who put too much stock or validity into an information, without either understand it or verify it: Op you mentioned IRL, Hatfield ~mcCoy: Freudian thinking is obsolete, in case you didn't knew: People, society and such have changed since the late 1800!!! another classic example of using "questionable" , outdated or false information...but some people will falsely base themselves on it!

This is the danger of mass access to information and knowledge: without discipline, background and methodology; the information is interpreted and assimilated by the individual incorrectly, orienting him toward a partial, and thus, false results.

Also, as people put far too much importance into some things, they forgot the true value or importance of other. Yes, the end of a relationship is sad; but it is not the end of the world. Yes some men/women are bad or (insert anything here), but it is not the entire gender that is this way.

I will cut it short here, because to simply make a quick survey of it all, will take about 755 pages; but you get the drift.
 sushi0004
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 11
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:57:55 AM

Is this as I suspect, an issue of many of the posters, not getting past last relationships, the pain caused and an inability to trust anyone of the opposite sex? I doubt this is unique to either gender, but it sures seems relevant.


IMO, yes, HELL yes, it is.

To me, it seems to be a product of the "serial monogamy" that has become so prevalant in our society. It seems like more and more people leave one LTR and jump right into one or several new relationships without giving themselves time to heal. This shortchanges them and their new partners - it's kind of a viscious circle.

Purely anecdotal, but I have been lucky enough to meet a few truly exceptional people over the course of my life - I'm picky as hell and look for very specific traits and people who seem to know what they want out of this world. Of those women, nearly all would have made great partners for me, but what seperated those that have the POTENTIAL to make a great LTR and those that have the ABILITY to actually make a great LTR has been almost unversally the amount of time since their previous LTR, with the longer out of their last relationship being directly proportional to how healthy the manner in which they approach a new one.

I'm not saying people don't heal at different rates, nor am I saying everyone jumps from one relationship to another without time to get theselves ready to be a healthy part of a couple. I'm just saying that a LOT of people (and I see men doing this too) do, and the inevitable baggage/issues this causes tends to result in resentment and anger towards the opposite sex, and more failed relationships to continue the downward spiral.

I there a cure? I dunno. It's just another tiger pit we have to watch out for in the dating jungle.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 12
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 12:08:18 PM
I am the same IRL as I am online. Blunt and to the point. I dont see too much point in sugar coating certain things. Part of the issue is that an awful lot of people dont want people's opinions if they are different than their own, even if they are asking for it.

The men vs woman thing....The one thing that I have noticed on here is that if you stray too far out of the "gender characteristic" mold, a whole lot of people are quick to start throwing out the insults. If a woman is being clear and has a strong opinion about something, she quickly becomes a ball breaker, a **** or aggressive, when apparently women are only allowed to be nuturing and unquestionably supportive. If a man is a little too "feminine" in his thought process, there are a whole lot of questions about who is holding his balls, or accusations that he is playing to the other side and questions about his sexuality, because apparently men are only allowed to be aggressive or dominant.

I f someone has a clear opinion on something all of a sudden they are a man/woman hater. Couldnt possibly be anything other than that. People look for somethings that arent there and they always manage to find them though....

Quite bizzarre actually....
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 16
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 1:20:21 PM

Is this as I suspect, an issue of many of the posters, not getting past last relationships, the pain caused and an inability to trust anyone of the opposite sex?

This is such a cliched and hackneyed theory it just has to be wrong. Did everyone just suddently start going bad?

Surely you're aware one unfortunate legacy of feminism has been the idea that men and women are basically enemies.

In other words, they started it.
 kohavah
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 18
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:13:08 PM
I am being myself, when I come to the forums. How could I be anything less? In the real world, (what ever you consider to be the real world), I am also myself. When individuals come to the forums and become passionate about something, they are merely expressing their own opinion. These views, whether they are the same as mind or not help me to think and evaluate my own perspective. Because I recognize that I am constantly learning and correcting, or strengthening a specific point within my intellect, I do not take what others say to me, as a personal attack...even if it was meant to be.

I honestly believe that all individuals should have every right to say what they want, discuss how they feel and what they have come to believe, get it off of their chest, and bring their feelings out into the open. The only thing that really irritates me, is when there is a cry to mommy system, as is in affect on the forums, where mature beings, are moderated, and their words get removed, or a topic gets completely deleted, as if it was too dangerous or sacred to discuss.

Kohavah
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 20
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 2:37:53 PM
Shushi and BigDaddyJinx said it best.

We cannot pin this thing, all this anger, all this resentment to one sex or the other, but rather to the scars inflicted in previous relationships, and how we then bring those into the next relationship. It is also true, that many times the shortcomings of your current relationship have the foundation on what happened in the one before.

What is even more interesting is that some of our behavior stem really from the way we were brought up and the different unresolved trauma of our youth.

There is a lot of bitterness in the forums. But quite frankly, I like it. Why? Because it gives me perspective. The human condition is so broad that then I can see my own problems and say, sh it, I am not doing as bad. Or you see how p iss poorly someone dealt with something and you realize when you went through the same thing that there are other ways to deal with very similar scenarios. It's even interesting to see the blame game when a lot of times the OP is the one that may be at fault. The best thing is that whether I am a character created by my online persona or not, I model myself by those actions, and through here I have learn a lot, if anything to have more empathy and compassion.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 21
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 3:27:24 PM
Sorry, I lost my train of thaught, read what I wrote and got too far of track.

 kohavah
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 22
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 3:42:00 PM
Words are the window to the soul. When someone will not allow me to express myself, through words, I counsider that individual to be an enemy. I allow all beings the right to express their feelings and emotions, (even if it is not comfortable for me at the moment) when they desire. Certain individuals decide which words are considered unspeakable/curse...without realizing that they will lose their power, when they are ignored, or taken into account like any other word. This website has been set up for mature individuals, 18 and over. why do you believe that you need a babysitter?

As for individuals who get their feelings hurt. I will remind you that this world is in a spiritual, and physical war, because all sides to an argument, or dilemna are not allowed to have a redress of their grievances, have those deep feelings of rage and anomisity addresses, properly analysed and seriously taken into account.

Kohavah
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 23
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 4:04:07 PM
Maybe I grew up in a different kind of place. I witness EXACTLY the same kind of arguments in the Real World as I do here, and just as often. People get carried away sometimes, and you can witness "mob behavior" happen here, like in the real world.
Just like here, I've seen that people who know they wont be identified later will get into loud arguments with OTHER strangers, and say horrible things. Soccer moms, who lean out of their SUV and scream the most VILE insults at other motorists, just before they pick up their kids from elementary school.
Here, you'll get a concentrated group of people focussed on one of the most volatile and sensitive subjects human beings have to deal with, so you should EXPECT more testiness, anger, sadness, accusations and all that here than you'd find, say, in your work break room, where the primary subject of discussion is about how the boss just announced no more free donuts and coffee.
Keep in mind to, that no matter WHO you are dealing with, or what subject you are talking to them about, you are only getting a THIS MOMENT IN TIME snapshot of them. They've been changing right up to the time you talk to them, and they'll change some more after you go away. Think back on how many converstaions you've been in, where you came out strongly for or against something, and later realized...you really didn't give a crap about that subject, you were just hot to get into the fuss of things, right that minute.
Anyway, I do try to pop into some of the forum thingies that are wailing wildly of course, and nudge them back the other way when I can. The (volunteer!) Moderators
step in and calm things down (or shut them down) too, when they get really out of hand.
Oh... and in answer to the Title question, it IS both. Actually, we're lucky more species don't participate in the forums, because I can tell you from direct observation, cats and dogs and many other creatures are JUST AS NUTS AS WE ARE.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 28
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 5:11:00 PM

As far as behavior online, your right, people believe they can be anything they want from the safety of their chair behind the screen. Problem is, your NOT that when you date, so another epic fail, because the edgy person posting turns into milktoast marty or milly when out in reallife.

So, what you're really saying is that the real person is here online and that they're not when they date. It's only when they get to know each other that the real edgy person comes out. What it leads me to believe is that both men and women put on smarmy fronts when dating and therein lies the problem. Be yourself or learn to be a better person at all times.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 34
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 6:30:52 PM
~OP~ Considering only about 3% of ALL POF members actually post in forums, I don't see this as a good place to base any sort of opinion on general population. Yes, here in forums, forums posters can be all sorts of negative. I attribute that to THEM, not the site or even their lack of dates, being the latest POF POOFER victim, or anything else, for that matter. If you can't be happy and look at this for what it is: a time waster that might net you a little knowledge, a few good laughs and a LOT of strokes en route to carpel tunnel? You're taking this silliness entirely TOO serious. JMO
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 43
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/2/2010 10:43:51 PM
I know in person I am a lot nicer than I come off here, but that's partly because you can't read tone & intent and you can't hear me laughing my head off on some posts that probably sound more serious when just read.

I find a lot of people who bemoan the he/she done me wrong now I'm ruined stuff to be attention seekers who would find fault with most anything if they get to be the center of the drama. In real life they are probably just as whining and clingy, but then some are trolls so you can't read a lot into posts. If one really has to write a post that states the obvious, even to the clueless, they either want attention or want to cause turmoil on the boards, and yeah I think they do it in real like also, it's the type they are. If they are truly that clueless, just WOW!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 45
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/3/2010 4:09:36 AM

I think it's better IRL, because people rarely project the insecurities and anger they do online, especially in the forums.
I've been a serious fan of creative writing ever since I was scared by a pencil and a dictionary in 2nd grade! (LOL! and I hate to tell ya how many years ago that was!)

But, as you said, "people rarely project the insecurities and anger that they do online" IRL...which, I believe as well. I don't however see that as a "better" situation. One of the reasons I've always enjoyed writing is that the expression of thoughts and ideas can flow freely without the "input" of an IRL audience. When we have face to face conversation, we're much more likely to "water down" our opinions when we run into a raised eyebrow. Our opinions remain...we simply veil them in politically correct nonsense.

I've never been one who wanted the kindergarten answers to life...but prefer the REAL, in your face...grown up FACTS...without all the hearts and flowers.....I.E. give it to me straight up, and skip the twists.

I've also made it a lifelong habit to avoid allegiances to any "cult"....which is exactly what I call any gathering on individuals who employ "group think". (see your Sociology 101 textbook).


Distrust, seems so high, people seem less likely to put themselves out there, make themselves vulnerable to the next potential mate.


Is this as I suspect, an issue of many of the posters, not getting past last relationships, the pain caused and an inability to trust anyone of the opposite sex?
I found myself explaining my thoughts via email just yesterday to a very young man who seemed to genuinely want to know more about why I held the opinion that I do...after his thread was deleted. I won't bore you "non-believers" with the scriptural references I gave him (he had stated he was Christian) but whether in the spiritual or secular realm, the same analysis prevails:

Mistrust due to "past hurts" is a spiritual or emotional "illness" caused by the refusal or inability to FORGIVE. Yes, I know....it's not politically correct...but it's TRUE nonetheless. Whenever I hear someone talking about their refusal to "trust" again because of a past relationship....I immediately know that this is a person who is incapable of forgiveness...and therefore very likely to be extremely rigid in all their ways. To me, "mistrust" says much more about that individual than it does the people who hurt them.
 kohavah
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 46
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/3/2010 7:23:48 AM
GrandmaBooBoo posted this:
Mistrust due to "past hurts" is a spiritual or emotional "illness" caused by the refusal or inability to FORGIVE. Yes, I know....it's not politically correct...but it's TRUE nonetheless. Whenever I hear someone talking about their refusal to "trust" again because of a past relationship....I immediately know that this is a person who is incapable of forgiveness...and therefore very likely to be extremely rigid in all their ways. To me, "mistrust" says much more about that individual than it does the people who hurt them.

Kohavah responds with this:

Mistrust due to past hurts, is not a spiritual or emotional illness, caused by the refusal or inability to forgive. This manipulative concept is not true, this is a blatant lie. The truth is, that mistrust, based on past experience, has enable the individual to acquire the vital, life sustaining information needed, to see people, places and things are they truly are in this warring and unjust atmosphere...and to be sanely and justly on guard.

The word forgive comes from the word, tolerate...or accept. The wrongfull acquired power of individuals who have been wrongly taught to accept manipulative, malicious, and over bearing people...is once again placed back into the hands of serial bullies, to inflict their wrongly control over the target, who has been taught this dangerous concept and con artist's lie.

I think you will find, that people who are allowed, to fully express themselves in writing, whether they be male or female, will in time expose their level of intelligence, their various character traits, or lack of character and intelligence, etc.

You have asked if men and women are the same in real life, as they exibit themselves to be here on these forums, or perhaps through e-mail. If an individual spends enough time interacting with another or witnessing how another individual interacts with other individuals, in writing, then they will have a very good idea, of the mindset of that individual. Only then can someone determine if someone is safe and good for them and their desired happiness, and as they present themselves to be, when they meet them. This will also determine if an individual should meet someone face to face.

One thing that I have observed and encountered. Certain manipulating and dangerous individuals have trained themselves, in the use of various forms of psychology, in order that they may use this egotistical enhancement, as a tool to wrongly and unjustly get who, and what they want. These dangerous type of people, will want to talk to you on the phone, in order that they can "read" your reactions and decipher, your tone of voice, pertaining to what they say. These bad quality individuals, also desire to meet you as soon as posible, in order that they may reel you in with their false mannerisms and egotistical charms. They "need" to study your expressions, in order that they are enabled to properly manipulate you. They "need" you to be ignorant, trust, and accept them unconditionally "as they really are" inorder that they may be empowered to bully and manipulate your mind, body, spirit and soul. They can only be happy and complete, when they wrongly and unjustily subject your entire being, unto them. They actually get their unjustified power and strength, by subtly and carefully removing your rightful power and strength, from you.

Of course, there are highly trained con artists that are quite capable of carrying on a con in writing on the forums, possibly for years. These people may be much harder to recognize. They are very likely just as talented on the phone, or in person. Sometimes you don't find out that you have just enabled a raping, plundering, murderer, until...they have acquired all of your power, resources and vital strength. I guess, that is the true story about the greatest con artist of all time...Jesus Christ. This character, and his lovers preached, and continue to preach forgiveness, and loving the enemy as well. Be careful...all sadistic devils, need fools.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 47
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/3/2010 7:54:19 AM

attitudes degenerated into a us or them mentality, demonstrated by many women and men, to describe the problems with the opposite sex

It's a product of less-than-optimal brains.

It is indisputable that every human being is individual and possesses his or her own thoughts, visions, plans, etc. While there are some gender-based physiological factors affecting mood, there is no way that a thinking person can logically attribute a set of ideas to an entire gender (or race, religion, etc). Any person who displays a tendency to condemn all the members of a group because of the members of a tiny number of that group is only showing a lack of intellect; an inability to draw logical conclusions.

This is useful if you're interested in having a partner who is able to draw logical conclusions; avoid the ones who rant about 'women' or 'men' as though either gender is Borg.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 48
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/3/2010 9:47:40 AM
the greatest con artist of all time...Jesus Christ. This character, and his lovers preached, and continue to preach forgiveness, and loving the enemy as well. Be careful...all sadistic devils, need fools.
Kohavah is absolutely correct....MY opinions on this matter ARE based on the teachings of Jesus Christ......while hers are based on....the people who brought you poisoned Kool-Aide from the Mothership.

BDJ's most common sense approach easily diffuses the "manipulation" of what some people like to call "forgiveness". To many, they DO use "forgiveness" as a tool of manipulation....believing that if you aren't eager to jump right back in there and get hurt again...then you haven't forgiven. NO, on the contrary..."Forgiveness is NOT the same as "restoration". We forgive, because WE want forgiven (when we make mistakes)....AND because it's what we're supposed to do. Otherwise, we live in anarchy; where there IS no forgiveness....so if you dent someone's fender, even AFTER you've paid to repair the damage 100 times....you must KEEP paying and KEEP paying and KEEP paying...as long as the "victim" wants you to pay....even up to 100 trillion times the cost of the actual damage....because you cannot UNDO that fact that indeed....once you did cause damage.

So, I might say...no, I'm not going to let you borrow my car again (trust not restored) but in the "laws of forgiveness".....I have to "forgive" the debt when it's either been paid, OR....the relationship is eternally broken because you can't pay what I demand. Under the "law" of forgiveness.....I can't loan my car to SOMEONE ELSE...and then expect THEM to pay for the damage that YOU caused....20 years ago!

All in all....lest I should ever make a mistake myself....I'm certainly glad that I don't live in that Mothership society which preaches against forgiveness!
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 53
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/3/2010 8:18:37 PM
...people rarely project the insecurities and anger they do online, especially in the forums.
I have to agree with OP, that people are harsher--or at least TAKEN that way--online (in the Forums). But on the other hand, it's okay because we hear the absolute worst from people, so when we get out there in real life, no one can compare to the boorishness we've experienced here.

IRL, I have a delivery that makes it clear when I'm mocking myself or not really answering the question in a confrontational manner, but on here I know a lot of people think I'm angry --or strident, lol-- when I'm not at all in real life. I'm not saying I'm a PUSHOVER, but I am actually well-known to be a person who is pretty tolerant of other viewpoints. Even though I pretty much stick to mine.

I mean, come on, men are some of my closest friends! And almost ALL of my lovers!
=============

Surely you're aware one unfortunate legacy of feminism has been the idea that men and women are basically enemies.

Yes, the far-reaching arm of feminism it to blame! Wow, feminism is THE single most POWERFUL thing in the UNIVERSE!!!!

======================

Have you read through the Myers Brigg personality type thread? I'd say at least 75% of forum posters are the same personality type,

Which one? I'm like IMTF or something, maybe IMTP. I actually got rejected by a guy because I was the one but not the other. LOL
Quite frankly, I put as much stock in my being a Virgo and his being a Capricorn or something.
=================

The day that I see a very attractive women get married too an unattractive male (who has a great personality and everything else right) is the day I will respect women and take what they say seriously...until then they will always be contradicting and selfish in my eyes......
Why do you hold women to a higher standard than men?
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 54
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/4/2010 6:14:15 AM

Surely you're aware one unfortunate legacy of feminism has been the idea that men and women are basically enemies.

Yes, the far-reaching arm of feminism it to blame! Wow, feminism is THE single most POWERFUL thing in the UNIVERSE!!!!

You're right: the first thing feminism did was outlaw thinking.

Sad but true.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 56
So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/4/2010 8:42:17 AM
Remember - that's what getting the vote was all about. We know some of you would like to take it back but ha ha too late. Whine all you want - it's satisfying to know how much angst it causes the men who still wish they had total control again - but we ain't giving it back.

This is what kills me about people spouting this, that and the other thing about feminist movements...half of them weren't around for it and the other half were but babies at the time. They didn't live through it and yet they figure they lost something by it. You can't lose something you never had or experienced personally, so for it to constantly be brought up is just so much space filler when there's nothing else intelligent to say. The ones who keep bringing it up never did experience total control, so there's nothing to "give back to them".

VVVV In Real Life
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 60
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So is it men, women or both?
Posted: 2/4/2010 6:38:28 PM
The forums a great infotainment. You get to see what issues get the crowd interested, each side of an argument thoroughly interrogated, sometimes there's a consensus, a lot of time a divide and a few good thoughts.

I find neither gender more responsible for all the behaviour on here bad or good. Gender is not a major determinate of personality.

Sex seems to alway be an underlying theme I think due to its scarceness. If we were all starving, the forums would have more topics about food. (probably angry ones too)

Every poster gives a view and a little look into how they themselves are. All like to push their view, some adamantly. The one thing I notice is that few are willing to change their viewpoint, concede some validity to the opposing sides viewpoint or apologize for misunderstandings. It's kind of a winner take all attitude. Many are very committed to their words and their views. (maybe even more-so than their relationships- lol)

I do find that arguments get tiresome after a long time and that old horse gets beaten until all that's left is bones, leather and some glue. But that could be my problem- been around these parts too long. Some posts are getting almost predictable.

But I still think it s better than TV- less scripted and more spontaneous and once in a while a gem comes along. Even a good muck up can be great therapy - once in a while.
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