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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?      Home login  
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 Live1983
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 1
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I have a friend that is about to have her sixth abortion. I understand she doesn't want to be a single mom. I understand why. What I don't know is how she can keep getting pregnant and expect me (a single mom) to go with her to get rid of these children? Now about my real question. She is dating a good friend of mine, do I have any obligation to tell him her past? He's over the moon he met a girl with no baby's daddy drama (his ex had three babys daddys she cheated with time and time again)
 thatusernameistaken
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 2
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 1:21:55 PM
Holy ****ing shit balls! 6 abortions!!

Tell her the only way you are going is if you get to stitch her vagina closed with indestructible thread after its done. People like this shouldn't be allowed to have sex.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 3
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 1:25:14 PM
This is why there should be a mandatory sterilization with your 2nd abortion. . . perhaps you should suggest it?
 thatusernameistaken
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 4
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 1:27:25 PM
Oh, and YES, tell your other friend that he is dating an irresponsible skank.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 5
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 1:55:17 PM
Holy MOLY, 6 abortions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ya know, i consider myself pro-life ( i believe life begins at conception and dont like the idea of killing the unborn), but i could have empathy and understanding of a friend who had maybe ONE oopsie, chose an abortion, and yes i would go with her to hold her hand and comfort her if it was truly a mistake, as in she forgot BC or got caught up in the heat of the moment, and she needed someone to be there for her, even though i am not a fan of abortion.

BUT 6!!!!!!

6????????????????


6!!!!!!!

OMG,,,,,,,,6!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like she is uing abortion as an alternative to birth control.
Does she have somewhere she can go to get a birth control pill, shot, patch, or IUD?

Condoms can be bought at virtually any drugstore or grocery store.

WTF is up with 6 abortions.

Abortion is not an easy thing to go through, emotionally or physically. It is often a huge decision that can leave mental scars, so why would anyone put themselves in the position of having abortions on the regular? Has anyoner had a serious talkj with this girl? She needs a huge intervention. Having so may abortions, wouldnt that cause some damage to the uterus? And what kind of woman can have that number of abortions so cavalier-like? Its not like a picnic at the park. My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I dont know if its your business to tell her man of the abortion history, but for her own health i wouldnt want her to keep getting knocked up again and again and again, and using abortion as a free pass.

Tell her not to leave the fvcking building without birth control. Buy her condoms for Christmas.


Ugh.
 thatusernameistaken
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 6
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 2:05:31 PM
Here's another option.

Does she have a computer? If so then Google up a bunch of abortion pictures; real nasty ones. Leave those up on her computer screen so she gets to look at them next time she sits down. Set a nasty one as her desktop wallpaper too just for kicks.

She obviously doesn't care too much about what she is doing so don't worry, it shouldn't bother her in the least.
 splitions
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 7
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 2:25:34 PM
She needs to understand that abortion is not a form of birth control and shouldn't be used as that. She can get serious complications from it such as my friend who from only having one abortion had to get serious surgery afterwards because of complications. Now she has to deal with chronic abdominal pain for the rest of her life. People like her make me sick. I can understand getting one abortion, learn from your mistakes and make sure it NEVER happens again. She is so irresponsible and I hate to say it but she is the kind of person that I hope gets complications from it so maybe she would learn.

And hell no, don't go with her. Tell her she is a **** up that deserves to go at it alone.
 KarmicEvolution
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 8
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How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 3:01:50 PM
Im trying to figure out where shes getting all these abortions done that they arnt shoving birth control down her throat.

There are no excuses for not taking birth control these days. Clinics will give it to you free if you cant afford it, you can get 5 year/no pill IUDs, I mean really...

When it comes time that she does want a child karma is going to take over. Tell your "friend" that if she cant keep her legs closed or make an effort to use birth control then you cant make the effort to go with her.

6... Jesus. Im pro-choice and I cant wrap my head around that....
 NowSucksLess
Joined: 2/4/2010
Msg: 9
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 3:17:43 PM
See, this is what happens when those clinics use those "Buy 5 abortions, get the 6th one for free" cards. Tsk Tsk
 himynameisSarah
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 10
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 3:19:28 PM

6... Jesus. Im pro-choice and I cant wrap my head around that....


Pro choice: the choice begins between your legs. Keep them shut, you have no problem... so sick of people calling it a choice. I wonder how many abortion recipients have had this many abortions. It's not a choice, it's an irresponsible person using a medical procedure to erase their mistakes.

OP: they make this thing called a 38 pistol. Blow that chicks head off and she won't have to worry about anymore unexpected pregnancies (no doubt partially funded by taxpayers)... God forbid she ever actually gets pregnant and keeps a child. Who the hell needs to be mothered by her.
And, just tell her you can no longer support her in her decisions.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 11
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How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 3:25:08 PM
Come on if she has not learned after six, it is a really good thing she is getting abortions. Don't want her kids in the pool. Telling of your friends abortion plans would make you a low life if it was meant to be just between you two and she must believe that it was.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 12
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 4:13:01 PM
Wow and I thought men were looked down about their slanted views.
Abortion is perfectly within her rights as a woman, how dare any of you judge her.
Would you rather she had six kids she couldn't care for? Or raised to becomes dregs on society most likely on our dime?

Pro-choice my foot. Hypocrites. You can't just draw that line at the number you can live with. You can't even say it would be okay to call one an oopsie and then condemn her for doing it a second time let alone six.
At least she is choosing stick to her conviction of not being just another single mother maybe she is the one bucking the new trend.
Y'all better get your protest placard at ready because there are about 40,000 a year in Canada happening and 49,551,703 of them in the US since roe v wade.
33,311,389 - Current population of Canada (2008 )

I was a little freaked about her group of friends on the whole. Is her multi-father cheating friend a better person because she kept hers? Get real people.
 himynameisSarah
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 13
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 4:39:20 PM
Dude... abortion is wrong. It doesn' tmatter if it's legal, supported, if it's one or fifty. It's wrong because it is not accepting personal responsibility for your actions. But, I'm in no place to judge anyone... I can still voice my opinion. I don't think it should be illegal, because women will find a way, but people shouldn't be allowed to have six. Get your freaking tubes tied.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 14
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 4:51:25 PM
Wrong for you. ^^^^^^^^ I do however give you the respect to have that view. How dare you make the choice for someone else. Who gave you the right to do that? I am of the opinion you would have a very tough time making abortion illegal again.

To the OP, if you feel you can't be there for her than tell her straight up how you feel, like I said before you just can't just draw the line in the sand where you feel comfortable.
You have to decide if she is your friend - not us.
 himynameisSarah
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 15
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 5:06:34 PM
One bone I have to pick: it's the woman's choice when she decides to have the abortion: the man has no say so.

If the man doesn't want the kid and she goes ahead: he's stuck with child support for 18 years. WTF... I think men should have a choice too, or at least be able to opt out of payments.
 Honesty is hardly ever
Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 16
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 5:28:48 PM
It's easy to call it a choice when you avoid calling it a life. I believe it is. I am divided on special circumstances though, so I try not to judge, but I do sit on the jury as we all do. There is a lot of food for thought here. Like a previous poster mentioned, She had a choice...not to have sex. Or some form of contraceptive. Back to the original point. OP...Tell her NO, and in detail. If she bails on your friendship...who needs it?
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 17
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 5:37:13 PM
Jeezus sarah, didn't you know all pregnancies are the fault of men???????
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 18
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How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 5:45:25 PM
I'd tell her you'll go with her to get her tubes tied, but no more abortions. And tell her that if she doesn't tell your friend that she's dating to tell him she's had 6 abortions, that you will tell him.
 Indestructible23
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 19
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:01:11 PM
One has to wonder at what point abortion is considered murder. 6 potential humans killed because of one woman's utter stupidity? I'm not an advocate for abortion nor am I totally opposed to it because certain circumstances would call for an abortion to be appropriate but this woman should be drawn and quartered.

OP...You shouldn't even be seeking advice. You should grow a pair of testicles and tell her like it is.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 20
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How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 8:30:52 PM
Well, there is a big difference between happiness at no baby daddy drama and whether this man has any feelings about his baby being terminated. If you don't know whether he wants to have children at some point and would rather have input about a child that exists being terminated, tell him, he is your friend, no? If you were a man would you even possibly want to know? Again, I would tell him, unless you think he is the type to torture himself about it if she doesn't give a rat's azz what he wants.

My feelings when I was younger and single was that I would unless conceived within the context of a relationship terminate an unplanned pregnancy. I support a woman's right to choose but I find this a little more problematic with people that keep getting pregnant and almost appear to use abortion as birth control.

I have also encountered married people that chose or the woman did, to terminate a pregnancy. Even if I was in horrible financial shape or on the brink of a split, I don't think I could ever have terminated a pregnancy in that context, almost as if it would somehow cheapen my children to act as if one of them might have been disposable.

OP, just tell her you are sorry, but as a mother, it has been difficult holding her hand through this in the past and she isn't being a very good friend to you by continuing to ask you to do it without thinking that you might find it upsetting, i.e. the specter of not having your child(ren). And yannow, at this point I think you could really be honest with her and tell her that you do respect a woman's right to choose (even if you kind of don't, go with that to be less confrontational) but given this is the sixth visit to the clinic, maybe she should try using birth control instead of using the abortion clinic to prevent pregnancy.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 21
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/29/2010 8:42:10 PM
Your abortion happy friend has psychological problems. I believe your other friends needs to know about the history because sooner or later I'm guessing someone will be burdened with the after affects of her emotionally shunted mind.

I've heard of terrorists. I wonder if there is such thing as an abortionist?
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 22
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/30/2010 5:32:21 AM
Legalized abortion was never intended to be a primary form of birth control. It is for women who become pregnant unintentionally and feel they have no other alternative. Having an abortion, or even two, may be understandable, but when you start getting up to three, four, five, six and higher, it is strictly do to irresponsibility. In this day and age, there is NO excuse for a woman having six abortions, legal or not. There are multiple means of successful birth control that can be used. I wouldn't have a problem with mandatory tubal ligation after the third abortion. If the woman in question isn't responsible enough to prevent pregnancies, perhaps society should be.

Tell your friend that you don't agree with her method for birth control and that she will have to deal with this herself. As long as her family and friends give her a pass with this, she will continue. Anyone can make a mistake and unintentionally get pregnant. When it happens over and over, it's no longer a mistake. It's stupidity.

And yes, I would tell her boyfriend. He should know what type of morals she has.
 CodeNameKitty
Joined: 1/9/2010
Msg: 23
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/30/2010 8:32:56 AM
Jees, how completly messed up is that.

You know what I'd do, if she wants you to go with her, go and demand that they give her an IUD that gets put in and works all on it's own. In the least, you're speaking words of responsibility into the situation. And then walk out and leave her to go through it alone.
It seems like you're the one who's starting to pay the emotional price. Understand, there are some situations you will not be able to control, other than to walk away and have it NOT be a part of your personal existance.
At some point you have to wonder will she ever be able to carry a child to term....
ICK.
Do you have any obligations to tell the new boyfriend of her past? No you don't. But I think for me, I'd be so disgusted I'd start calling her the abortion queen of The United States of America.
Gads girl, get some new friends.
 NowSucksLess
Joined: 2/4/2010
Msg: 24
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/30/2010 8:35:34 AM

How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?


Just give her a couple dozen coat hangers and be done with it.

...sigh..I am so going to hell.
 brown_eyed_woman
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 25
How do I tell a friend I cant go with her to kill another baby?
Posted: 3/30/2010 8:35:44 AM
I would not go with her, and I would tell her enough is enough.

Tell her to get to a doctor before she gets preggers again, and get something done. I would go with her for a tubal surgery...to end any future mistakes...but never again to terminate another pregnancy. I would also drop some pretty heavy hints to anyone she dates...so they can be extra careful.
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