Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Man is not contacting as often...what gives?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
When you told him you couldn't see him the next weekend, did you offer an alternative plan? He may have mistaken your prior plans as a blow off. Of course you should stick with the plans you had - but make sure he knows you're interested by trying to make alternate plans.

I'd call him and try to make plans. If he's not interested from the meet and isn't saying, it's a good way to find out for sure.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/20/2010 8:54:04 PM
1 meet and all these rules and expectations???
You sound very high maintenance to me.

Anyone that's needs daily reassurances of interest just sound to "needy" for my taste.
 softy63
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 12
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/20/2010 9:20:42 PM

I do have expectations for the men I date......I'm pretty up front about it. If they don't want to hear my voice before they go to bed at night, especially this early on, then I won't be compatible with them.


You've only been on one date and you have expectations already?
Maybe he was tired when you texted him.
Maybe he didnt get your text.
Maybe he was out somewhere.
Maybe he was driving and couldn't reply.
Maybe he had a bad day and wasnt in the mood to talk.
Maybe he left his phone at work.
Maybe his phone was flat or he had no credit on it.

sorry OP, but to me it seems you have scared him off with your expectations.

As you said......keep looking but perhaps think about not being so demanding.

all the best to you. xx
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/20/2010 10:52:21 PM
Gee.. for someone who doesn't like pursuing you're certainly doing a lot of it. You're placing so much energy into this man already you've "stooped" to sending first contact.

You're freaking me out just by reading your posts.. You sound almost frantic.

May I suggest you step back, breathe and relax your mind.. so that it can process the fact that IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE DATE!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/21/2010 7:37:01 AM
Wow! I should keep these posts in a text box somewhere. ONE date, and the OP has analyzed herself into dumping him, while SAYING that she really wants to see him again. I'll hang onto this for script writing material. I'd love to see the dating tips book she'd write.
If it were I who were the guy, what I'd "make of this distance" is that is is INSUFFICIENT.
 I-am-Rei
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 25
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/21/2010 8:43:34 AM

I feel like after only 1 date, I don't want to be pursuing.....it is so unattractive for a woman to chase down a man so early on.

Maybe he was thinking the same way as you? Or maybe he was thinking that since you will meet on Saturday so there's no need for constant texting and wants to reserve it all during your 2nd date? Just call to confirm your Saturday date and wait and see what happens next. You are not yet girlfriend-boyfriend anyway so don't panic.

 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 27
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/21/2010 11:05:03 AM

Ok, here is the ugly truth.... He didn't like what he saw when you guys met up or there wasn't any chemistry. If a guy is into you he will call. He will schedule a date and he will make sure to respond to your texts or phone calls.
He never had any issues with texting or calling before, now did he?



I have to agree with this. I think he felt lukewarm about the OP after meeting her, and just wants to keep her on the backburner in case he doesn't get a better offer.
 DragNFlyBuzzez
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/21/2010 4:53:51 PM
wow..................................just wow
poor guy, he was Told he had to pursue you, he has a second date for Saturday but he isn't stroking your ego or texting you all the time, after one date????

and double Wow..............he is a married drunk............kick his ass to curb before the second date.........

the more I read these threads...............I cannot believe all this negative advice and opinion.
i'm not a texter, I work 10-12 hrs aday...................he could be going, don't rush it, don't be tooo eager, give her some mystery............

What a bunch of jaded people............

OP, go read a romance novel and take your mind away of ALL the bad things, go on the date Saturday and see how it goes, your dating............its your second date!!!!!!

Best of Luck..............is it a full moon this week?
 marisia
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 34
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/27/2010 5:20:04 AM
Perhaps he doesn't want to disturb you as you said you would be busy this week . Message to short.xxxx"" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. . Message to short.message to short.
Message to short.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 38
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/29/2010 5:55:19 AM
Nothing is wrong here... He is giving you some space to think. Communication naturally drops off a little after you meet someone in person, go on the next date.
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 5/2/2010 8:30:55 AM
Geez....why the all the pressure and thinking everything has to fall perfectly into place after just one meet? What, are all your dates on some strict timeline? Stop being so obsessive and controlling about it and just go with the flow. Things will either happen, or they won't. Really no biggie for very little time invested. Your post does come off as being somewhat desperate and needy for attention. Guys pickup on that, and usually will disappear quickly.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 41
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 5/4/2010 11:25:04 AM
OP- if i ask a woman out, either the first time or for the 2nd date (ie, before we've established that we are at least "dating") and you tell me know, because of "this that or the other " and do not propose an alternative date.

you're telling me you're not that interested.

so ya, i'd make you chase me at that point.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 43
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 9/12/2010 7:45:58 PM
"We talked for 3 weeks before we met. He texted me every morning and every night, and we talked at least 2 hours every night"

Talked at least 2 hours every night....I talk to men, too. Three weeks, two hours a night....I can think about what two literal strangers with a perhaps, maybe potential interest may have to talk about.

Here's the hook, it's the delusion that you "know" each other, you don't you "know" what you've each told each other about yourselves. So you met, and lots of heavy petting but no sex. So you're intimate...doesn't have to mean sexual contact, with a complete stranger you met for the first time because you racked up a lot of phone time?

You don't KNOW this man, he doesn't KNOW you. Burning up the phone lines does not equal knowing. I've had long conversations, sometimes into hours, but if it is, it's usually about a common interest that we share. Business, writing or sports, if you're not talking about common interests, then well sweetie I know how and what you talk about with a complete stranger for 2 hours a night for 3 weeks. It's NOT about business, writing or sports, I could guess but it'd be more appropriate on the Sex and Dating Forum.

For me, those conversations are very short, it could start with a common interest, but wait for it...I tell myself, it seems to go to the inevitable...so do you have any more pictures, how big are your boobs....it's so predictable.

That's why the first time you met, it was a makeout session, he wasn't interested in getting to know you he was looking for a hookup. Lord knows what you may have said to fuel his interest, but you didn't "deliver".

You got him right there and sent him home with blue balls...pardon the expression, just being honest.

Why the heck would you do that, consider it rhetorical, but I wonder how much you know about men.

Just for kicks, try talking to him for 3 weeks, 2 hours a night about your interests...anything but...what I'd guess you've been talking about. It's not rocket science, if someone wants to get to know you, then it'll be obvious when after about 15 minutes, they're distracted if you aren't talking sexual, about what position is your favorite...blah blah. His interest in you wasn't in you as a person or a woman, he was looking for a hookup, to get off, and you talked to him about something to make him expect that's what would happen.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Man is not contacting as often...what gives?