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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Men asking intimate questions right off the bat      Home login  
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 conway73
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 1
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Men asking intimate questions right off the batPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I need an opinion.

I talked to this guy via generic emails for about 2 emails (hope you had a good day, do you have messenger, etc) . Then he emails that he's not hung up on looks, as long as the woman has big boobs. I wasn't able to reply that day, so he emails asking if I was offended and he hopes I wasn't. I wasn't sure what to think but said I wasn't. We traded a couple more generic emails and then chatted on messenger. Before we'd talked for 5 minutes he's asking if I have big boobs. I didn't reply and a few minute later he mentioned I hadn't answered the question. I decided to let it go, said yes and went on. And then right after he's asking how big. I ignored that and he didn't bring it back up, but I'm kind of unsure what's up.

He's not the first guy I've had bring up something intimate like that before even really knowing anything about me. I ditched those guys, but I'm now forced to wonder if I' being overly sensitive.

Am I being oversensitive???
 conway73
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 2
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Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/1/2010 7:36:33 PM
Thanks Zermatt.... I kind of felt that way, but was trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately he's not the only guy I've had make me uncomfortable like that on the first real conversation. It's so frustrating!!!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 3
Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/1/2010 7:58:04 PM
My only question is why you even have to ask about this. The guy is clueless.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 4
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Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/1/2010 7:59:24 PM
OP, I think people can ask a question like that in a way that doesn't offend if for some reason the conversation goes in that direction. Like maybe he says I am boob man or something but out of the blue and to keep stressing it?

Perhaps the BBW on your profile suggests that you will be big busted as many BBW people seem to be fairly top heavy.

If you aren't comfortable with it, don't worry about it. It is more than likely that someone that wants to know your bust size isn't headed out to Victoria's Secret and he is filing that away as part of his get into her pants plan.

Don't think you have lost out by walking away from these men that seem so obsessed with the boobage.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 5
Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/1/2010 9:21:14 PM
Maybe he thinks BBW means "Big Busted Woman". You might want to change your body type to something else and see if that helps cut down on the rude questions.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 6
Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/2/2010 8:57:30 AM
If I barely know someone and get questions like this, I respond with a question. I ask why that information will matter to him in any way, or why any personal information (sexual, especially) would benefit either one of us? Then I tell him someone I want to sleep with or I'm interested in will find that out when the time comes. If that goes over his head I chalk him up to offensive and stupid. Will I discuss sex in a documentary sort of way or a general sense? Sure. What I won't do is get into my personal stuff or ask his. It's not something I care to know or tell unless/until a decent amount of interest in him is established. Until then, it's simply irrelevant.

I know there has to be a sexual compatibility for a relationship to go anywhere, and that it's better to know sooner than later if it's there - but asking before you get someone's name or where they live is WAY too soon, and will pretty much eliminate most women, with the exception of the rare couple that are ok with telling strangers their business, or women who are basically a lot looser about their sexual standards.

If your sex life is more important than your dating status, then look for women you can sleep with quickly, not date. It's obvious the dating part doesn't matter anyway.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 7
Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/2/2010 9:38:42 AM

Seriously, POF is like dumpster diving for a date. On a rare occasion you might find something not entirely tarnished but I wouldn't count on it.


And yet here you are.


OP- It just shows a lack of a lot of things for him to ask such a question. Its not an intimate question per se. But I guess he was setting up his first deal breaker for a woman.

He was trying not to waste your time nor his.
 NFLjunky718
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 8
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Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/2/2010 2:35:35 PM
Hey at the very least you have to give these guys credit for being direct in telling you exactly what it is that they are looking for. Either you're game or you aren't.

I also agree with another poster who said that the "nice guys" don't get laid as often for being on their "best behavior."
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 9
Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/3/2010 6:27:35 AM
'Basically strangers'? The OP said she had talked with this guy about 5-6 times through 2 different mediums. By that time most people would've been on a date or two already.

They hadn't. I don't care how long you talk to someone on the phone, it doesn't make them someone you really know unless/until you've met and hung out in the flesh at least once. He couldn't have known her that well to ask that question, obviously.

I do agree that the first thing that was said should have been addressed.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 10
Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/3/2010 5:56:54 PM
I get a little defensive of POF when I see comments like "this site" when referring to people having... ah... poor social skills. Seriously, this kind of behavior happens on the pay sites too.

OP, I've found that putting the restrictions "Must not be looking for Intimate Enounter" or "Must not have messaged other for Intimate Encounter" is a very good screening tool.
 misszmsz
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 11
Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/4/2010 5:20:10 PM
You are definately not being over sensitive, those rude guys only get cruder.

My profile shows only head shots for a reason, when I am interested in a man I send a full body shot.

From the time I was about 12yrs old I was blessed/cursed with large breasts, and my body is petite so this makes my chest apear even larger.

If a man compliments me, by saying he likes my figure, that is not an insult. The minute he asks for my measurements, questions if the are real, or compliments my large chest - he's history.

In person when I meet a man, if he can stop leering, I'm gone. Glance but don't stare. Most women feel the same way about unwanted attention.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 12
Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/20/2010 6:03:36 PM
No, you're not being oversensitive.

And, well, my thinking - if we hit it off chatting we're gonna meet, so I'll find out eventually. No rush there. I'd think it rude myself (being a guy even) to ask that.
 cabanaboy65
Joined: 8/30/2009
Msg: 13
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Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/22/2010 9:32:10 PM
Speaking for the *NICE GUYS* OP I have been on this site for 8 months & I have never asked a lady a question about her puppies or any other personal body parts, not in emails, texts, or phone calls. I am sorry you felt embarised & the jerk hurt your feelings. Not every guy from Arkansas is a pig.
 bestwomanever
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 14
Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/22/2010 10:20:07 PM
I've never understood why guys think they can actually get anywhere with a woman by asking her sexual things right away. They actually think a woman will sleep with them if they do this? What a bunch of idiots. I've tried the approach someone said of asking penis size, but they will answer happily and want to provide pics, lol. So, that doesn't shake them up at all.
I usually ask them what I just said: "You actually think a woman will sleep with you with you acting like this?" They either don't respond or just say that it does work (who are these nasty women it works on? lol). I told one guy I only want a gentleman and he needs to grow up, then he kept claiming he was one. Sure...whatever, loser.
Women need to quit letting losers like these get away with this stuff. Time for them to grow up and start respecting women, though at least it makes the nice, gentlemanly guys stand out more. :)
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 15
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Men asking intimate questions right off the bat
Posted: 4/24/2010 1:47:19 PM
I guess it may work for some guys on this site because there are are GOOD amount of women on here who have not had sex in a good while because they are not getting attention from people they find attractive.

So when they do find someone who they find attractive and is wants to chat, meet with them and/or have sex with them...sorry to say but some of these women take them up on their offer...or better yet...these women are putting out the offer!
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