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 myblueshadow
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 1
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Birth ControlPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
In another thread there was a lot thrown out about whose responsibility is birth control. Obviously, outside of a committed relationship, I would say each individual is responsible for themselves, but I am wondering when in a committed relationship, who do you think should be responsible for birth control? Should men trust that women are on the birth control they say they are on? What are you thoughts? Experiences?
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 2
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:32:41 PM
Unless your married or living together committed, and thinking or planning on having children. The responsibility is on BOTH of you, and especially on you, for your own protection. To say to anyone, I trust you 100%, when not married seems foolhardy.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 3
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:34:17 PM
If you don't wish to have children, then making sure you're as protected as possible and taking the onus for that protection upon yourself, seems the logical way to go... always
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 4
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:35:20 PM
I would assume in committed relationtionships, and assuming that both partners have already been tested, it is the woman's responsibility to remain on a form of BC if her and her partner doesn't have any plans on becoming a parent any time soon.

In the end, the responsibility is up to both partners.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 5
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:35:29 PM
I've always taken on the responsibility 100% for birth control. The type, costs, administering it...

I'm the one that would eventually be squeezing those little bundles of joy out in wretching agony... that's something I take seriously.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 6
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:40:46 PM
IMO both parties should be responsible on their own. If it is about not having a baby, the one who really doesn't want a child should take responsibility for making sure they are using BC correctly to not have a child. If the man doesn't want kids, child support, or baby mama drama, he needs to take responsibility and make sure he is doing all he can to prevent "catching preggers".

Once you are a consenting adult engaging in sexual relations, you are aware of the consequences of your actions. Even in a committed relationship. There need to be two people to make the baby, so both parties should do their part to prevent one as well.

Yes, I know birth control isn't 100%, but amazingly if you use both female contraception and a condom, the chances for an "oops" drop dratically. Or at least that is my experience, seeing as I made it this far without an accidental kid. It's not about trust, it's about being responsible for your own actions.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 7
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:42:05 PM

...when in a committed relationship, who do you think should be responsible for birth control?


Um, unless you are having sex with yourself only, then the answer would be BOTH of you are responsible for birth control!

I see OP that you are at that age where the birth control pill can cause you some serious health issues. And quite frankly, it is not healthy for a woman to take hormones from a friggin' horse (in my opinion).

If you do not want children, then the best form of control would be either tubal or vasectomy.

Good luck with everything.

~crazyhorsewoman~
 myblueshadow
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 8
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:47:28 PM
This isn't about me. I am bringing this up because of another thread.

I guess I am surprised that so many people in long-term committed relationships expect the men to wear a condom, even if the women is using another form of birth control.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 9
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:51:51 PM

I guess I am surprised that so many people in long-term committed relationships expect the men to wear a condom, even if the women is using another form of birth control.


Which is their opinion and they're more than entitled to it. Frankly, if I was in a committed relationship and I knew we were both tested, I would be on a form of BC and my s/o wouldn't have to use condoms.

If people in committed relationships still prefer to wear condoms, that is completely up to them.
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 10
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 1:10:37 PM

I guess I am surprised that so many people in long-term committed relationships expect the men to wear a condom, even if the women is using another form of birth control.
You ask who should be responsible for birth control. Even if the woman is on the pill or using an IUD, these things fail. Therefore if the couple is committed to not having a pregnancy, that pregnancy prevention is enhanced if the guy uses a condom. This is simply common sense. What's so hard to get here??
 TallChick61
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 11
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 1:41:21 PM
If you can't trust them with your checkbook, don't trust them with your birth control.

Until they prove that you CAN trust them, you'd better behave as though you can't. Don't be an a55 about it, but do your part to protect yourself.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 12
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 2:04:36 PM
Like ALL OTHER things in life, if you don't want your life to be changed to what you think is a negative way...responsibility falls upon your own shoulders.

If you were a passenger in a car, would you not put on a seatbelt but tell the driver it was the driver's responsibility to not hurt you? you can trust all you want, but people make mistakes. Not that BC is 100% fail proof anyway, so doubling up doesn't hurt either :)
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 13
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 3:04:47 PM
Practicality overrules social equity in this situation. Only ONE of the people has full control of the womb. The guy CAN do various things to help, using condoms and so forth, but in the end only the woman actually controls things.
Legally, of course, no matter what happens, BOTH are equally responsible if a child results, no matter which one claimed to have taken responsibility.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 14
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 3:38:22 PM
We had a couple of kids, then I went and got knackered.

 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 15
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 4:07:03 PM

We had a couple of kids, then I went and got knackered.
I know a couple that did the same thing after their second child. Their third child came two years after he got snipped...

Vasectomy is not 100%, even after the man has been tested as shooting blanks the vasa deferentia can reattach.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 16
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 4:21:00 PM

I know a couple that did the same thing after their second child. Their third child came two years after he got snipped...

Vasectomy is not 100%, even after the man has been tested as shooting blanks the vasa deferentia can reattach.


Yup, but it's very rare.

The couple you didn't mention probably didn't get re-tested. The <1% failure usually happens in the first year, from what I understand.

 wikki tikki
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 17
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 4:31:37 PM
youre responsible for your own birth control.... if you leave it up to him thats your choice not to take means upon yourself...
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 18
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 5:44:58 PM

Men sometimes refuse to wear a condom


It's really not that hard: if the man refuses to wear a condom, DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM!.

BOTH partners have a responsibility to protect themselves equally. Just as both partners have a responsibility to accept the consequences of their actions and decisions.
 Friendly widow
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 19
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 5:49:20 PM
In theory, they should be equally responsible for birth control. However, it is usually the woman who takes charge here. We are all aware that some of those women have been known to change their minds without advising their partner and pregnancy results.Hence I would suggest that the man take whatever precautions -ie condoms-he deems necessary! And yes all types of BC have a failure rate!
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 20
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 5:55:56 PM
Oh yeah. Come to think of it, I have a relative that uses condoms because she doesn't like the idea of being on the pill. They always gave her the feeling of sickess, which I suppose was a side effect.
She is indeed in a committed relationship. So yeah. Some women don't find BCP to be good contraception, but there are other methods of BC besides the pill.


It's really not that hard: if the man refuses to wear a condom, DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM!.


I agree but I would think that would only refer to people that aren't in comittted relationships.
 oldkid
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 21
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 7:58:54 PM

I know a couple that did the same thing after their second child. Their third child came two years after he got snipped...

Vasectomy is not 100%, even after the man has been tested as shooting blanks the vasa deferentia can reattach.


Now they put little metal clips on the ends of the severed tubes. Almost impossible to reattach.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 22
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 8:21:22 PM

For example, let's say you move in with your boyfriend and are using
condoms regularly but then a time comes when one night you run
out so just this once you don't use one. As time goes by, you give up
on using them altogether as you are half asleep and he is on top of you.
One day you discover you are pregnant.

Sounds easy to say just don't have sex if he won't use a condom right?
Just like it sounds easy to say that it is the responsibility of both the
man and woman to use birth control. Life isn't this simple unfortunately.


And you can STILL say NO. Just because you live with someone doesn't mean you HAVE to have sex with them anytime they want it. If you are BOTH responsible, you will never run out of condoms. It's like toilet paper....anytime you get to half a pack, buy a new pack so you aren't left in the lurch.

Besides, in the situation you listed above, there are other things you can do without the condom that won't put you at risk of pregnancy....just a thought.

You keep saying "in an ideal world", yet this is my world. Plain and simple, if the man would even consider having sex without a condom, I won't be with him. Part of being a responsible, sexually active adult is taking responsibility for your own protection. This means that BOTH men and women are responsible for ensuring condoms are used all the time.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 23
Birth Control
Posted: 2/17/2010 10:30:59 PM
barefootkitten said:

Part of being a responsible, sexually active adult is taking responsibility for your own protection. This means that BOTH men and women are responsible for ensuring condoms are used all the time.


Thank you! The most common sense statement anyone could have ever made.

As a woman who just about died from taking the pill (leg bloodclot at 20 years), I didn't really have alot of other options otherwise and my boyfriend at the time didn't have no choice but to use them either. No condom, no sex and it was as simple as that.

Damn, I should have bought shares in good ol' Trojans....

~crazyhorsewoman~
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 24
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Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 12:00:32 AM
You would need to discuss this and if you can't trust the other person you shouldn't be sleeping with them. But if you for sure do not want to have children, then make sure you are safe no matter what type of relationship you are in.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 25
Birth Control
Posted: 2/18/2010 12:30:12 AM
I think a sexually active guy is a fool for not using the best tool at his disposal to prevent STD's and pregnancy: a condom. I think a sexually active woman is a fool for not using the best tools at her disposal to prevent STD's and pregnancy: a condom AND another form of contraceptive. So it's the woman who has the most control over preventing pregnancy.

Condoms and other contraceptives can be acquired for FREE in virtually every town at a free clinic or college health center. There's really no reason for unwanted pregnancies in this day and age and anybody who doesn't do what's in their power to avoid one is, well, a fool.
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