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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're wit      Home login  
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 TheyCallMeAngie
Joined: 2/17/2010
Msg: 1
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
A few days ago my boyfriend and I got on the topic of his fantasies and what he thinks about while self-serving. And to my genuine surprise none of it involved me

Now I should have seen this coming as the most beautiful people in the world are at our disposal 24/7 thanks to the internet. But is there anyone out there who still fantasizes about their significant other?

I'm not upset, I certainly can't control what turns him on! But it makes me wonder if surprising him with lingerie or what have you might be in vain. Has the big bad internet ruined this for us average women?

Angie
 MysticalM
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 2
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 3:44:34 PM
It is perfectly normal to fantasize about what we can't or don't have... it does not mean we don't desire the one we're with. Do not throw out surprising your boyfriend... keep it fun... keep it interesting... keep it erotic by doing just that. Maybe... just maybe one of his future fantasies will include you.

Kudos to your boyfriend for his honesty with you... and kudos to you for not getting all insecure about it.

 le_petomane
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 3
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 3:46:48 PM

But is there anyone out there who still fantasizes about their significant other?

What do you mean still? Do you have proof that was ever true?
Do you have any proof you weren't told they fantasized about their significant other because they feel they were "supposed" to say it?

Did you ask your boyfriend if any of his masturbatory fantasies involved you at any time?
Or did he take it for granted that you would assume that some did...but he thought you were more interested in those involving others and other activities?
IOW if you asked what he did last night would he talk about the time he spent with you, or when he wasn't with you?


But it makes me wonder if surprising him with lingerie or what have you might be in vain.

If you are surprising him with lingerie just so he can, as you say, self-serve, then it might be in vain. He already has fantasies for that.

If you surprise him with lingerie...it's reality...not a fantasy...isn't it?


Has the big bad internet ruined this for us average women?

You poor victim.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 4
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 3:51:28 PM

Has the big bad internet ruined this for us average women?



Nah. Before the internet, or even porn, guys were fantasizing about your sister, your best friend, the girl at the checkout counter, a long lost girlfriend, sheep (O_o), etc... (Women do it, too.) In the end, it depends on the person. Some do fantasize about the one they are with... Being with someone else while they watch.

We're all different... And we're all the same.
 TheyCallMeAngie
Joined: 2/17/2010
Msg: 5
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 3:53:37 PM
Hmm your right, maybe I should change the wording. Simple mistake. As for the rest... Ouch

And I won't discard the idea of keeping our sex life fresh and fun just cause he watches porn, your right girl!

Thanks!

Angie
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 6
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:01:21 PM
I have had fantasies about a lot of women, from celebs to my next door neighbors. But there have been two women that I was with for quite a while that I use to have fantasies about when we were apart for an evening, or longer. The first one was all the time...damn we were good together...she was all I could think about...even when she was next to me, I still fantasized about her!
 brother_ant
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 7
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:05:53 PM
lol @ just cause he watches porn.
 maximusminimus
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 8
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:07:37 PM
It's a fantasy because it's not real. When it's real, that is no fantasizing, it is paying attention to what happens.

Have you ever stood waiting on a bus stop in the rain, daydreaming of standing at a bus stop in the rain? No, you have not.

OK, so let me try real hard this time.....he is making love with you, and he squeezes his eyes shut and he....fantasizes that he is making love with you...??



^I would be lost here in this thread without that icon.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 9
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:15:40 PM
Whenever I cheat on my boyfriend, he should take solace that I am fantasizing about HIM when I'm with them.*










*this is just a fantasy of mine
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 10
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Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:25:53 PM
Angie, you should take it as a compliment that your man spanks to you!!!

To answer your question: YES!!! Even after I was with my Vietnamese honey, I couldn't get her out of my head and heart for days...remembering the way she looked, the way she felt, the way she smelt...she was intoxicating!
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 11
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:44:12 PM
I admit it, my GF spoiled me so bad that it killed porn for me... That being said, thanks to her, and the long distance relationship... oh HELL yes! I fantasize the hell out of her.... And I reenact those fantasies when we get to see each other. And she tends to throw in a few of her own, just for good measure.

Just because you can't have quanity, does not mean quality suffers one bit! It's terrible when it's the night before we see each other. I'm an absolute wreck. Then when I see her, it's like the rest of it doesn't matter. A whole year and I'm still like this. As is she.

Now I guess the only way to screw this up for both of us, is to live together...
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 12
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 5:10:06 PM
Well Angie~, ya gotta think...fantasies are a lot better than other relationships.

Seriously, though, I've rarely fantasized about a girl when I was with her...a couple times maybe, and I know what they were. I've fantasized about a girl I've been with while I was still with her...but honestly, that's kinda stupid. Fantasies are rarely based on past performance...they cover new, uncharted territory.

You reach a point with you SO where the effort to construct new fantasies about your ex takes some effort...it's so much easier to rip one off thinking about the blonde with the great ass walking in front of you. It's easier because, by default, she's already exactly what his mind wants....he just needs to put the thoughts behind it. It's a lot easier than him playing "Home Intruder" and you're pissed off cause the Rambler blew a rod today.

 Cape Sunshine
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 13
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 5:19:01 PM
No.. that's why they are fantasies.. To think about someone else for a moment a two. It is very healthy thing to do..

Just as long as you don't bring the person you're fantasizing about in the bedroom with you.. Then no harm done. Right?
 A-Womans-Best-Friend
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 14
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 5:38:53 PM
If he has to masturbate and has no sexy pictures of you he can look at while he is stroking it he will turn to the next best thing online porn, maybe if you make a video of your self stripping or film having sex together I beat he will cum to that if he has it available to watch.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 15
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Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:10:19 PM
I only have ever fantasized about the one I was with, not some celebrity or random guy in a magazine etc. Who does that? oh! men do!
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 16
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:21:25 PM
Before I got together with the person in question - yes. Unfortunately reality and fantasy are often very different things..............
 spriggig2
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 17
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:28:58 PM
I think it depends a lot on who holds the most power in the relationship. The one with less power is more likely to fantasize about their mate.

Be careful not to let the power balance get too far out of whack. If you feel needy, back off for awhile to draw him back toward you.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 18
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Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 6:45:41 PM
I rarely fantasize about a real person I'm not involved with, but I'd never say never. I do, on the other hand, conjure up imaginary partners for fantasies, providing all of their characteristics from scratch. That way there's no tainting of the fantasy with any less than perfect details real people have.

If I'm happily involved, any walk-around fantasies will involve her, with the sincere hope they'll be acted out soon. If I'm 'self-serving', as you put it, I'd say about two thirds involve her and two thirds my imaginary partners. In fantasies I get to include both sometimes!
 principles of magic
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 19
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 7:03:26 PM
To LG2727
Yeah, bad bad men.

If I had a dime for every celebrity or random guy I've fantasized about, why I'd have a good ten dollars or so.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 20
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Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 7:16:27 PM
^^^^^^^ wvwaterfall...... that's 4/3, or 1 1/3... My eyeballs are spinning and there is smoke coming out my ears... DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE.....
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 21
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Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 8:47:28 PM
I don't really think I fantasize while "self serving".
It's more of "reliving a past encounter".
It can either be with my current partner....or one from the past that left an impression!
I can honestly say I have never fantasized about a celebrity.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 22
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Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/3/2010 9:38:27 PM

wvwaterfall...... that's 4/3, or 1 1/3... My eyeballs are spinning and there is smoke coming out my ears... DOES NOT COMPUTE,


OK, lemme spell it out....

One third just her, one third just imaginary partner(s), one third her plus imaginary partner(s). In fantasies there are no personality clashes, perfect harmony....
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 23
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Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/4/2010 4:43:18 AM
GOOD GRACIOUS ME YESS!!! My BEST fantasies are ALWAYS about the woman I'm with. I'm actively fantasizing about her when I'm off by myself, AND while we are "going at it." I sometimes feel at odds with my brethren, because I NEVER fantasize about Angelina Jolie, or Anne Hathaway, or whomever.
As for the internet ruining things, naahh. You can bet that guys were fantasizing about the women in their grandfathers' cave paintings, it goes so far back. I think it's one of those human nature things that's best to laugh about, and not worry. There are VERY few people of either sex who are ACTUALLY trying to get with the person they fantasize about.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 24
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/4/2010 5:05:41 AM

GOOD GRACIOUS ME YESS!!! My BEST fantasies are ALWAYS about the woman I'm with.


I'm with igor..I have rarely had a fantasies about a star or anyone like that.
Maybe a a teen.

Though I did dream about Johnny Depp trying to sell me insurance once..That's pretty funny waking up going wth?????

What a crazy dream, and a waste lol
 Chasing~Cars
Joined: 1/4/2010
Msg: 25
Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?
Posted: 3/4/2010 5:54:52 AM
I do! There is nothing like the repeat performance of what was already nice! I have my own movie running in my head where I know who the stars are! Call me odd, but I have never been one to fantasize about women I have never nor will ever know.

"Johnny Depp sells insurance?" Was it door to door?
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Does ANYONE out there actually fantasize about the person they're with?