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 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 3
New study on fertility...30 years oldPage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Honestly? No.

I mean... not really. Sometimes it crosses my mind - I am 32 and single... but... what am I going to do about it? Settle down with someone that I don't like and run to have kids just to end up divorced and single again?? That's stupid. I don't want kids unless it's done in the 'right' way... with a husband... and a house... and the means and resources to care for them properly in a happy and loving home. If that doesn't happen? Whatever. I'll travel the world.

Hmm... I think I hear Africa beckoning...
 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 5
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/25/2010 2:36:31 PM

So you don't think about one of your greatest life prospects S&H?

Well... I do... I like kids and I want kids - but again - what am I going to do about it? If you aren't going to do anything about it, how much time are you going to devote to thinking about it?

I have not met 'the one'. So, the options are:

1) Pick someone who is not 'the one' to have children with. You will likely end divorced (if you even marry) or miserable and a single parent. This will also likely reduce your chances of finding 'the one' because you will be busy with the kids. Ummm... no thanks.
2) Adopt or Artificially inseminate. Again - we're talking about being a single parent. No thanks.

I should clarify that yes - sometimes single parentness happens and you can't control the outcome of things... but you can certainly try to place a 'smart' bet!

Orrrr... I could just get all desperate and run around desperately trying to find the 'one'. Really? Is that what I'd be reduced to? Is there no more to life than procreation? Am I less of a person if I don't procreate? THAT'S a depressing thought. Nope... again, I'll just travel the world.

IF I meet the right guy - yeah - I'd be all over that kids thing like white on rice. But no use making rash or unwise decisions. Like I said... I'd like to think I'm worth more and have more to offer the world than just my womb....
 Arejaydee
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 7
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/25/2010 5:35:57 PM
I'm unaware of this "new study", but whatever it is it will have no impact upon a "woman's behavior". Stupid women will continue to be stupid and smart women will continue to be smart.
I agree with Soft&Happy. Taking time to establish a happy lasting marriage is more important than settling for a miserable partner at a young age just to have kids.
 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 8
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/25/2010 6:37:12 PM

In your case, it's clearly all or nothing.

Kids are an all or nothing thing. Either you have them or you don't. You can't have them sometimes and get rid of them when they are not convenient... unless, of course, you want to be a BAD parent...
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 9
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/26/2010 1:10:06 AM
do a search in your area for 22 year olds with kids.... go, I will wait.
Now think about it. by the time they turn 35, they dont have to think about kids, cuz they have already had a one or an octoplex set.
 StatlerandWaldorf
Joined: 6/1/2009
Msg: 11
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/26/2010 10:59:50 AM
"Any thoughts as to what the impact of this study might have on young womens' behavior in general?"

Probably none. It's not news. Even without any science background it's pretty intuitive that the older a woman is, the less fertile she will be.

I decided a long time ago that I didn't want kids, and so after that I didn't think about 'these things' at all. Until more recently, when I started noticing that there are a lot of women I know in a position similar to Soft and Happy's - early 30s, single, would like children but not as a single parent and not in an unproven relationship either. It makes me think about what I would do if I did want children - would I have been less lackadaisical about dating and pursuing relationships?


"I always thought that most behaviors, when involved with men in any way, still revolved around the tick tock. "

I'm not sure exactly what this sentence means, but think I find it somewhat insulting. Women aren't stupid (well, some of them are), and we're not mindless automatons whose every action is directed by biological urges. (At least any more than men are.) Lots of women want children but that doesn`t mean it`s the only important thing to them. Depends on priorities.

I just read an article in the paper about how several groups are lobbying the Canadian government to pay for fertility treatments for women up to 42 years of age. I have mixed feelings about that. A big part of their argument is that having a family is a basic human right.¸I feel like the government`s money might be better spent on providing affordable daycare for women/families, who might then feel better able to choose to have children at a younger age.
 mixy3106
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 12
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/26/2010 4:11:11 PM
Since I don't want kids, I don't think this study will have much of an impact on my behavior.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 14
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/27/2010 5:28:21 AM
Women get pregnant in their 30s & 40 in their hundreds of thousands & thousands before...& after.... this study

~sc~
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 15
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/27/2010 7:04:07 AM

I am not sure which study you are refering to in particular...

The research news release hit a couple of weeks ago.

Here's a recent story on it: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/22/AR2010022203639.html
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 17
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/27/2010 2:54:05 PM
Gotta love it when someone posts a thread and then wants to dissect the posts in order to find some problem with someone that is navigating a wholly logical choice for her own life.
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 18
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 2/27/2010 7:32:51 PM
Do men think about these things(sperm viability, age=defects, etc.)? Is it a constant running thought in everyone's mind? Do people think about breathing 24/7? Really?

So now women that are smart enough to know what they want, prevent falling into the stereotype of "unwed single parent" and plan for things in their lives are now procrastinators or never going to have kids? Dang! Women are damned if they do and damned if they don't start popping out babies and proving their worth with their wombs. And plenty wait to have kids until their 30's so that they have a few things in place before having kids. Things like education, steady employment(or as close as possible in this economy), a steady home environment, and hopefully a good LTR before having a child. That may take until their 30's. But at least they aren't struggling or relying in the system to help them out when they have kids they can't support on their own.

Besides with modern technology and the options out there, birthing is not the only option to have kids when a person is ready.

I agree with SoftandHappy, instead of wasting energy on thinking about something that isn't on the immediate horizon, why not just enjoy what you have and see what happens? There's more to life than breeding, since I had believe people had more value than just bredding stock alone. Maybe Solient Green will be on the market soon if all a person has to offer is the breeding ability.

Not all women are ruled by their biology. Most of them can think beyond the hormones and make decisions. I thought most men could do that(at least once in a while..). IMO Blaming the bio clock is just a cloak for desperation, for men and women.

"So you don't think about one of your greatest life prospects S&H?"

Why does reproduction have to be one of a woman's greatest prospects? Heaven forbid she aspire to something than being a baby incubator, huh? Being a parent isn't the only prospect, it's just one of many of the greatest prospects a person has available.
 RN_4ever
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 19
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:36:10 AM
Men & women are in this together... Men need to become more aware of their biological clock too... More and more studies are showing that the age of the father has an impact on the health of the baby... In fact, many believe the rise in autism is because the dads are too old... "offspring of older men have increased chances of a wide range of problems from autism to psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia. "

http://www.newsweek.com/id/194871

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/27/health/27sper.html?_r=1
 mibra
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 21
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/2/2010 10:21:38 PM
I don't really care about this... If I am ready for a child or more, I will go to do it on my own. It is much easier to get pregnant than to get married a right person. I will try to find a Mr.Right but I won't have a problem to be a happy single mum.
 mibra
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 22
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/2/2010 11:10:54 PM

It is very hard to find a woman with NO kids(who are capable) after 35 who is attractive. I would love to know the percentage. I would say less than 5%

Well that's a harsh comment. Sometimes things happened.... This is life. They all try to do their best; I believe so.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 23
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/2/2010 11:12:31 PM
Ya know OP, at 32 and undecided you might want to read this article about the increased risks to babies born to fathers over 35.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200708/mans-shelf-life
 mibra
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 24
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/2/2010 11:46:46 PM

Ya know OP, at 32 and undecided you might want to read this article about the increased risks to babies born to fathers over 35.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200708/mans-shelf-life


Thanks for the link... However, higher risks should not be the excuse to rush everything in life, e.g. getting pregnant or married.
It's a great pity that a lady doesn't feel ready/secure enough to get married and have a baby by 35; but it is still a personal decision based on the actual situation she's confronting. Some people get pregnant by 18 and some still have nothing after 40... This is life.
We all make mistakes and have to deal with our own issues. I am still willing to say: "You are still very attractive. It's not too late to start it again. Let's think only the best and work only for the best. " instead of saying "It is very hard to find a woman with NO kids(who are capable) after 35 who is attractive....Hmm... I guess 5%." As a woman, I do really feel that comment is very harsh.
I know you may speak the truth but it could be much better to say something soft to ladies ... ^_^
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 25
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/3/2010 12:58:23 AM
I just threw that out there since some men don't think they have a 'past due' date. Some think that because of the belief that only a woman's age contributed to birth defects and infertility that they have all the time in the world. Every now and again you'll find a thread by some guy in his mid 50's or even much older thinking of starting a family.

Now Mibra, about the guy that was rude about the percentage of women after 35 being attractive, ignore him. Did you actually look at his picture?
 RN_4ever
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 27
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:30:00 AM
Thanks to thebugisback for supporting my point about older FATHERS.... I posted this a few days back...

Men & women are in this together... Men need to become more aware of their biological clock too... More and more studies are showing that the age of the father has an impact on the health of the baby... In fact, many believe the rise in autism is because the dads are too old... "offspring of older men have increased chances of a wide range of problems from autism to psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia. "

http://www.newsweek.com/id/194871

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/27/health/27sper.html?_r=1

So all you 40+ guys that only want to date women under 35, you better hope they are not educated on the risks of procreating with a guy your age...
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 28
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/3/2010 8:48:11 AM
I just turned 30 and i can hear the tick-tock.

I had a child at 19, and another at 25, lost my husband, and i want another baby, or 2 or 3. I dont want to be having kids in my 40's, and have heard the studies of fertility decline at age 30. I considered fostering/adoption, but i really have the urge to bea one of my own. I have the love to offer a child, as well as a good home and financial stability to offer the child.I want a sperm donation. Hopefully my boyfriend will give me the go-ahead to stop using birth control, otherwise i will have to buy mail order jizz.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 29
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/3/2010 10:47:22 AM
Thanks RN. I rather appreciate what cain/able wrote. I've put my favorite part in bold.



You seem to be pointing the finger at women in your post, however, ignoring the fact that just as there is a biologically optimal age for pregnancy there are other optimal factors as well; like having a nurturing and supportive spouse. Yeah, sure women can be single parents and they can have in vitro fertilization, but 99% of women don't want to. Most importantly, during the years a women is most capable of conceiving, men are not interested in getting married and certainly don't want to be tied down with children.

Blaming women is simply forgetting that men in the age range of a woman's optimal fertility are one of the biggest reasons women choose not to get pregnant.
 mibra
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 30
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/3/2010 12:35:15 PM

I just turned 30 and i can hear the tick-tock.

I had a child at 19, and another at 25, lost my husband, and i want another baby, or 2 or 3. I dont want to be having kids in my 40's, and have heard the studies of fertility decline at age 30. I considered fostering/adoption, but i really have the urge to bea one of my own. I have the love to offer a child, as well as a good home and financial stability to offer the child.I want a sperm donation. Hopefully my boyfriend will give me the go-ahead to stop using birth control, otherwise i will have to buy mail order jizz

I had a baby when I was 29. The feeling was good but the relationship didn't work out. Now I can not see my son because the father trying to make the boy forget me and accept his new one. Sometimes I think if I didn't marry him when I was pregnant, this might not happen with so much pain. ... lol

However, this is the life. I still want to have babies in the future though I am heading to 35 soon. If that has to happen in 40s, it will be fine... Don't worry. It won't be too bad. Just let things happen naturally. Some ladies had their babies even in 50s and 60s.

The most important things is to keep yourself happy, fit and healthy --- It will be much better and easier in the future if you maintain yourself well. Some girls in 20s had problems in getting pregnant or sth else--- I believe most cases were caused by the stress, unhealthy life styles and/or the unhappiness of relationship.
 mibra
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 31
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/3/2010 12:37:24 PM
Thank you the bugisback, RN and other guys here. It is very sweet that men are thinking of it seriously. A good life style with positive attitude always brings happy and healthy babies hahaha ...
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 33
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/7/2010 10:38:40 AM
But, but... "Old men chasing young women: A good thing" - http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/old-men-chasing-young-women-good-thing-14203.html

-Just had to interject at least one "pro" to go with all the "cons" of dubious quality being tossed out here.


...new research has revealed that aging sperm also carries higher risks of deformities just as eggs do.

Uhm, all sperm is the same age, since it was made, like, yesterday.
Not so with eggs, which are there at birth.

The recent efforts in some quarters to try and saddle men with some biological clock equivalent to womens is an epic fail. Older men have been having children for millennia, so if there was some huge problem it would have become apparent long before now.
 sharklover35
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 35
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New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/7/2010 9:36:31 PM
I really hope that the data isn't reliable.

I have had family that had their entire families after age 30. I wouldn't be here if my mom, grandmom, and great grandmom failed to have kids after age 30.
 RN_4ever
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 36
New study on fertility...30 years old
Posted: 3/8/2010 8:31:13 AM
Colonel...It's so funny how upset men get when you suggest that they aren't optimal for baby making after 40. Women have dealt with this forever. I work at a fertility clinic and I can tell you most won't accept sperm donors over the age of 34.

The article you site is from 2007, the science blog? It's about perpetuating the species in underdeveloped countries.. not sure how that relates...

You are right, men do produce sperm throughout their lives but after each ejaculation, they must literally replicate those cells, and each replication multiplies the chance for a DNA "copy error"— It like making a copy of a copy each time on a xerox machine.. Over time the quality drops.

Fact: The risk of schizophrenia doubles in children of fathers in their late 40s compared with children of fathers under age 25. Men 40 and older are nearly six times more likely to have offspring with autism than men younger than 30.

Like I said.... we are in this together... Men and Women over 40 need to be aware. The good news is that both CAN have healthy kids...
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