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Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 2
Things not to say while describing golf.Page 1 of 1    
I've never played with golfers balls, I always have to bring my own...
 twobob au
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 4
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Things not to say while describing golf.
Posted: 4/8/2010 7:22:03 PM
Our little group was lined up on the first tee, when one fellow, who's wife encoraged him to undertake this physical activity, began to speak

He told us that his wife, that morning, washed and kissed his balls for luck!!

Only after we fell to the ground laughing did he realise what he had said.
 Horizontal Cazanova
Joined: 3/9/2010
Msg: 5
Things not to say while describing golf.
Posted: 4/9/2010 12:46:09 AM
Golf Poem

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,

White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.

Oh How Bland It Does Appear,

This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.

By Its Size I Could Not Guess,

Or The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.

But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,

I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same,

Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.

It Rules My Mind For Hours On End,

A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has Made Me Curse And Cry,

And Hate Myself And Want To Die.

It Promises A Thing Called Par,

Even If I Can Hit It Straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball,

Should Not Be Very Hard At All.

But My Desires The Ball Refuses,

And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,

And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.

Often It Will Have A Whim,

To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,

It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.

Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,

If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,

And Swear That I Will Give It Up.

And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,

But The Ball Knows ... …I'll Be Back Tomorrow.

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls....

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud………… Almost feel like a hybrid.
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