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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!      Home login  
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 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 1
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I'm talking to this woman and we seem to be clicking over the phone. So we talk about meeting up seeing how we react to each other in person. Well this is when the conversation for me started to go downhill.

As we are talking, she states how a man has only 30 mins to Impress her or else she moves on. Well she said that, it sort of made me step back and wonder if I should even go to meet up with her.

Someone with a time limit on date like that probably won't be worth going to me in the first place.

It's just one of the few things about her that is making me rethink actually going to meet her.

So if a person said that to you, would still consider going to meet them? Or would just say No Thanks?
 ChocolateNutt
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 2
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:04:07 AM
Well what I think she really means is that she knows in 30 minutes whether that person is appealing to her or not, which is fair enough.

The fact that she worded it the way she did (or worse really meant it the way she worded it), tells me that she doesn't have a lot of sensitivity to the other person's feelings. I would reply (and have) that I have no intention of impressing anyone. He (or in your case, she) can like me or not but it should be because of who I am not because I put on a show to impress him. Plenty of fish in the sea after all.

Nutt
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 3
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:14:07 AM
Well I can understand seeing if you find a person appealing or not, but it's just the time limit part that is getting to me. Why do I or any Man that she dates have only 30 mins to Impress her.

The way i see it, is that she going into looking for you to fail and the only way to keep that from happening is to Impress her.

It's all silly to me.
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 4
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:17:56 AM
I'm not sure which response I'd use:
1. How impressed would you be if I saved you 30 minutes of your time, or
2. You went through 30 minutes of my time in only 10 seconds.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 5
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:21:42 AM

The way i see it, is that she going into looking for you to fail and the only way to keep that from happening is to Impress her.
did she actually use the words "impress her.?" Or , did she say it in other words and you've just interpretted it as that way?
I know within 30 mins. if I'd like to see someone again.. Afterall that's what the coffee meet was invented for in my opinion .. But, I give myself much longer than that to be "impressed."

It's all silly to me.
then you have your answer. Tell her after careful thought you realize that you don't have much in common with her and wish her well..
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 6
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:31:35 AM
I don't think it has anything to do with smart or not smart. Just different philosophies on how honest vs "diplomatic" you are when you are talking to someone to get to know them. It sounds like if that offended the op, then you two are not a good match, and will have many misunderstandings in the future. I personally would rather be with someone who just speaks their mind, rather than being with someone who keeps things to themselves to avoid conflict. If everyone is agreeing that it's true for them as well, but that she shouldn't say it out loud, it's just that she doesn't put up a wall at first that you have to break through by spending a lot of time with that person. She's more of a communicator.

If it made you self-conscious/insecure about the first meet, that is just how you feel. That is up to you, and it's understandable. But if you don't accept that this is what really happens with everyone anyway, when you are dating, then I think you will just have trouble with anyone. Yes, essentially, a man can impress a woman in the first 30 minutes or not. They can blow it in 30 seconds too. Or they can wow her with something in 3 seconds in the beginning that will make the rest of the date go smoothly. Is this something that should be judged as a good characteristic or not? I don't think so. I think it's just the way dating is.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 7
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:32:25 AM

did she actually use the words "impress her.?" Or , did she say it in other words and you've just interpretted it as that way?
I know within 30 mins. if I'd like to see someone again.. But, I give myself much longer than that to be "impressed." Afterall that's what the coffee meet was invented for in my opinion.


Yes she used that exact phrase. Well the conversation over the phone has been good so far, but then when she said that, it just struck me as wrong. Sure I think a lot of people know if they like a person in under 30 mins.

But it's this whole 30 mins to Impress her. To me it makes her sounds like she's some sort of princess and looking for a man to sweep off her feet and take her away from her dull and boring life.

That's the way I see it.
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 8
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:38:37 AM
I hear you, OP!
I've read similar requests in profiles: "First date? Impress me," or some similar challenge.
My response: "Not even going to try."
As others have said, it's something many of us think, but would never say, like, "If you have a fat slab that smacks my back while we're forking doggy style, forget it."

\/\/edit:

Maybe she sets a time limit because prior she put too much time into getting to know a guy and found out it was a waste of time (due to his games or lies).

You could ask her why she sets a time limit.

Everyone has a time limit. That's not the point.
The implication is that the person saying it thinks their an automatic catch, not needing to do any of the impressing themselves.
That's unattractive conceit.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 9
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:41:12 AM

If it made you self-conscious/insecure about the first meet, that is just how you feel. That is up to you, and it's understandable. But if you don't accept that this is what really happens with everyone anyway, when you are dating, then I think you will just have trouble with anyone. Yes, essentially, a man can impress a woman in the first 30 minutes or not. They can blow it in 30 seconds too. Or they can wow her with something in 3 seconds in the beginning that will make the rest of the date go smoothly. Is this something that should be judged as a good characteristic or not? I don't think so. I think it's just the way dating is.


Well I don't have any problem dating and I usually don't ask a woman about her dating history. it didn'y make me insecure or self-conscious as you say. Never had any problems getting second dates. So that's not an issue for me.

Well I think the 30 mins rule is good if you are wanting have sex that same night. Knowing if the guy might not kill you if he gets you alone of something like that. But to truly "Impress" someone takes a lot longer.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 10
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:43:08 AM
this is how I see it: She's been doing this online dating thing for a while and she knows what she likes and what she doesn't.. She's now become quite comfortable with letting men know that she'll know within the first 30 minutes if she'd want to spend more time with them. I also see her as not wanting you to actually TRY to impress her, but by you simply being you (yourself) she'll know quite early into the meet.

I don't see her as the "princess" type. I see her as knowing herself and letting you know that she has no intention of leading you on in anyway if she's not feeling it. That's a good thing and I think more online daters should be as upfront.

Now, if she means by "impress" her that you do so with fancy restaurants, expensive wine and an astronomical food bill at the end of the evening.. then yes, she's a "princess."

IMO, of course..
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 11
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:44:59 AM


I hear you, OP!
I've read similar requests in profiles: "First date? Impress me," or some similar challenge.
My response: "Not even going to try."
As others have said, it's something many of us think, but would never say, like, "If you have a fat slab that smacks my back while we're forking doggy style, forget it."


You hit it on ther head. That was the word I was looking for. It makes it seem more like a challenge than an actual date. Sure I can Impress you, but I would think that by talking to you on the phone at least you know that I can hold a decent conversation and you enjoy chatting with me.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 12
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:50:40 AM

I don't see her as the "princess" type. I see her as knowing herself and letting you know that she has no intention of leading you on in anyway if she's not feeling it. That's a good thing and I think more online daters should be as upfront.

Now, if she means by "impress" her that you do so with fancy restaurants, expensive wine and an astronomical food bill at the end of the evening.. then yes, she's a "princess."


Well maybe princess was too strong of a word. She has been doing this online dating thing for a while. But I think she's going about it all the wrong way.


this is how I see it: She's been doing this online dating thing for a while and she knows what she likes and what she doesn't.. She's now become quite comfortable with letting men know that she'll know within the first 30 minutes if she'd want to spend more time with them. I also see her as not wanting you to actually TRY to impress her, but by you simply being you (yourself) she'll know quite early into the meet.


Well maybe you are right about that. I don't know. During our conversations, it seems like she's been picking the wrong men and from that point I can sort of see her doing the Impress Me bit.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 13
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:56:16 AM
As we are talking, she states how a man has only 30 mins to Impress her or else she moves on. Well she said that, it sort of made me step back and wonder if I should even go to meet up with her.

You should have told her that having sex would normally take you longer than 30 minutes, but you would try to hurry.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 14
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:57:09 AM
That's fine. Now, do you want a positive impression, or a negative one? However, since you just made a negative impression on me, I should probably respond in kind. Good-bye!
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 15
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:58:01 AM
Your thread reminded me of the show Millionare matchmaker, that is the attitude of the men there, the women just throw themselves at the "millionare" men, who in most cases are insufferable jerks, the wealthy men get to ask questions like : are you a whore? or has anybody called you a spinner? and the women just giggle because they want to go on the private jet for a date.

It is a good example of how a society decays, and anybody can watch , right on the tv set.

I don't think men or women should have to do monkey tricks to impress the other.
If someobody was to say that to me on the phone they would hear a "click" as an answer.
Ask her if she has a private jet and where is she taking you for the day, maybe is worth it! kidding!

 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 16
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:03:02 PM
I agree with some of the posts in here.
Most people know pretty quickly when they first
meet someone whether or not they like them and in the
case of a relationship prospect, whether or not they can
see themselves with this person.

Most people, however, do not say this out loud,
especially with a time limit. I'd be hard pressed to even
know someone like this because I would think if they were
comfortable enough to say something this off the wall to me
when they didn't know me...I wonder what the heck they would
be like when they did know me?

Unfortunately, I've found that first impressions are usually on
the mark. You might be able to wiggle around them a little bit,
but in the end, you'll remember what happened...and think oh yeah,
I should have seen that coming.

 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 17
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:05:57 PM
I agree with Wolf tx...I think you're over analyzing. I can completely see this being said as both parties discuss their respective dating styles.

The truth is that anyone's standard MO is always open to modifications...if warranted...meaning if on meeting someone for a first meet or coffee meet resulted in a little mini-explosion of reciprocated interest...the time thing goes straight out the window. All of us have our MO's...she's just been up front about hers. Would you spend a heck of a lot of time on a first meet if you weren't interested?

Also, I kind of associate this statement of hers being said (by me anyway...), in a kind of playful flirty fashion....any chance you misread how it was coming across?

on edit to add:

You should have told her that having sex would normally take you longer than 30 minutes, but you would try to hurry.

^^^hilarious!
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 18
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:06:14 PM
That's a riot...her majesty will grant you 30 minutes to see if you are worthy...

Perhaps it just came out wrong OP. It sounds awfully haughty...but I don't like to make the first meet & greet planned for any longer than that myself. If there is mutually expressed interest - it can be extended (I don't have plans for after)...and if one expresses interest and the other isn't interested - you have the excuse of saying, I have this that or the other planned.

I don't see any point in beating someone over the head with the fact that I may not like them in person. It should be obvious, and should not be phrased that way!
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 19
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:11:03 PM
the 30 minute thing is fine. i'd have no problem if someone said that, because if we're not clicking, that time frame works for me too. if we are clicking, the arbitrary time limit will go out the window anyway. (edit: honest, sweetest, i didn't read yours first!)

but this young lady has forgotten (or never learned) the sale is never closed before it's negotiated.

language and expression and communication are so ironic and maddening and wonderful. truth is, we all want the other person to be impressed, even if it's just a tiny bit, even if we ourselves are not impressed with them. but to come out and SAY it beforehand sends such a negative message. hey, you jockeyed for the dominant position! hey, you stuck a pin in my pride! hey, you triggered a whole bunch of other issues! you're history!
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 20
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:13:35 PM

The truth is that anyone's standard MO is always open to modifications...if warranted...meaning if on meeting someone for a first meet or coffee meet resulted in a little mini-explosion of reciprocated interest...the time thing goes straight out the window. All of us have our MO's...she's just been up front about hers. Would you spend a heck of a lot of time on a first meet if you weren't interested?


Well she was pretty clear about 30 mins. She said that was all that any man had to Impress her.

As far as spending time with someone I wasn't interested in, that would be normal if I hadn't spent hardly anytime talking to them. But if I talk to you on the phone for a hr or 2 for few days, then that is different.
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 21
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:22:44 PM

Maybe she's encountered many guys who she has spent quite a bit of time chatting with only to find out they're jerks, so she decided to set a time limit.

you already said that. earlier. remember? post 18?

Maybe she sets a time limit because prior she put too much time into getting to know a guy and found out it was a waste of time (due to his games or lies).
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 22
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:24:45 PM

Maybe she's encountered many guys who she has spent quite a bit of time chatting with only to find out they're jerks, so she decided to set a time limit.


Well I thought that as well, but then she still said that I would I have 30 mins to Impress her as well. I said but we click so well on the phone and she said that no man gets an exemption. Not even me. LOL.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 23
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:25:31 PM
"So if a person said that to you, would still consider going to meet them? Or would just say No Thanks?"

Maybe she suffers of aspergers
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 24
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You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:32:34 PM

Yes she is either a proper little madam who thinks the world revolves around her, or she worded it wrong and meant-it takes her half an hour for a first impression on someone.
All I know is-you didn't need half an hour to have doubts about this woman as a person.


Well you are right, I didn't need a half hour for that, but then again she wouldn't move for the 30 min thing and that what is making me have the doubts.



in fact she outta keep her big trap shut about it. there is no need for her to create unnecessary tension and pressure. thats setting herself up for failure. hmmmmm maybe thats part of her deal. maybe she likes to sabotage herself.


I totally agree with you here. I see it as going into the meeting looking or wanting it to fail. I would rather go and just have some fun with us being ourselves with no pressure.


anyway if you kinda like her, WTF go on and meet her. maybe she was jsut stupidly tactless and in person she will be less uptight about it. if shes a loser then what the hell? you didnt lose anything by meeting her. who cares?


Well yeah, but if I was to look at it from her p.o.v. , shouldn't she try to Impress me in 30 mins as well?
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 25
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 12:32:55 PM

Everyone has a time limit. That's not the point.
The implication is that the person saying it thinks their an automatic catch, not needing to do any of the impressing themselves.
That's unattractive conceit.

Exactly.

Op Ever whip out the saber sword and ask if that's impressive enough?

Not that one, the antique one great Uncle Harold got from the war..silly

Pulease..Move on..she is all about her.

One of my first pof contacts did say something similar..no time frame..I'm going excuse me?..You want a run down of why you should pick me... pick me?

I don't think so. I am not a doggy in the window to do tricks for you.
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