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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Is this Terrific 2's behavior or should I be concerned?      Home login  
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 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Is this Terrific 2's behavior or should I be concerned?Page 1 of 1    
Good advice from everybody but I would add, if you can, make a surprise visit one or more times on different days when they aren't expecting you to show up, make sure that things look as good when the parents aren't around as when they are.

He is adjusting and he might not get over it. I worked two days a month out of the home when my middle son was daycare age. He went to pre-school at our church and once a month he did the daycare because the meetings went past the pre-school hours. He would cry and moan every single time I left him which would last slightly longer than the time it took me to get out the door. Every single time I picked him up, did you have a good time, he always answered yes, so I have no clue why he did this every time he went other than perhaps he didn't like the longer hours he was at the daycare as opposed to pre-school.

It's been a while since I had a little one but if I'm not mistaken 2 is about the time that separation anxiety crops up for some kids. I agree that he is likely still adjusting but do make sure that the place is as good as you think it is.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 10
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Is this Terrific 2's behavior or should I be concerned?
Posted: 3/25/2010 8:50:40 AM
Visiting the caregiver would be great but give him some time to make the adjustment. When he is cool with the new place, contact her and go visit. My kids and I have done this with a lot of different people over the years teaching them that even if someone is not with them every day we still have contact with them. If you did it now, it might confuse him a great deal.

Hon, sometimes it is better to just slip away. Without an audience, no need to cry and he just goes about his day that way.

My daughter was in day care for about two years, from the time she was 1 until I had my second child at 3. After that, she was in the church pre-school. She loved both, never shed a tear, etc.

I was totally unprepared for the first day of kindergarten. My mother was a kindergarten teacher and one of her frustrations was the parents of the kids that were having problems. It is much easier on the child to drop him/her off and scoot, give them time to adjust so the parent isn't there keeping them from adjusting. Some of these people more than a month into school were still hanging around making their children miserable.

My mother went with me that first day of school and I am sure some of the parents thought we were awful because the second my daughter started to cry my mom and I split so fast we probably blew everybody's hair up. Not a word was passed between us, we knew what would make it easier in the long run on my daughter.

Try doing what you are doing now but just leaving rather than making an announcement. Years ago, when one of my nieces was around 2, I was at my mother's and my SIL, who pretty much never went anywhere without the kids made this big huge production of I am leaving to go to the store. The kid cried, screaming crying, for like a half hour. My mother and I tried everything to calm the child down and I finally spoke to her in a sharp voice and told her to stop it. After that she was okay playing but the entire thing could have been avoided by her mother just leaving and not making a huge to-do about it.

I realize this is not your situation but in a way it is. Your son is okay until you tell him you are leaving and then he cries, duh, he wants you to stay and play with him. Just a normal kid there. This may be particularly apparent to him if you weren't in the habit of doing this at the old caregiver's, i.e. making him aware that you are leaving because you are worried that he is okay with the change.
 happygal_28
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 18
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Is this Terrific 2's behavior or should I be concerned?
Posted: 4/2/2010 8:27:10 PM
@ those complimenting smartypants...YAY! I love seeing ECE's get the credit they deserve! That is one under-respected, underpaid and overlooked job! These ladies are supporting our next generation and the ones who do it well and with pride should be highly commended! This said by an RT (Resource Teacher) working in Early Intervention (all your kids with special needs who deserve to be cared for with as much passion as "typically developing" kids).

BRAVO!!
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 20
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Is this Terrific 2's behavior or should I be concerned?
Posted: 4/3/2010 2:54:29 PM
OP, this is a tough one. No one from the outside can know, no matter their experience - and I have to admit my background is with older kids (lots and lots). But this sounds like he's having difficulty with the swap after bonding to his previous daytime person. Its normal for kids, particularly those under 4, to be local in their associations. They don't want 3, 5 or 6 people involved; they're good with 1 or 2. Its a bit like "making strange", which I thought was some sort of explusion before attending pre-natal classes.

Maybe this will get better on its own. It may help to spend some time before leaving the daycare with him a few days to encourage him to socialize with another child, or develop a ritual, - or maybe look something up to see how to make this work. It can be very traumatic for both of you.

There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the daycare. It is the way things are. Kid's are not bushes, they know when they've been transplanted. Still if this went on for months I'd consider swapping the tyke to another place. Sometimes there's something unknown and unfindable that is making a situation not work.
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