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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Top reasons a man leaves a woman?      Home login  
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 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 2
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?Page 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I was actually talking to a friend of mine about this just the other day. We agreed that of all the marriages we know that have broken up, it's predominantly the man leaving the woman, and in those, most of the time there's a third person involved.

I'd say that a lot of time, marriages just aren't what the person thinks they would be when they start out... the pressure and expectations get to them and they find someone that will feed their ego without the pressure... voilà... recipe for divorce.
 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 3
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:42:53 AM
{what would it take for you as a man to finally take the woman off the back burner and really split up?]

What................ are looking for ways to make your hubby leave?

Mine exmate is BiPolar and when her lack of empathy and drama was turned from me to my kid...............................then its time to protect my kid from his own mother...sad but true. I stayed until my kid turned 18 becuase I would never let her raise him alone.


Are you trying to get your hubby to leave? if so save yourself and family all the drama and get her done and move on
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 5
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:44:26 AM
You've never heard of a man leaving his wife?????????????


For every failed relationship there are a unique set of reasons. Here are the one's I've heard from guys that walked. Infidelity, boredom, finances, fell out of love, new job, kids left home, wife crazy etc.
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 7
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:45:16 AM
It's not a sex and sexuality issue....

Lack of affection, not feeling appreciated, not feeling useful, not feeling wanted.

Both men and women can often associate affection with sex, so when they go off sex they push their partner away completely, no hugs, no kisses, no snuggling up to watch a movie....... This is really hurtful when the partner only really wants to feel loved, as im sure many here will attest.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 8
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:45:49 AM
The top two reasons for divorce are money issues and the inability to have a kid. When there is a fault, affairs are at the top of the list, so that likely comes in third.

I don't think there's been much research on the predominant cause when one sex files versus the other sex filing, since the person filing for divorce is not necessarily the person with the greater cause or level of dissatisfaction.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 9
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 7:58:41 AM
There are three main reasons why a relationship goes astray. I cannot point the finger to the man or the woman per say because in the end they are both guilty of doing or not doing something and it was the other one that took it to the extreme. But from what I gather one is Resentment, bedroom issues, and infidelity.

They are all connected, but we can start with resentment because one partner feels that he/she no longer does this or that, or forgot, or didn't care about his. All those memories of unresolved issues build up to the point that either the person does not care, or all they do is fight about those things, thus the hurt escalates into a vicious cycle. This then may end up in the bedroom, where they then do not find one or the other interested in sex. Or it may be that while the relationship has fallen apart, the only glue that keeps it together is the sex. Finally, there's infidelity. Some relationships fall apart before this happens, other's don't. One seeks or discovers attention outside of the relationship and when this particular type of trust is broken. It's the end. Some people may be able to get back together, but most then go back to resentment and then they stray themselves.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 11
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 8:02:45 AM
Boredom
Stress (intolerable, damaging emotions)
She spends more money than both of you make (cheaper to leave her)

Those three are pretty much at the top of the list!
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 14
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 8:33:50 AM
MizBex and Strider nailed it, I think - at least as far as my reasons. Lack of appreciation and affection for a very long time, turning into verbal abuse, and finally adding in bipolar disease did it for me. I stayed until she was stable on her meds, but by then I had long ago decided to leave. In retrospect, I can't believe I stayed as long as I did, but leaving was the second best decision I've ever made. The best decision was choosing my current relationship!
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 16
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 8:43:19 AM
I think infidelity (being #1), incompatibility in and out of bed, and maybe that she's not a good mother to his kids. In that case there may be drug use or she's bat sh!t nuts.

If infidelity is the #1 reason, does anyone think men are less forgiving of an affair(s) than a woman is when her husband cheats. I've never asked a man this question, but am curious.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 17
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 8:46:36 AM
People leave relationships because they don't want to be in them anymore...the plethora of reasons why they want out may vary but I don't believe it's gender specific...

sidenote: read your profile too Comise....absolutely adore it!...but then, I am an admitted delusional optimist so...
 late™
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 26
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 11:04:02 AM
The only thing that has caused me to leave a relationship is dishonesty, ...the most basic of which is; her not being who she says she is, ...the actions not matching the deeds. This is always the basis of any betrayal.

Unconditional love requires reciprocal honesty, this is a condition that must exist before the relationship begins and it must be maintained in order for any unconditional devotion to continue.
 DIVISION77
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 27
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 11:16:03 AM
Sex.

Lack of it......or incompatibility.

or

Her having it with people other than him.

Those are the main disqualifiers.....

Most men do not forgive the sharing of punani........regardless of the reason.


 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 29
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 11:52:36 AM
OP,
IMHO there are many reasons why a man will leave a woman he says he loves/loved (and it goes for both genders and marriages/committed relationships).
Here are a few:

- Sexual compatibility/disfunction/lack of desire issues as one or both SOs age
- Dramatic change in personality (passive or aggressive) over time
- Medical/Mental issues
- Infidelity (either spouse/partner)
- Boredom/laziness (one or the other stops working to better the relationship)
- Not meeting relationship goals
- Falling out of love (yes, this does happen)
- Lied about being in love and was just along for the ride
- Monetary reasons
- Immediate family/In-Law issues
- Wanting/not wanting children
- Fights/arguments
- Realizing the relationships goals changed/incompatible goals
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 31
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 12:05:27 PM

Top reasons a man leaves a woman?



as many reasons as there is people, multiplied by 2.
 blue450
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 33
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 12:30:37 PM
I asked my Father years after my parents divorced what the reason was in the begining. After having her second child (my younger brother) she basically told him NO MORE SEX.....That's all I needed to know...the rest was affairs on his part (Maybe her 2?) fights, DRAMA, divorce....
 DIVISION77
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 35
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 12:51:39 PM

nope~
not religeon, not politics, not cooking skills, not even fVcking around
only one reason
and it only has three letters
and it ain't job (well it could be but not in common text)


......and this is coming from a woman, no less!

All these people are searching for answers, but the bottom line is sex.

If you can't see that, your relationship is lacking or you've never had quality.



 KGHOLLYWOOD
Joined: 2/17/2010
Msg: 37
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 1:10:34 PM
Main reason, cheating..Unlike many women, men dont stick around and give 2nd & 3rd chances to cheat again....Last time I left a reason, I just felt she was trying to change who I am...
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 39
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 1:15:16 PM

All these people are searching for answers, but the bottom line is sex.

If you can't see that, your relationship is lacking or you've never had quality.


I don't agree with this. In my marriage as well as with my last gf, the sex was out of this world. With my marriage it was the only thing that we had left while everything else had died. With my last gf, she was a very sexual person and we both had a high libido and it had nothing to do with that. I think in the end, it has to be reciprocity. If you do not feel is balanced, either because of respect for each other, or other issues that is what causes people to look elsewhere.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 42
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/23/2010 2:27:09 PM
Infidelity is the #1 answer in most cases, so of course that answer is a no brainer. I guarantee you that the majority of marriages end in divorce because of infidelity. Correct me with the most legit sources, if my guess is inaccurate.



I would say sex and weight gain.


Isn't this stretching things a bit? The majority of us aren't attracted to fat, but if your spouse is gaining weight, what are you going to tell them? You've gotten fat, now I want a divorce?

Someone should enlighten me because I really don't see how gaining weight would cause someone to divorce their partner soley for that reason. Especially since the weight can be lossed.

Plus, how much weight gain are we discussing here? I'm about 5'7 in a half, and weigh over 160. I am definitely putting on the pounds.

Now I suppose if the spouse becomes obese, a slob, and have no plans on losing weight out of pure laziness than I suppose weight gain would be a legit reason to get a divorce. But as I've stated previously, it all depends on the size of the woman and how much weight she is gaining, or have gained.

I understand attraction is important to a good majority of us, and a lot of us prefer our partners to be in shape. Even so, a lot of us do gain weight nonetheless.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 51
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/24/2010 9:41:01 AM
Top reasons a man leaves a woman...or vice versa.
Because it needs to be done(self-preservation)
Because he(or she)wants to.
Because he(or she) can.
Cindy O
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 53
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/24/2010 10:29:03 AM
Somewhat of an ODD question, I think. Are you trying to help some prospect find an excuse? Kidding.

Anyway, my one-and-only marriage ended at HER request, even though I was quite miserable in it for years as well. I don't plan on putting myself into a repeat situation, so the best I can give you is why I WOULD have pulled the rip cord, had she not done so.
Aside from the obvious that you mentioned (infidelity, which did NOT occur), I WOULD have left her long ago, had we not had child-care concerns. It would have been for the fact that we obviously had completely different ideas about what life is about, a total lack of respect for the others concerns and feelings, selfishness, childish refusal to cooperate on budgeting expenditures, disrespectful behavior to my entire family behind their backs, no sense of personal honor, and a habit of hitting me in my sleep when she was angry. In other words, general incompatibility.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 54
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/24/2010 10:59:06 AM
" When are we gonna get married " ?
" When are we gonna get married " ?
" Let's get married ".
" Marry me..... marry me now " !

Do you like me, or do you just want to get married ?

Women don't like it when a man pressures them into sex. Why should a man like it when a woman pressures him into marriage ?

It's the ulterior motive.
Never let me think there's something you're playing me for.
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 55
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/24/2010 11:22:52 AM

But really, what would it take for you as a man to finally take the woman off the back burner and really split up?...Is the sex 9/10ths of it?
I've never been married, but whenever I've ended a relationship, it's because we've had a discussion about a relationship aspect that I found dissatisfactory, and after the discussion the aspect remained dissatisfactory and I made an executive decision to end the relationship. Not necessarily because of sex, but on one occasion sex was the issue. I've never ended a relationship because of an affair or because of a suspected affair--but those are definitely legitimate reasons for a guy to bail on his partner.
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 58
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Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/24/2010 11:32:04 AM
edencapwell:
" - Wanting/not wanting children
well don't you think this should have or would have been discussed before marriage? i mean why marry someone who has different goals than you?? i know i definitely do NOT want children so why on earth would i marry someone who did? that's just dumb. "

I agree with you..plain dumb and it should be discussed BEFORE marriage. But, people are people and sometimes they will hide or can change their desires about having children until after they are in a long-term committed relationship/marraige.

 DIVISION77
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 62
Top reasons a man leaves a woman?
Posted: 2/24/2010 12:29:12 PM
women leave men more often. men need women more than the other way around. the need for sex or afraid of being alone are a few reasons.


Do you have stats that back up this claim.

Marriage and LTR, I tend to believe that men leave more often.....

The main reason men leave is "SEX".

Lack of it or she is having it with other people.

I can't believe of all the people on here only a few actually understand this.

It's not hard and in terms of daily life, sex is the biggest issue that people don't talk about.

People break up over it.......but they are scared to talk about it.


women are just built better to handle life and it's stresses.


When I was in the military, women were the least able to handle life's daily stresses.

In fact they were the least mentally prepared/fortified.

Civilian life hasn't proven much different.......

Most women seek out relationships...........much more than men.


Can't say that I agree with this as a "main" reason. I believe it's a side effect or symptom of other reasons. It's just something more tangible that certain men will articulate as the cause when they can't wrap their heads around the underlying causes for the reduced closeness in the relationship and the resultant lack sex that transpires.


It may be a symptom of other problems, but SEX is the final straw that broke the relationship's back, so to speak. Of course there are inter-related issues that may combine with SEX but it's the last semblance of a connection there is.

Without that, there's nothing else there.


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