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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 8
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Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So OP......You did a form of cyber sex with this man because you were horny and turned on at that moment, and I suspect he was too.

The fact that you two have known each other for some time and keep it on the computer, and not in real life, means that the sexual, sensual talk IS your dating right now, and until you get off the computer, it will stay that way.

What you have is a cyber buddy, and if you want a real man for real dates, it is more than time to meet and find out. If you do not want to be a FWB in real life, then say so, but for now, what you two have become is a cyber relationship.

cd.........
 Water75
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 9
Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 3/1/2010 12:21:32 PM
you crossed the wrong boundry.its like a women who goes around with her boobs out and a mini mini squirt and gets offended when a man says sexual things to her.getting it turned around i dont know.most men would think your a freak in bed if you talked about that.but also he cant stop talking about it because he just wants to sleep with you.so doing the wrong thing has exsposed him.you will never have him long term now.i would say to him no more sex talk.he will say you started it and your a tease.tell him that your sorry for doing that but you are not like that and do not want to talk about it again.my guess is the conversations will get shoerter and i will be right regreatable.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 11
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Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 3/1/2010 2:49:57 PM

I guess I'm just paranoid now that we've had a sexual conversation that maybe his views have changed with me...
Huh? My advice: quit over thinking it, and grow up. If I've known you for several months, or years in this case, and the subject of sex hasn't come up, then you can be absolutely positive, that I have no interest in you at all.

Secondly, if his views have, in any way, been compromised because of a conversation then he's obscenely stupid and bigoted, and you need to run as far and fast as you can.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 14
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Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 8/24/2010 11:28:19 PM
I'm about ready to start bringing it right from the start. I'm starting to think why bother getting to know someone that turns out not to be the kind of lover I'm looking for? Fvck first and if it's good enough, then maybe friends later. I can get good conversation just about any day of the week but a good lover is hard to find, a good azz-fvcker even harder.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 22
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Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 8/29/2010 9:39:05 AM


I'm about ready to start bringing it right from the start. I'm starting to think why bother getting to know someone that turns out not to be the kind of lover I'm looking for? Fvck first and if it's good enough, then maybe friends later. I can get good conversation just about any day of the week but a good lover is hard to find, a good azz-fvcker even harder.



LMAO!! I admire your cheek(s)!! Soo, in that initial convo, probably before surnames are disclosed, your plan is to probe his azz-fvcking expertise and experience, and the quality of same? You're gonna drop his jaw before he sets eyes on you, I suspect. Don't read me wrong- anal sex is uber erotic, but as a first order of business? Lol. Go for it, babe.
OP, yeah, you're paranoid, and you're trying to "keep your skirt down" with all the history between you strikes me as a teenager's approach. If sex, the act, not the subject, ruins what you have going, well, I grieve for you.


Yeah, who needs surnames? I don't need to be wasting memory on irrelevant details. Seriously. Sure might save some time and who knows, I might get points for it. I haven't said I've done it but I'm thinking about it.

I just found out recently there's a guy who has a crush on me. What were my very first words to him? "A___ told me you were the craziest mo____fu____ in the camp and I should talk to you." I was looking for a wrench to fix a broken chair and it was suggested he might have one. It certainly got his attention. I just learned recently, two months later, that he's smitten with me and hoping I'll show up at another camp in a few weeks. BTW, the rest of our conversation was polite, literate, and did not contain words that I can't print here. And he didn't have the wrench I was looking for.

OP, don't worry so much. Relax. When you get to my age, you don't give a sh*t what they think cuz the guy you're looking for digs who you are for who you are. Your real self is going to come out sooner or later. That's not an excuse for being a jerk, but if talk about whatever is going to send him screaming in the other direction, it would have happened sooner or later anyway. Might as well be sooner. If he's leading the conversation in a direction you don't care for, you can lead the conversation away from it or just tell him flat out.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 27
Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 9/4/2010 7:37:54 PM
There are a lot of immature guys out there who cannot discuss sexual issues with a woman without getting the wrong idea. I think it's important when you meet someone you would like to consider a future with and the feeling is mutual, to be able to discuss sex openly and honestly even if you haven't been physical with that person.
If a guy starts treating you disrespectfully or pushing the issue of doing the deed, then you will know he has made assumptions about you. That say more about HIM than it does about you & you may very likely have found a misogynist who embraces the double standard. I never have understood why any woman has to prove herself to a potential mate by pretending to be Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.
 SmellyOne
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 28
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Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 9/6/2010 7:33:53 AM
Talking about your sexual likes and dislikes is important, especially early on. If he or you are not willing to do some of the things that you deem "necessary," the relationship is doomed to fail or, at the very least, one of you will come to POF (or something similar) to forever complain about things you lack in the bedroom.

Sex w/o the "relationship" is FwB scenario, which you're trying to avoid.
Relationship w/o sex is called friendship.
Relationship with unfulfilling sex is called doomed.
 ImCareBear
Joined: 6/3/2016
Msg: 29
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Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 1/19/2017 7:10:51 AM
hi Jess
I hope I am commenting the right way.. This is my very first time here and I don't want to mess anything up so if I do please just instruct me on the correct buttons to click and I will tuck my tail and head in the right direction... But anyway..

I am going through the exact same thing... Known this guy for 2 months.. and YES the subject HAS come up.. in fact quite extensively with us.. We have NOT met yet... and I do like him A LOT!! but Come ON! there ARE other parts to life than JUST sex... I mean if you want your food , house clean, kids taken care of, your lady to LOOK nice, laundry done and everything else taken care of then Ya gotta be able to stop the sex talk temporarily... And I don't care if they ARE GUYS... THEY need to "GROW UP" we can not stay in the gutter 24/7... and don't turn a legit conversation like doing the dishes... going out to EAT... Where should I meet you.... into SEX talk.. I can not say anythign about ANYTHING and the guy turns it into Sex... It's annoying.. and then ya feel AWFUL having to say... ""aw come on hun can we talk about the subject I brought up?" because then they get tickeded off and hurt. It is making me have second thoughts on a long term relationship with this guy... And it leaves the lady feeling inadequate to the point she feels OBLIGATED to talk sexy even when she's not feeling it... So if women have to get on the STICK and try to talk about it more FOR HIM.. then HE should have to try to tame it down a little for HER...
I hope it gets better for you Jess... I will try to let you know hhow my situation turns out..... He's SUCH a great guy.... why can't they see how they are potentionally sending the whole ting down the drain.. sigh*
And again.. sorry if I put this in the wrong area... please let me know if I did... and I will delete..
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 30
Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 1/19/2017 7:49:36 AM
^^^

Jess is gonzo
 ImCareBear
Joined: 6/3/2016
Msg: 31
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Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 1/19/2017 8:12:38 AM
Thank you Chuck..... I hope she found her answer.... <3
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 32
Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 1/19/2017 2:41:13 PM
ImCareBear, LOL It's OK We welcome newbies, you are not the first to leave a response on an old thread, where the OP is long gone.

So now here is my question for you.
You wrote,

We have NOT met yet... and I do like him A LOT!! but Come ON! there ARE other parts to life than JUST sex...

He's SUCH a great guy...


Nothing is real until you meet in person, and........no, just no, he is NOT a great guy. Not by a long shot.
A "Great guy" would NOT,

I can not say anythign about ANYTHING and the guy turns it into Sex..


For me, this guy would be toast already.
You can do better than this.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 33
Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 1/19/2017 5:24:39 PM
ICB, its probably easier for the computer servers if people do what you did, and recycle old posts. Plus it allows us old timers to remember people who used to be here and left, hopefully to get married :) And as you pointed out, old questions may still be valid, b/c human nature doesn't change much.

Its also human nature to have hope that a new stranger is going to be great. But, unfortunately, its better to wait until the evidence is in. And yes, if a partner focuses on one subject, that's a bit one-dimensional.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 34
Sexual conversation ruining long term potential?
Posted: 1/26/2017 9:33:17 AM
Yup, women prefer gentlemen.
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