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 AUTHOR
 carmensimone
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 3
My Thoughts on EmotionsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
This is a very good post! I'm sure the women NOT wanting to hear truth are trying to delete this thread. Sad.....it's like way bother, just let these weak women cry and whine over men for the rest of their life.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 5
My Thoughts on Emotions
Posted: 2/13/2010 7:22:28 AM
Everyone of us "feels". It's what we do with these feelings/emotions and how we act upon them that seperates us. Certain sayings that I don't enjoy hearing.

"Don't be mad"

" Don't cry"

"Don't be upset"

Etc,etc,etc.

I don't enjoy people telling me how to feel.It's a silly thought. Now,,,if you are going to explain to my why I shouldn't feel a certain thing,,,,get at er!!!! I'm listening,,,,but at the moment,,,,I will be feeling what I feel.

Personally,,,I am an emotional "person", and with that I act upon my emotions. I do think about why I am feeling the way I do,,,but I don't try to hide or bury those emotions. Again,,,I believe,,,,a silly thought. Thou,,,from experince,,,it scares the hell out of a lot of females to see a man who is a emotional being. I do believe they think have that market cornered,,,,which they don't.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 6
My Thoughts on Emotions
Posted: 2/13/2010 8:17:28 AM
It's a mixed bag of goods when it comes to genders but there are some over all generalizations made for a reason and it does have to do both with condtioning/upbringing and what makes a male a male and what makes a female a female. Men are "generally" more aggressive and less emotional based thinking than women because of both conditioning and hormonal composition and females are "generally" more emotional for the same reasons. Both have a varying degree of each trait in larger or smaller doses, depending on the person. For that reason, you do have to learn how to relate to the individual, even though there are general gender predispositions. Confusing, to say the least, for most people to wrap their head around, but it's no different than having two main categories of something with many sub-categories under each.

I find the biggest area where male emotions and female emotions are most readily displayed is in the workplace. My daughter worked with all males of various ages for 6 years and recently changed jobs to a workplace that is all female of various ages. I told her she'd have to make a conscious adjustment in how she interacted and to not allow herself to be drawn into their emotional way of workplace interaction. She knew this going in to some degree because, like me, she's less tolerant of the "predominent" emotion based thinking/acting displayed by females in general terms. This isn't to say that she didn't run across a couple of emotional men in her previous all male job, but it's nothing compared to what she finds in this job. She finds women being offended by each other at the drop of a hat, crying because of an abrasive client, cattiness, etc. So, although she knew there would be this going in, she's still astounded at the vast differences in male to female displays of emotion. Again, not all of them are operating on emotions but the higher percentage are and she deals with each accordingly, just as she did with the males in her previous job.
 aliveone1
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 7
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My Thoughts on Emotions
Posted: 2/13/2010 1:54:26 PM
Most of my close friends are men. I think men are just as emotional as women, but many of them don't feel that they can express their emotions as freely as many women do. I think that is what the OP was getting at too. However, just because men may not talk as freely about their emotions, doesn't mean that they are not affected deeply by them. It also doesn't mean that their emotions don't affect their decision making or actions either. I've always thought that men and women are more similar than different.

I can do without a lot of unnecessary outward drama, though, that I find is common when I hang out with women. That's probably why I gravitate toward male friends.
My Thoughts on Emotions
Posted: 2/13/2010 4:27:26 PM
i think men and women are equally emotional, but the way they approach the emotional basis relationships is different. social conditioning plays a role: women are more often taught to equate themselves with their relationships; men are more often taught to equate themselves with their work. one reason you don't see fired women shooting up their workplaces.

but men's emotional lives are as important to them as women's. men perhaps are more emotionally fragile in their relationships: widows seems to have an easier time adjusting than widowers.

It looks to me, if you look at crime statistics,
that women are the ones who need to be worried about the opposite sex.

in my family it was my mom who would drink and throw punches at my dad.

be that as it may, i don't think men are any worse than women when it comes to acting out anger. women are just more subtle. they know emotional pain is as bad as physical pain in its own way, and far easier to get away with inflicting.

if a father is really angry over how another kid treats his daughter, he might go over to the kid's house and kick his ass, then end up in jail. if a mother is really angry, she might engineer a defamation campaign that undermines the reputation and relationships of the kid and his family, with no risk of jail.

America is pretty much a breeding ground for traumatized adolescent killing men who are battle-ready. I'm not trying to troll this thread, but the military is the biggest business in America, DUH!

i'm down with the sentiment, but this is a pretty large overstatement. the john wayne archetype is based on a family dynamic that long predates the founding of the u.s.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 14
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History
My Thoughts on Emotions
Posted: 2/14/2010 12:32:58 PM
I suppose we all could become sociopathic, without emotion. But then, what would we do without anyone who posessed normal human response? Who would we mimic? Would we all live in Stepford-like indifference, Dr. Spocks all of us .. I suppose.. (??)

I found it much easier to control immediate emotional response and learned to be a lot more logical once I was finished going through menopause.. Estrogen/progesterone depletion enabled this woman to respond in a more testosterone influenced way ..

Provocative thread, OP.. kudos!
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 16
My Thoughts on Emotions
Posted: 2/14/2010 1:39:49 PM
Neither emotional based thought or action, or logical/rational based thought or action is "vilified". It's more a case of when one is used or acted upon on a constant basis to the exclusion and detriment of the other where problems arise. No one says a person should be without emotion any more than a person should use logical, rational thought in totality. You'd be non-functioning within society (or even on your own) if you relied on either solely to get by in life. You can have women (and some men) who attempt to get by on crying, hysterionics, the silent treatment, etc. as a way to display their emotion and it will turn people away, or a man (or a woman) who attempts to get by on yelling, bullying, punching everyone's lights out when they can't effectively use rational thought in combination with their emotions. By the same token, you can have a robotic individual who lacks a sense of humour, is overly analytical, dismissive of other's feelings and emotions who will just as easily turn people away. As per usual, balance in all things provides a better life for yourself and those around you. You can learn how to temper extremes of either and not use either as an excuse for the actions that follow.
VVVVV ....lol...whatcha sayin' Willis?....I don't consider myself to be totally one way or the other, however, if I felt vilified for using logic, wouldn't that then be an emotional response? I'd tend to just want to use more logic...until I became frustrated with the emotions of who I'm trying to be logical with...which would tend to bring out an emotion...well...you see how that thar balance tends to work...*snickers*
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 17
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My Thoughts on Emotions
Posted: 2/14/2010 2:12:30 PM

Actually, I've found that extremely logical/rational thought based people are more often villified than overly emotional people. I'm surprised you don't feel that.
That certainly could be verified right here in the fora. "Over-emotional" type responses get you no where except ridiculed and simply end you up feeling even more negatively-emotionally riddled. I find it less exhausting using logic.

That being said.. A person can certainly become un-healthy emotionally if who they are dealing with refuses to discuss logically or otherwise.

If the steam is never allowed to escape from the pressure cooker.. Someone will eventually blow a gasket.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 18
My Thoughts on Emotions
Posted: 2/14/2010 4:58:41 PM

The difference, is you have a vagina, and that makes you exempt from being labelled a misogynist.

Too funny--not really. I was just about to say something about self-loathing, but then I noticed she DISTANCES herself from the very Truths she proclaims. What kind of crazy person says, "All [gender] are this way, I've seen it with my own eyes!" And then in the next breath says, "Of course, *I* am not like this." So, why the theory, then?? You have proof positive that it isn't necessarily so! You have REALITY (yours) RIGHT in your face, yet you aver to the world that This Is So*. It's a REALLY common tactic on PoF, too.

Lots of people are screwed up. Men are stalkers, and infamously so. But because men are mor elikely to be murderers doesn't mean ALL men are murderers. Don't take the worst-case scenario as your Truth. I especially how OP likes to say to women to "stop being [insert emotino here]" but doesn't go ont o sya to MEN to "stop being stoic". This is the HALLMARK of a true misgynist, frankly. Seeing that ALL the problems are in WOMEN. Nice, sleep well, OP.





*Except not for me, of course
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
My Thoughts on Emotions
Posted: 2/14/2010 5:46:56 PM
OP - I am adding you to my favorites. I don't think I have ever seen a more well thought out description of how I feel thus far in life.

I have emotions; I am female - however I don't use those two factors as a pass to lose control over them or break down randomly in public. I express my emotions when I need to, but I do it where I feel it's appropriate, which is usually in private.

Doesn't mean I don't feel, it means I know where and when and how it's right to express what I feel. There are definitely times and places for things.

Of course I was brought up not to be overdramatic and I wasn't coddled or handed things when I cried as a kid either - I was taught that if I acted like I was dying and in reality I only scraped my knee I was going to get yelled at for freaking out a lot of people. As I got older it's one of the few things I learned from upbringing that I actually agree with.

I also believe that someone who's not crazy about me isn't an option for me so by default I can't continue wanting to get involved with someone who isn't.
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