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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infideli      Home login  
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 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 1
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelityPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Time to stir up some controversy

Let's discuss this. Who believes that infidelity is balanced across all walks of life? Who thinks that it is more rampant in certain races? Who thinks that the wealth of a person contributes to this? How about their upbringing?

In my opinion (and please respect it like a civilized human), I've seen firsthand from experience that liberal cultures are more forward with pursuing affairs. These individuals justify it by saying things like:
"If I see something better, why not go for it?"
"I wasn't happy in my relationship anyways so that's why I did it."
"Oh we were already going to break up."
"It was only sex, not love."
I find these individuals do not feel much guilt (maybe a little) but they are able to justify their action accordingly.

Now, I've also seen the same thing happen with traditional people but it's a little bit different. They usually are conservative but from experience, I find they are easier to "break" due to self-esteem issues? The traditional ones are the ones that feel alot of guilt after pursuing such a thing and deeply regret it. They cannot justify their action (generally) and blame themselves.

As for wealth. I find the "richer' someone else, the more likely they are to cheat versus someone who is "poorer". The opportunity for meeting others is increased in higher-income individuals versus lower (obviously). The temptations that come with being rich and having people "flirt" more towards you are increased. I think that's why richer people (from my experience) are more prone to infidelity.

Education also is a factor in this. However this one is a bit more interesting. I find that in technical fields of study (ie. doctors, engineers, scientists), the chance of someone cheating is much lower than in fields of business (ie. marketing, management, executives). I believe it has something to do with power level. In a business oriented position, one is trained to be assertive and have control over employees/projects/programs. That mentality creates a "I-must-have-this" agenda for anything that individual desires. I mean, how many times have we heard of the story of the boss sleeping with secretary? Compare that with more technical fields of education. Obviously, (I'm not degrading people with business degrees don't get me wrong) one with a technical field of education is generally more intelligent than one with a business degree. They see the worth in a relationship much more than a business-person. There are numerous studies on this already so I won't go in-depth but basically business-people are more likely to cheat (out of all the professions).

Now, I'm not trashing people that are unfaithful. This is not a debate about whether cheating is wrong or right (let's leave that topic to the countless other ones on this forum). This is a dicussion about whether or not certain factors contribute to infidelity. I could care less if you cheated on your husband/wife/boy/girlfriend, that's your issue and not mine.

Discuss. This should be a very interesting topic.

PS: If you take offense to my posting, then out of my own opinion, I will label you as a cheater or someone who has cheated in the past. There is no need to take offense to my opinion, the only reason you take offense is if it attacks something that you did which you feel guilty of. If this post is voted for deletion, I'll also denigrate that person as being a cheater. In my humble opinion of course. Respect me and I'll respect you, that's all I ask. Speak down to me, and I'll tear you to pieces.
 pamsfl
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 2
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 2:11:30 PM
I believe that studies have shown a relationship between cheating and education/wealth...being that more educated people are usually in professions that provide them not only wealth, but circumstance.

As Tiger stated, there is some kind of sense of "entitlement" that comes along with great wealth. Also, a business executive typically has travel associated with his job. If a man is far away from home and given the opportunity to cheat...well, is he really gonna say no? I'm not saying all men would cheat in this scenario, I'm just saying that a man who thinks he won't ever get caught and has an opportunity in front of him probably has a higher chance than someone else.
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 3
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 2:16:11 PM
I agree with you pamsfl. Distance does contribute IN ADDITION to the profession. I think certain professions contribute to higher chance of infidelity. So in addition to my previous statements, I will say not necessarily rich but also if your profession gives you a sense of superiority such that you have control over something significant (preferably people). This control forms a mindset in that individual to "get-what-they-want".

Also, for the person that voted for deletion. I hope your signficant other finds out you've been sleeping with their best friend and cousin. I'd like to see that Jerry Springer drama unfold for my own entertainment and amusement.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 4
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 2:33:58 PM
personally I value loyalty! To me it is more important then infidelity. (yes they are two very seperate things)

I dont think it has anything to do with Culture, Social class, or Upbringing. I think it has to do with personal growth, how you view certain situations and what you really need in your life.
There are several reasons why people need to do what they do. Each should be viewed as individual cases. Not by how much someone earns or if they came from a broken family.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 5
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 2:38:21 PM
cheating, is very common, i read the stats, 47% of north american women cheat, 37% of men cheat,
i do not agree that there is any difference between rich or poor, or race, and culture
its just the facts of life in the 21st century
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 6
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 2:39:05 PM
Yes of course. I have some close friends that came from "broken families" but they are the most loyal people I know. What I speak of is a general trend I see from experience (and of course from the media).
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 7
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 2:40:15 PM
" cheating, is very common, i read the stats, 47% of north american women cheat, 37% of men cheat,
i do not agree that there is any difference between rich or poor, or race, and culture
its just the facts of life in the 21st century "

I didn't know that wow. I would have guessed more men cheat. Really puts the saying of "men are pigs" in perspective
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 10
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 3:43:57 PM

cheating, is very common, i read the stats, 47% of north american women cheat, 37% of men cheat,
i do not agree that there is any difference between rich or poor, or race, and culture
its just the facts of life in the 21st century
Perhaps you could point us to where you garnered those stats ..

Interestingly enough: USA has the highest rate of infidelity per capita .. perhaps its due to that sense of entitlement that's bantered around as a reason.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 11
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 4:12:39 PM
Well let me burst your bubble because I have never cheated nor to my knowledge been with anyone that has cheated and I think your reasoning is highly flawed and based on whatever small section of the population you have observed. If people in business are more likely to cheat it is because of the way they are oriented as a person and the field they are in matters from the scientific, because of the field and their focus on the non-human, so lumping doctors in there, when so many cheat with nurses throughout their careers, is somewhat lame. Business is all about relationships even when someone appears totally numbers oriented.

Um, and your traditional thing? Makes no sense because you yourself said the common denominator is self-esteem. People from traditional backgrounds tend to be more faithful because they have an extensive family network and divorce is frowned-upon.

Your post is not particularly offensive but it is also not remotely illuminating.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 12
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 4:33:41 PM

Who believes that infidelity is balanced across all walks of life?

I very strongly agree with this statement.


How about their upbringing?

I agree with this statement.

Monkey see monkey do.


I'll tear you to pieces.


Hmmmmm I hear violence is a lot like cheating..monkey see monkey do..
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 13
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 5:05:36 PM
Personally, I'd be more worried about what someone does with their heart than their body. Do I think someone will cheat? Yes, it's always a possibility but at the end of the day if the person goes home with me then I'm the winner.

A friend once came to me with a problem. He said, "My wife and I go to these parties and I see men laughing and having a great time with her. It kills me when this happens". I said, "Your wife laughs with a couple of guys and then goes home with you? Dude, who's the winner and who's the loser here? The guy gets your wife for under an hour while you get her 24/7".

Bottom line, you can't stop someone from cheating and it doesn't matter why it happens. What matters is whether YOU are happy or not, period.

If you are asking what causes it, the answer is that it is situational rather than educational, monetary or cultural. More people cheat within a class cheat because cheating is more available in that class e.g. the world class tennis player is offered it every day why wouldn't he accept it.
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 14
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 5:17:18 PM

Um, can I "object" without being labelled a cheater because I think it's not a logical premise?

You see, since you're basing it on firsthand observance, I don't see how you can possibly know who's cheating and who's not. You only know for sure those individual cases in which someone either admits to it or has been caught doing so. We all superficially encounter thousands of people from all cultures, social classes and upbringings in our daily lives, but we don't get to know anything about their personal lives.

Or perhaps I'm misinterpreting. When you say firsthand experience, are you talking about having read indepth studies on the issue? If so, and if they're varied and scholarly, I'd be more prone to believe there's something to the ideas you've stated. Can you please clarify.


You're free to object. But don't take offense to it is all I ask. Objections and agreements are all part of a healthy discussion. I simply stated if someone finds my post inflammatory (even though it isn't), then that means that person has deeper rooted issues with what I have presented.
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 15
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 5:59:28 PM

Hey! This thread is stupid. Whatever reaction you have to my post means you have deeper-rooted issues with being stupid.


if someone finds my post inflammatory (even though it isn't


Oh, is that why you started off with 'Let's stir up some controversy'?


Keep on topic please. No trolling.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 16
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 8:00:11 PM
Too bad you added the petty bit at the end of your post, OP, it turns an otherwise thoughtful post into a snotty diatribe.
I agree with Spoken For, who points out how cautious one must be with ALL published "studies", and commentaries on "studies." To have any validity at all, a polling nof people has to have a GREAT deal of side work done to sort out the level of truthfulness of the participants.
How is "cheating " defined in the polls you saw that said more women cheat than men? What were the age groups? How were the questions phrased?
Anyway, I have SUSPICIONS myself that there are big cultural differences. How exactly that works out is tricky...for example, in the D.C. area, some groups appear to more openly TALK about the fact that they are cheating than others. That doesn't mean they cheat more. The term LIBERAL was used in the post, and that term has never had a definite definition, especially here in the States: Republicans like to pretend it means "communist-tending selfish welfare sucking treasonous lazy people who want others to pay their way." Democrats have been avoiding the term, and it has also been associated with very SEVERELY restrictive groups, who want to run EVERYONE'S lives differently than they run them themselves. From what I've witnessed, there are certainly at LEAST as many "Conservative" cheaters in the public eye as there are "Liberal" ones. The only difference I've noticed, is that the Conservatives are slightly better at covering their tracks, and maybe a TWEEK better at getting the wronged spouse to pretend to want to get back together with them.
You have to watch out for "rich" people appearing to cheat more than the not-so-rich, since they will end up in the news when they are caught, but the average peasant wont garner a single word, unless they manage to cheat in a particularly spectacular way.
Technical people? Less cheating? Hard to say. Of the cheaters and failed marriages I've witnessed, there have been technicians, doctors, salesmen and women, housewives, clerics, and on and on.
I've heard lots of excuses about it. A sense of entitlement is the most common one (as in "I DESERVE to have a wonderful sex life, and he/she wont give it to me"), but that isn't tied to any sub group from what I can tell.
That points up another thing to look out for: the EXCUSES people give for any misbehavior are rarely, if ever illuminating about the misbehavior itself. I ascribe this to the fact that people do what they want, and then explain it using whatever words are most handy, from what they've heard from others, or in movies.
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 17
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 8:25:26 PM
Both men and women who cheat do it for one or more of the following reasons;
1) have a low IQ
2) have low self confidence and self- esteem
3) do it to somehow "get back" at a SO in a passive agressive behavior
4) don't think they'll get caught
5) are depressed or going through a life crisis whether it's personal, financial and find a certain short lived escape.
6) are the types who carry pent up angers and frustrations with feelings of inadequecies.
7) are short sighted individuals who can't comprehend the long term affect their actions will have on their and their SO's lives. (a part of the low IQ)

If you notice these are all negative reasons. I've rarely heard a cheater say, I did it because I "love" him or her, and if they did, the love died really quickly when reality set in. Don't believe it has much to do with money or status. There are stupid people in all wakes of life.
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 18
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 9:05:10 PM
1) have a low IQ
2) have low self confidence and self- esteem
3) do it to somehow "get back" at a SO in a passive agressive behavior
4) don't think they'll get caught
5) are depressed or going through a life crisis whether it's personal, financial and find a certain short lived escape.
6) are the types who carry pent up angers and frustrations with feelings of inadequecies.
7) are short sighted individuals who can't comprehend the long term affect their actions will have on their and their SO's lives. (a part of the low IQ)


Pfft... I have read this too, but such articles seem incapable of citing a credible source to back up a statistic that they never disclose.

I think infidelity has more to do with a person's moral compass as it relates to a committed relationship, than any of the other reasons that have been previously stated.

I think a person's moral compass can be shaped by the reasons stated, but it is still an individual choice that lies outside the scope of any generalization that could possibly be made. JMO.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 19
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 8:13:34 AM
I don't think there is much research to support or contradict the OP's idea. However, opportunity is probably the greatest contributing factor, and may provide temptation to those who wouldn't normally cheat.


The office is the most popular place for illicit affairs to start. According to one study, 62 per cent of married men and 46 per cent of married women have strayed with lovers they met through work.

The age group most likely to have an affair are the over-50s – nearly a third of whom admitted jumping into bed with someone they shouldn't, in a study of over 13,000 people of all ages. This compared with 23 per cent of 30- to 40-year-olds, and 14 per cent of under-30s.

Recruitment workers are, for some reason, more likely to cheat on their partners than members of any other profession. Some 40 per cent admitted to having cheated in a recent study, putting them ahead of truckers and travel agents in the unfaithfulness stakes. Altogether, a quarter of the 2,500 workers surveyed admitted to having been unfaithful.

This figure pales into insignificance, however, compared with the Durex Global Sex Survey's finding that 44 per cent of adults worldwide had had one-night extramarital sex and that 22 per cent had had an affair.


The facts of life: infidelity / http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/infidelity/the-facts-of-life-infidelity-936469.html
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 20
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 11:57:32 AM
Wishes Granted ,

Your message (Msg 16) stated:
"Interestingly enough: USA has the highest rate of infidelity per capita .. perhaps its due to that sense of entitlement that's bantered around as a reason.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate "

Uh...that's divorce rate per capita not infidelity per capita..Do you have a better stat to back up your statement?
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 21
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 12:17:17 PM
smarts and heart stated:
"Both men and women who cheat do it for one or more of the following reasons;
1) have a low IQ "

- I doubt someone like Tiger Woods has a low IQ

"2) have low self confidence and self- esteem"

- I disagree about the low self-confidence. Again I use Tiger Woods as an example. He allegedly got all those mistresses because he had 'low self-confidence?' I doubt that.
- I agree a person MAY have self-esteem issues, but I'm not sure ALL do

"3) do it to somehow "get back" at a SO in a passive agressive behavior"

- Maybe...and maybe the cheater feels he/she are not getting the loving they need in their relationship but do not want to break up because of financial reasons, children, etc.

"4) don't think they'll get caught"

- I agree but also SOME cheaters might like the thrill of the risk of getting caught

"5) are depressed or going through a life crisis whether it's personal, financial and find a certain short lived escape."

- I agree--could be or again, they may like to be poly. I think it depends on the individual

"6) are the types who carry pent up angers and frustrations with feelings of inadequecies."

- Maybe, maybe not..certainly not ALL cheaters carry pent up anger/frustration

"7) are short sighted individuals who can't comprehend the long term affect their actions will have on their and their SO's lives. (a part of the low IQ)"

I agree except the low IQ part.

"If you notice these are all negative reasons. I've rarely heard a cheater say, I did it because I "love" him or her, and if they did, the love died really quickly when reality set in. Don't believe it has much to do with money or status. There are stupid people in all wakes of life."

I agree with what you said except your opinion of calling cheaters stupid. Unless you have cheated yourself and walked in their shoes (situation) and know the reason why a specific person cheats, your comment is pretty ignorant. There are MANY reasons a person cheats. You may not agree with ANYONE cheating, but you begin to look high and mighty when you make morality statements like that.



***Edit: I do not want to give the impression that cheating is okay--It's not, but there are reason it happens and it does have to do with their moral compass.***
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 22
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 12:24:04 PM

Your message (Msg 16) stated:
"Interestingly enough: USA has the highest rate of infidelity per capita .. perhaps its due to that sense of entitlement that's bantered around as a reason.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate "

Uh...that's divorce rate per capita not infidelity per capita..Do you have a better stat to back up your statement?
My bad.. *apologizes* however; here are some other stats that show just how much infidelity is occurring...

http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html


>Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53%

>Percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41%

>Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74%

>Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 68%

Makes one wonder if monogamous marriage is on it's way out?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 23
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 1:10:46 PM
No, I do not agree with the your findings 'I find' is not fact.
Flame away kid.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 24
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 1:22:57 PM

As for wealth. I find the "richer' someone else, the more likely they are to cheat versus someone who is "poorer".



I'm sorry, rich, poor, gay, straight, young, old, black, white, asian, spanish, norweigian, smart, dumb, clubhoppers, homebodies, all have cheaters among them.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 26
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 1:56:54 PM
i think its a matter a lot of upbringing more than anything.

did your parents cheat on each other?

other family members?

what did you grow up around ???

was it accepted as part of your subculture/family?

was it considered an entitlement that you are supposed to be able to cheat on your spouse if you so desire...

these things are very important....
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 27
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Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 3:36:00 PM

I simply stated if someone finds my post inflammatory (even though it isn't), then that means that person has deeper rooted issues with what I have presented.


inflammatory? no.

silly? absolutely.
 Super_Eve
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 29
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 6:47:09 PM

Maybe smart men don't admit to cheating because they don't get caught as easily as "not smart" men.


Ha ha, Sexiest, you might be on to something there!


Dr Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist from the London School of Economics and Political Science, said the smarter a man is, the less likely he is to cheat on his partner.


The same man who said, "attractive people are 26% less likely to have male offspring." The man has yet to publish a paper that has passed peer review, since his "findings" are based on a biased premise and the causal factoring doesn't add up. He also said women are far less likely to cheat, since we are biologically programmed for monogamy.

I think he is really just trying to say boys are almost as smart girls but not quite. Fuking chauvinist.
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