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Joined: 12/13/2007
Msg: 1
Mad for three daysPage 1 of 1    
Both of my ex-wives followed the mad-for-three-days rule. For example, if we were making idle chatter and I accidentally hit a nerve with an innocent comment, they would get very angry and remain mad at me for exactly three days. Not two days, not four days, almost always exactly three days. My question is: Is this biological or cultural in origin? (It was too consistent to be coincidental).

The reason I ask is that I would like to know if this is a hard-wired thing that comes with the turf or if I should consider it a warning to run away from a budding relationship.

Please, no opinions (conclusions based not in fact) wanted, just empirical science. Thanks.
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 2
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/15/2010 9:02:14 PM
Are you serious? You think women could be genetically programmed to not talk to there man for three days exactly because in your experience, TWO women did that so you think it could apply to ALL women? Is that right?

I must admit being curious what kind of response you are expecting since you don't want opinions or, conclusions based not in fact but rather, empirical science (wouldn't that be facts)?
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 3
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/16/2010 12:08:34 AM
WOW that's way more than cute
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 4
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/16/2010 6:33:39 AM
The stages of being angry are three. The initial reaction, the anger proper, and the resolution. For someone whose mood is mysteriously beyond their knowledge and influence, it is left for the natural cycle of sleep and wake to provide a means of progress. The initial reaction lasts until it is ended by that day ending. That night her mind wrestles the problem. The next day she wakes up fully angry and has to try out what her dreams suggested. That takes all day and ends by the day ending. Then again she dreams and finds the answer of getting over it, which she wakes to do, and in that expectation is neither reacting initially or being angry anymore, but is reconciliatory, which you notice and so you emerge from the safety of your frozen and pensive posture, to smile again now that it is once again well received to do so. If you need that to be empirical, imagine you were told about it by an emperor, penguin or otherwise.
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 5
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/16/2010 8:46:43 AM
Who knows? In a "budding relationship", I make it clear that I will not be participating in any screaming matches. She can be as mad at me as she wants to be, but I will NOT take silence or fool answers like "you should know!" I will not allow nor take "punitive punishments" which I find childish. Either discuss the issue in a rational manner or adjust your attitude...either way works for me.

Don't know why you allow anyone to be "mad at you" for three days. Why bother being involved with someone if they are going to act like that towards you? Dump them and find someone who is a bit more compatible towards you.
Also...just for fun...did these two women you speak of have the same astrological sign? Just asking.....
Joined: 12/13/2007
Msg: 6
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/16/2010 11:41:05 AM
Thank you onus and impohell for your thoughtful responses.

It takes me a variable amount of time to get over a good mad, which is why I am puzzled by the three day consistency. Altho my Q was born of ex-wives, I did not mean to state or even imply that a 3-day thing is limited to women, and I certainly did not think that! Admittedly, my Q was poorly worded, and that is certainly a very good reason for others to ridicule me so cavalierly.

Yes, I could look up anything on the internet, but I have a life and I was asking in the hope that someone who already had lots of knowledge on the subject could save me a lot of time, which onus and ompohell did.
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 7
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/16/2010 1:52:04 PM

Also sex is an emotion. Sex is a whole bunch of chemical reactions, but it is more than just the act. It is also the thrill of the chase, and for some people that is even more addicting.

HUMMM pitty you are way up in the cold... we could test your theory, formulate some detailed explicit experiments to test, and formulate our test results by seeing if we would go through withdrawls after seperating from each other after the events

Sorry couldn't resit inputting my smartazz spin on that statement
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 8
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/16/2010 1:52:38 PM
You made her mad; get over it.
When she's ready "F" her brains out and show her what she missed.
That always cures my attitude, but this is me.
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 9
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/16/2010 2:19:47 PM
My knee jerk reaction is nonsense but there are a few factors that might explain your 3 day experiences.

1. I usually have a 3 day mood swing each month and am also triggered more easily during that time. Negative feelings can stay with me longer than normal. I am aware of this so if I get triggered I tend to hold it in and not say much until I feel my mood is back to normal and my judgement not skewed by it. I dislike negative feelings though so I'm the one most likely demanding resolution and to come to some understanding so those feelings don't brew inside of me. 3 days is too long for those feelings to brew for me personally.

2. Perhaps you are the type that takes a certain amount of time to think things over. Once you do, your attitude changes in subtle ways. It could be your own change in attitude over a 3 day period that is impacting the way those close to you are behaving. I notice sometimes my bf will argue with me over a point to the point I get frustrated and just give up. Then in a day you see his behavior changing. He thought about what I said and has adjusted his behavior ...he just won't talk about it. He's happier, I'm happier...we're all happier. I know he listened to me, even though if at the time, he didn't appear to be.
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 10
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/17/2010 6:47:46 AM
Er, it probably has its origin in your tendency to put up with dating humourless women who fly off the handle about "innocent" comments, if I had to guess.

Seriously, three days?
Why didn't you stop dating them on the first episode of that kind of nonsense?

Not only did you continue dating **both** of them, you **married** them both. The first time could be written off as an honest mistake, but the SECOND?

Of course, maybe your version of "innocent" comments are things like saying "no, your *ss is what makes you look fat, not those jeans", or coming home at 4:00 AM reeking of booze and perfume, slapping her on it and saying "you're next".

One woman's mean comment is another woman's deal breaker, is all I'm saying.

Oh, right, this has to be "empirical science". O.k., I've personally dated plenty of women, none of whom behaved that way. So it's not biological or cultural in origin. Empirical enough for you?
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 11
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/17/2010 7:00:14 AM
Hey O.P.~ If you like DOM women cool beans!
If you dont Sly is right. I get pissed but with good reason and not for 3 days.
A man has to screw up BIG to get my goat but then it's an all out battle~
Watch for flying object battle cause I get nasty~
but everyone that knows me and my posts great sex does solve just about anything!
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 12
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/17/2010 11:55:14 AM
You are dealing with immature women. Real women stay pissed for life... if it's worth getting pissed over. LOL... guys are so weird.
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 13
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/24/2010 3:17:04 PM
It has been my experience that it's men that are the ones that give you the silent treatment. OP since you've had 2 wives, maybe you are the problem.
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 14
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/24/2010 7:58:19 PM
The only time I was ever able to be mad for more than 24 hours , or depressed, or hanging on to any negative monkey on my back for that long was when my son had been assaulted, his face broken and the kid who had been paid to do it, had used a weapon but got off with just a handslap with no investigation into who paid him. I was angry all the time, over a year.

I have grieved for extended periods, tried to get on with life and it took a few rough bumps in life to wake up and see that I was hanging on to the past and the pain of losing someone. But be mad for three days? Over BS? Over anything? Geeze, if someone had the ability to keep me in a state of mad for that long, it'd be way past time to leave him. If someone hung on to anger for me for that long, for BS, I'd be already gone.
Joined: 12/13/2007
Msg: 15
Mad for three days
Posted: 2/27/2010 11:20:08 AM
Some of y'all need to lighten up. I asked an honest question, and I am not a bad man. Ok?

An example of an innocent question: Ex-wife #2 and I are in a restaurant and our conversation is waning. I enjoy conversation. Her friend, whom I will call Jill, is in the hospital. I ask her how Jill is doing. Jill is much older and terminally ill (she later died). Ex-wife #2 gets mad and demands to know why I want to talk about Jill. I answer that I am just trying to make conversation. Ex gets mad and stays mad for three days. (Yes, yes, I know that my response might have been the real reason she got mad, but so what? It was still innocuous). Boring.

Ex #2 and I are in another restaurant at a later date. She asks about Ron (not real name). I tell her Ron is no better than last week when we visited him in the hospital (he later died). I do not get mad, but remembering her Jill Mad and remind her of it. She haughtily says "That's different!" Similarly, if I brought up the name of an old flame, she got mad for 3 days, but if she brought up the name of a gigolo (her word) that she used to play with, it was water off my****s back. Evidently, in her mind, what is good for the goose is not good for the gander. Boring.

As for why I married them, well, I come from an abusive mom, so I guess I "married my mom." But I'm much better now! LOL I have studied the problem, have worked to overcome it thru reading extensively on the subject and beaucoup soul searching. And it is a large part of why I asked my question. I now have a lot of friends. I have the respect of my peers in the consulting field, and my clients and bosses think highly enough of me to pay me about $70k annually working half-time. They do not think I am a bad man.

Incidentally, Ex-wife No. 1 was Bosnian, I met her here when their civil war broke out and learned the hard way why they kill each other over there. I would never send our soldiers there again.

himynameisSarah: You are correct. I married the wrong women for the wrong reasons, duh. Heh, one woman told me that my "picker was broken." And for the same wrong reasons I (recently realized) that most of my best guy friends over the years have been abusive to me. So, now armored with the scars of abuse and shielded by the light of (empirical LOL) knowledge, I am getting shed of abusive acquaintances and my life is much better now.

pof1961 and several terse guys here: boring and abusive. Why is it that those with the least to say demand that I tell them everything?

Carry on. Enough of this thread. Gotta go catch a fish.
Show ALL Forums  > Science/philosophy  > Mad for three days