Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > 4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 goodxsahead
Joined: 8/16/2009
Msg: 1
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Guys: 4 Small Moves That Score Big
Chicks love over-the-top gestures, but you can't spend your life standing outside her window, holding a boom box over your head. These acts require minimal effort yet will make her very happy.


1.. Send a Random Text
You know how your girlfriend types you those "Just saying hi!" messages? Well, she wants you to hit her back with a few too. "Women need frequent communication to feel a relationship is strong," explains Scott Kudia, Phd, author of If This Is Love, Why Am I Unhappy? So text her when you see something that reminds you of her or e-mail her a one-liner like "How's your day?" oh, and if you're wondering, booty-call texts sent between midnight and 4 a.m. do not count.

Also check out:

What she notices 5 minutes after you meet
Wow her, then win her
2. Get Girlie With Her
Believe it or not, your girlfriend probably isn't sitting by your side watching SportsCenter because she's dying to see highlights of the Bobcats/Thunder game. She does stuff like that because she wants to spend time with you - and she'd love it if you returned the favor. That means doing things like going shopping without pouting the whole time or dozing off in one of those massage chairs. "making small sacrifices shows her that you're a team player and her happiness is a priority," says Carol Bruess, PhD, coauthor of What Happy Couples Do.

3. Share Your Space
If you're not quite ready to clear out dresser or closet space for her, let her know she's welcome at your place in smaller—yet still significant—ways. Stock her favorite soda in the fridge or suggest she stash a hair dryer under your bathroom sink. "not only does it show that you're committed, but it also lets her know that you're sensitive toand can anticipate—her needs," Kudia says.

4. Sharpen Your Memory
Women place a premium on a guy's ability to recall details about their relationship. "The quirkier, the better," Bruess explains. Remembering the location of your first date won't impress her—in fact, not remembering will piss her off—but you can earn major points by celebrating a goofy-but-sweet milestone, like the six-month anniversary of the first time you cooked her dinner. (This time, try not to involve the fire
 Mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 2
view profile
History
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/25/2010 8:33:23 AM
Guys, read this and pay attention. This is very sound advice, and it's rare to see a woman put up things like that.
 WaywardWynde
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 3
view profile
History
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/25/2010 10:15:05 AM
There are tens of thousands of "Here's How You Do It" books published in the last century. Most "sound good" at least long enough to get one to spend their money on the book. However, such books which go into a second printing are few and far between. Books still in print ten years later are almost non-existent.

Men and women haven't changed an iota biologically in the last several millenia. When advice is good, it is passed down again and again and again and again. When it is "pop culture du jour", it is gone before last year's fashion.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 4
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/25/2010 10:38:10 AM
That's great advice for typical women, but really bad advice for women like myself who don't particularly care about or respond to any of those things. Luckily for you though guys, my type is so rare that it's a safe bet you won't have to worry about it.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 5
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/25/2010 8:23:26 PM
I think there's some obvious truth to that of course, but I think it pertains to already-established relationships, not the act of courting/dating.

If someone were to take that advice shortly after they meet someone, a guy would text a girl after the 1st date "Just saying hi!!" and give a sign of clinginess... combine that with offering to go shopping and watch girlie movies (#2), suggesting she should stash a hair dryer in your bathroom, and making goofy-but-sweet milestones like "remember the first time we did..." after a 2nd or 3rd date would be really, really scary. :)

With that said, for relationships, for the 100% fits-the-stereotypical-mold kinda gal, it's great advice. But otherwise, I'd say keep that advice in mind in one and apply it to a level and in a way that suits the kind of girlfriend you are with!
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/26/2010 5:03:10 PM

I think it's great advice.

In short it's saying:

1. Pay attention

2. Learn to compromise

yep. it's pretty much just 'be considerate and be generous.'

if this piece appears to be flawed by not calling on women to do the same things, well, it's not AIMED at women, so why would it include a message for them? as much as i can't stand this kind of cosmo/redbook/vogue stuff, they call on women to do things to please men, too - there's a variation on 'how to give a better blowjob' in damned near every issue.

yes, it's laying out a hokey script that's laughable to the 30- and 40-year-olds posting here, but the college-age guys it's aimed at need those kinds of clues.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 7
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/27/2010 7:01:47 AM

So where's the post about the little things WOMEN can do for the men that make him feel special?


i think the subject of cooking, cleaning, washing our clothes and giving unsolicited BJ's are bannable offenses on here...off to ban camp for 3 days for uttering such tripe on here!


its just putting the cart before the horse to be catering to women.

catering to women is what nice guys do...

doing things for your woman is great...but if I ever had a girl where my acting "girlie" scored points with her- i picked wrong yet again!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 8
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/27/2010 7:33:21 AM
As evidenced by the broken relationship population,
as well as the many people that post in these forums
looking for advice and/or help in their relationships,
not everyone seems to have a grasp of the common
sense needed to obtain and maintain a relationship.

Every once in a while someone posts some general stuff
that might be helpful in some circumstances and are totally
worthless in others.

Rather than dissect it word for word and point out everything
that is wrong with it and how it won't work for you...why not
take it with a grain of salt (like ALL advice in here), use what
is useable and not bother with the rest?

I seriously didn't see anything in there that was so objectionable
it was worthy of a line by line " see why this sucks" tirade.

Jaysus..if we all took out own advice...we wouldn't be here...would we?

 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 9
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/27/2010 10:06:15 AM
This is decent advice but I have to agree with wyndolyker about the hints and actions which are translated, in a woman's mind, into hard core facts, nothing but an argument can come from this.


My experience has been that when a guy's really into me, though, he'll think of stuff like this spontaneously, and vice versa.


I'm sorry Helen, even as beautiful and fantastic as you are, that is wishful thinking. You'd be rejecting people because you want them to magically do the things you love, even though they really do love you but don't show it in the way you want.

And, WIP What makes guys so lucky that there is only one for the billions for guys on the planet?
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 10
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/27/2010 11:15:09 AM
I did read it.. That's my point, if a person doesn't get those hints or signals, in a natural way, they assume that person is not into them. I would argue that it is not a good gauge of whether a person is into them or not because, as wyndolyker pointed out, it's not natural behavior. It's not just the people who would be doing this to make them seem to the other party, as you stated, "unless someone wants to pretend they're more into the other party than they really are, which I think is a bad idea."

So, my point is, it's not a good gauge, either way, whether sincerity is there or not. I think direct communication is the only way you can tell, IMO.

Perhaps, I didn't come across as intended.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 11
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/27/2010 4:55:28 PM
A random text will not work on all women.
Some prefer random flowers.
some a random dinner.
Being spontaneous is great.
But be sure to know in what way a woman wants you to be.


#4 is a killer.
I don't remember dates well.
too much data to keep in my limited mental hardrive.
(which is prone to crashing from time to time)

So if yall women want us guys to remember that special stuff...
buy us a calender with all those special days marked.
We'll take it from there.
We may be guys but we're not completely helpless.
(just nearly.)
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 12
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 4/27/2010 7:07:38 PM
I prefer these other 4 small moves that score big.

1. Bring a box of saram wrap on the first date and ask her if she would like to be wrapped in it.

2. Invite her to watch cage fighting and tell her where the beers are.

3. Ask her who was the hot girl standing next to her in her profile and tell her that if the two of you do not work out, would she give you her phone number.

4. Show her your wallet pictures of you without a shirt in front of your boat, harley or better yet your Trans Am.

There you have it. Solid advice for solid dates that read Cosmo girl.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 13
view profile
History
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 5/2/2010 2:33:18 PM

1. Pay attention

2. Learn to compromise


Which are important things, from both sides, in any relationship.

Please note: Compromising does not mean changing. You can't change a person, and if you want to, you are with the wrong one. However, in a relationships, you do need to compromise and negotiate. This is within ANY relationship, be it with a partner, friend, parent, child or relative.


I agree and well said!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 14
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 5/2/2010 4:11:03 PM
I personally don't mind cut-n-past advice breakdowns. Sure, coming from Cosmo/Vogue/Redbook, they tend to be "safe" pointers -- fueling the Mr Nice Guy thing, but just about any advice has a truthful point to it, even if it's impression can mislead some people. To be fair, when a guy's in an established, settled relationship, he's more likely to be "blah" as opposed to the very different "we're-dating-lets-see-where-it-goes" phase, and the OP's advice column to do "a little more of this" can be a good thing -- even if it is hokey, because chances are, it will just nudge a regular guy to do about 10% of what it says anyway.

I think it's interesting, because that advice pertains to relationships, and a lot of (mr nice) guys who have problems finding a gal, garnering her interest, and having things generally go favorably for him, take that relationship advice and MISTAKENLY apply it to the dating circuit on a gal he recently met -- two totally different worlds, and many forms of PC literature never point out that huge difference between being in a relationship vs not being in one, as far as how to approach things.

I think when many women describe how they want a guy to be, it's in the realm of an established bf/gf situation, looking back on their past relationships when the guy didn't fulfill her long-term desires, or the things they like in their long-term bf/gf. But in the world of garnering someone's interest, before you've settled into something, it's a different world -- and trying to be a great bf/gf before you even are -- can definitely result in unfavorable situations.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
History
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 5/2/2010 10:05:13 PM
Yup, May 2009 issue of Cosmo, in the "Cosmo For Your Guy" section.
 ExquisiteEccentric
Joined: 3/30/2010
Msg: 16
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 6/14/2010 2:07:06 PM
That Score Big!!!... is that what we do? score big like were recieving achievement and progress stars?

you either match or you dont... no advice or councelling makes two people better again.. it just makes a porfit... they know your personalitys dont match.. its time to move on, they lose clients.

if your one of these 420 people, then dont date a sports lover.. date a 420.. and one day you both may quit together..

sports personalities with sports personalities.

business with business

family seekers with family seekers

how hard can it be? ... but people go basically on looks.. and personalitys come in second.. so ...

Score big.. lol.. things in a relationship should come naturally not forced, or re trained.

anyhow.. the list you have are bare basics of communication..
if your a female who doesnt get this already... seriously.. its time to move on your
living with a ROOM MATE.
If your a girlfriend not living with your boyfriend and dont already get this .. your NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH to him.. MOVE ON.

we only live once. ONCE.. why settle?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 17
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 6/14/2010 2:10:41 PM

And, WIP What makes guys so lucky that there is only one for the billions for guys on the planet?

Can you explain this? Based on the one post I made in this thread eons ago, I just don't get the question.
 TheGoob
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 18
view profile
History
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 6/16/2010 3:44:29 PM
Good ideas goodxsahead...

One slight problem though... I need to get a girlfriend to do these... I haven't got that far yet :(

Guess I need better fishing techniques.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 19
view profile
History
4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!
Posted: 6/19/2010 3:17:52 AM
good advice , really good
but what are the women doing in return....... nothing!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > 4 Small Moves That Score Big!!!