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 a faithful mom
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 1
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son's spermdonor Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
my son's spermdonor never saw him untill this past year. now he tryen to take him. only paid one childsuport payment. His new wife works for a state agency. And they got her a tuble revercal and fertility treatments. during the treatments she ask me to let him sighn over his rights. I said no. then she ask me to drop childsuport. i said if he wasn't going to phisicaly be apart of his life he need to pay child suport or go to jail. well she found out the treatments didn't work and now i am being draged back and forth to court. they are calling DSS and lyeing on me. he showed my son a gun and told him he was going to shoot me. refuses to give him his meds when he has him. gave him the chains off of a chain saw to play with. let him play with fire. but i still have to let him go over there cuz it court ordered! I have called DSS. He has contacts there. They did nothing. What can i do???? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!! I NEED TO PROTECT MY SON!!!
 a faithful mom
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 2
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/27/2010 8:39:42 PM
i cant aford a lawer! i borrowed money to pay retainer on one and she quit on me. cuz i couldn't pay her anymore.
 a faithful mom
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 3
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/27/2010 8:55:55 PM
I have aplied for it but last time i did they didn't have funds. I hear back from them next week. if they take custody case it be great. but they won't do DSS cases! he got a case open on me with out the investigator ever contacting me. i just got a certified lettor. I am not giving up! BUT I HAVE TRYED JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING I KNOW! He has been to jail countless times.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 4
son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/27/2010 9:34:17 PM
Why do you take your son t0o a place where he is endangered?

God himself couldnt tell me to put my kids in a place where they were playing with chainsaws and fire. And i would love to see him try.

Call childrens services for the child endangerment, and the police for the gun threats.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 5
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/27/2010 10:06:19 PM
OP, if you're serious about dealing with this there is help. You should have your thoughts organized and see this as less of a war. War does not help.

The idea is to make the situation you're in the ideal and obvious stable solution for the child. After that it helps to have some of the law on your side.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 6
son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/28/2010 7:01:14 AM
Funny how all the ladies are so apt to automatically delete thread about how tough it is about to find love as a single mom but have no problem keeping a thread about sperm doners alive and well.

To the OP, people are funny huh? As the receptacle of said sperm donation you had just as much if not more opportunity and options to have avoided this situation you now find yourself in. It seems to me that your ex was willing to become a family man but perhaps not with you or you chose to kick his butt to the curb but pay.

I think more women should really start owning up to the idea that having a child will link you to a person that you may or may not be able to get along with to provide a stable environment for a child. You ladies do have more options before and after conception.

Here is a reality check for all you ladies out there, doesn't it make you wonder that the OP went to legal aid but had run out of funds? Wake up! Men are rarely if ever accepted into any legal aid program but the simple fact that they ran out of money says that you are not alone and WAY too many are seeking help for an avoidable situation.

If you were a man everyone here would tell you to suck it up, buttercup. Get a second job, sell everything you own to pay for a lawyer but since you are female it is expected that someone else will help you ie. the government.
I just find it sad that this not only is repeating but multiplying like the shampoo commercial. I got pregnant so two of my friends got pregnant and inspired four more....and so on and so on and so on.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 7
son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/28/2010 10:15:11 AM
No I have as much dislike for men who breed uncontrollably too. As far as legal aid goes unless you live in a major city, most men will be rejected as far as getting representation.

Go to the home page of legal aid and see how the slant is towards those seeking child support as opposed to those needing assistance in getting it reduced. Have had correspondence with both the minister of social services Ontario and the attorney general about the subject. Can't speak for the states though but I can imagine that men who lose their jobs aren't facing the same difficulties in getting help for adjustments.

Just one other thing notice how the OP claims ownership of the child, very rarely is it our son.
 a faithful mom
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 8
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/28/2010 12:19:04 PM
i have called social services. my son told them what went on. and nothing was done!!! I am tryen to get legal aid!!! The guy has 7 kids by 6 diferent women! When he got married again i was glad! hope he settle his tale down and be a daddy to my boy. well he is when it convenet for him and to make his wife happy. but as far as settleing down he ant. i have seen him with about 4 diferent girls sence he got married. and all but one of them was kissing him. not all men are like him. i let him be apart of his life b/c i beleive every father has right to be apart of there childs life. If they are going to be a good part! then when i turn down leting them sighn over his rights is when all the stuff started happening! and he filed for custody already. If i don't send him to his house then i get arested and tost in jail. then he have him hole time i am in jail for contempt of court. It is court ordered for me to take him over there! If it up to me he would never lay eyes on my boy again! If he offer again i let him sighn over his rights!!!!
 a faithful mom
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 9
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/28/2010 12:29:27 PM
To me abortion is MURDER! I LOVE MY BOY AND WOULD NEVER GIVE HIM UP! And i help a freind of mine get custody of his child. i have nothing to sell. i am on a freind's computer! all i got is furniture. and you have to have that in DSS eyes! I loose jobs cuz of my son's health! i am aplying for disability. I want to work! nobody hireing for first shift. or daycare hours. they are no 24hrs daycares around here! the little bit of family i got around here don't want to keep my boy cuz of his disabilities! SO PLEASE HELP! I am shore i ant the only one going threw this. Mabey your info will also help another single parent going threw same thing!
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 10
son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/28/2010 1:19:56 PM
Well soul lady here we are again. I am not a big fan of men who are like that of the op's ex but having said that did she bother to find out all this before or after the fact.
In an other thread soul you had inquired asto why I had a problem with my nephew and his fwb. Well like the op's ex he is a son of a single mom who now has three kids with three different women all unmarried. So did the cycle stop there?
So many women ( the op withstanding ) would like most of us to believe that men like this are not suitable yet here is the op - one of a harem of women with which this breeder has conned into having unprotected sex because you will have a very hard time convincing many here that he could be that (un)lucky to have spawned so many unless he has mutated sperm able to circumvent the most effective birth control.

To the op, I am truly sorry for your situation but I would be happier if the info given in these threads would discourage other women from getting to where you are now.
And by the way the term murder cannot be applied to abortion>

To soul lady, I have always felt that the single parents should have a separate forum thread but for advice such as the op is looking for this is not a suitable place to seek it.
There are so many sites that cater to parents, be they single or not.
 a faithful mom
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 11
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/28/2010 1:35:44 PM
i did know about 3 of the 4 older children. the ones older than mine. 2 with his ex-wife and one with first girlfreind. then their is mine. and then they are 2 younger! and yes i was stupid enough to give in to him. but i got my boy! he is a blessing no matter how it happen. yes it was both us that made him. but I have raised him by my self! He is not apart of any of them exept mine and 2 others and even then it when it convenet for him! He in and out. One of the other 2 has to be made to go to his place. that one is 10 years old!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 12
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/28/2010 6:00:55 PM
Singleagain makes a good point. The agency the woman works for should know she is abusing her position to abuse the system.

Taken makes a good point as well, whether represented by a lawyer or not, you should read the law on custody, child support and what child services can and cannot do.

Document everything, and I mean everything.
 myblueshadow
Joined: 11/11/2009
Msg: 13
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 3/29/2010 7:14:29 AM
I always wonder what the other side of the story is.
 Gardenmom
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 14
son's spermdonor
Posted: 4/9/2010 6:58:56 PM
There are to many options out there for you to be over reacting the way you are. Opening a daycare would be a start. Are you to disabled to do even that? Is your son old enough to talk? He must be if he told you his Biological father showed him a gun and stated he would harm you. Have your son make a statement to the police and get an order or protection against him. There are province functions that will provide investigations on these alligations. Can you read? Go to a library. There are books there that can help you. Child custody laws in your province that he can not circumvent. If you give-up he will take that child. If you don't try everything in your legal power to do what you can he will take the child. If he has a stable job and a place to live take the child and move away, because if he has a more stable environment again he will take the boy.

I am a single mother as well. I have raised my son on my own for 5 years now. No help from the father or family. Life is tough are you?
 PregnantLady
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 15
son's spermdonor
Posted: 4/14/2010 5:21:00 PM
I hate when women use the term sperm donor to label a guy who they willingly laid down and spread their legs for. I am also curious as to what level of education you have since you spelling and grammar both are atrocious. I don't know if its different where you live but in Missouri sometimes a child gets rewarded to the parent that seems to be more educated and able to care for the child.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 16
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 4/16/2010 10:55:44 AM
Document everything, lower the drama level by keeping yourself in check. Referring to him as 'sperm donor' is vulgar and unnecessary. You picked him sweetie and need to watch your mouth with that kind of talk. You child WILL hear it.
Kill the bugger with kindness, keep your own behavior above reproach and don't look for problems it only intensifies them.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 17
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son's spermdonor
Posted: 4/20/2010 4:51:38 AM
you know, my sons mother and i do not like each other!, we really, really do not, we lasted one year after my son was born,we chose, to go through mediation, not court, court is only good for the lawyers, the more you fight the more money they make
then we went to a parenting program, it was a 6 month program, it was very good, we learned to look at each other as parents, not partners
the truth is i still do not like her nor does she like me
i learned i can be a great dad, even if i do not have custody
i also learned that she is a great mother, she knows i am a great father
we worked together, over the last 17 years, for example, if he was grounded with her, he was with me as well
his mom thinks the world of me as a father, and i feel the same way about her
he is a great student, has a lot of interests, is a good person,
he will be going to university next year,all the money is saved up, and i never missed a child support payment
 EVROCKS
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 18
son's spermdonor
Posted: 4/25/2010 7:26:06 PM
Yeah...not fond of the term "sperm donor" here either. Yuck.

Look, I can tell by your language that you are not highly educated. I have a college degree and still have trouble deciphering what the law books say. But do what you can. Write down everything and when it happened, to the best of your ability. Call the police to your home. They will write up a report. They will probably question your son. You don't want to end up in ambiguous family court where the mood that the judge happens to be in that day will determine which of you he believes. His father has made a threat against your life and that is not a "family court" matter. It is a criminal matter. Calling the cops costs you nothing, and they will tell you what to do next. Make sure they have the correct mailing address for you, and a second one in case you have to flee at some point. Request a protective order for yourself and your son. If your son is convincing enough, they would have to be complete idiots not to follow through.

In the mean time, make sure your house is clean, son is bathed regularly, food is in the fridge, etc. Give them nothing to "get" you on.
 EVROCKS
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 19
son's spermdonor
Posted: 4/25/2010 7:38:10 PM

his mom thinks the world of me as a father, and i feel the same way about her
he is a great student, has a lot of interests, is a good person,
he will be going to university next year,all the money is saved up, and i never missed a child support payment


If you're still in the mood to pay...I've got two young kids and a deadbeat dad...LMAO Heck I would give up child support in a second if he could just step up and be a decent father. Congratulations on what you have done for your son!
 Hiiwayman
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 20
son's spermdonor
Posted: 4/25/2010 9:23:00 PM
Boy would I like to hear the other side of THIS sniviling rant!!!
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