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 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 1
Accepting every date offered.Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I read on another post that women should accept every date offer she gets. I thought that was a little mad. What do you think? As long as there is no safety issue should a woman accept any and every offer she gets?
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 2
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Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 7:41:19 PM
Many years ago, I recall reading a "Dear Abby" letter from a woman who said she decided as a teenager to go out with every seemingly safe guy who asked her out, and she had quite a few enjoyable dates with guys she otherwise never would have considered dating. I actually clipped that out of the paper and kept it with me for a long time as inspiration, because it was my dream to meet someone like her as I somehow made it all the way into my early 20s before landing my first date. Yet strangely enough, I can't remember why she said she decided to do that.

To someone like me back then, her decision sounded really good in theory but now I think that was somewhat insane. I still think most women are too picky, but I can't understand how anyone would not be more selective than simply "safe" and any dates without mutual physical attraction seem doomed to me now. I also pretty explicitly recall when a woman finally did go out with me largely because she felt sorry for me, and what a disaster that was. If you're being somewhat Seinfeldian and trying to find every little reason to eliminate everybody that asks you out ("one of his eyes is slightly higher than the other!!! I can't date a guy like that!"), then, you know, you got some issues, too -- but I have to say, I've met FAR more people like that than ones that weren't selective enough. I think I would alter that philosophy to say: Go out with every seemingly safe guy who asks you out if you've got at least SOME physical attraction and you can't find anything SERIOUSLY wrong with him. People often get trapped in ideals and "Mr. Right" and past experiences and all that kind of stuff and start talking about not accepting anything less than perfection, which is highly unlikely to be found by anyone. You really going to reject an otherwise great guy just because he doesn't have a college degree (Bill Gates doesn't have a college degree!) or because he can't dance or because he's missing a finger or because his great-grandfather led a lynch mob? I mean, you need to step away from that "perfect man list" for a second.

As an aside, I'm sure most women on POF get asked out quite frequently, maybe multiple times a day. If the OP was referring to POF directly, then, God no, don't go out with every POF guy that asks -- hell, I don't even think it's possible in most cases or that there's enough time in the day for that. POF is a weeding tool. Although, as I can attest from 3 years on POF and no meetings, perhaps it's a little too good at its job.
 mynameis_
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 3
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:01:04 PM
Lady with Blonde Hair and glasses, your burnt. You act like dating is as safe as knitting. I dont know why you are jumping all over the other guy he was jsut tryini to answer a question. Iburns, you seem a little tensed up there but I understand what you mean.

And wtf Pubs are safe? Oh gee place where you can easily slip something in girls drink and make her forget the whole night. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SAFE.

Now miss Beebee, I wouldnt take a offer for just any date, with just anyone. If there was a connection then sure, but other then that, message, read delete. Done.

Oh and crazy womanwith glasses....did you even read this guys posts? Doesnt sound to me he is in any state to be looking to have sex with anyone.. Just read his post form Broken hears or something along those lines.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 4
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:17:16 PM
No it was a woman. I know but it was. And when I questioned that the others on the forum said it was excellent advice. As long as he isnt a rapist go have coffee with him. And NO it wasnt suggest you slep with every man you go out with. It just said never turn down a first date.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 5
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:19:03 PM
Me too Heavens' AND I just want to say I am so digging the Afro. Wish I could pull that off. Green with envy.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 6
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:21:10 PM
Many, many, many years ago my mother told me that girls should accept all dates or they will appear stuck up then the other boys wouldn't ask her out. That kind of thinking went out before many of you were even born - thank goodness.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 7
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:21:43 PM
2dum
I know better. Even if I wasnt on line. I was just raked over the coals when I suggested it was a crazy idea. And only a fool would accept a date from any tom harry or****that asked her. And I though how fast would you burn out on dating at all if you try some dumb poo like that.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 8
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:25:52 PM
Thebugisback She was talking about how we make snap judgements and that if we went out with the guy we may find ??????? Roofies in your drink. I thought it crazy advice. The women on the forum acted as if I said god wasnt real in the middle of a church.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 9
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:28:27 PM
I don't think you should meet anyone unless you actually like them and really want to meet them otherwise what is the point? Meet in busy locations and it will be fine. Don't give into irrational fears otherwise we all may as well start putting electrified bars over our doors and windows.

Amen Ray of Ray. I would hate it if the guy wasnt really interest just killing time.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 10
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 2/28/2010 8:30:53 PM
Potential date : Say, you're not a psycho or a pervert, are you?
Me : Actually, yes. You should consider me one until you become convinced otherwise.
Potential date: ???
Me: Guilty until proven innocent, ma'am. Now then, how 'bout them dodgers?

The first time someone has made me laugh on this site. THANK YOU.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 11
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:49:35 AM
Absolutely not! Only go on dates with people you feel comfortable. You have to look out for what you want and you're not doing anyone any favors by getting their hopes up. Besides, you would be inundated with too many dates to make a serious decision.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 12
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:50:07 AM
Shoedaddy

Real men do ask me out. I dont just get offers from guys on line. I get real live breathing men who ask me out. I know it is crazy in this day and age that people meet in real life. But they still do. And I get first emails that ask me out. Without any exchange. Just a offer to meet for coffee.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 13
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:52:59 AM
Years ago there was a book out about how to get married in 30 days or something stoopid like that. The author said to date every man that asked you out. She also said to actively pursue ever man you met, whether they were your type or not. She went on to say to treat dating like you would looking for a job. She said you just never know the one man that you didn't find physically attractive just may be the one that wants to get married. And now the same concept has resurfaced. Ludicrious!
Why on earth would we even want to waste someones time if we know from the very beginning we are not attracted to them? Oh, I know because some are so desperate to get married they will do anything to get that ring on their finger & have that house with the picket fence.
The whole concept is laughable.

Blond do you know the name of that book. I bet you anything that is exactly the book the 'expert' on this site is using to be the 'expert'. Hell finding a man to marry is easy. Finding the right man now that is the hard part.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 14
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 9:13:59 AM

treat dating like you would looking for a job.

You mean by sitting home and waiting for that boyfriend to arrive in the mail? Hmmm... now that you mention it, online dating IS like looking for a job.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 15
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 6:10:57 PM
SASSY I was wondering that myself. I thought it would be rude to ask her. But you are right who the hell has time to go out with every guy who asks. Who wants to sit and listen to every guy who has the guts to ask you out for a dinner?
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 16
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 6:46:40 PM
In the skim of things I see the whole idea of dating every guy who ask me out is in a number of ways stupid. I couldn't think of any other word but asinine. Both words seem a little harsh but the truth hurts. I would think after about a month of dating frogs ( the term the other forum uses not mine) you would be totally burnt out on dating. And when the right guy does ask you out you wouldn't want him within a country mile of you. I doubt the 'expert' really sat down and thought this out. She read it somewhere thought it was a good idea and put pen to paper.

I will continue to say no to the guys I am not interested in. Dating isnt a past time it has it's purpose. It is meant for you to have an opportunity to get to know someone who has pricked your interest. The reason a guy ask any woman out is because he has an interest and an attraction to her. It would silly to go out when you don't feel the same way. I don't know about yall but I cant be talked into feeling all warm and fuzzy about a guy. Either you are interested OR you are not. It is that simple and yes it is a snap judgement.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 17
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 7:06:56 PM

I read on another post that women should accept every date offer she gets. I thought that was a little mad. What do you think? As long as there is no safety issue should a woman accept any and every offer she gets?

Yeah, I think that's the dumbest advice one could give, even if you eliminate the obvious complete wackos. From a 5th grader's point of view, "just have coffee with him" sounds just fine -- you're giving someone a chance, and well, who knows, right?

People take a meet-up = "I find you attractive". In fact, even if you mention one little blurb to be "friends" when meeting -- that does not cut it at all. Leading someone on is done usually by those who are trying "to be nice". Wake up people. :)

Now, if you're someone who's "too picky" from a personality perspective, or in other words when dealing with profiles & emails, have a hair-trigger to call something a red-flag (because you're probably shy to meet and you're obsessed with calling things out), then I would say meet up with someone who seems physically attractive to you, and by general standards, comparatively speaking against other profiles, seems okay -- even if you're ehh. Just make a coffee date out of that, with no drumming things up w/ expectations, where you consider but opt out otherwise (and let him know you've got issues about guys and what rubs you the wrong way).
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 18
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History
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/1/2010 10:24:21 PM
Probably written by a woman who doesnt get asked out much. Thats just as crazy as having to accept every loser who wants to hit on you or asks you to dance when your out. Just as crazy as those on here who reply to every email because its polite. These women apparently have never had the whackos who freak on you because you're not interested.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 19
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Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/2/2010 11:16:36 PM
If you know from the get go that nothing is going to make you attracted to a person, then no.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 20
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/4/2010 2:29:41 PM
Years and years ago, back before WWII, it was expected that women would go on lots of "dates" with a lot of different men before they settled into "going steady" with any one man.

With the changes in society it would be impossible to use the rules of another generation as the guide lines for us today. I dont think the expert is being realistic.
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 21
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Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/4/2010 3:02:24 PM
This is the problem with making a thread with what someone else said....like a third party thread.... because I'd like to ask the person who originally said this why they feel this way? It's possible it was meant in a context that we obviously don't know, and the OP conveniently has no responsibility to be asked for more information.

Anyway, common sense for me says absolutely not.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 22
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Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/4/2010 7:08:24 PM
I can understand it to a point. Like if a women gets an email from a guy saying hey...you got nice tits...let's hook up. Vs. If a guy sends you a nice email and you chat back and fourth and exchange numbers and then he asks let's meet.

If there is no phone number exchanged...then there is no point of meeting. Also it is very important to get a current photo like a mobile photo...preferably with them holding up the current days newspaper next to his face
 ajfedz
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 23
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/5/2010 4:35:34 PM

SASSY I was wondering that myself. I thought it would be rude to ask her. But you are right who the hell has time to go out with every guy who asks. Who wants to sit and listen to every guy who has the guts to ask you out for a dinner?


beebeebaby, I think that what this person means by taking every date offered, is not to be taken literally. I interpret "every" to mean "most reasonable offers".
Also, if you date guy (1) he may be the guy you have been looking for, and if so, you would no longer be on the market to date other men, so -- "Who wants to sit and listen to every guy who has the guts to ask you out for a dinner" is thinking negitively and would be a moot point.

I think the advice you've seen elsewhere, was making the point, that if you don't actually meet the person, you may be missing out on a good prospect. As much as we like to judge a potential partner by a pic and their about me, is that enough info about a person to make a good judgment call? I think not!

I have had many women not respond to my emails and (1) year later, they are still on POF... Sad!!!
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 24
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/5/2010 9:41:42 PM
Is it possible that this was being said ‘encouragingly’ to someone who was struggling to find a partner...sometimes people can be flippant with their advice?!

Email me and I will gladly send you the link.
 ajfedz
Joined: 12/25/2008
Msg: 25
Accepting every date offered.
Posted: 3/6/2010 3:45:47 PM

Yes ... they are called meal whores.


na! I believe women utilizing online personals should give more consideration with each offer. I don't believe a women can accurately distinguish their - type by a photo and an about me - if so, women are ridiculous!
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