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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Best way to meet women...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 12
Best way to meet women...Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Join a club. Volunteer. Your older co workers have daughter, granddaughters and sister cousin etc. The only way to get over being shy is to say hello to everyone you meet. Hi how are you today. Just that simple. Do it to everyone. It will be like a second nature. So when you are interested in someone it will feel natural to walk and say HI. How are you doing to day?
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 17
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 3/6/2010 6:37:49 AM

So I pose the question, best way to meet women?


The best advice I ever heard was written by a friend of mine many years ago, though some of you may have had the pleasure of hearing it somewhere along the way:

"I used to have trouble meeting women so now what I do is go to the supermarket late at night and when I see a woman I like, I follow her out to her car. I come up behind her and say, 'I'M GONNA RAPE YOU!... just kidding. So what's your name?' "
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 19
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 3/6/2010 8:52:47 AM
Do girls your age go to school? The park? Stores? Coffee shops? Gas stations? The mall? The gym? The beach? Pools? Concerts? Of course they do, unless you live in a town that doesn't allow women to reside there.

It's never about where the girls are, it's more about where it's safe to APPROACH girls when you see them. The answer to that though you may not want to hear it is guys who are socially fluent will meet women anywhere they go, because they're good at it, and girls who like a guy when they see him won't care where they are when he approaches.

It takes practice to get good at talking to girls when you see them, so start talking to everyone everywhere you go and get some experience. And yes it's not easy - nothing worth having in life is....not sure where everyone got the idea everything should be easy.

And overall I'm pretty shy, so I'm really not the type to walk up to someone off the street / in the mall and start talking to them.

Become the type. Fix that. Shy people don't meet anyone, and on top of that they come off as uninterested, because women who think you're cute will never assume you're shy. They'll think they aren't your type.

You're welcome.
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 24
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 3/6/2010 11:15:18 AM
^^Ditto what Selena said. I thought the other poster was joking about those cheesy lines but in case anybody takes those seriously, definitely don't make comments like "I see that size doesn't matter" to a woman you don't know.

(Um, and I hope it doesn't need to be mentioned, but don't take my previous "advice" seriously either).
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 27
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 3/6/2010 9:05:34 PM
Try the meetup site. Join a group. Take a class. Once again volunteer.
 ASSMan316
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 41
view profile
History
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 3/11/2010 9:06:30 PM

I'm pretty shy...nor am I fond of crowds....I'm really not the type to walk up to someone off the street / in the mall and start talking to them.

Ohhhhhh...you're shyyyyy! That changes everything then.
How has that worked for you so far?
Being shy is a choice, not a disease. You aren't a victim to shyness, you choose to be shy so you don't have to face anything you are scared of, rejection, or any negative emotional reaction.
Do you "really" want to date?
Or are you simply lonely and want to sit back and have people chase you, fawn over you, and make you feel special...but you don't really want to do anything about it?


Ohh I so disagree with that statement... Shyness is a choice? pifft yeah your right, it's like choosing between pizza or hamburgers. If that were true then no one would be single, no one would lonely, no one would sad. but it's not that simple shyness is like hypnosis, one minute your completely normal, the next ur bawking like a chicken. that's how it is man, u wanna change u know it's ridiculous but u can't control it u can't change on a whim... it takes work patients and understanding. but that's thing though, if ur nervous and stuttering all the time, most people would sooner find someone else to dance with etc. and that in turn keeps the cycle going, cause every time we screw up or come off like a spazz...we think about it we think about alot... we think about it everyday of week. so believe when say that if overcoming shyness were as easy as choosing between your two favourite cereals, then he wouldn't've asked the question.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 42
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 3/11/2010 10:06:04 PM

Okay, well obviously many of you skipped the question itself. I wasn't asking should I not be shy or how to meet women, I'm asking where I could meet women my age.

Your question is also (see the title you made) -- the best way to meet women. If you stubbornly refuse to shed your social anxieties, you're not going to find a "place" that's suitable. The places to meet women, if you don't like crowds, you've already been to.... as you say, you live in a small town.

The best places to meet women are in places where there are numerous people. Period. If you're shy of crowds and shy in general, do you really expect to come up with great 'game' anyway?

While you're suffering from social anxiety, the best place to meet women is on a site like POF. Crowds of people, but not physically invdading your space. You can also try the library or bookstore, where the quietness will seem less invasive.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 43
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 3/18/2010 5:15:21 AM

but that's thing though, if ur nervous and stuttering all the time, most people would sooner find someone else to dance with etc. and that in turn keeps the cycle going, cause every time we screw up or come off like a spazz...we think about it we think about alot...

Don't. That's your problem. Get out of your head - that's the only way it's going to change.

we think about it everyday of week.

Overkill. The more you analyze stuff that should be natural, the more unnatural it's gonna get.

so believe when say that if overcoming shyness were as easy as choosing between your two favourite cereals, then he wouldn't've asked the question.

It may not be easy, but it's not impossible. There are many celebrities who overcame stutters, stage fright, shyness. It's possible to do - it's just a matter of wanting to do it. If you do, then you'll work at it for as long as it takes. If you don't - you'll just make good excuses for why it's hopeless to try.

Neither is right or wrong - but I agree with Confident-Realist (shocking, but for once I do). Expecting to have social anxiety and yet meet people is like being blind and taking speed reading classes. You can't do one unless you deal with the other. You are either too shy to talk to people and not into crowds and you meet almost no one or you're into crowds, not shy about meeting people and you do meet people. This includes dating, which is a social sport. If you're not social - it's odd to ask people for pointers on how to play a social game.

While you're suffering from social anxiety, the best place to meet women is on a site like POF. Crowds of people, but not physically invdading your space. You can also try the library or bookstore, where the quietness will seem less invasive.

Even this to some extent only prolongs the inevitable. No matter where you meet people sooner or later you have to leave the house and deal with them face to face if you plan on dating. There's no way to meet people without meeting them.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 57
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 3/22/2010 10:34:23 AM
^^^Minako mentioned that in post #25:

i find the best places to meet people is through interests like volunteer work, school (only for special interests like photography), professional designation like toastmasters club, etc...
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 59
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History
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:28:29 PM
Take up dancing. Most women love to dance, most men don't.
 leonv
Joined: 2/20/2010
Msg: 62
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 7/13/2010 5:59:54 PM
lets see i have been on here for a while and no luck i changed my profile and added pics to,but what can i say to a women to get a responce please help leon
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 65
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 4/25/2011 3:28:43 PM
"Go grocery shopping".

There you go OP, start going grocery shopping. A real life changer, no doubt.

And start talking to people rather than sending letters or telegrams. I really got to know my co-workers once I started talking to them rather than sending memos.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 71
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 5/3/2011 12:41:13 PM
^^^^^^^^

I could name a few places where it would be a waste of time to look for trees.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 72
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 5/3/2011 1:03:29 PM
I work at Victoria's Secret selecting women's underwear.

Do anyone knows where can I meet some women?

I am a very shy person and turn red every time these ladies ask me "what do you think" as they try stuff on.

Do anyone has any idea?




 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 73
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 5/3/2011 1:17:13 PM

I've met two ex boyfriends at a coffee shop. I'd sit there and read and they'd approach me and ask me about the book or if I'm a student/ etc. Then I'd ask them to join me. And voila. We'd click.


And THERE we have it.. From the mares mouth..

Gals, take an interesting book to the coffee shop and swill coffee for hours, until your unsuspecting prey falls into your lap..

Guys, recon the local coffee shops for single gals sitting alone.. Take a few minutes to VERIFY the alone part, her boyfriend may be in the mens room..
Then casually walk by, see if she looks at you, scan the book title so you have something interesting to say.. Say something interesting..

If she smiles and engages you in conversation, sit down and buy her some more coffee until she bursts...
 pomzz
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 75
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 5/9/2011 1:44:15 AM
I agree with Minako. You must have some interests or hobbies so find a group that is into the same and join up. Take some lessons such as cooking classes or other things that might appeal to women and men. Volunteering is also a great way to meet people.
The main thing is you have to force yourself to get out of the house and do things!
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 78
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 5/10/2011 7:40:34 AM
"When you approach a woman do so without an agenda."

Better to say not to have any expectations towards any particular woman you approach. You have to have an agenda at least in so far as being friendly and wanting to make a connection of some sort, or nothing will ever happen. You can't depend on other people to have an agenda for you.
 JewelsnTools
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 80
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History
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 5/15/2011 12:33:27 AM
I'm right there with you on not being fond of crowds. After an hour, my skin's practically crawling!
OT: First, especially as a more reserved person, stop trying to meet women. Instead, take this time to explore new interests and hobbies that you enjoy. In social situations, we're often so nervous because meeting potential dates is the whole point of the gathering. What if you happened to be doing something you, personally, really enjoyed, and a really cool person came over to ask you about it? You'd be more than willing to fill her in on it, right? No pressure, no expectations, and you're all geared up because you're excited about something you both might share! That's one.
Second, I feel your pain on the "old/guy co-workers" thing, too. Being in a small area has to be kind of creepy, too, for someone your age. The good thing is, though, co-workers often have daughters, granddaughters, sisters, etc. Simply mentioning that you've joined this site might prompt a few of them into matchmaker mode!
Also, even with a shared aversion to crowds, would you consider volunteering your time to a worthy cause? Find something you're interested in, that others need---- soup kitchen/pantry service, homebuilding, meals-on-wheels, anything where you can serve others instead of spending time worrying about meeting potential dates. Women can smell desperation and fear. It's not a nice cologne!
If you're a reserved person, just don't forget that many women want to know that you've got some "heat" somewhere in your soul. And don't ever forget that the best way to get to know someone else is to ask her questions about what she likes, and actually listen to her answers---not by droning on for hours only about your self!
Enjoy your youth, find out what gives you joy. Someone will share that, too!
Jewels
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 81
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 5/15/2011 5:57:03 AM

The best thing you can do is to work on becoming more assertive. This will not only help you with meeting women, but will make you a stronger person in all areas of your life.

Take risks. Walk up to that lady and say hello.

You don't like crowds? Well, that happens to be where the people are. Push yourself to get out of your comfort zone.

The more you do it, the easier it will get.

Well said.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 82
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 5/17/2011 8:09:34 AM
JewelsnTools:

"The good thing is, though, coworkers often have daughters, granddaughters, sisters, etc. Simply mentioning that you've joined this site might prompt a few of them into matchmaker mode!"

That's a nice, socially acceptable fantasy, but I'm betting that few single women in the OP's age range are willing to be thought desperate enough to allow themselves to be fixed up by their grandfather or mother.

And remember, if the OP lives in a community where the unattached women in his age range are outnumbered by the unattached men in the same age range, those women will neither want nor need to be fixed up, but will have men approaching them on a regular basis.
 GJallDay
Joined: 1/28/2014
Msg: 84
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 4/1/2014 6:45:12 PM
Alot of folk on this post have said meet women at grocery stores. I work in grocery and 99% of the women I was bold enough to ask out claimed to have boyfriends. The other 1% gave me their number but flaked after a few text. Don't bother at a grocery store. You have to go somewhere where interaction is actually encouaged. at least when it comes to women age 20-30
Most women there won't even make eye contact with you unless you do something that demands attention
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 86
Best way to meet women...
Posted: 4/12/2014 8:35:51 PM
There's no best place. To meet ANYONE, you need to be open. If you're standing in line for anything, or waiting for anything, talk to anyone around you. This is what people mean when they say you find someone when you stop looking. Just be social and it'll happen. And I know from experience that shy guys can have random conversations. I was there once. The only way to overcome it is to just do it. Surprisingly, most people in public WILL talk to you. Don't talk to everyone expecting them to want to date you or have a friend for you, just talk. If there's something there, you'll know and you'll know to go for more.

Forget certain places, forget dating sites, just do the one thing that everyone who's dating someone has in common... Talk, every opportunity you get. It might be easier to find some social hobby though, or any meetup or club centered around a hobby, so you have a good starting point of what to talk about since you're shy.
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