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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > What if she just wanted sex?      Home login  
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 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 5
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What if she just wanted sex?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Ok, I have to wonder, do you feel it would have been better to have a meaningless night of sex, and missed out, when you could have gotten that???

I am NOT being judgmental, just asking a question here...

She may have wanted sex, but it doesn't seem like it to me... If she had wanted sex wouldn't she have been climbing all over you, and grabbing your crouch or butt, and deep throating you with her tongue, as she asked to see YOUR ROOM???

I don't know how men think, and from many posts it seems that even if all you get is laid, then you scored... However if you wanted to be respectful, and she says meh, you did nothing for me, then you wonder if you missed out on a score, that contradicts wanting more...

There are lots of people I'd love to have sex with... In my single days, but those movie star hunks are just to far for me... LOL

It doesn't seem she was into you, and she told you so... Sometimes we win, sometimes we are booted to the curb...
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 8
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What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 2/7/2010 7:44:10 PM
Chin up you're an attractive guy, you just haven't met the person that really clicks for you...

Meaningless sex may be fun, and if that is the mind frame your in, hey cool, but they can be costly as well...STD, freaks wanting to rob you come to mind, yeah I know Drama drama, it happens...

I don't she wanted to get laid, at least by you, BUT reality is, we aren't for everyone, and everyone is not for us...


So, I wouldn't mind hearing some opinions and experiences from both guys and girls on this. How can I distract myself from her? What should I do to come across as being cool, calm and collected but not seem uninterested? What are the right and wrong things to do on the crucial second date? I'm infatuated in a way. Maybe thats why Im coming across as clingy. I dont want to let her slip through my fingers.
Oh sunshine...

Be yourself, life offers only a few guaranties. if you get so nervous and worried you are going to mess things up, then you will come across as desperate, and unnatural...

You can get to six months and everything derails, thus nobody can give you that much advice to make things work, WHEN you really don't know each other...

Think about it, what if on your second date she admits she has an STD, or 5 kids, from dads she doesn't know who... Or what ever unattractive trait that would make you run for the door... Then you have spent much time stressing for well something that wasn't going to work...

In my 20's I used to worry, and I missed very important warning flags, just because I wanted to make SOMETHING work. Well got married, and it was miserable... Divorced after nine years of ME trying to make it work...

I met someone from here in 08, and we married last Sept... We took things at a pace that seemed to work for both of us, and it worked...

Poor guy, I end up getting so ill I have to use a cane, and on the edge of do we have to go to the hospital or not... BUT he loves me with all his heart, and tells me to stop fretting about things turning out like this with my health, it wasn't a choice I made, nor a life style that caused it...
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 16
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What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 2/8/2010 12:22:51 AM

Ive started thinking recently though that she wanted to have sex, and spent the night out with me and it led nowhere for her, so she didn't get what she was looking for.
I'm thinking if SHE really wanted sex; she would have gotten laid. Bottom line: "She's just not that into you." Sorry; not trying to be a pr1ck, but...
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 24
What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 2/8/2010 5:50:24 AM
Oh jeez...I sure hope that the guys I've met from POF in the last couple of years - and didn't find an attraction to - didn't go home thinking I wanted sex from them when I didn't agree to a 2nd date. Cringe.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 26
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What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 2/8/2010 8:52:44 AM
If she just wants sex, if you find her doable, give her what she wants, and then pursue someone else for something a bit more meaningful and committed-!
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 29
What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 2/8/2010 6:36:37 PM
Been there, didn't go through with it either. She came over after we talked for a week and we saw a movie. We agreed before not to have sex, however she spent the whole night feeling me up and squirming. I didn't know wether or not I should go through with it, despite what she said and risk having her not see me again. (Ya know, "do" ya & lose ya) Danmed if ya do, damned if ya don't. Know what I mean?

She got up in the morning and kept saying "I can't believe/nobody is going to believe we didn't have sex." AARGH!!! Lady, make UP your mind, will ya!

Naturally she didn't call/write or see me again after that... I could say I outsmarted myself but I feel like I dodged a bullett.
I still wouldn't sleep with somebody the first meet or date.

When I met my GF she later told me it was hard not to sleep with me on our 1st date, but she was glad she didn't. We've been together almost a year.

Bottom line, I think is you just have to meet the right person. If they like you, and value you, it doesn't matter. They will wait and let it build up til you attack each other with animalistic passion... (Been there... Yeah, baby!) OR if it does happen, you find yourself together or friends anyway.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 30
What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 5/28/2010 12:29:49 PM
Yep, if that's what you suspect, your probably right. And for you to suspect that, tells me she was probably sending you vibes. So now she may be thinking in somewhat of a conceded manner thinking I'm beautiful he knew it I hinted at what I wanted, and he passed it up. Next! Thats's the impression I'm geting. Don't feel to bad, it's probably happened to many men. It's sometimes confusing for a man wether or not to act on his urges or someone elses and play it cool. It's something you should learn through experience.
 BlueEyedGuy1974
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 32
What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 6/6/2010 11:37:53 AM
To the OP.

To many variables to consider. She may have had 2nd thoughts and decided you weren't what she wanted. Whatever that maybe.

Hell I've been on dates where I act like I'm very interested. Only to go home and delete all contact of said person. And I know I've had it done to me.

So yes maybe she wanted sex. Maybe she was hoping you would try for more than just a kiss. Maybe she likes the guys who are aggressive. The fact that you didn't even try might of sent a red flag in her head that you just aren't the right guy sexually for her.

I always go into a date with the impression that she has said yes. Unless at some point during the date she says no verbally or through body language.

Either way just move on to the next fish in the sea. Because there are plenty of fish
 passionteman
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 33
What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 6/6/2010 11:49:23 AM
If things are going on a flow, nothing wrong with having sex on the first date.
 .dej
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 36
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What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 6/6/2010 11:34:47 PM
Sounds like she just wasn't interested and was up-front about it.
 PrettyInPink2882
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 37
What if she just wanted sex?
Posted: 6/7/2010 2:30:27 AM
Well I have done the same thing kinda I've been on dates and I had a great time with men but I have many interests that I'm into and none of the guys I went out with were into it...Like I'm a closet paranormal freak lol....guess they know now anyways maybe if you ask what her interests or what she was really into or passionate about...just my 2 cents best of luck fishing.
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