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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?      Home login  
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 Almostmarried
Joined: 3/19/2010
Msg: 1
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Ok, here's my next issue. Sorry for posting so much but I have questions. Not sure if this is just wedding jitters based on my last post about what to call each other's parents but weigh in and tell me what you think.

My fiance has been unemployed for almost a year when her job laid her off last year. She just started a new temporary assignment today and she's planning on taking next Friday off to get her hair and nails done. I told her I think that's too soon to be asking for time off for what ever reason. She told me I just don't understand the mind of a woman and that they need that day before to get ready. The wedding is not until late in the afternoon on that Saturday so I suggested she just get her hair and nails done the morning of. Jobs are hard to come by and this is only the second assignment she's been on in a year. I don't want her to jeopardize this temp assignment just to get her hair and nails done. Again, stop me if I'm wrong but would any of you take a day off 10 days into a new job just to get something done that can really wait until the next day? It's not like we're getting married at 11 AM. Am I wrong? Should I just shut up and let her take this time off?
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 2
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 12:42:55 PM
If I was getting married 11 days after starting a new job, it would have been something I would have informed my new employer upon being hired. If I felt I needed that 10th day (the day before) to do last-minute wedding errands and hair and nails done? That would also be something I would have informed them of upon being hired.

I highly doubt many bosses, even new ones, are going to give an employee (even a new one) flak for needing the day off before their wedding.

If the wedding is late in the afternoon on Saturday, I assume you yourself are working till at least noon that day? After all, theoretically you should only need an hour to get ready, shower and shave, being a guy, right?
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 3
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 12:42:57 PM
Sorry buddy...


Her wedding is the day after right?

This job is not that important to her. that wedding is.

nothing you can do about it bro.

hell maybe she told the manager before she was hired that she needed that day off because she was getting married the following day.

day of the wedding is always TREMENDOUSLY busy and women are so nervous/excited, etc that having too much to do at the last minute is not always a good thing.
 bluesandrock
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 4
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 12:43:58 PM
Yeah, I think you are just not getting it. Every job I have had realizes life goes on no matter how long you have been working there. Add in the fact it is the day before her wedding is just not any old day. Any place of employment that would hold that against a person is not a place I would want to be working.
 readyfornow
Joined: 5/15/2009
Msg: 5
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 12:52:58 PM
Has she ever hear of doing this after she gets off work?
 sleeping beauty
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 6
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 12:56:12 PM
you got the jitters......relax. she's totally within good reason. best wishes!!!!
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 7
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 12:59:49 PM
Yeah, leave it be. I'm sure she already told them why she needs to take the day, and, as a former office manager, I can't imagine the response was anything other than expressions of happiness for her. This is a perfectly reasonable thing for her to do.

Editing in response to those saying no woman would get her hair done the day before: I think you're assuming she's Caucasian. The different texture of Black hair will hold a style for days, even a week or so.
 migivadamsbusted
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 8
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:00:01 PM
depends, has she talked it over with her employer before being hired, were they ok with it?
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 9
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:05:10 PM
she's lying to you about why she's taking the time off.. NO woman would get her hair done THE DAY BEFORE she was going to get married.. Unless she planned on not moving for the next 24 hours. Nails .. maybe .. hair, no way.

BTW.. I'd stop trying to control her decisions.. you can voice your opinion to her, but you and especially us here in the fora have little control over what she's set her mind on. You might mention that her hair do will be a don't by the time the actual wedding takes place, that might change her mind.
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 10
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:08:15 PM

NO woman would get her hair done THE DAY BEFORE she was going to get married.. Unless she planned on not moving for the next 24 hours. Nails .. maybe .. hair, no way.


I noticed that too, but I just assumed the OP's gal maybe meant a cut or a colouring, was all, which I can agree nobody would want to risk three hours before "go-time". Anyway, OP, just jitters on your part I'd say. Relax, congratulations, and enjoy your wedding day, and let her enjoy it all too.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 11
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:14:21 PM
You should just cancel the wedding and ask her to work some overtime.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 12
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:25:11 PM
Having worked as a temp for years (years ago) it's a whole different ballgame. First, I would assume she informed them of the need to have that particular day off before she started - if not with the assignment, at least with the placement agency. Secondly - if she does a good job, they'll wait. A good temp is hard to find! And absolutely she is well within the realm of reason to want to get those things taken care of the day before. Dude, you need to take a pill or something!
Or are you afraid once the knot is tied she'll quit and expect you to 'take care of her'?
 Delete_Me_Please
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 13
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:45:04 PM
The thing that would annoy me as her employer wouldn't be the need to take the day before off, it would be the lack of notice, which she should have given at the time of the assignment since it was only 10 days in advance. To me, that is a sign of what kind of employee she is and it's not a good one. So if she asks for the day off, it should be with the understanding that she'll probably get it but she risks being devalued as an employee or let go completely.
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 14
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:48:44 PM
Personally, I can see the OP's point, but after reading the majority of the posts I have to go with the flow. A wedding is a very stressaful time for a woman.

Is it something you should make a big deal about? Not if you want to HAVE a wedding!

Good luck to you both!
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 15
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:58:56 PM

NO woman would get her hair done THE DAY BEFORE she was going to get married..


If this is a stylist who has never worked with her before, I would definitely have a test-run appointment to try out different styles the day before...not a biggie there, my sister did the same thing.

Stop panicking!!! Let her have her day...I doubt her boss is too pissed about it since she gave them notice that she wouldn't be in that day in advance.

DON'T FORGET TO TELL HER HOW GORGEOUS SHE LOOKED COMING DOWN THE AISLE!!!
 Abbicci
Joined: 11/17/2008
Msg: 16
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 2:09:47 PM
So, since you are all worked up over one day off, are you guys going on a honeymoon?


I can't imagine any employer being a douche about someone taking the day off before their wedding. And for the life of me I cannot imagine why you have your boxers in such a twist over this.
 Annie was here
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 17
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 2:11:39 PM
I hope you have always wanted a wife who was equivalent to a house cat because my dear that is what you are about to get. I would be willing to bet big money that very soon after your wedding she will be quitting that job to be a "house wife". Anyway why would anyone get their hair done the day before their wedding? Your obviously going to sleep on your head and the hair style will be ruined so again what would be the point of that?
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 18
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 2:35:18 PM

If I was getting married 11 days after starting a new job, it would have been something I would have informed my new employer upon being hired. If I felt I needed that 10th day (the day before) to do last-minute wedding errands and hair and nails done? That would also be something I would have informed them of upon being hired.

I highly doubt many bosses, even new ones, are going to give an employee (even a new one) flak for needing the day off before their wedding.

If the wedding is late in the afternoon on Saturday, I assume you yourself are working till at least noon that day? After all, theoretically you should only need an hour to get ready, shower and shave, being a guy, right?

Since she obviously didn't do that, she also has the alternative for scheduling her stuff later in the afternoon or evening as most places do stay open past 5, so she doesn't have to take off and/or doesn't have to take the whole day.

And I'm with Sweetness and Wishes she is either flat out lying or she is completely insane because no one would be dumb enough to cut or color their hair the day before their wedding in case something went wrong. You want to give a cut a little time to grow out and you want to be able to fix the color debacle if there is one. If she is doing her hair in an upswept type thing, that would be done in the morning so it wouldn't be slept on and ruined.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 19
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 2:42:39 PM
^^^^Even if she did get the hair done earlier, she could schedule the nails at any time, most places are open until 9:00 she just thinks she should be a princess and for an almost 40-year-old woman that is IMO ridiculous. Every time she does something that could cost you money, result in a lost job, or whatever else she brings upon you as a couple you are going to be expected to get over it because it is her prerogative as a woman apparently.

Have you posted here before under a different username? I remember someone posting about a fairly irresponsible partner that he was going to marry; your posts seem shades of that guy. Put up about half a dozen threads at least illustrating glaringly that they are not compatible. Any other information you want to share with us about your relationship dynamic?

Dude, you have two different approaches to life and you either have to figure out how to make them mesh or you should seriously call off the wedding. You can get married at any time sans everybody being pissed at you because this sounds like a production for which money has been shelled out. Better off marrying later and being sure about it.

In this economy, she seems pretty stupid to be honest. As sweetness noted, I started two different jobs that within a month or starting I knew I was going to have to take a week off for out of town weddings and told them that when I was interviewed to make sure it wouldn't be a problem and to apologize for doing it; weddings, particularly other people's weddings, you can't just up and change because you started a new job nor can you bow out of if you are standing up in the wedding.

That said, from these two posts it sounds like you are the grown-up and she is 39? This sounds like shit I would hear from someone in their twenties not someone nearly my own age. Given average life expectancies you will experience the joy or misery of your union for somewhere between 30-40 years. Do you find yourself often acting almost as if a parent with this woman? Maybe it is time to sit down and figure out taking your feelings out of it for a moment, just how compatible are you?

Given this thread and the other, she seems to dismiss your opinion quite a bit, sounds like when it is logical opinion, do you do the same?

Sometimes we have cold feet for a reason. If nothing else, if you feel like you are going to an execution rather than your own wedding, have the balls to call it off.
 Funcuz
Joined: 1/16/2009
Msg: 20
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 4:07:13 PM
The women here could tell you best but it sounds more like an excuse to be lazy. Like they said , if this is for her hair then she either doesn't plan to get any sleep whatsoever or she's actually NOT getting her hair done. Nails and other things , okay , that makes some sense although , to be honest , whatever happened to 'after work' ?

I dunno but really , this just says "lazy" to me. If she doesn't like her job and doesn't want to work at all then why did she get it in the first place ?
 De Adra
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 21
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 5:52:08 PM
Her employer probably realizes she’s going to be completely useless at work the day before her wedding, anyway.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 22
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 6:08:00 PM
There's not enough information to go on. For one thing, it kinda depends on what kind of temp work she's doing. If it's receptionist or other administrative type of work, as long as she notifies the manager and/or makes arrangements for a substitute, it wouldn't be a big deal.

On the other hand, it would not look good if she's doing specialized work and she was hired to meet a deadline and taking time off causes the schedule to slip.
 calisto04
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 23
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 7:47:04 PM
I have to disagree with a lot of the women in here. If it were me, I would not risk losing the job and even if I had permission, I would not ask for the time off. I'm just a really practical person and never would have planned my hair and nails to be done the day before because there is too much that could mess that up between getting it done and arriving at the wedding.

But then I'm kind of a tom-boy type and kind of rough on my nails and have no desire to sleep sitting up all night just to preserve a hairdo I could get the following day. That's just crazy.

She should plan that kind of stuff the morning of the wedding and relax at home afterward, perhaps going over the checklist prior to the wedding.
 maximusminimus
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 24
Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 8:01:56 PM

Again, stop me if I'm wrong
Stop! You're wrong.
In fact, you should take a day off yourself to do some soul searching and see what you think you have to offer this woman.
 OMG!WTF!
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 25
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Taking a day off so soon after getting a job?
Posted: 3/22/2010 8:21:35 PM
hmmmmmm

TEMPORARY job vs PERMANENTLY pissed off wife

That's a hard one.
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