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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Do guys like these exist past 35?      Home login  
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 thatusernameistaken
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 2
Do guys like these exist past 35?Page 1 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I think they all live in Southern California. lol

A funny observation I've made in the last few days. As I read the forums I often look at the message posters profiles, even the guys. I've seen quite a few now of 35+ single, never married, no kids, good job, good looking guys; almost all of them lived in SoCal. lol
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 6
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/19/2010 1:11:19 PM
Of course they exist.

I know of a good handful.

However, these guys aren't going to be looking for you.

They are at the top of the game when it comes to appeal. These are the men that are in high demand and that most women want. Most all women, including the young hot ones that are ready to settle down and start a family.

The guys I know who fit the requirements you have listed are in such high demand that they can afford to pick and choose - and they do.

Also, you won't find them on line. They have no need or inclination when their date books are already filled to bursting.
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 9
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/19/2010 1:27:33 PM
I'm not talking about hot guys either.

Average, every day guys that have their life in order.

You seriously believe that 20 somethings aren't open to dating and marrying a guy that is over 35?

Haha, I will inform my guy friends that fit your requirements to let them know they are doing it all wrong... 'cause it's not the guys pursuing these girls, it's the girls pursuing them.
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 15
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/19/2010 1:36:18 PM

I would respectfully disagree with all of these statements.


Get back to me when you are closer to 40 than 30.

Your experience may be different from the guys I know but that doesn't change their experience. I see it, we talk about it and I'm ecstatic for them. A lot of these guys are the ones that focused on school, career, life, etc. because they didn't have much luck with women when they were younger. They were too serious, not hot enough, too nice, etc.
Now they are the most sought after in their age group.
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 17
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/19/2010 1:41:11 PM

No I disagree about this


LOL how can you disagree with another persons experience? It's not an opinion, it's what is actually happening.

Just because you wouldn't do this or that when you were 20 doesn't mean that 20 somethings today are the same.

I wouldn't have either. I wouldn't even date them because I don't like older men.

Older women can find them, they do exist. You either aren't looking in the right places or your social network is very narrow.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 31
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/19/2010 6:35:32 PM

never married/no kids
looking to get serious and eventually married
not just looking for sex
employed (or unemployed due to the economy but previously employed)
average weight (not obese)

They're out there.

I doubt it. Most of those online guys have at least one defect. Notice I didn't say anything about height, income, looks, or anything else superficial? I don't care about that. I don't even care aboute degree, though I have two. I have my own money so don't expect a guy to support me either.

Uhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm ~ YES, you most certainly did say something "superficial." You spoke of weight.

~OT~ I generally ONLY meet/date men that meet that short list. Aside from "average." I prefer fit to hard-body. (And I have a very slim age-appropriate range 2-3 years in either direction, no exceptions.) The only man I'm interested in not only meets that list, but surpasses it with intelligence, sense of humor, wonderful sense of self, hopes/dreams, a truly beautiful body, AND? there isn't an ounce of "player" in him. It's like the man lottery (at least for me.)
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 41
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 8:23:29 AM
Related Words for "serious": dangerous, grave, momentous, grievous, life-threatening, severe

Doesn't sound very enjoyable to me. I mean, unless you're trying to find something heavily laden with the potential for mucho drama.

Perhaps you should choose a different word, one which isn't an instant turn-off.
 cc304
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 43
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 9:02:59 AM
Why do they always pick on the fat guys??? Hey, fat people need love too......

Is it at all possible that maybe you spend so much time picking people apart that you are failing to see what they do bring to the table? You pointed out that you didn't say anything about height, income, looks, or anything else superficial. So, are you saying that you would be interested in a broke, ugly dwarf as long as he was skinny? C'mon already......
 EGJV
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 44
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 9:06:24 AM

but whether or not I will still meet such criteria in three years? who knows



Man I hope this implies I will find what I'm looking for within the next 5 years!

OP: so you're someone who used to date only hot professionals and now's coming up to 40 and can't find a decent average guy over 35. So what happened with all those hot guys? Not marriage material? Or were you counting on all the average guys on waiting for you to give them a chance?
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 46
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 9:39:34 AM
For starters, I'm amused at all the guys who chimed in with "That's me! Uh... in a few years." The age actually has relevance here because some of you might find yourself married before you're 35.

I want to comment on one of the OP's criteria: Not just looking for sex.

There are plenty of guys who aren't JUST looking for sex but they still want to have sex. But I know from another thread the OP started that she needs a ring on her finger before she'll have sex. So in regard to whether there are many men 35+ who fit all those criteria AND won't have sex with a woman before marriage, there are plenty of them. But they're all gay.
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 47
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 11:03:58 AM
^^^Spot on Alooo, as I've come to expect from your posts. And hilarious too!

OP, there are some guys out there that fit all of your qualifications. The issue is, by narrowing your search parameters so much, are you cutting down on your chances of finding a good man to share your life? I'll give you an example from my life.

For years, I wanted to get married and have a family. I was married and divorced very young and had a son when I was still practically a child myself. I made the best of the situation I could, but always felt like I had missed out and wanted another chance to have a family someday. But as I got older, it became less and less likely it was going to happen. Point is, it would be silly of me to restrict myself to only women that wanted to have children when the odds of that were so decreased. The most important thing for me is to find a good, loving person to be in my life, and I feel like I shouldn't reject a person like that based solely on her desire to have or not have kids.

Same with your deal with a guy never being married. Everyone has their preferences and deal breakers too, but why would one of them be that he was married previously or that he has children, as long as he loves you and wants to have children with you some day? Sure it can get complicated, but lots of people make it work every day. If you absolutely must have this, well, that's your choice, but the statistics are against you. And as Alooo pointed out, if that also includes a ring on your finger before he gets in your bed, well, you may wait forever.
 EGJV
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 50
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 1:05:57 PM

And why should I sleep with a guy who doesn't care about me? Been there, done that.


Trust me, it shows. But since those are the guys you chose, what right do you have to complain now?


And you guys who think a 20something will want to date a 40 year old fat guy who's not wealthy are the delusional ones. I bet I marry before you do.

How sweet and considerate! Your personality really shines through. If I were to bet, I'd bet that if you marry before 55 it's out of desperation.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 52
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 1:34:28 PM

Notice I didn't say anything about height, income, looks, or anything else superficial?

average weight

Well, that IS about looks, even though average isn't really superficial by most people's standards... ;)

never married

That's superficial when you're talking about someone past 35. And if you're 39 yourself (for REAL 39), demanding that someone must be 36 or older is a little superficial. Hey, just being technical.

I'd say it'd be hard to find a guy never married at 36 who is okay looking and looking for a LTR, if you don't live near a big city (like Chicago). Also -- you don't have a picture. Looks DO mean something, so it isn't all about you -- it's about them too. Put up a picture of yourself. You're going to only be able to get a guy in your league, if you're looking to be in a serious relationship, so keep that in mind.

I would say drop the "never married" bit. And no, I never was married, so it's totally cool for me to say that. :) I can understand if you're talking about 25, but at 35, well, that's just the way it is. No kids I can understand. But if they don't have any kids, a divorce they had 5 years ago bears less baggage anyway. If it's due to middle-eastern religious imposed rules (Xian, Jewish, Muslim), then I would say you should try and get up to speed on that, since trying to live by ancient times isn't always the wisest thing.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 60
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 2:53:38 PM

And the never married is because I am Catholic. I like the idea of the person marrying for the first time ever too.

I'm sure you'd prefer that, as many others would in the same shoes, but if they have no kids, and not recently divorced, it's not that bad. I think you are picking and choosing religious things, which I would say isn't any better or worse than superficial.

You say that the priest won't know about virginity, so now it's not about religious beliefs, but what you can get away with? Well, you CAN end up getting married if divorced if you are Catholic in general. So if it's a matter of being generally Catholic and what you can end up working out, marrying someone who was divorced won't stop you from getting married.

Honestly, I think it's about what you staunchly require. And your preferences about someone at minimum age, at the beginning of being middle-aged without ever being married AND Catholic (I'm throwing this preference we all know you have in here), is going to be hard outside a big city.
 aliveone1
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 62
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 3:57:27 PM
LaPrincess, Guys like you are looking for do exist. I know because I am dating one. But, I have to set you straight about your views about younger women dating older guys. I have been with my current guy since I was 26 and he was 46. Now I am 30 and he is 50. I've always been more attracted to guys who are about 20 years older.
 EGJV
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 67
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 4:56:31 PM
OP, if religious beliefs play into your choices so much, I'd think the place to start would be church... or churches, or church-related activities.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 68
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 5:38:53 PM
Yep.


Almost.


Divorced.

No kids of my own

Great job

fit.

Looking to get married

looking for a life long sexual partner, can't be bothered getting laid, just for the sake of getting laid.



Soooo I almost fit the bill.




How about a woman:

divorced

with no kids,

great job, makes around 70k - 80k/year,

owns her own house,

fit,

not afriad to have sex, but not looking to throw down with every guy she's ever met,

not a bar star,

looking to get married.


 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 70
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 5:57:06 PM
Age was never mentioned!


 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 72
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 6:13:24 PM
There are over 300 million people in the US alone , about half are men, x number are availible, etc, etc, etc...

I'm sure by the time we narrowed those stats down you would find more men that meet your criteria then you could shake a stick at, but taking such a pessimistic view of things is a good way to ensure they remain elusive. Maybe you should refraise your question to ask where and how they can be found.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 74
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/20/2010 6:51:36 PM

I'm sure by the time we narrowed those stats down you would find more men that meet your criteria then you could shake a stick at,


I actually did the math on this a while back because I differ from the norm in some big ways (for example: I'm taller than most women, don't believe in God, don't want children). I factored in deal-breakers, preferences and even probabilities of attraction by both parties. Basically the results said I should just give up. What I WANT would be nearly impossible to find. What I'd LIKE would be very difficult to find. But what I could be HAPPY with is out there. He won't be easy to find and he won't be wrapped in the package I expect but I know that if I keep searching I'll find somebody who will make me happy.
 hi_there_PPL
Joined: 2/11/2010
Msg: 81
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/21/2010 9:51:20 AM
Just because one desires such traits DOES NOT mean one deserve them.

Most single ppl are single due to their own delusions of unrealistic expectation and will continue to be so unless they accept reality.

It is one thing to be a holdout but another thing to bash others for own limitations.

Things I learned in life.

1. There is NO such thing as being underpaid.
2. PPL date their best opportunity.
3. Reality is never equal to fantasy.
4. Some ppl are just mentally ill.
 EGJV
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 86
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/21/2010 2:54:55 PM

I guess you can argue that obesity is not a superficial issue, but why not just say "good health?"


Because she's coming from an attraction standpoint, not a health one. It's pretty obvious, IMO...
 sanddallor
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 93
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Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/21/2010 8:47:23 PM
Thanks Alooo, I couldn't agree more.

First of all, I've often quoted Mark Twain in saying that there are lies, damned lies and statistics! Bottom line is, stats are what you make of them. If this gal is approaching life pessimistically, then she will find dispair. If she opens her mind to possibilities, then she is more likely to happen unto a good thing.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 97
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/22/2010 6:36:01 AM
^^Actually, patluvsvettes is a great example of why many men who should have lots of success on this site don't: they seem to have the package women want but fail in the presentation. You're like the sports car on the lot that's tucked in a corner covered in dirt. I see this a lot and it's very frustrating. There will be things in a guy's profile that interest me but nothing that's interesting. Profile review could be your friend.
 EGJV
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 99
Do guys like these exist past 35?
Posted: 2/22/2010 7:14:30 AM

There will be things in a guy's profile that interest me but nothing that's interesting.



Ugh Alooo... that sounds bad. Isn't a profile just an overview to see if the person's someone you might want to get to know? I don't browse profiles expecting excitement, entertainment, thrills and chills...
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